Summary: Everything was going to plan: the world was about to be saved, Belos was almost defeated, and Raine and Eda had a date secured for their wedding. But that all changes when a sacrifice needs to be made.

Angst Warning: ANGSTY

Mature/ Trigger Warning: Self-sacrifice, major character death, watching a loved one die, self-loathing, death, depressive thinking

"There has to be another way!"

Raine gently took my hands in theirs as the storm worsened around, my hair flying in every direction and the bottom of my dress twirling and twisting around my legs. I whimpered, shaking my head; no, I couldn't lose them. I couldn't let them do this. I couldn't. Their eyes filled with pain. Sadness. Longing. Love. Raine wrapped their arm around me and brought me closer, closing the gap between us until we were practically touching, our faces only inches apart.

"No, Eda. You know this is the only way," Raine whispered miserably, voice breaking and their bright green eyes filling with tears. "This has to be done."

"Raine-" I began, blinking fast. They couldn't do this, they just couldn't. I couldn't imagine a life without them in it. A world without Raine Whispers was a world I didn't want to live in or ever see. Raine dropped my hands, placing their own on my shoulders, closing whatever gap was still in between us. They pulled me in, giving me a kiss before pulling away.

"Goodbye, Eda. I will always love you, no matter what," Raine took a step away from me, turning their head so I couldn't see their tears but they weren't quick enough and I saw a few before they fully turned.

"Rainestorm!" I sobbed, shaking my head again. "Don't do this to me!"

"I'm sorry, Eda."

I reached out to them but Lilith suddenly grabbed me from behind, wrapping her arms around me and holding me back. I thrashed wildly in her grip. I couldn't let Raine do this. I couldn't let them sacrifice themself for the greater good. There had to be another way, I knew there had to be. Lily kept her strong grip on me as I fought and thrashed and struggled. I ignored her pleas to calm down, to stop fighting her. I wouldn't stop, not until Raine was safe and sound.

Raine made their way to the weakened Belos. All they had to do was perform the final spell; the spell that would not only kill Belos and destroy the machine that would destroy all realms out there, but also kill Raine. I trashed even harder against Lily but it was no use. She wasn't going to let me go.

"Raine!" I cried and they paused, briefly. They didn't turn to look at me and probably took the second pause to calm themself. "Raine!" They still didn't look at me. I had stopped fighting in Lily's grip and she seemed surprised but she was no idiot. She kept her grip strong, ready if this was just a trick and I would break from her grasp the moment she loosened it. I had to try another approach. "Let me do it!"

Finally, their head snapped towards me, feet away from Belos. "No!"

Lily was shocked as well and nearly dropped me in surprise. I took this as an opportunity to move towards Raine but Lily was fast and grabbed me again before I got too far. I huffed out in annoyance. So close yet so far. Raine was still staring at me, their eyes wide and scared even with Lily gripping me like no tomorrow and giving me no hope, or chance, to escape.

"You can't," Raine whispered, shaking their head.

"Why not?" I asked, knowing that even just talking to Raine was buying me time.

"Because," Raine growled and I flinched despite myself, shocked at their sudden harshness. "You have a family." I opened my mouth to protest but they cut me off before I had a chance to say anything. "You have the kids. They need you, Eda. They need you to be alive and well. They don't want anyone else. Besides," they take a shaky deep breath but continue to keep their eyes trained on me. "With Belos gone, you'll finally be able to live your life without unnecessary hate or prejudice. You'll finally be able to be happy."

I opened my mouth to say that I couldn't be happy without them in my life, as cliche and flowery as sounded but Raine gave me a broken, sad smile.

"Look, I don't have much time. I know this isn't the... ideal solution, but we have limited time and this is the only idea we have to save the world. I wish I could spend years with you as we planned but if this keeps you and the kids... and the entire world... safe, then I have no regrets. I only wished I found you again earlier." They lift their violin, tears filling their eyes again. "Goodbye, Eda. Thank you for being in my life."

I wish I could say that I stayed strong. That I didn't cower and I kept my eyes trained on Raine as they performed the spell to kill Belos and destroy the machine. But I couldn't. I couldn't watch them die. I couldn't watch the life I thought we had fade away right before my eyes when I was powerless to help. I bit my lip hard and squeezed my eyes shut, letting out a pained whimper as Lily shifted her grip to turn me towards her, squeezing me tight as if this could protect me from the pain. Obviously, it couldn't, but it was a nice sentiment nonetheless and I clutched onto Lily like a lifeline. I learned to live half alive for thirty years, to rely on myself and myself alone and I wasn't changing my ways now. But still, during times like these, I needed my big sister to hold me.

As I buried my face in Lily's chest, memories came at me fast and furious, no matter how hard I tried to forget them, to push them out of my mind.

Eda! You're embarrassing me in front of my crew!

See? You'd be a mess without me.

Look at the emperor's lackeys! Trying to- uh- do I really have to say this? Trying to... mute the music of our hearts? Ugh.

I whimpered into Lily's chest but it was silent, quiet. She must have felt me shaking in her grip because she clutched me tighter as the memories came faster and faster.

I don't know what you're running from. But a great witch once told me... something about punching fears in the face? What I'm trying to say is- don't give up so easily. They probably need you more than you realize.
It's alright, everyone. The owl lady is an old friend.
Look, we may not make it out ourselves.
Who cares about a silly performance? This is more fun.

"Shh, it's okay, you're okay... I know it hurts."

I must have made a noise of some sort. Lily kept whispering to me, trying to calm me down. I clutched her tighter.

Go. You know I can't stand an audience. Eda... do you have... kids?! I'm sorry Eda, it's over.

I lifted my hand up and pulled away. Lily must have loosened her grip as I was clutching her. I couldn't look when I last saw Raine. Lily looked surprised but she didn't say anything. She just smiled sadly at me. I looked around, making sure I didn't look there, looking for the kids. I hoped they were safe. I couldn't lose them too. New tears filled my eyes but I pushed them away as I kept searching. Finally, finally, after minutes of frantic searching, I saw them. Luz was helping Amity and King out of the hidden nook I forced them in when things had started to get dangerous. Luz must have felt my eyes on her because she turned and looked at me. Even from the distance, I could see worry and concern fill my eyes. They might have been hidden when Raine sacrificed themself, but the nook wasn't soundproof; they heard the entire thing.

In a matter of seconds, Luz and I had crossed half the area, meeting somewhere in the middle. The moment Luz got close enough, she flung her arms around me and pulled me in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Eda."

"It's... It's okay," I whispered, lying. We held each other for another moment before I pulled away roughly and looked her up and down, checking for any injuries. "Are you okay?!"

She smiled, "Yep! Well..." she paused. "Physically. Not so sure about mentally or emotionally."

I let out a sigh of relief, "No one is okay mentally or emotionally at the moment."

"Understatement of the year."

Amity and King were making their way over to us. I forced any sadness off my face as they got closer and Amity looped her arm around Luz. Luz smiled but frowned when Amity kissed her cheek and whispered something I couldn't hear to her. Amity looked upset but only for a split second before glancing at me and nodding. I knew what they were saying and thinking without having to hear. I looked away.

Something grabbed my legs and I looked down to see King hugging the bottom of my legs. He looked up at me. "Are you okay, Mom?"

"I'm fine," I lied as I picked him up and held him close. "Or, at least, I will be."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," I whispered. It was a lie, of course. I was anything but okay. But if there was anything I was sure about— and at the moment there were few things I was one hundred percent sure about— it was the fact that Raine would want me to carry on, to be happy. It seemed impossible and I couldn't help but wonder if I'll ever even achieve it but I had to try. For Raine.

Raine had been right when they said my life was going to be different from here on out. Freer. I could mope around or I could keep going, hide the pain and the hurt like I always did. I owed it to Raine. I still couldn't glance at the stop where I knew Raine died, and where they probably still laid, silent and gone. The kids were talking amongst themselves, keeping a close eye on me but not really paying attention to me. I tilted my head away, the closet I could get to look at the spot without looking at it. "I'm going to be okay," I barely breathed to Raine, even though I knew they were gone and couldn't hear me. "I'm going to be okay," I repeated then paused, swallowing hard.

"I promise."