For those of you who have been all caught up for a while; I have found and posted, with permission, some truly awesome cover images for the first book! Please go check them out, the illustrator deserves all the love he/ they can get!

PJOPJOPJOPJO

Magnus looked personally offended at what he'd just read as the new chapter title. "I take it back, I don't want to know what the Triple G stands for anymore."

"Ugh, I'm with you on this one," Alex huffed. "Manly dudes strutting around being all macho with cowboy boots sounds as appealing as going shopping with Karen. Unless some Brokeback Mountain shit goes on, I'm out."

Magnus felt a very debilitating sense of hope as he realized Alex might not think muscular dudes like Hugh Jackman were his type...but wait, what did that say about himself?

"I'm sensing a lot of denim in this upcoming chapter and I am not going to like it," Thalia grumbled.

"Wearing a cowboy hat to cover up horns should be no one's idea of a good time," Jason agreed, though he would totally call in an I told you so to Percy if he guessed it right.

"But, but, cute animals!" Will protested. He enjoyed the south, thank you very much, and missed it quite a lot in the winter especially. It was really charming in the right places.

Nico was huddled up in his seat deep into his jacket. He'd been loathing this oncoming chapter and more of his crappy life on display. Will sighed, but all of the cute farm animals in the world and a merciful dry cold in the dead of winter had nothing on Nico's miserable brown eyes that just wanted to get through this.

...water spilled into the pit, and I couldn't see the bottom.

"Now that would have been a badass Neptune cabin," Jason said.

"I could do my own laundry without getting out of bed," Percy chuckled.

... "I should jump in and save you trouble."

Percy winced uneasily at that. "I could never have a slumber party in my room though, I just know somebody's bound to fall in."

"Still think it's appropriate," Jason muttered. This area summed up his feelings about Neptune pretty well.

...You know more about fighting Titans than anybody."

"You really did just stumble into a game changer of a friend in prison," Jason agreed.

"I will not be putting that in the summary, my mother would kill me!" Percy yelped.

..."I have nothing to offer, I have lost everything."

"That's when you should build something," Alex said in one of his most serious tones of voice.

"Tyson would help," Magnus agreed with a gentleness to his voice that didn't surprise anyone.

..."What about your brothers? We can take you to them."

"Oh, so he just needs a growth spurt, explains a lot," Percy chuckled, but it fell flat. Annabeth wasn't here to elbow him to shut up about still making jokes on that.

..."I thought monsters were immortal, like the gods."

Yet Percy looked as somber as anyone else for that question being said out loud. There had already been evidence enough immortal didn't mean one would live forever, Zoe had been more than enough of an experience for them to learn that; having been erased from history even before her death.

... Medusa had once said how her sisters had left her alone.

Something of that still nagged at Percy's mind, those two Bargain Mart Ladies that had chased him non-stop no matter how convinced he was they should have died from that bowling ball accident.

... how terrible it would be to be so old, and totally alone.

"Makes Mr. D a tad more relatable, huh?" Will asked sadly. "Stuck alone at that camp."

"He's not alone," Percy scowled, "he's got us ants there to torture!" He didn't really shout though. It did make a kind of sense put that way, even if he'd still forever wish they weren't Dionysus's punishment.

... I do not have a finger gun to win this game."... he made one hundred finger guns.

Percy's heart flinched in his chest like it was trying to flee him. Looking at that given him a shot of pure fear, like looking down a military execution aimed right at him.

But it was just a game. A silly trick he'd done to help Briares escape, but like Magnus had said, it was a lesson the hundred-handed one was turning back on him now to leave.

"Maybe that's why monsters fade... Maybe it's because you give up on yourself."

"Wise words for a seaweed brain," Thalia shook her head affectionately. "Is that why you pulled him away, so Annabeth wouldn't punch you for mocking her?"

Percy grinned and mock wiped his brow in relief. "You caught me, please don't tell?"

"Nah, it can be our secret," she smiled.

... His face morphed into an expression I recognized—shame.

Percy knew even Tyson couldn't have stopped this guy and dragged him along, but he still sat there wishing he could. That he'd done something, anything else.

"I never said you have to reenact his faces Percy," Alex told him in exasperation. "Put the shame face away man, you did all you could."

"Yeah, I guess," Percy wanted to believe that anyways.

...Tyson sobbed.

"I lied, bring him back and stab him," Alex scowled, hands twitching for his garrote for anyone making Tyson cry.

"Maybe a tad extreme," Magnus put a cautious hand on his shoulder.

"It also disproves Nico's theory I can win any fight, because I sure didn't win that," Percy groaned. He wanted so badly to offer his brother comfort, but even back then he had no clue how.

...Grover hesitantly patted his shoulder, which must've taken all his courage.

"I still say that was hitting Medusa, while blind, and flying," Jason grinned.

"Personal courage and battle courage aren't always the same," Thalia muttered.

Tyson sneezed. "It's not okay, goat boy. He was my hero."

"Grover should offer him a jar of peanut butter," Alex said, "nobody could be upset then."

"People allergic to peanut butter," Percy corrected.

"Have you met somebody with a nut allergy? Half of them live life on the edge and eat anyways for that stuff," Alex scoffed at his naivety.

I wanted to make him feel better, but I wasn't sure what to say.

"Never meet your heroes," Nico said casually.

Percy winced, and looked at him again. Percy had looked at him more today than he possibly had their entire time knowing each other.

Nico met those sea-green eyes with a sense of relief he'd finally said it out loud for the first time. Not everything, like The Word, he still felt a cold chill run through him every time he realized he'd said that out loud, but it got slowly better every time he realized he did. Like a tight muscle unclenching itself after years of being knotted. As bad as it was for Tyson to learn, Will and Alex had been right. It was still better to know and feel the disappointment than live in ignorance forever.

... Annabeth finally said, "Let's find a better place to camp for the night."

"Reason number 33 she should lead all quests," Percy nodded in agreement. "I would have just stood there until we all fell asleep trying to think of something to say."

"It's okay Percy, nobody accused you of your great strength being rousing speeches," Thalia promised.

... part of a Greek tomb, with bronze torches fastened to the walls.

"Did you cross over to Egypt?" Magnus asked wearily. "Because it sounds like you're sleeping in a pyramid, and I've had enough nightmares of being chased by mummies without you adding to them." The kids in his class used to laugh at him for thinking that 1999 movie was anything remotely scary like it was his fault!

"Pretty sure the Labyrinth is restricted to America," Percy said with a shrug like that was any help at all, and also, no real confidence in that statement.

..."Get some rest. We'll keep going in the morning."

"Which means it's probably going to change to the modern equivalent of an Art Deco building when you wake up," Jason frowned.

"You and Annabeth can compare architecture tips later," Percy groaned.

"How do we know when it's morning?" Grover asked.

"When you all wake up together and happy," Will said, but the awkward laugh that followed was a little to real considering they'd all been living that problem themselves for the past few days under the ocean.

...Grover pulled straw out, ate some, made a pillow of the rest, and was snoring in no time.

"Have I mentioned how awesome that is," Magnus grinned. "We could eradicate homelessness if more people were part goat."

"You heard it here first folks, genetic experimentation to turn all people into greek myths," Alex spoke into an invisible microphone, then tipped it towards Magnus. "Tell us, who would be your first test subject?"

Magnus hesitated for a moment, he really should have thought about that one first and not said anything, but it would be worse for himself if he didn't. And this wasn't just something he'd want to laugh off. So he looked him in the eyes and said, "anybody who denies there's a homeless problem."

Alex grinned and tipped the 'microphone,' back towards himself. "Great answer. Back to you Jason!"

"What did we say about eradicating news broadcasts?" Percy asked in exasperation.

"Only the nonimportant ones that don't check their facts," Alex grinned.

..."He is not strong," Tyson said. "He is not important anymore."

"Note to self, start lifting weights," Thalia mock whispered and doodled on her palm, before smacking said invisible piece of paper on Percy's chest.

He brushed it off with an exasperated look at her, but didn't try to fight off a smile.

... metal pieces fell out of his hand, still unassembled, as Tyson began to snore.

"Now that is a magical ability I bet plenty of people would volunteer to be willing to undergo experiments to do," Jason said.

"Depends on how optional the snoring is," Percy shrugged.

"And the loss of an eyeball," Thalia frowned.

...Something about getting chased by a dragon lady made it hard to relax.

Will stroked an imaginary beard as if in deep contemplation before snapping his fingers. "Then maybe don't do that again!"

"It wasn't voluntary!" Percy yelped.

"He says, as if he couldn't have turned right back around when he found himself in a prison cell," Jason rolled his eyes.

"To be fair," Thalia said of herself as much as him, "I don't think it's humanly possible to not be curious and look around when you pop up somewhere."

"It is if you don't want to die and or be chased by a large dragon lady with poison swords," Magnus frowned.

"Well look at you and your cushy life," Percy grinned.

... over to where Annabeth was sitting, keeping watch.

Magnus fought the urge to cover his ears and start humming very loudly. They weren't old enough to have anything resembling a conversation that should warrant that. Yet.

... I imagined what she looked like, wandering around with Thalia and Luke.

Magnus read that with a sense of longing that seemed strange to the others. He wished he could sit around and talk to Thalia and Percy about that time, hear more about her life outside of what Percy had gleaned.

It didn't feel like his business to ask of others though. He wanted to ask her first if she even wanted some weird kid in her life that was part of a family she clearly was on rocky terms with.

"I just wish the quest was logical," she complained.

"It really does sound like the worst scenario for her," Jason agreed with a pained grimace. "Like a real life Greek myth, she finally got her wish and it's just mocking her."

"Jason, all Greek tragedies were real," Percy reminded a tad smugly.

"I'm going to make your death a mystery," he rolled his eyes.

... How can you walk from New York to California in a day?"

"And without any bathroom breaks," Will agreed in awe. "That's got to be some kind of record."

"Who says I didn't stop and use the little Poseidon's room in that waterfall?" Percy said way to nonchalantly for that to be a joke. "It went straight down to Tartarus after all, and the automatic flushing was nice."

The others groaned while Thalia told Will, "you walked right into that one. Did you really think he wouldn't follow through on that set up?"

"Lesson learned," he promised.

... All that planning and reading, I don't have a clue where we're going."

"You guys never know what you're doing and it works out," Thalia cheerfully waved off.

Percy gave her a strange, lingering smile as Jason read.

... we never know what we're doing. It always works out.

"Dammit," she sighed before they both started snickering.

..."I got us thrown off that ride? That was totally your fault!"

"It was literally her fault with that maximum height nonsense!" Alex argued. Mostly because they suspected he just liked to argue.

"Percy started it with dumping all that water into the ride to escape the spiders," Magnus cheerfully reminded on behalf of his cousin.

They probably would have gone on like that, like they all needed a live reenactment of Percy and Annabeth bickering. Jason had the good sense to clear his throat and silently remind them now wasn't the time.

... what did Hera mean when she said you knew how to get through the maze?"

"Lies and hypocrisy I assume," Alex scowled anew.

"Did she really show up to sow dissent between you guys?" Magnus sounded more troubled than Jason did about how these gods worked sometimes.

"I mean, that is a thing she would do," Nico said callously while Percy thumped his pen against his temple in frustration. "This time though, I honestly think it might have been meant as a helpful hint." Certainly more than he'd ever gotten, but if this was the kind of help he would have received he was just slightly grateful none of the gods had tried.

..."You'd tell me if you did?"

"You have literally never tried to hide anything from her," Magnus said critically. "I can't imagine you starting now."

"Thanks man," Percy grinned. It felt nice sometimes to always be confident someone so like Annabeth saw the best in him too.

..."Maybe if you told me the last line of the prophecy, it would help."

"And maybe if I told you what a binturong was you'd be able to cure cancer," Will snorted.

"What's a binturong?" Percy asked blankly.

"Don't change the subject," Thalia tisked at him, already knowing that was a lost cause trying to get him to pay attention to one thing at a time.

Annabeth shivered. "Not in the dark." "Hera said—" "Stop," Annabeth snapped.

Percy sat back in his seat with a troubled sigh. She'd never snapped at him to shut it before. Their first fight? Or did that whole Athena hates Poseidon thing count first-

He was distracted from that as Magnus kept going in the slightly awkward pause.

...I've got to think about it."

Nico felt the oddest sensation yet for her since he'd been down here. Sympathy.

Not quite pity, she had Percy to talk to about all of her problems if she wanted. He was still wrapping his head around the fact Alex and Will had bothered to talk to him. No, it was the recent knowledge of how overwhelming the thoughts in your head could be and knowing you needed to sit with them and yet having no where to start, no way to sort them out that didn't leave you in a mess.

He hoped she did talk to Percy about what was bothering her before it overwhelmed her. He wouldn't wish his confusing life on anyone.

..."Nico's down here somewhere... He's coming after me."

"I guess I should have been more worried what kind of take me out he was going to do," Percy said glibly. He'd never realized you could assassinate someone or have them out for dinner with just one word.

Nico looked at him terrified, like Percy was going to snap his fingers and crush all his bones. Percy just gave him the least awkward smile yet, he'd thought a joke would help lighten the mood.

Thalia elbowed him, hard, while Jason and Magnus looked on with pure confusion. "What?" Percy protested.

"Percy, not everybody's so casual about, um, whatever you and Nico talked about," Thalia whispered to him.

"What?" He was more confused than anything, but he still felt a blush coming back. "Why? Will and Alex are both weirdly okay with whatever they say?" He at least hissed back in her tone.

"But not everybody is," she murmured right by his ear. "Just, wait for him to say anything first before you do."

He had no clue what she was getting at, but he shrugged and let it go.

...I'd never seen her look more tired.

Percy knew that feeling intricately. Sitting in the back of a truck with abused animals and gnawing over what could be so much it made everything hopeless while you stumbled into the next catastrophe.

Annabeth had never let him down on his quest though, and he was determined he would do the same for her.

... she just nodded, slumped into her bedroll, and closed her eyes.

There had been so little light in that tunnel, his brain had been going haywire all night over the smallest noise. He'd flicked a spider off her at one point before she had to wake up and realize that. Her tangled blonde curls kept tickling her neck and she'd moved and brushed at them in her sleep, smudging that dirt on her cheek as she muttered.

He probably wasn't that good at guard duty, looking back.

When it was my turn, I dreamed I was back in the old man's Labyrinth prison.

"What's a level above a 3D experience?" Magnus looked at him tragically. "Percy's over here living a double life being in this place two times at once and it's depressing."

"You're telling me," Percy agreed with a thankful smile all the same. Anybody else giving him that pitying look would have made him uncomfortable, but Magnus seemed genuinely sorry for him.

...The boy I'd seen was stoking the bellows, except he was taller now, almost my age.

"That awkward moment where I'm not sure if I'd take juvie or this?" Alex grumbled. The freedom to be able to work in a prison, have more than one room and one person to interact with, was not something he'd tolerate though under any circumstances, so it was a moot point.

... part of the Labyrinth could be open to the sky...made it seem like an even crueler place.

Magnus had thought much the same the first time he heard it. He lived the feeling every day of seeing everything he'd never have again as he pulled his jacket tighter around him.

...Metal feathers flashed thirty different shades of gold.

Thalia shuddered at those things being strapped to her back, but Alex's breath caught in his throat at the beautiful imagery. He could turn into a golden bird if he wished, and yet the craftsman ship of somebody making the painstaking effort in those lit a unique fire in him to long and try the same.

...The old man smiled. "Tell me something I don't know, Icarus.

"Why do I know that name?" Magnus frowned. It was one of those moments he swore he'd heard through osmosis, something circled and passed around in word of mouth he'd swear he had no attachment to.

"Not sure," Percy agreed, "but a kid named Ick- anything must be happy to at least have some isolation from other kids."

Jason snorted in surprise while Thalia sighed in exasperation at the idiot.

...The boy attached a leather harness to his father's chest,

This boy adored his father, which left a strange silence in the room as Magnus read over that. Not one of them knew that feeling. Most of them barely had a relationship with their dad if they talked at all.

...using a metal canister that looked like an enormous hot-glue gun.

"And you said I didn't have any hand to scar knowledge," Percy grinned. "Try helping your mom out with some arts and crafts project and see if you come away without one of these," he prodded his ring finger where a slight discoloration of skin was, right below a sizeable deep scar from one of his early sword practices.

Or, it used to be.

"I would never accuse a kid like you of not knowing about hot-glue Percy," Alex grinned. "Your mom probably banned you from using them too early in life."

"A successful win, glad you know me so well," he chuckled, but it sounded choked up as he kept prodding at the flesh in his fingers that still moved like normal...yet he'd swear they were somebody else's hands for a moment. He knew that scar should have been there, Annabeth had told him to put water on it and he'd deliberately ignored her because a scar had sounded like the coolest thing to have in that moment...Were his memories coming back wrong...

Thalia had to nudge him again, hard, to get him to pay attention. He felt like he should have a bruise on his ribs by this point as often as she did that, but his creepy baby hands rubbed at the spot and somehow knew that wouldn't happen no matter how many times she did.

..."And the sun's heat would loosen them," the boy finished.

Magnus's mind nagged at him more stubbornly by the moment. A story about a boy who flew to close to the sun? He'd read an article once on where the idea was based on, and something of Greek stories had played a part in it.

His stomach started sinking low as he put two and two together. There had yet to be a Greek story that didn't end in tragedy.

..."complete faith in your invention! No one has ever been as smart as you."

Thalia's stomach pitched unpleasantly. The gods never liked it when something like that was spoken into the air. The Fates themselves may have just sealed this boys fate before Athena could have concocted a plan.

...It was obvious he loved his son more than anything.

Alex studied the book intently for a few moments, annoyed that was an expression he could never replicate in a sculpture if he'd never actually seen it.

...His wings seemed to weigh him down, getting in his way while he worked.

"I'm guessing this was a prototype experiment, maybe needs a few test runs before it's marketable," Jason muttered uneasily.

"I don't think his, um, investor is giving him much time to test the safety features," Thalia didn't need to remind him. If this wasn't a blatant escape attempt then there was a cake about to jump out of that bronze manhole cover.

... "The guards aren't due until—" BOOM!

"That one wasn't me!" Percy said with a shaky attempt at a laugh that fell flat fast. The silence was starting to settle around them as they all expected his dream to end with the nightmarish image of someone's death.

...The boy winced but did not cry out.

Will winced horribly with him, wondering how much pain the poor boy had been through all these years to learn how to do that.

..."Well," the king said with a cruel smile. "Going somewhere?"

"I'm panicking right now and don't have a witty comeback for that," Percy admitted. He wanted to be in that cell, to hold off this horrible king and those guards while they escaped.

"Brave soul to admit that," Alex told him, just as impressed as if he had spouted some one-liner.

Daedalus and his son froze, metal wings glimmering.

"I really hope he made a prayer to Zeus," Magnus muttered uneasily. "He sounds like he's really going to need all the help he can get." He found himself signing it, like he wished he hadn't had to say it out loud and jinx it. He missed Hearth.

He wasn't entirely sure why they were hearing about this either. He would have thought Percy would be dreaming of how Daedalus had created the maze and all its horrors. Why was the man's death so worthy of this nightmare?

... "You look like metal chickens. Perhaps we should pluck you and make a soup."

"Maybe he'd like a pair of his own?" Nico said with a nasty smile. "Chickens cannibalize each other. Daedalus would probably be more than happy to make a parting pair so he could join."

"Two sentences I'm sure have no relation to each other," Percy said with a strange look at him as usual when this king was brought up. The flash of outrage that always passed over Nico felt really personal and always amped Percy's headache up to eleven.

...You killed my monster and made me a laughingstock. You will never escape me!"

"All crimes I'm so sure this ass hole had no part of the fault in whatsoever," Jason scowled.

"That bad luck stuff really does come in threes," Percy chuckled. "Maybe he'll get lucky and a drought will come along so he can blame all his problems on the weather next."

...The guards rushed forward, but each got a stream of hot wax in his face.

Alex made a humming noise of pleasure and Magnus swallowed uneasily at the vivid mental image of him doing that to someone who next annoyed him.

... One threw his sword in desperation,

"With hot wax in his face?" Thalia sounded incredulously impressed. "I hope that man got a promotion for dedication."

"Or more likely was beheaded first," Nico grumbled.

...His sandals skimmed the waves.

Thalia looked a tad green around the edges of that being described in such vivid detail. Jason looked downright envious, it sounded magical and something he had a funny feeling he'd dreamed about doing in another life he might actually remember.

...His son was drunk on his own freedom.

Will was wincing over every other word though. This story was probably still so popular as a cautionary tale to listen to your parents, look both ways before crossing the streets no matter how sure you were. Will heard it as the boy having to much faith in his father's abilities. Either way you looked at it, this boy had not deserved such a miserable life only to die like that.

...The first metal feather shook loose and fluttered away.

There wasn't much shock, or a bunch of falsities this story was going to end happily ever after. Magnus read somberly, there was a sense of gentleness in the way he read that indicated this wasn't the first tragic story he'd heard and knew the right way to control his voice.

... twirled away from him like a flock of frightened birds.

"I feel the need to give a hats off one more time to whoever it is describing that, glorious, mental image," Alex said in a very restrained voice holding back awe, and laughter. He felt a little bad, this was a real kid that had really died, but also that was just to vivid an image to be expressed in only words. His hands ached for some clay to somehow memorialize that, as he was sure some Greek had once done.

...I woke with a start, feeling like I was falling.

Percy fought off the urge to startle in his seat now as he rubbed at his thudding heart, that bronze battering ram might as well have been pounding against his ribs. Maybe he'd been wrong before. He should be more grateful about the nightmares where his pants try to eat him.

...Icarus, his only joy, plummeting toward the sea.

Nico sighed as he studied his boots and imagined the rest of that kids passing. He was probably still in the Fields of Asphodel for all eternity, having lived an unremarkable life, but moments like this made him wish there was another option.

He'd been no hero, so there was no way he'd get into Elysium, but he'd also never been given a chance. He'd just had a miserable life, and it shouldn't just be the hero's who deserved to try for better.

...a fabulous breakfast of granola bars and juice boxes,

"You guys are way to young to be eating old people food for breakfast," Alex sighed. "Where's the soda and cake because nobody can't tell you not to? Where's the vodka?"

"Alex's potential alcoholic sugar rush aside," Will said with his eyes closed like the idea physically pained him, "I for one am glad to see Annabeth is a smart packer!"

...I didn't mention my dream.... I didn't think the others needed to know.

"Not seeing how it would have helped much," Jason agreed warily, "but I still think you should have. It might not have shined a light on your path problem, or anything, but it's still better to get off your chest, and maybe Annabeth would have opened up too."

"And you share every thought that comes to your mind huh?" Percy asked glumly. "Between the terrified peeps Grover kept making for every step we took and Annabeth muttering to herself about which way to go, I didn't want to break the awesome symphony they had going."

Jason wasn't going to keep arguing the point, he just wished Percy understood Annabeth might have liked for her troops to know they could confide any little thing in her.

..."This isn't right," she said. "It should still be stone."

"Why?" Magnus asked in ever growing concern why she still thought any of this should make sense.

"Dirt is the oldest thing on the planet, isn't that an even better path to lead to the oldest workshop?" Alex agreed.

Nobody was so much ignoring their questions, they just didn't have a good answer.

...In the center of the dirt floor was a rectangular pit, like a grave.

"Frankly I'm surprised you haven't come across more people deciding to just start digging their own graves," Will admitted with itchy skin. He probably would have if he'd been stuck in that Labyrinth.

Grover shivered. "It smells like the Underworld in here."

"I never really thought cemeteries would smell like pleasant mangroves, but thanks for the confirmation," Percy muttered.

...a half-chewed cheeseburger floating in brown carbonated muck.

"Nico, we have got to work on your signature exit strategy," Alex told him. "You get points for originality, but that must take way to long to orchestrate, and the waste!"

"I like to think of it more as a really fancy calling card," Nico grinned. "I've been here and you should all know and fear me."

"Hey," Alex grinned and even gave him a finger gun. "Good one!"

...standing there gave me a sense of urgency. Nico was close, I could feel it.

Nico looked around at him in mild concern. "If you start tracking me like a bloodhound you will regret it."

"I was hoping you had some fries left over," Percy admitted with a sheepish grin. He was just to relieved the kid was okay rather than the surge of urgency he'd had in that place.

... alone except for the dead. I started to run.

Nico seemed genuinely touched. He even gave Percy a brief smile, the friendliest expression Percy had ever seen on him. Percy immediately smiled back, really hoping all this awkward crush business had just blown over finally.

... We were under a steel grate made out of metal pipes. I could see trees and blue sky.

"Are you in another prison underground?" Magnus asked in trepidation. "Is the whole labyrinth just going to lead you to every prison on the planet?"

"I, really hope not," Percy said with a blank stare.

Thalia made an awkward noise as she tried not to agree. It was certainly an imprisonment for those poor animals.

...I didn't know cows came in that color.

"Where did you think strawberry milk came from Percy?" Jason said with way to much confidence, it actually threw Percy off for a moment before they both chuckled.

"Um, they kind of can," Alex agreed, "but not bright red. More of a deep red color."

"No, I mean like, Rachel's hair red, I am not kidding," Percy promised.

"So our options on the dude ranch are cute cow shows where they die their cattle rainbow colors, or fiery cows that are going to kill you," Magnus sighed.

Will fought hard to stifle a laugh he was pretty close on that second one.

"Maybe Bessie's parents are there," Alex chuckled.

...if you had hooves, you'd know about cattle guards. They're annoying!"

"Poor Grover," Magnus agreed. "I wonder if he can walk over any grate, like those giant ones you see in store parking lots."

"I get the feeling Grover doesn't frequent grocery stores very much for that to be a problem," Thalia reminded.

... "Didn't Hera say something about a ranch? Nico might be there."

"She also said to keep going past the ranch," Nico supplied with perfect clarity and a very confused raised eyebrow. "You're really ignoring the one good bit of advice she gave you?"

"Like I'm going to take some goddess's advice that stressed out Annabeth so much," Percy scoffed, "we still need to have a talk!"

"Right," Nico agreed with another surprised smile.

..."Sorry, cow!" he called.

There was just friendly laughter going around the room for a moment, along with Alex and Magnus sharing some odd signs about finishing an animal book of noises nobody else followed.

..."Red cattle," Annabeth said. "The cattle of the sun."

"I was joking about them being able to breathe fire too!" Magnus groaned.

"No, no, you were right on the money with that one," Will chuckled.

..."Holy cows?"

"Are the Greeks responsible for every old saying?" Magnus laughed in surprise. "Like if I say the phrase till the cows come home, are you going to tell me it's based on a myth?"

"Um," Thalia gave him an awkward smile rather than admit, yeah, probably.

... the distant baying of dogs.

Alex did a weirdly good reenactment of that like they needed a live performance.

Jason laughed hard in surprise, for some reason he just knew he had a misplaced fondness for hunting dogs Mrs. O'Leary hadn't quite struck in him.

...snapping and snarling and generally not very glad to see us.

"Cool," Jason grinned wider than ever.

"Not in the slightest," Magnus muttered, fighting off the impulse to make the warding off evil gesture at the idea of this thing anywhere near him.

"Bad Janus dog!" Tyson cried.

Magnus had no choice but to laugh too though.

"Do you think one head sniffs out truth and the other lies?" Thalia tagged in.

Jason gave her a startled look, something of the description of this dog and that tied in well-

but Magnus kept reading quickly, his dislike of canines wasn't subtle, and he obviously didn't want to linger on this.

... I guess it wasn't impressed that Grover could speak animal.

"It's like speaking to a New Yorker," Will offered. "Just because you learn the lingo doesn't mean you're welcome."

"Fair enough," Percy said with a bright-eyed thanks, nobody had ever explained it like that before.

...wooden club with six-inch spikes bristling at the business end.

"That is a very manly dude on this demon animal ranch," Magnus groaned, fighting off the urge to chuck the book away from him at the chapter title once again being way to accurate.

"I bet he makes good barbeque though," Alex said like he was still willing to give the place a chance if someone let him pet the animals.

"Heel, Orthus," he told the dog.

"He named his dog twilight?" Alex asked with a very concerning, twitching smile. "Well, given the pet, I'm sure I can guess which team he was on."

"We all have our secret hobbies," Magnus said with an eye roll, he really hoped that wasn't one Alex secretly liked.

... made his feelings clear, then circled back to his master's feet.

"Um, good dog?" Will said meekly. "It's always nice to express your feelings."

"Maybe not the kind that make you want to cover your throat," Nico frowned, he'd been on the receiving end of those fangs getting a little to close.

...I started to say, "How did you know—"

"Well you don't look like cow rustlers," Thalia snorted.

... "I'm Annabeth, daughter of Athena. This is Percy, son of Poseidon.

"Why the actual fridge fart did she introduce you with your parents?" Jason demanded. "That tends to cause more problems!"

Percy was to busy repeating a particular part of Jason's question to himself to answer while Thalia shrugged nonchalantly. "Dog might have sniffed it out, most monsters know anyways, no point in lying."

... I'm Eurytion, the cowherd for this here ranch. Son of Ares.

"I'm curious if that whole, forever grudging hate thing Ares has against you for beating him is passed on through some kind of psychic link to all his kids, not just the ones at Camp," Alex asked, miming a head explosion to emphasize his point.

"You just want to hear about someone meeting me and beating the tar out of me," Percy frowned in accusation.

"Trying to beat the tar out of you," Alex corrected. "You're not wrong, but that's not entirely why I want to know," Alex agreed.

"Well I couldn't guess," Percy said in exasperation.

..."We get a load of visitors from the Labyrinth. Not many ever leave."

Will sat up straight in his seat, no more jokes or tiffs about silly things like being afraid of a two-headed dog as he looked seriously from Nico to the book and back. Nico had last said he'd gotten caught, but no more. He really hadn't been that worried about it since he was right here, but now his Apollo-healer tingle started humming if they had actually hurt him while holding him there for however long until he got out.

"Wow," I said. "I feel welcome."

"They should put a mat out instead of some old cattle guard," Alex agreed.

... Get back in the maze now. Before it's too late."

The short, sharp breath that escaped Nico wasn't his first in this room. He'd almost come to expect it in regards to Percy, the boy he'd actually known nothing about really.

This moment caught him off guard anew. That Percy could have run and come back when the quest was over. That he'd followed his impulsiveness to come find him but still had the chance to turn around.

"We're not leaving. Not until we see this other demigod. Please."

And they didn't. Neither Percy or Annabeth. With everything else weighing heavier on the line, they actually picked him at that moment.

..."Then you leave me no choice. I've got to take you to the boss."

"If this guy's just the grunt, how big is the boss going to be?" Magnus frowned.

"You really want to know that?" Alex asked in surprise.

"No," he sighed, "but we're going to find out anyways."

"Well then you can either cover up your ears and ignore it all or make up a lie for yourself in the meantime," Alex scoffed.

I didn't feel like we were hostages or anything.

"And the amount of exposure you've had to that feeling makes me confident in your verification of that," Jason sighed.

"I always wanted an adventurous life," Percy shrugged.

...One stallion had columns of flames out his nose. I wondered if it hurt his sinuses.

"I'm sensing a theme," Alex said with interest.

"If Orthus isn't immune to flames then I don't know how they get the herding done around there," Magnus said curiously, "unless they have a separate fire breathing dog just for that and Orthus is security."

"I just want to know what happens when you milk them," Jason chuckled. "Is that were the lava at camp comes from?"

Percy laughed along with them like he didn't have a care in the world.

 "We raise animals for lots of clients. Apollo, Diomedes, and others." ..."No more questions."

"Are we really surprised?" Thalia scoffed. "If he was going to tell you his entire clientele he'd already be bragging about it."

"He didn't really answer my question," Percy insisted, "you know I'd never let something like that go."

..."It looks like a Frank Lloyd Wright!" Annabeth said.

"The building looks like a person?" Will squinted suspiciously.

"No, I think the guy is famous for organic architecture or something," Jason grinned. "I'm sure I've come across his name, though I have no clue why."

"The house is, edible?" Percy frowned. "It didn't look made out of candy and gingerbread."

"No, they're like, open, modern, utilize the best space," Jason said, his brow creasing with concentration as he tried to remember why he'd read about this. "Um, I think prairie dogs came up at one point?"

"We seriously need a book on what you've been up to," Thalia said, her selfish reasons aside in this case.

"Well, at least we're sticking with a farm theme," Will nodded like that was all the relief he needed.

... the kind of place where a few demigods could get into serious trouble.

"Percy, that's every building you walk into," Magnus scoffed.

"I could put you in a rubber room and you'd find a way to make it explode," Alex agreed with pride.

No wonder he did so well on this very combustible farm, Nico kept to himself, and Percy didn't even explode anything. He was just in his natural element even out of the water.

"Don't break the rules," Eurytion warned.

"He hasn't told us the rules yet!" Will protested like he expected the monsters to play fair.

"I guess he never got numb to the pretty scenery and was distracted," Alex rolled his eyes.

"No fighting. No drawing weapons, don't speak about the boss's appearance."

"Oh," Thalia said in great exhaustion. "Percy's screwed."

Percy didn't bother to deny it, he was already tapping his pen against each knuckle with growing unease. Eurytion hadn't bothered him much, but something of this house was setting his instincts ablaze, and he had a feeling it didn't have anything to do with organic housing.

... a new voice said, "Welcome to the Triple G Ranch."

"Unless the triple stands for gay I don't think this is going to be any fun," Alex pouted.

"And here I was starting to delude myself the G stood for great," Magnus sighed. "Triple Great Ranch, where nobody almost dies!"

"Focusing on the wrong part of that," Thalia muttered low enough Percy couldn't hear.

The man on the porch had a normal head, which was a relief.

Percy wasn't phased by the smattering of snickers that covered the room. They were lucky they'd only had to hear the weirdness described.

... a black pencil moustache like villains have in old movies.

"What's with the evil mustaches in this book?" Will asked nervously, still watching Nico anxiously. He didn't seem particularly traumatized by this guy showing up again, but was back to fiddling with his ring uneasily. "Why can't someone be described with a friendly mustache like Santa?"

"Because nobody wants Nerus to come back," Percy rolled his eyes.

... Oh boy, more people to torture!

"I dislike that you know that smile," Magnus groaned.

"It's the only way I've ever seen Mr. D smile," Percy shrugged.

... I wondered how he dressed the middle chest, since it had no arms.

"People of different backgrounds don't always like their routines on display Percy," Jason rolled his eyes at him.

"That cannot be comfortable getting through your average doorway," Magnus frowned at this bizarre theme of mismatching body parts Percy had been coming across. "Guess that open floor plan was on purpose."

... "Say Hello to Mr. Geryon."

"Oh, triple Geryon, I get it," Alex grinned. Magnus just sighed in defeat and said, "yeah, that tracks."

"I'm done," Thalia raised her hands in exasperation at these boys!

"Hi," I said. "Nice chests—uh, ranch! Nice ranch you have."

"Percy, breaking the rules in one sentence," Will chuckled. "You really are a wonder of your own."

"Thank you," Percy grinned.

...Nico di Angelo came out of the glass doors onto the porch.

Will sighed in relief, he'd already been imagining him trussed up in the basement with fire-breathing feral cats or something.

"Bathroom break," Alex nodded in understanding. "Everybody needs that during a monster chase."

"I got caught by Eurytion who told me I needed to come with him," Nico told them in exasperation. Eurytion had actually offered to just keep on driving, but, well, he'd happily let himself be taken hostage too just like Percy for his own reasons. Huh, he'd never expected to be like Percy in this random way. "I agreed because I'd heard of him and needed to speak about, negotiations," he finished lamely. Nobody pressed him for details, they'd gotten mildly better at suppressing that not to hassle Percy to much, but he could feel their simmering curiosity like milk ready to boil over.

...He froze when he saw us. Then he drew his sword.

"See, Nico's breaking the rules too," Percy said with an accusing finger at him like that was the important part of somebody drawing a sword on you.

"It's not a competition Percy," Will sighed, "and Annabeth already started it and won regardless before the quest kicked off."

... short, sharp, and dark as midnight.

Alex gave a very loud, longing sigh and flopped against the side of his couch as he gave Nico a hurt look.

"I don't see why you want to know how I got it so bad," Nico smiled at his theatrics. "You've never tried to find out how Annabeth or Grover got their reed pipes and knife."

"Oh, I will when I meet them," Alex promised. "I'm waiting to ambush Thalia about her shield when I can get a chance that doesn't involve her using it on me."

"If you jump out at me and scream boo, you will get a face full of Aegis," Thalia promised.

"See, bidding my time," Alex said with a very calculating look at Nico, who just chuckled.

..."Monster friends?" Grover said indignantly.

Magnus twiddled his fingers uncomfortably as he wondered how Grover was supposed to be classified.

"That man is wearing three shirts," Tyson said, like he was just realizing this.

"I'd love to meet Tyson just to see what he says about me," Jason chuckled.

"That man is to smart to be this dumb," Percy helpfully supplied.

"I would have told you what he first thought about you, but now you can forget it," Jason huffed.

"No, wait-" Percy began to splutter, but Thalia gave them both sharp smacks to their knees to pay attention.

"They let my sister die! They're here to kill me!"

"One of these things is not like the other," Percy said with a nervous chuckle.

"As opposed to a normal person, who would deny both claims," Alex said, framing his hands around Percy's face as if to capture such ineptitude.

Both Thalia and Percy winced hard, the guilt they felt in Bianca's sacrifice still very raw to be discussed.

"Sorry," Nico whispered again. "I know that was harsh, and not what happened now, and-"

"Nico, I don't blame you," Percy promised at once. If anything he still blamed himself plenty, prophecy be dammed. It was his idea Bianca had run off with. "You were just a kid, haven't you been listening? I really did just want to help!"

Nico gave him an understanding nod, but the dull feeling of pain from still being called a kid by him, the flash of nausea that raced through him when he still remembered what had come out of his mouth the last time he'd talked to Percy about this, and the ensuing pressure he still felt inside every time he heard his sister's name wasn't giving him a very eloquent response.

..."Don't speak her name! You're not worthy to even talk about her!"

"What's the level of worthiness?" Alex was the only one who dared keep talking to him right now in anything resembling a light tone. "Just trying to get a scale on that?"

A flash of anger did burn through him, that this wasn't a joke, but he knew Alex didn't mean it like that. He'd never talked about his sister, he didn't know how.

Silence was his answer, but Alex wasn't deterred. He'd just try another way.

"Wait a minute," Annabeth pointed at Geryon. "How do you know our names?"

"I really stopped questioning that when Medusa did," Magnus shook his head.

... put that ugly sword away before I have Eurytion take it form you."

"It's not ugly!" Will said with a loud, nervous chuckle, his hands fidgeting around making calming gestures at nobody in here. He kept tickling the hair on the back of Nico's neck, and yet he didn't really have the urge to swat him away.

"Don't worry Will, I don't lose it at every insult," Nico sighed. His need had trumped his grudge for Percy, for the moment. He hoped Bianca had been around watching and smiled at that, he was already trying to live up to her wish without even knowing it.

Eurytion sighed, but he hefted his spiked club.

"I'm getting feelings of discontent," Jason said, sharp eyes clearly wondering if they could play these two against each other.

"What a strange child of Ares," Thalia agreed pleasantly.

...I still remembered him as the cheerful little kid who played with Mythomagic cards.

Which hadn't changed much from the moment he'd been flung in here. Percy looked sharply away from him, his mind sucker punching him with guilt and memories he still hadn't tied together on how everything surrounding this kid seemed to have gone wrong.

Nico wanted to deny it. He wanted to summon an army of soldiers and dare anyone to call him weak and sad looking. He didn't want their pity!

But Will sighed, his arm across the back of the couch, his posture open, and exhausted. If Will had been talking to him this whole time out of some kind of pity, he couldn't find it. Alex tweaked his nose and gave him a knowing wink. The idea came across. 'I get it, life sucks.'

... You don't want to meet my helpers, I promise." "I believe you," I said.

"I really want you to hear what just happened Nico," Thalia chuckled. "This ding-dong has ignored gods, Chiron himself, and his mother every day of his life when she tells him to be safe. You, you he listened to without question."

"You mean putting the fear of death into you wouldn't work?" Percy rolled his eyes at her. He'd listened because he didn't want to try talking to Nico in front of these monsters and they needed to not kill each other until then.

Nico winced with guilt Percy had really believed that of him.

...I want to give you a tour of the ranch."

"Is there roasted peanuts involved?" Jason perked up at any mention of a tour.

"Athena set the bar to high," Magnus nodded, "I don't know how this guy is going to compete. I bet he won't even mention a snack bar."

...  embarrassed them to death riding around in the moo-mobile.

"You wouldn't believe how scary that thing can look popping up in the labyrinth," Nico scowled.

Magnus spluttered painfully as he tried to subdue a laugh, shaking his hands and gasping, "sorry! I believe you!" His face was turning red, he was probably signing to stay coherent like Nico actually understood that. "Just imaging that ghost getting freaked out by-" he had to stop and catch his breath.

Nico sighed and chuckled good-naturedly. Will even nodded beside him and said, "well I'm glad, I was worried you were dragged there kicking and screaming. This seems, less, um, bad?"

"I knew who Geryon was and wanted to make a deal," Nico nodded, not enlightening the others Minos had mentioned him as a potential ally. "I can't say I, regret, getting in," he sighed all the same his sister had finally shown up because of this mess. They'd saved a bunch of silly farm animals. There were worse outcomes that could have happened.

Nico sat in the very back, probably so he could keep an eye on us.

"The strategic move," Jason nodded.

"Hey," Percy frowned, "neither of us actually want the other dead!"

"If this wasn't a circular room I'd be staked out in the corner from you nutjobs," Jason smirked.

...began barking happily in two-part harmony.

Alex chuckled and very much wondered if he could turn into that dog. Oh the fun he could have.

..."Horses and cattle mostly, but all sorts of exotic varieties, too."

"Peacocks?" Magnus asked hopefully.

"Monster peacocks, now we're in business!" Alex agreed. "Oh, x-ray eyes! No, no, they look at you and expose the color of your aura!"

"I immediately regret this," Magnus sighed. For one glorious, childish moment the image of getting in one of those things had made him think of riding that with his mom at the zoo.

We came over a hill, and Annabeth gasped. "Hippalektryons?

"She always says these words with such confidence," Percy grinned. "I want to know where she finds the time to figure out how to say it in the first place while reading about the world."

"I bet she secretly has to practice clapping the syllables for weeks," Magnus offered. "Like dilophosaurus," he said from experience.

"A, dolphin dinosaur?" Percy asked, vaguely recognizing the name.

"It's the dinosaur that could spit poison!" Magnus grinned. "Fun fact, its been proved they actually couldn't do that, let alone had a frill!"

"Oh, how lame," Percy said. He'd loved the t-rex the most, and feared to much saying that out loud in case some god got a wise idea to sick one on his life.

I thought they were extinct!"

"I've only ever heard of them as actual made up animals too," Thalia grinned in surprise. "Like the lock-ness monster back then, used to scare kids into behaving."

"That's adorable," Jason chuckled. Thalia smiled, he probably wouldn't think it was so entertaining if he knew the real monsters that had haunted them as kids.

...a dozen of the weirdest animals I'd ever seen.

"You have clearly not been at the bottom of the ocean long enough to see a fangtooth fish. They live with dead eyes and you cannot convince me otherwise. Your dads kingdom makes ancient greek monsters look normal," Alex confessed.

Percy's brain flipflopped back and forth between the idea of a fish being scary and Alex knowing a fish he didn't before deciding on moving on.

... its rear bird legs putting a little hop in its step.

"That's adorable," Magnus couldn't help but agree with Will's little coo of excitement.

"I wonder if they're strong enough for Tyson to finally get that ride he wants," Percy nodded they weren't the craziest thing.

... "Gold is gold, darling. And you haven't tasted the omelettes."

"Oooh, yeah, I hate him," Alex said in way to calm a voice for someone who was clearly now planning at least one major crime.

Will nibbled on his lip as he tried to offer, "there's clearly some kind of good balance? Ah, he's helping an endangered species stay alive enough to breed at least, that's more than they're getting being extinct? Baby steps?"

"No Will," Alex said in that continued eerie voice. "You don't get to optimistic your way out of this one."

"Right, yeah, I'll get the lighter fluid," Will agreed, and not just because those would be awesome to have around camp.

... They're bred for war, naturally." "What war?" I asked.

"Any war," Jason gave him a strange look. "Sell those to some mortals and they'll just think they have a weirdly awesome murder horse that doesn't get hurt by flamethrowers." He had a funny feeling about this place. He was sure he'd never directly been, but something of this caused an annoying tick in his brain all the same.

"How about we not sit around discussing warfare," Thalia sighed. Considering camp was on the brink of one, it wasn't anyone's favorite subject right now.

... "Meat, of course! Armies have to eat."

"Ugh, okay, that's disgusting," Will shivered. That was like eating a piece of his dads car tire. How could someone stomach even the thought of wanting to do that?

"So it's not okay when it's related to your dad?" Alex challenged.

"They're not related to me, that's not what sacred means," Will sighed. "I'm of the opinion you can't stop the world from being evil so you should try to make peace," he defended himself. "I'm also of the opinion this place is lucky it isn't raining plague arrows right now and my dad would not be happy about this so we should absolutely intervene before the whole place is set on fire and all the cute animals suffer. More."

"A compromise I won't ignore," Alex nodded.

... "That's against ancient laws!"

"And clearly nothing bad has happened to him," Percy muttered, his mind still on Chiron's dire warning about how many people were on this quest.

Jason still looked a little grumpy nobody had dumped an ancient library on his head so he could be studying all of this in depth like a psychopath.

"Oh, don't get so worked up, satyr. They're just animals."

"Anybody who ever says that deserves to be fed to animals," Thalia shook her head in disgust. "You know who never says that! Farmers who actually care and understand the balance and the welfare of what an animal needs in life!"

"How many black market animal traders have you guys shish kabobed?" Alex asked eagerly.

"Quite a few," Thalia said proudly, popping the collar of her silver jacket. "Stories I will proudly share."

Alex actually began rubbing his hands in excitement.

... if Apollo cared, I'm sure he would tell us." "If he knew," I muttered.

"The fact that he doesn't know is kind of getting to me right now," Nico admitted.

"Welcome to my world," Jason agreed. He'd lost track of what the gods did and didn't know and he was about to start making a list just to satisfy his peace of mind.

...We had business to discuss, and this wasn't it!"

"You are now the definition of someone who needs to stop and smell the roses," Magnus told him sympathetically. He'd been living a hard life and needed some fun, like a cute animal ride through a nice farm. Just not this one.

"Hard pass," Nico turned his nose up just because of his stepmother though.

"All in good time, Mr. di Angelo. Look over here; some of my exotic game."

"You were half right last time on the birds," Alex grinned at Magnus. "Going to take another shot?"

"I couldn't guess what was in there in a million years," he reminded.

...The whole area was crawling with giant scorpions.

Causing the others to burst out laughing hard while Magnus threw his hands up in exasperation.

..."Short gray hair, muscular, swordsman?"

"Yeah."

..."Never heard of him," Geryon said.

"Uhhu," Jason frowned, "and I'm a child of Neptune."

"We look nothing alike," Percy looked around in confusion. "Thalia could pass that off better."

"Yeah, because that's the weird part of what I said," Jason snorted.

"Could you two stay on one topic for five seconds," Thalia sighed.

"Well it's not like we know any more about Geryon or Quintus from this," Jason sighed. "So he bought some scorpions from a questionable ranch. The guy obviously gets around and wanted to impress the camp with a cool monster, and this is the kind of guy, um, monster who would sell his grandma for a penny. I'm not sold on anything."

"I'm now concerned this is where he got Mrs. O'Leary from though," Alex frowned. "Does he have a puppy mill somewhere in the back I am not going to like?"

"Let's just wait and see how this plays out," Thalia said. She honestly didn't know, though Annabeth had promised this place was being run by Eurytion and it was much better now so she hadn't gone to visit herself when she heard these atrocities. She didn't want Percy thinking to much ahead and remembering that though, let alone any other details, so was more than happy to keep them moving along.

... Near the banks of a river was a horse corral the size of a football field.

Thalia smacked Percy with a very annoyed eye roll. "That field gets bigger every time this story gets told by the way. Last time I was around Camp, it was the size of Olympus."

Percy rubbed his arm with a confused smile. Hopefully all his friends hadn't died a very manly death on the dude ranch if it was a popular tale.

... It reeked like the garbage boats on the East River.

Jason gagged at just the thought and covered up his nose. Alex, Magnus, and Nico had woken up in the worst of smelling places and still couldn't come close to imagining how the stench of that must have been vomit inducing, eye watering, disgusting beyond all words.

"You haven't been involuntarily shoved into a bathroom in this one yet," Thalia was waving her hand in front of her face like the book was letting out such an odor now. "I hope there's one handy around."

For once Percy couldn't even be annoyed at them for making that joke, if anybody needed a massive toilet it was those poor creatures.

Even Nico gagged. "What is that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked, clearly hurt. "You think I go around sniffing corpses for fun?"

"You'd had this look on your face the whole time like I was about to start hacking pieces off of you," Percy said, a touch guilty, a little defensive. "Sorry to see you have a normal reaction to something."

He huffed and muttered but didn't protest further.

"My stables!" Geryon said. "Well, actually they belong to Aegas,

"Your shield owns horses?" Percy asked blankly.

"Aegas means cloaked, protection, and is most commonly associated with the word Zeus," Thalia shrugged.

"Oh, good, so it's not just Apollo whose prized animals are being mistreated. Equal opportunity and all that," Percy sighed.

..."Lots of poop," Tyson observed.

"The only takeaway we need from this place, as always, is delivered best by Tyson," Will sighed.

..."Y'all getting' on my nerves," Geryon said.

"Did he expect cheers and applause for these animals swimming in their own feces?" Magnus scowled. Horses he did like, and even if this was a pack of wolves, this was the definition of an inhumane environment.

"I hope he still does when I throw him in the nearest portapotty," Alex scowled.

"These are flesh-eating horses! They like these conditions."

"I'm not going to believe this guy," Magnus huffed. "Who knew a monster with three chests was heartless!"

Percy winced and gave him a strange look, but his vision went blurry and his headache didn't allow him a second of thought to wonder why.

... too cheap to have them cleaned," Eurytion mumbled. "Quiet!" Geryon snapped.

"Ooo, trouble in the dude paradise," Jason said with interest.

Percy let out a painful gasp and began rubbing at his forehead at that bouncing around his skull next, and Thalia placed a calming hand on his shoulder and a stern look at Magnus to finish.

... so what? My clients still pay me well."

"Anything for that bottom line huh?" Percy asked with enough disgust to have his own manure heap packed in.

...Great at birthday parties! We rent them out all the time."

"I find that very hard to believe, nobody would go near enough to this thing to be eaten by it, the way they smelled," Nico scoffed.

"Do monsters have birthday parties?" Magnus asked in surprise.

Alex doubled over laughing while Will grinned faintly in surprise. "I thought he meant mortal torture fests with kids mysteriously vanishing, but um, yeah Magnus, maybe."

"Monsters call in a celebration with beer and flesh-eating horses every time they come back?" Jason said ambiguously, with a very raised brow.

"I bet the invite list is really short notice," Percy chuckled along.

"I'll make it my mission to get on more," Thalia smirked, she and Percy high-fiving at the level of gatecrashing that would soon be involved if this was a thing.

"You're a monster," Annabeth decided... "What gave it away? Was it the three bodies?"

"I try to overlook minor things like that," Percy scowled. "It was his shitty personality!"

... looked like he was doing the wave all by himself.

Percy watched as those around him gave grudging laughs for that visual while their stomachs sank at finding an answer to a question they didn't have. Magnus had never sat around and assumed monsters needed to eat to stay alive like 'normal' animals and people, they just existed and chose to. Alex had sort of been assuming the Titan of Time could just make money appear at will for whatever he needed.

To hear that there was some kind of financial backer to all of this made it much more real, a new level to a threat they already had plenty of fear in without all of that.

...would've been a nice view, with the river and the trees and hills and all,

Jason raised a disbelieving brow at the mention of a river in sight. Percy had once nearly flooded his own camp with one after a tiff with Thalia, where was that temper drowning Geryon now at all of this? He found himself impressed Percy seemed to grow up a little more every book, find a little more self control in him.

...wasn't as sleepy as he looked. He hefted his club and walked after Nico.

"He could have at least left the club in the moo-machine," Will muttered, "you hadn't drawn your sword again."

Nico gave him a surprised smile, the sense of feeling his arm on the back of the couch had faded to a comfortable presence he was still getting used to.

..."Yes, you'll get a deal, all right."

"You haven't even told us how you were paying for the Happy Meals?" Alex asked. "How were you going to pay this guy for anything?"

"I was working on that," Nico said, doing well to keep the childish note out of his voice to hide he had no clue. He'd been basically making this up as he went along from Minos's outline.

...Why would I want you? Bianca's soul is worth a thousand of yours!

Percy startled in surprise, and then smiled of all things. "That is the best reason I've ever heard for someone not wanting my soul!"

"You're, welcome," Nico muttered in surprise. He still kept expecting Thalia to launch a thousand questions at him over what he was doing, somebody to scold him and be disgusted he'd been willing to do this at all.

For now, it was just Percy touching his chest and smiling, and that was enough to not feel rejected again.

...Geryon smiled. "I'm sure. Minos-

"Minos?" Five people yelped so loud it seemed to echo to the walls and back again several times. The only person who hadn't was Thalia, and she looked plenty displeased anyways.

"The evil eyed, pointy beard king who locks people up is your tour guide!" Alex's hands were clearly itching for his garotte. "He needs to be killed properly, stat! Then we'll find the dumbass who didn't kill him properly the first time and do them next!"

Percy had Riptide drawn, the cap of his pen dancing innocently on the floor between his shoes as he sat in place but still looked ready to stab something. "I can't believe you ran away from camp to take advice from-"

There was all that anger Nico had long since been expecting, and his hackles instantly raised. "I didn't ask your opinion on this, or need it thrown in my face! Can you not shut it and just get through this!"

Percy opened his mouth in outrage, he was upset Nico was being manipulated! But the tension of the water was already building around them, and only a gentle clearing of Thalia's throat needed to be heard for now to remind him to clench his jaw shut. This had already happened, and if Nico didn't want to hear his opinion on something, then he should probably accept that lest the kid blurt out any more life confessions as he slowly bent to put the cap of his pen back over his sword.

..."Well, you see, Nico, can I call you Nico?"

"No."

"You see, Nico,

"He needs to die. Like a lot," Alex scowled. He took nothing more personally than assholes who misgendered, misnamed, or bragged about being a douche.

"In more ways than you know," Nico said with a very satisfied smile for Alex, though neither of them spoke to loudly in case Percy took a hint as he scowled and still held his pen in hand like Minos was still creeping around in here.

Luke Castellan is offering very good money for halfbloods...

Will made such a deep throated noise it actually sounded like a growl. Kids shouldn't be sold around like cattle! And Nico was more than just a powerful bargaining chip!

Nico was already feeling bad for his outburst at Percy, and realizing Will was actually upset on his behalf too made him feel even worse. "Sorry, Percy," he offered, not expecting Percy to accept it. "I, um-"

"It's cool," Percy shrugged with not a chip in sight. "I'm glad you like me better than the creep who would actually sell your soul."

"It's a thin margin," he grinned faintly in surprise while Percy immediately smiled back.

... Orthus pounced on my chest and growled, his faces an inch away from mine.

Thalia's bow appeared in hand on instinct, no one in doubt she would have shot both of those heads without hesitation, and everyone in the room was starting to feel a little short of breath at all three of these guys finding themselves on edge. Their very presence overlapping each other made the molecules feel more volatile all of a sudden.

... he wrapped one huge arm around Nico and lifted him up like a wrestler.

Jason's hand clenched into such a tight fist it looked like his veins were spidery arcs trying to pop out of his arm. Like this maniac had no weapon except a weird gold coin and was willing to deck someone anyways. Magnus kept reading in the tense silence and hoped wanting to finish it wasn't a last-minute life goal as he shoved down his fight or flight instinct.

... "There's nothing I hate worse than Stygian Iron."

"So does that make it the absolute perfect weapon to kill him with?" Alex asked with could-not-fool a soul innocence. "Or are we supposed to find a way to kill him with money? I'm open to suggestions." The 'whatever it takes to get this guy dead,' went without saying.

"We can always start a list and just play around to see what works," Jason said in a very eerie kind of way, and Thalia's bow vanished as she looked at him in concern. She didn't disagree Geryon needed to die like any monster, but she did not like that cruel edge he got in his tone for it.

... I've been paid to give you safe passage, which does not include Mr. di Angelo.

"Paid by who?" Magnus yelped in surprise.

"Paid by whom?" Annabeth said.

"It's the correct grammar that really makes that sentence feel off," Magnus admitted, fighting off a grudging laugh.

"It's the fact that he's not going to answer that makes me not care," Percy scoffed.

"Well I sure do," Will's scowl seemed scarier the longer it lingered, all of the light in the room seemed to be sucking right towards him. "Who's paying for just some kids to get through and not all of them? Sorry Percy, you know I care about you, but I'm not okay with that!"

"Neither am I," Percy promised at once. "You really think I'll sit by and let that happen?" He asked casually, like he was asking Will what he had for lunch.

Will seemed mildly soothed by the reminder all the same, though the light went back to normal in the room with a little popping noise. Nico swallowed more shame and anger he'd needed help to get out of this. He'd survived in that labyrinth for months by himself. Percy had come around once, and he was back to being a useless kid.

..."Never you mind, darlin'.

Percy decided whatever bits he hacked Geryon into weren't small enough just for calling Annabeth that.

... "Geryon, you said you're a businessman. Make me a deal."

Percy always knew he was doing something right when everybody looked at him in surprise like that. He smiled and fought off the urge to gag at the stench of dog breath still hot in his face.

... "Don't do me any favors, Percy. I don't want your help!"

"You didn't have to do that," Nico said again, more confused than he even had been to Will before. "I, wouldn't have helped Luke. I would have gotten out on my own, I work fine on my own."

"I would have done it for anybody Nico," Percy gave him a bizarre look for saying that at all. "I don't try to help you just because I feel guilty about your sister. You know that, right?"

"Right, yeah, I'm um, getting that," Nico promised awkwardly. He'd spent so long being mad at Percy and then so long avoiding him and then stuck here for what felt like an infernal lifetime now he probably didn't have a choice at this rate but to get used to him.

... those stables haven't been cleaned in a thousand years!

"Hercules did it last time I believe," Will offered in some weird semblance of a peace offering and something nice to say while everybody was being held hostage now. "So it's not undoable."

"Great, let's see how I do a remix on that," Percy frowned anew, never pleased to hear his name again.

... "I'm going to take your friends back to the lodge. We'll wait for you there."

"Err," Magnus really hoped he was just missing something in what he'd just read. Was that whole swearing on the Styx thing required to be said out loud? Because he didn't think this hillbilly dude to be a man of his word.

Percy looked so agitated though he decided not to bring it up, considering nobody had lost an eardrum yet to this latest debacle.

Eurytion gave me a funny look. It might have been sympathy.

"If this comes down to a vote, at least he'll be on your side whether the law agrees or not," Jason said.

"Seriously dude, are you like, in pre lawyer school or something?" Percy burst out in surprised laughter.

"I like to consider myself a good judge of character and taking in the terrain," Jason grinned.

..."I hope you know what you're doing," Annabeth said. "I hope so, too."

"I hope so three," Thalia groaned. Here once again was Percy putting everything on the line in hopes he knew what he was doing. Good thing that always worked out or the world would be doomed.

...and the moo-mobile rumbled off down the trail.

"That is a weirdly menacing sentence," Magnus groaned as he began to hand the book to Alex. "I am sorry for laughing about that earlier Nico, and not just because Annabeth is in it now."

"Circumstances matter," Nico agreed nonchalantly.