THE HIGH METAL GATES mocked the blonde woman. It felt as if an eternity had passed since she was staring at it, debating with herself on whether or not she should really proceed with the task at hand.

She has already made up her mind so long ago, though, and she's come this far. Still, she didn't think it would be this difficult.

For the thousandth time, she had to remind herself that it was only for the best. But what would happen if she stopped? What if she turned back around right now?

Was she truly willing to risk it?

A small gurgle at her side snapped her out of her inner struggle, and her heart wrenched. Next to her sat a basket, a tiny form all wrapped comfortably in a pink blanket around soft and lacy white pillows.

She steeled herself then, hitting the Bentley's honk. Once, twice; soon, a guard came hobbling and saw the woman's face. He instantly knew who she was and what she came for. Thus, without another moment, he quickly took out his keys and unlocked the mighty gates. She then took a deep, quivering breath and slowly rolled her vehicle in as the guard gave her a slight nod of acknowledgement.

Further inside, she was greeted by the gleeful laughter of children. Dozens upon dozens playing in the large space of grass, chasing each other around and squealing when they were almost caught by the one who was 'it' in an energetic game of tag.

She turned off the ignition, and she just sat there for a few moments. She was already here, so why was she hesitating now?

She sighed, shaking her head before stepping out of the car in an all black apparel that looked as if she was attending a funeral. She walked to the other door, pausing for a bit before gritting her teeth and practically slamming it open. With shaky hands, she reached out and grabbed the basket.

One of the adults supervising the children noticed her, and she made her way over.

"Hello. You're Ms. Rosa, right?"

The soft voice caught Rosa's attention, spinning around to see a middle aged nun. She gave a kind smile. "I'm Sister Judith, nice to meet you!"

Rosa was almost taken aback by how cheerful Judith was, only managing a nod. "Erm, yes... Nice to meet you, too."

Judith's eyes dropped to the basket before back up at Rosa. "Before you leave, would you like to take a look around?"

"No need." Rosa replied hurriedly. She already knew so much. She had previously hired a spy to pretend to be a nun, staying here for a couple of weeks or so and reporting back to Rosa with whatever she found along with a handful of photographs. Rosa wanted to make absolute sure that this orphanage didn't have any terrible secrets before she could do something so rash.

"Oh. Well, then, would you at least stay for mass? It's going to begin soon." Judith asked, raising a greying eyebrow.

Rosa shook her head. "I'm sorry. With all due respect, I don't follow a religion. I just..." She trailed off, feeling her mouth suddenly dry. "I just wanna leave already."

Judith went silent, her expression softening in understanding before placing a hand on Rosa's shoulder. "I know how hard this must be for you. But rest assured. Little, umm..."

"Briar."

"Yes! Little Briar will be very well taken care of." Judith held onto the basket's handle, but when she pulled Rosa didn't budge. She continued clutching it with a vice grip, her knuckles turning white before she realized what she was doing and finally letting go.

The baby shifted, before a whine escaped her lips as she awakened from her nap and she stretched out her stubby hands. Judith put the basket down and picked Briar up. She wiggled in the stranger's arms before she whipped around and her blue green eyes locked with Rosa's identical ones. A smile that reached up to her ears immediately formed.

"Mama!"

Rosa smiled back, but it looked more like a grimace as she tentatively got closer. "Hi, B." She murmured, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "Had a good sleep?" She spared a glance at Judith, who was watching sympathetically. "Listen, Mama needs to go..."

Briar, of course, couldn't understand. She only giggled, and Rosa took off her necklace. It was genuine gold with a beautiful rose pendant. She wore it around Briar, who looked down at it curiously.

"I'm sorry... Mama's SO sorry, B." Rosa couldn't take it anymore, the tears flowing freely.

Briar frowned, squishing her mother's teary cheeks. "Mama?"

Rosa sniffled, wiping her eyes furiously before forcing herself to regard Judith once more. "Promise me... PROMISE me you'll take care of her."

Judith nodded, earnesty in her gaze. "With my life, Ms. Rosa."

Rosa did everything she could not to cry anymore, her heart getting even heavier with each passing second. "I love you, Briar. I'm sorry..." And without another word, she briskly turned on her heel and got back in the car.

"Mama?" Briar called quizzically as Rosa started the car. "MAMA..!"

Rosa's eyes stung, and she raced down the dirt road to the exit. Once outside the gates, she broke down completely.

No matter how much she tried, she simply couldn't erase Briar from her mind. She was screaming, burning tears and snot snivelling down her face as she desperately tried to kick Judith away as Rosa drove off.

"I'm sorry, Briar... So, SO sorry!" Rosa repeated like a broken record, her face falling into her hands.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Rosa slumped in the empty living room of her brothel later that afternoon, staring blankly at the unlit fireplace.

She soon felt someone tapping her shoulder, and a silver tray coming into her vision as it was carefully set down on the table in front of her.

"I brought tea." Her closest friend and employee, Lily, informed. "Darjeeling white tea, your favourite. It'll help ease your nerves a bit."

Rosa didn't respond. Lily sighed lightly, taking a seat next to her on the sofa. A few minutes ticked by, the both of them basking in utter silence. Only the faintest sounds could be heard outside the busy streets below from the window--people chattering, laughing, and various cars revving up their engines.

Rosa obviously had a lot on her mind. And as much as Lily wanted to talk about them with her, she knew better. Rosa will open up in her own time.

Lily bit her lip, reaching out to pour herself a steaming cup of tea in the fine China. She blew on it, but she barely even took a sip when Rosa at last broke the ice.

"I'm a horrible mother."

Lily's crystal blue eyes widened, putting the fragile teacup down. "No you're not, Ro."

"You don't need to lie to me, Lil. I know I am." Rosa smiled wryly, still not facing her.

"Ro, look at me." When that didn't happen, Lily frowned and she made Rosa turn towards her. "You're. Not." She said again more firmly, squeezing her shoulders.

Rosa deflated, the day's events weighing in on her. She looked ridiculously miserable, her makeup a whole mess from crying so much earlier on. "How can you say that? You weren't there, Lily. You didn't see...y-you didn't hear how much Briar was calling for me. She was so helpless, so sad; and I didn't do anything about it. I just ABANDONED her!"

"You didn't have a choice." Lily whispered, feeling bad for her bestfriend.

"I did have a choice." Rosa sobbed. Just when she thought she had no more tears to shed, she felt the all too familiar prickle yet again. "But now... I don't think I made the right one anymore."

"I wish you didn't have to do this, too. I love Briar just as much as you. But at the end of the day... You did what you had to do, didn't you?" Lily tried to comfort Rosa. "Raising a child in this kind of environment is simply unacceptable. And even if you did want to run away, it would be almost impossible especially with your reputation. You already fled once before, and doing that now with a baby would be much more dangerous."

"I know... I know." Rosa tried to get a hold on herself, clenching her fists. "I only wish that she'd grow up alright. She won't remember me, I know that--and it'd be better that way. Because if I was in her shoes, I know that I'd much rather not know who my mom is than knowing that she's some common whore."

"You're not a whore." Lily held Rosa's hands, spreading them out before her long red nails would break the skin of her palms. "Despite our line of work, you are a great boss. You taught us dignity and confidence, and to have respect for ourselves and to never just blindly go with every single man that requests for us. So why are you putting yourself down like this? You're being too hard on yourself, Ro. You don't need that, especially after today."

Rosa shook her head vigorously, leaning forward and burying her face into the crook of Lily's neck. She didn't--couldn't--say anything else. And, really, it wasn't needed. Lily wrapped her arms around Rosa, before voicing out the question that's been troubling her since the other woman left that morning.

"Are you going to tell Mr. Solomons?"

Rosa didn't miss a beat in answering.

"No... This is our little secret, okay?"

Lily nodded, feeling droplets of salty water on her skin. She shushed Rosa gently, rocking her back and forth as she hugged her crying form even tighter.