Reece Speaks: Dating "Poor" People

So this is something that we all have heard about and I really don't know why some people have to judge others on how rich they are. I'm not rich or poor but I wouldn't mind dating a girl who's struggling a bit as long as her personality is cool then I'm good.

So anyway a year back or so at university, there was this one girl who somehow thought that I was "poor" and made that one of the reasons why she didn't want to date me! I have no idea where she came up with that considering I don't dress up like a hobo or anything but I guess around my friends I am a cheap ass motherfucker.

I only found out about this a few months later so I decided to confront her about it. In my head the conversation went something like this:

Me: Yo, girl! What's your problem? I ain't poor! (Extremely hot yet aggressive facial expression)

Girl: Well you're like poor and stuff.

Me: Pssssssssssssht! What-eva!

And suddenly I'll jump into my non-existent Ferrari and drive off into the sunset.

However, here's what really happened:

Me: Hey uh Jon told me that you didn't want to go out with me because I'm poor?

Girl: Yup.

Me: Oh... uhm...

Girl: K bye! (She actually said "I have class now" but I thought "K bye" is more effective)

I didn't have the energy to tell her I wasn't actually a homeless person and she was a stupid moron for believing it. Although the hilarious part was that she worked as a waiter for a restaurant.

So with that, one year later I decide to prank call her at the restaurant. Please note that I had to call this restaurant like 8 times just to speak to Gina. The first time I called it was hilarious! However since it didn't fit in with this chapter, we decided to make a new book JUST FOR PRANKS. It's coming out soon, I promise!

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*Ring ring*

Chinese Woman: Herro?

Reece: Yo, Gina still busy? (I already spoke to this lady before and it was really funny, that conversation will be in the new book)

Chinese Woman: Yoo keep wanting Gina, Gina, Gina! (She got really annoyed with me, haha)

Reece: Is she busy or not, homedawg?

Chinese Woman: *Scoffs* Ah peece hold.

*In the background she screams for Gina*

Gina: Hello?

Reece: Sup. This is Johnson.

Johnson is my friend who threw a party last week and I heard Gina was there. She's quite the clubber and that's why she went. Apparently she was fucking drunk there. Johnson also said that she never speak to him at all in the past but just rocked up at his party like a gangsta.

Gina: Oh hey! How are you?

Reece: Good. Listen you left some of your... uh stuff in my bathroom and I wanted to know when you were going to pick it up.

Gina: Uh... what-what-what did I leave?

Reece: Uhm haha... uhm. Vaginal cleanser.

Gina: What? That's not mine.

Reece: A couple of my boys said you pulled it out from your purse and like started to use it as a sword. (HAHA)

Gina: Are you joking?

Reece: I fucking wish I was. My mom saw the vaginal cleanser and she thought it was mine. (Why would any mother think that about her SON?)

Gina: Oh my word! Someone must have given it to me while I was drunk as a joke!

Reece: Or after you slept with Jason.

Gina: What? Why?

Reece: You know, cos Jason has gonorrhea and shit.

Gina: What? (If you're scared of STD'S then maybe don't sleep around??)

Reece: Oh you didn't know? Didn't you get like that burning feeling after you slept with him? (I'm talking shit here; I don't even know the symptoms of it)

*She keeps quiet*

Reece: It's okay, I also got that after I slept with him. (LOL WAT?)

Gina: Huh?

Reece: Uhm he's bisexual, DUH! (Again another one who doesn't realize this is a prank)

Gina: Oh my Gawwwwd.

Reece: Uh yeah so I kinda used your vaginal cleanser... to wash my you know tra la la ding dong.

Gina: Are you serious about the gonrah? (LOL, she can't even pronounce gonorrhea properly)

Reece: Yeah and once you get Gonrah you DIE! DIE DIE DIE! (I say that in a high pitched voice)

Gina: Oh my gawd!

Reece: SHIT!

Gina: You-you sure?

Reece: Your vaginal cleanser turns me on. (Vote up for being turned on by vaginal cleanser?)

Gina: Are you sure that he has Gonrah? (Lol she doesn't even pay attention to the fact I just said her vaginal cleanser turned me on.)

Reece: Yeah! Doesn't your pee burn?

Gina: Now that I think of it, it does. (Whaaaaaat? LOL)

Reece: Rub some ice good on there!

*Dead line*

I felt bad so I phoned her back, haha.

*Rinnng Rinnng*

Chinese Woman: Herro.

Reece: Put Gina on! HURRY UP! (Lol, she was so sick of me phoning now)

*She calls for Gina*

Gina: What?

Reece: I was just playing with you by the way.

She starts to swear me so badly, it's hilarious!

Gina: You f*cking son of a f*cking b*tch! How can you call my workplace and do this! What the f*ck Johnson!

Reece: *Laughs*

Gina: You're f*cking sick! Seriously!

I pull a Roger and I start to randomly quote songs now.

Reece: I just called to say I love you. (Stevie Wonder I think)

Gina: F*ck you Johnson!

Reece: When you left I lost a part of me, is that so hard to believe? (Mariah Carey)

Gina: What the f*ck! You're a f*cking crack head!

Reece: My my my my my, you're like pelican fly. (Nicki Minaj)
Reece: Do you have a small penaynay?
Reece: Do you huh?

Gina: F*ck you! I hope you die!

*Dead line*

I call her again on her cellphone.

*Ring ring*

Gina: Hello.

Reece: Come back baby please because we belong together!

Gina: F*ck you, you f*cking stalker! I f*cking hate you! You're a c*cksucker! I'll f*cking tell everybody!

Reece: I'm so scared! Ooooooh.

Gina: I hope you die! Hope you burn in hell! F*cking a$$hole!

Reece: Your vaginal cleanser is still here.

She goes crazy now and starts shouting on the phone. I don't know what to say here because I'm literally in tears laughing.

Gina: YOU F*CKING SON OF F*CKING BITCH! I'M GOING TO F*CKING REPORT YOU TO THE POLICE!

Reece: *Laughs* They're going to lock me and my vaginal cleanser up?

Gina: YOU STUPID MOTHERF*CKING C*NT! JUST LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE! YOU'RE SUCH A PU*$Y!

Reece: I have vaginal cleanser for it though.

Gina: SCREW YOU! YOU FUCKING LIL B*TCH!!!!

*Dean line*

Reece: *Laughs* Oh my word! I never have gotten sworn that bad in my life! Hahaha.

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Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed that. It was so fun pranking people haha. Anyway please vote, comment, fan... same old same old.

And don't forget to read our new book when it's out: Just for Pranks

Also like our page on Facebook! I'll post up short pranks there as well! (Click the external link to thr right!)

Reece