Entry 04

Every day I wake up to it, the faint whimpers. It goes on and on with no end to it and I am losing my sanity bit by bit, each day. 

The whimpers are constant, low and raspy voices echoing around, emanating from someone who seems to be in a lot of pain, choking perhaps.

It first started after Summer Break, I heard in the hallway of my university, I looked around to check if someone was hurt or anything but all I could see was the constant rush of people my age, giggling, laughing, talking. Nothing odd, well except for the voices, of course. They soon started appearing everywhere, in the classes, in my room, on the road, at the movies, in parties, every single place that I went to.

Entry 05

It became so consistent that I should've gotten used to them by now but I'm getting more and more affected by them as more time passes along. No matter how loud I kept my music, they would seep through and buzz around my head like an annoying fly that just won't let you have peace.

Nowadays, I sleep all day and night to run from it, it's the only way I can get away from the voice of despair that is making me go mad. Of course I didn't tell about them to anyone.

Entry 06

I had told my Mom the third day, but she brushed it off as my imagination. The next time I brought up the topic, she just left for work, muttering some reassuring words distastefully before slamming the door shut. She never had the time to think about this, to think about me. It had been that way from the start, and though I said that I completely understood her situation and supported her, somewhere I wanted her to bake me some cookies and play hide and seek with me, maybe just brush my hair.

And my friends would laugh it off, tell me to forget it and be that cheery girl again. And I would listen to them and retain that persona of mine. After all, a smile is panacea...isn't it?

One even said that it might be the memories of a painful event in the past that are resurfacing in my mind, my father's death, my molestation, the bullying, the period of horrible self-esteem...

I laughed that off, what good is it thinking about those things all over again, it would be harder to cover up the emotions this time. So I said it was my imagination and took off.

But this isn't my imagination, this isn't some memory, I can hear it crystal clear, a voice of despair, endless, tireless, pained. 

Entry 07

It has started to get destructive now, I stop responding for a couple of seconds at times when the whimpers get louder. It is okay at time when I'm sitting in the lecture, all I get then is some scolding from the Professor, but other times are not so lucky.

Once, I was cooking some eggs when I fell limp, all sensation drawn away from my body, the whimpers echoing through my head louder than ever, not once observing that my hand had fell beside the pan, my fingers stretched out into the flame. Only when I got out of my trance did I start screaming and crying in pain.

Can someone help? Can someone tell me what to do about this?

Entries end here.

TELEVISION BROADCAST

"Ma'am, I'm very sorry for what happened to your daughter, and very thankful that you're here with us today for your special message for all of us. Welcome..."

"Thank you, dear. I won't take up much time of the youth and keep it short, I'm sure you must've heard her story before the accident already so I'll tell you exactly what I'm here for." She carries on with a heavy sigh and a plain expression.

"When I came out of the store I was unfortunate enough to see my 19 year old daughter seated in the car get hit horribly by an oncoming truck. The collision was so severe that both her eardrums burst instantly, half of her ribs crushed at the spot and blood spilling everywhere. I knelt down before her, tears welled up and heard her whimpers, low and raspy but constant, ringing through my ears." She stops for a moment and wipes off a tear from her cheek noiselessly, then goes on.

"I cried as someone called the ambulance, mostly because I knew she wouldn't make it, and bent down as close as I could to look into her eyes for the final time. She opened her mouth with effort and two words floated out, half whimpers and filled my ears "Save me...". I started weeping  at this, unable to help my little girl, but my mind quickly joined the dots together as a peaceful smile spread across her face as the whimpers continued to escape her lips, still inside her head, like they always were..."

"My daughter couldn't let the pain out, she couldn't trust anyone who would understand her misery and wipe at her tears, but to anyone out there whom it concerns, please don't trap the pain inside. I know you're afraid of unveiling it, but find someone, find yourself and cry it out, scream it out, let it out. Don't let these things hold you back from moving on. Victim, assailant, wrongdoer, bearer, whoever you may be, it's okay to let it out, otherwise these whimpers of yours will eat you alive."

"I'm here to listen, someone's always there. Cry with me, cry to yourself, vent it out, but don't put the weight on your shoulders and carry it, or these voices will forever haunt you..." She smiles before the screen goes blank.

A/N

Hey guys,

I myself have been victim to mild depression and I've seen people let it reign over them and hurt them in various ways, if you are a victim, know that things will get better someday.

I know it's hard to hold on, but what good is bearing the harsh winds of the winter not even expecting the flowers of spring to bloom.

You will be fine, I am with you, You are with you, You are beautiful and you are worth everything, so be good, stay hopeful and never bottle it in.

I know it was more of an emotional chapter but I had to write it for the people.....

I love you guys.