I was in the car and rain was pounding against the window. I had to squint to see in front of the car but even then I couldn't see much. I noticed the sound of light crying coming from next to me. She was sitting in the passenger seat with her head on the dashboard, tears streaming down her face and shaking slightly with her quiet sobs. I looked back to the road not knowing what to say and sat in near silence with the occasional sob breaking it. I didn't know exactly why she was crying but deep inside I felt horrible like it was my fault, I just knew the pain was because of me. I wanted to say something to comfort the pain but I thought that it would only make it worse so I just sat in silence and kept my eyes on the road while letting my mind wander and search for what I could've done wrong to have caused this.
Suddenly the crying stopped and she broke the silence and said, "It's so lonely without you here."
I kept my eyes focused on the road and searched my mind for some words to say but I couldn't think of any. "Why did you have to leave us here?"
I looked to my side and she was looking up at me with tear-filled eyes and I felt a lump in my throat as I couldn't stop myself from crying too. "I'm so sorry, I really am. I tried, I did everything I could. I promise"
"I know you did sweetie but it wasn't enough." she whispered to me in her sweet voice.
"If I could go back I would've called an ambulance or-" She cut me off
"You can't go back, what matters is what you do now. You ruined the amazing life we could've had so what matters now is what you do from here. I'm not mad at you for what you did, I just miss you."
With the combination of my tear-soaked eyes and soaked windshield, I couldn't see the two cars on the road before it was too late. I tried to hit the brakes but the car spun and started to flip. I looked towards her and she whispered, "Please find me." As the car made contact with the ground.
Before I could feel the impact of the car I shot awake in my bed again. The words she whispered now echoed in my head as I got out of my bed and looked outside. It was night now and the sky was cloudy and covered the moon leaving the whole world bathed in a depressing dark gray. I walked into the living room to feed and water my cat, though this time I gave him extra food and water along with a couple of his favorite treats. The feeling of being watched was still there the entire time as I walked into the kitchen where the cupboard full of different failed medications was and grabbed a few bottles of the ones with the most warnings on them. I set them on the counter and then found a piece of paper where I wrote that whoever took care of my cat could have everything of mine that they wanted including my money as long as they took good care of my cat.
I walked into my room with a large glass of water and the pill bottles of past medications and sat down on my bed contemplating if what I was doing was a good idea. I would miss my cat, but even though I loved him, I missed her more. I felt the feeling of being watched even stronger now and felt a presence right behind me. I realized all of this time there had been one of those creatures following me but I just couldn't see it. All of this time I felt special but I was just ignorant to the fact that I was no different than anyone else and I was bound to die too. It felt close to me like it was anticipating my next move and I could feel that it was probably some warped version of excitement for me to end it all. I looked at the pill bottles on my bed and her words echoed through my head, "Please find me."
I thought about the possibility of living a life without these pills and trying to move on, but in the end, how could one live with this knowledge?