I spend my life hiding from pain
But the truth is
It is what I crave
I crave pain as much as the day craves night
Pain reminds us we are alive
The only concrete feeling we have
So when I say I'm doing it
to make the pain go away
The truth is
I'm replacing pain with pain
My mental pain
Changes to physical pain
Because all I want in life
Is to know I'm alive
Is to be in pain
In a way that doesn't hurt
In a way that brings me relief
I cause myself physical pain
To get rid of mental pain
Because physical pain feels good
It numbs me
But mental pain
Hurts me
It drives me insane
I need pain