Roxi's POV

I stirred slowly when I felt someone touch my hair.

I felt the hand withdraw almost immediately and I heard silent footsteps as though someone was tiptoeing away from the bed.

The hospital bed.

I wanted to open my eyes fully,to get a clear view of who it was but my eyelids felt heavy and before I could help myself,I felt them shut close again. But before they shut completely, I caught a glance at a very familiar pair of Louis Vuitton shoes walking away from the bed.

I would know. I bought them.

I don't know how long I slept afterwards but when I woke up in the morning, the shoes were gone.... And now replaced by a pair of brown leather work shoes belonging to a man in a lab coat whose back I'd gotten used to seeing in the past few hours.

I moaned as I tried to sit up from the bed,causing him to glance back. I ran a hand through my hair and then sighed.

"Good morning." I greeted.

He nodded in response and then picked up his tray.

Odd..

"You look better." He stated. I nodded.

"I feel better." I told him as he stopped in front of me and dropped the tray on the bed. I watched him pick up some cotton wool and drench it in spirit.

I wondered how long he'd been here.

"I'm going to need to draw some blood if that's okay with you." He told me. He was avoiding eye contact and even though I didn't want to get ahead of myself, I wondered if it was about what what said last night.

About being in love with Will.

I nodded and with that he let out a shaky breath and I watched him..... just watched him with nothing particular going through my head. I felt like I was supposed to say something but I didn't know what.

"Will told me." He said after a few moments of awkward silence, throwing me completely off guard. I raised an eyebrow and for the first time this morning,his gaze met mine. "About why you got married to him." He continued.

I felt my heart skip a beat,and then another. I pulled my gaze away feeling heat crawl up my cheeks.

I was so embarrassed.

"You should have told me." He said after a few seconds. I swallowed hard and then pushed a few strands of hair away from my face,trying hard to fight the tears making its way to my eyes.

"What was I supposed to say?" I raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry Richard, I can't do this anymore. My fathers dying and I'm getting married to Will Olsen to save his life?"

"Anything would have been fine." He dropped both eyebrows. It was surprising he was being so calm.... Will would have snapped by now.

Then I remembered that he wasn't Will.

"Anything would have been better than silence,Roxi." He shook his head. "Anything would have been better than saying that you didn't love me anymore--" He shook his head and then exhaled. "Because I tried to understand." He paused. "I tried to understand how you could unlove me so quickly because I thought--" He paused and then smiled thinly. "I thought that we were forever." His voice broke and I felt tears cloud my vision. I clasped my hands tightly against each other and buried my gaze on what I was doing with my hands. Because I knew how much I had hurt him and at that moment, I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"I don't-" I swallowed to find my voice. "I don't know what to say,Rick." I said,chocking back a sob.

"You said you wondered what it would be like to leave." He said suddenly, causing me to glance up into his deep blue eyes. But even at that moment, all I saw was Will.

And when it dawned on me how very physically similar they both were,reality set in and I immediately hated myself.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding as Richard reached for my hand. My eyes followed the movement as he slowly pulled my hands away from each other. His eyes followed my gaze too.

"You said you wondered what it would be like to leave everything behind and just go away." His eyes searched mine, filled with sincerity and something else.

It was evident in the way that he looked at me but I refused to allow myself see it.

"Let's do that. Right now. Say the word and I will get you out of here." He swallowed. I gasped, feeling tears fill my eyes. I placed a hand over my stomach and then drew in a deep breath. "Roxi,I am in love with you." He said,almost in a whisper this time. I shut my eyes and then shook my head.

"Its been six years, Rick--"

"I know that." He cut me off before I could complete my statement. "I know that, and I am in love with you. Always have. And it probably won't ever go away." His voice broke. He shut his eyes and then raked his hands through his hair.

"Rick, I am pregnant with his child!" I sobbed. "And I am married to him." I told him. I knew that I was supposed to get my shit together. To be tough. Not show any vulnerabilities. But I also knew that I was about to hurt him.

And that hurt me.

No matter how much had changed in the past fourteen years, Richard was my first love.
And a part of me knew that nobody could ever love me like he did.

He pursed his lip and then glanced up at the ceiling. I glanced at him when he finally looked at me again,my eyes glistened with tears,literally begging him not to push any further. He sniffed and then faked a smile.

"What changed Roxi?" He raised an eyebrow, his voice low and subtle. His gaze was glued to the ground as though he was prepared to hear the worst. I glanced down at our joined hands and I knew deep down that if I answered, our hands would be the only things holding us together.

I knew that once he let go this time,it would be forever.

I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled,feeling a tear drop roll down my cheek.

"I love you, Richard." I breathed softly. "I still do. And I-" I drew in a deep breath,my words seemingly caught in my throat. He nodded and then pouted, waiting patiently for me to say something.... For me to say more.

"I don't want you to ever think that I didn't.... Or that I don't." My voice broke and I felt him tense.

"So what changed?" He asked again.

"We're not sixteen anymore,Rick-"

"What changed?" He cut me off.

"Everything changed!" I raised my voice a little even if I didn't need to. "Everything changed, Rick. You're not-" I paused and then shut my eyes, reminiscing what I was about to say next. "You're not him." I added almost in a whisper. I opened my eyes and then ran my fingers through my hair.

God knew I would have done anything to be somebody else right now.

He looked up at the ceiling almost immediately and then closed his eyes as though he was trying to let the words sink in. I felt a slight pull in my chest but I just watched him,knowing that nothing I would ever say would undo what I just said.

For a few seconds,he held unto my hands tightly like his life depended on it. It hurt like crazy but I didn't say a word. I just watched him,silently hating myself for making him this way.

After a moment,he slowly released his grip and then slowly opened his eyes.

His eyes were filled with so much hurt.....so much pain.

"I'm--" He started and then cleared his throat. "He said that if being with me would make you happy, that if going away with me would make you finally be able to look at him again somehow then--" He paused and then drew in a deep breath. He lowered his eyebrows while I narrowed mine in confusion, trying to understand what he was talking about.

"For some reason,he-" I watched him pause and then flicked his tongue over his lip. "Roxi,he thought that you only came here because I--because you--" He paused and then sighed. I could tell that it was was hard for him to let go of whatever he had to say...

And then it hit me.

Will....

He was here last night...

"Go to your husband,Roxi." He pursed his lip. "He'll be glad to see you." He added slowly and then let go of my hand. Slowly, hesitantly. He faked a smile and then picked up his tray.

"Rick-" I called slowly. Even though I was being selfish,I didn't want this to be the end of the road for us and as if he read my mind,he leaned forward and then kissed my forehead.

"I love you, Roxi. That hasn't changed." He said silently and then walked away.

I watched him leave and then rubbed my hand against my trousers.

I had to find Will.

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