I walk through the back door into the kitchen.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The fucking tap is leaking.
Peter must be laughing at me right now.

~

My hands were covered in grease.
I could feel some on my cheek.
We'd just moved in to the new house and I was five months pregnant.
I was also determined to fix the sink while Peter tried to convince me to hire a plumber.

"I'm independent, Peter. I don't need a man to fix this for me."
"Yes, baby, I know, but this isn't a feminist issue, it's a you issue in that you can't fix shit."

I called the plumber.

~

The living room is dark.
The blinds are shut and the TV is off.
I can't remember a time it was ever like this.

~

"You're a vampire, Fliss," Peter claimed affectionately while he whipped open the curtains and turned on the television.
I squinted at the light with my laptop in front of me.
"The sun will do you good."
He kissed my forehead before he headed to work.

~

Cherry's room is at the base of the stairs.
It calls to me.
I slowly open the door and take a deep breath.
Just how she left it.
Toys scattered and bed unmade.
A dozen stuffed unicorns on the comforter.

I look at the red walls and smile.

~

"They have to be cherry like me!" my little girl demanded in the middle of the paint sample aisle.
I chuckled softly and crouched down to her eye line.
"Then pick a colour, darling."

We painted those walls together.
I told her about her name.
She was truly Abigail, but when she was born and we saw her cherry red face, Peter and I started calling her that and decided it to be her legal middle name.

Abigail Cherry Rivera-Clark.
"I'm a feminist, too," Peter said with his hands on his hips. "Mama's last name first."

~

Up the stairs is our—my—bedroom.
I haven't slept in there since the night before they died.
The last time I slept in my bed, was with Peter beside me.

I slip off the black dress and pull one of his shirts from the dresser.
I take a deep breath because I know his smell will fade.
I want to remember it as long as I can.

Curling into the cotton sheets, tears escape me.
I haven't cried in days.
Barely thought I had any tears left.

Rolling over, I face his pillow.
Holding it tight in my arms,
I dream of him and Cherry.

~

I was seven months pregnant and on bed rest.
Days went by.
Belly kisses.
Playing scrabble on the bed.
Foot massages.

As nice as the time with Peter was,
I was growing tired of lying in bed.

"When is she coming out?" I groaned.
Peter stared at me with wide eyes.
I asked what was the matter.

"...she?"
I clapped my hands over my mouth, apologizing profusely.

"I had to know, baby, I'm so sorry—"
"No, Fliss," he chuckled, grabbing my hands, "We're having a girl."

I smiled widely at him.
"Yes, we are."

ya girl is back lol okay i just have to finish parts 6 and 8 then im done! and it is 10 parts. proud :)