Jisoo's POV: (yes, im going there)

We had never been through anything like this.

After Lisa's relationship was exposed by Sehun this week hell broke lose.

Our company, JYP and BigHit were joining forces to fight SM because of the whole black-mailing that happened to Tzuyu and because of how they didn't control their artist and let him do this to us, Twice and to BTS, even though they are being protected by their massive international fanbase.

Right after the photos came out, our companies made it clear about who and in what context had those photos been taken.

They had nothing to lose anymore so they took the opportunity and told the whole story, except the part where Lisa dated Sehun. They changed the story into him showing interest in her and becoming obsessive from there, to protect her from more hate.

The public was outraged, it was the scandal of the decade. Everyone in this country knew what was going on.

As a result, we can expect the downfall of the EXO member soon and maybe even EXO as a whole which is very sad because the rest of the boys are not to blame for this and probably had no idea.

And of course, Lisa and Tzuyu were being targeted with criticism and hate comments. Especially Tzuyu for drinking.

And as concerned as I was for her, I was more worried sick for my member who was not taking everything lightly.

I'm not saying Lisa is not strong because she really is, but you can see how much the hate is bringing her down which was expected.

Korean Armys did not take the news well and the only support she got was from the international part of the fanbase, but it was still a lot of mean comments and some blinks were also leaving us.

All because she fell in love.

I've lost count of how many times she has apologized to us and cried after coming across some articles. She thought she had ruined Blackpink and felt guilty.

We all did our best to comfort her. Both Jungkook and us. Even Sorn has come to our apartment to hang out with her and make her forget about what was happening.

But it was hard. Seeing everyone so sad and stressed.

Since Lisa was going through a bad time, Chaeyoung too was affected. She is a very sensitive girl who hates to see her friends suffer and ends up feeling their pain too.

And Jennie, she tried her best to appear strong as always, but you could see how equally worried she was for our youngest sister.

So it all fell on me. The oldest. The unofficial leader of Blackpink. The one they usually turn to when they feel down.

But I too felt helpless.

I didn't know what to do as the older sister. Nothing I could do would make the situation better. I worried for Blackpink's future but I would never blame Lisa for what's happening.

We had never been through such a dark time and I had no idea how to deal with it. Namjoon and Jin oppa tried helping me once, during their usual visits to our dorm lately.

I told them how I felt, but they also had no idea  on how to deal with something of this magnitude as BTS had never been through this themselves and Jungkook was not getting as much hate as Lisa.

Misogynistic fucks, is what k-nets are.

But it felt good to talk to them. They made me become more assured that we could go through this. To not put so much pressure on myself and try to move on while still being there for my sisters.

So that's what I was doing right now.

After a talk with YG sajangnim, we had decided that I would keep MCing for Inkigayo despite the scandal. That we would not give up. Blackpink house is also not to be cancelled.

It's a move that it's supposed to show that we are here to stay, even with what's going on.

But that didn't mean it was easy.

Having blinks in the live show's audience was common. Not many as it is also supposed for the fans of the groups that are performing. But some.

But there were less of them there today. And I couldn't hide it. I was hurt.

I was thankful for the ones that showed up though. Support me and the girls even through something like this.

It had been without a doubt one of the hardest things I had ever done. Showing up in public so shortly after something like this hit our fanbase and me knowing it had. Putting mysef up for comments even more than usual.

It was expected but it still hurt.

And I was more than glad it was over.

I was now in my dressing room, surrounded by my hair stylists who were undoing my hair from the style they had chosen for me that day.

I had also already changed into my own clothes instead of the outfit that had been given to me.

"Jisoo, I'll be waiting in the parking lot, okay? We don't have to stop to greet the fans today if you don't feel comfortable doing so." Our manager spoke, coming into the room.

"Okay but no, oppa, I want to. I want to thank the ones who came." I replied back, getting a nod as a response.

And with that he left the room.

It didn't take too long for my stylists to leave as well, myself being the only one left in the room.

And it felt good. To finally be able to be alone.

At home I have been almost always with at least one of my members, catering to what they need emotionally, but now, I had time to do it myself.

To digest what was going on in my life. To think about what comes next.

I felt like crying. But I didn't because that's not usual of me. It was like the tears couldn't leave my body as much as I wanted to.

So I stood there, looking at myself in the mirror but look at nothing at the same time. Completely oblivious to the rest of the world around me.

That was until I heard a knock on the door.

Manager Oppa must have forgotten something before going into the car.

"Yes." I replied, weakly, recomposing myself from my previous state.

The door opened to reveal my co-host, Park Jinyoung, still dressed in our matching outfit from the show, looking as handsome as ever.

"Hi." I greeted standing up to meet him, my heart being faster than it should.

Jisoo, you really have to work on that.

Our friendship had become deeper without us noticing, we even called each other every once in a while.

And sometimes there were awkward silences, like we didn't know what to say to each other.

Just admit you like your co-worker, Jisoo, stop trying to find excuses. He is nice, funny and handsome and that's why you do.

"Hi, I just wanted to pass by to see how you were doing. I know things haven't been going great for you and your group." He said, closing the door behind him due to the sensitivity of the topic.

I felt my heart beating even faster than before, as if it was about to jump right off my chest.

Calm down, he is just worried for you and your group. He is friends with Bangtan, it's normal.

Well that's the thing. He is worried for me, and that made me nervous as fuck.

"Oh, thank you. I'm fine, I guess. It's hard but we have to stay strong." I replied faintly, adding a smile.

I am lying. I am completely aware of it. I'm far from okay. I have no idea of what to do nowadays.

"You are not okay, and you don't need to pretend that you are right now." He said back
coming closer to me.

Did he-did he just read me?

I looked down for a while, my heart beating as fast as it could, I hadn't been this nervous since our debut stage.

Should I just tell him about how much I am struggling or just keep quite?

But it was like my body was on auto-pilot, I sat down on the dressing room's couch with a sigh before starting to talk.

"Is it really that noticeable?" I asked, finally dropping my fake smile.

"No, only to me. You are really good at hiding it but I didn't buy it. I don't know, it's like your smiles aren't as genuine as before." He confessed, looking straight into my eyes.

Here he goes again with making me flustered.

Jisoo, calm down he is just being friendly. He knows you are going through a lot and wants to know if you are okay.

I looked at the floor for a couple more of seconds.

Nah, friends don't talk or look at each other that way.

"I-...I just...I don't know how to deal with everything and how to help my members. Especially Lisa. I feel useless as the older." I confessed, not daring to look at him as he sat next to me.

"Yeah, Bambam told me she is not okay at all. He is also worried. But...you know, that's expected of someone going through all the hate that she is. It doesn't make you a bad older member just because you can't make her happy and bubbly on command. She is just dealing with it on her own hard way. Maybe there's nothing you can do, just give her space." He comforted me.

He sounded so sincere and worried. It wasn't like he was pretending to listen to me and my problems. He seemed to genuinely wanting to know what was on my mind and that made me all giddy, which made me smile. An actual smile and not one the of the fake ones I've been putting on.

"I know, but I can't help but feel helpless. I try to stay strong for them but it's hard." I told him, looking up for the first time since I sat down.

A couple of seconds passed till he spoke, "You know you can talk to me right?"

He sounded nervous, as if he wasn't sure that wasn't a good thing to say.

"I know." I awkwardly responded.

And there they were again.

The awkward silences.

We were just looking at each other at this point, not saying anything and not doing anything. These are becoming more and more frequent and I can't say that I'm indifferent to them.

I wish I had the guts to tell him how I felt.

But I'm scared. Scared of rejection and scared of how it will affect our professional relationship. I can't let that be tainted, we are doing so well together with Doyoung.

And especially, Blackpink isn't exactly in terms of having another one of us dating.

But I can't help how I feel, it's not like I chose when to like someone and after that time Lisa teased me about it when I ran into her and Jungkook on her bed, I started to think about how I actually feel.

It was something I had never thought about. All I knew was that I would get flustered every time we were together just the two of us and that the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't calm down.

Like now.

We kept looking at each other, his expression soft as he looked at me.

Maybe I should just go for it. End this awkwardness around us. Understand what this is about or if I'm just seeing things. Just get rid of this uncomfortable atmosphere between us. Deal with whatever comes after. One less worry in my head.

"Jinyoung-" I start before I got cut off.

Cut off by something I wasn't expecting at all.

Him kissing me and somehow I was kissing him back almost instantly. Was I really that desperate for it?

I guess that is better than me speaking.

Our lips kept moving against each other, the butterflies in my stomach looking more like elephants but at the same time so relaxing and good.

He kissed me, my mind started to process.

We got closer to each other, my hands resting on his neck as his grabbed my face softly, the kiss being slow and caring instead of intense.

And at last, he finally pulled away. A smile in his face.

"I know this really isn't the best moment to do this due to what is happening but I just...I don't know...I've been waiting for right the moment but I guess I don't know how to pick." He started all shy but I interrupted him by kissing him again but much more briefly than the previous one.

I pulled away smiling.

It's like life has something good again. I no longer feel unmotivated but hopeful instead. The agony I was feeling was not gone, but lighter.

The awkward cloud that was over us was finally gone.

"I'll take that as an I like you too?" He asked also smiling.

To which I replied using the same expression, my face showing a soft shy smile, "Yes, I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how. I was afraid you would reject me"

The smile didn't leave his face, "Well now I guess you know I wouldn't."

Okay we like each other. Now what?

I'm scared, it's not as simple as that. I don't want to make him wait for me. He will get tired of it but I also don't know if we can just start to date with everything going on.

My members and our careers are on the line right now. I can't be selfish, but somehow...I want to. I want to be with him and have his support.

"What do we do now?" I asked my co-worker turned lover.

His expression changed together with mine. From happy to worried. He knew what I was thinking. What the hell was I to do in the situation I'm in.

"Jisoo, I don't want to pressure you into anything after everything you and blackpink are going through. I understand if you aren't ready." He explained.

He is being too sweet, I can't do that to him. It's not fair. He deserves to be with someone who loves him and not waiting for me to be ready.

"I can't do that to you, Jinyoung, it's not fair and...I kind of need you right now." I confessed

It's true, I do need him. He was the only one that listened to me and made me genuinely smile afterwards. The one who uplifted my spirit when I was at my lowest 10 minutes ago.

"If you want let's keep it between us then. For now. We will tell our members as soon as the scandal subsides but for now let's keep it private. That way no one will bother you and I'll be here, okay? We can still meet whenever we want, so don't worry" He told me while caressing my cheek.

I was in awe at his dedication. It meant so much to me and I was so happy to have him by my side.

"Thank you." I simply said before resting my head on his shoulders to which he replied by full on hugging me.

"We are going to be okay." He responded before shutting up. Both of us staying there, just enjoying the moment.

Yes, we are going to be okay.

___________________________

So this is extra long and extremely different from the usual.

I know most of you all also like jinsoo but I feel like having the 4 blackpink members dating or crushing in the same group is too unrealistic so I switched up a little bit, i hope you dont mind.

Don't forget to tell me your thoughts in the comment and to vote! I love you all very much, thank you for the support!