Part 9
It is easier for mind, to forget than to forgive
"Nani humein lagta hai, humein sab ko Buaji ke ghar jaakar sab clear karna chahiye. Jo bhi hua hai, jisne jo bhi kiya hai us sab ki humein unse maafi mangani chahiye."(Nani, I think we should go to GH and apologize for everything.) Anjali suggested focusing on salvaging whatever little was left.Everyone agreed with her and they went to GH.
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At GH
Raizadas meet Guptas and they discussed what all was there in reports, also they elaborately told them about Shyam. Guptas shuddered to think what if he had succeeded in his plans about Khushi. What if he had killed Shashi ! They had interpreted all his signals about Shyam in just opposite direction. It was DM's blessings that saved them. They realised how foolish they had been in trying to save Anjali's marriage. It was not their decision to make, her pregnancy or not. Least they could have done is inform Devyaniji and let Raizadas decide whether Shyam the monster deserved second chance. In their stupidity, his crimes of attacking Shashi, attempts on Anjali's life had gone undetected. They truly regretted not informing Raizadas, reasons like Payal's, Anjali's marriage seemed so hollow now.
Guptas and Raizadas consoled each other and finally the issue of ugly past was addressed. Arnav wept bitterly on his knees before Garima and apologized to her. Garima, who somewhere understood his anger towards 'the other woman' decided not to keep the grudge and forgave him. It helped her assuage the meaningless guilt that she always had in her mind.She had always felt for both the children, though Anjali was hardly younger to her. But their relationship was that type. She hugged Anjali and Arnav who kept on asking forgiveness even as brother sister duo protested.
Shashi didn't want to see his face and it was very clear from his expressions. Arnav apologized hundred times for assaulting and abusing her and Khushi but Garima didn't say its ok even once. Buaji who felt sympathy for him and Anjali after learning about Maliks was angry when Arnav brought up the topic of Khushi. Khushi unaware of this drama happening at GH was enjoying lunch break at school.
Arnav and Akash made sure that Shashi's medications were as per the genuine prescription and got all of the medicines changed as a precaution. They offered for assistance of any kind. It was their duty as son-in-laws. Garima was hesitant with SIL tag but didn't protest. Buaji wanted to rebuke Arnav but controlled herself before Nani, who had been gracious and helpful throughout. Raizadas sans Arnav left after sometime. Arnav waited for Khushi to return home.He was anxious and nervous. Their last meet was disaster and so shameful that he had no idea how to talk to her but stayed back anyway. Buaji scowled at him as soon as they were alone and got up to help Shashi to his room. His presence was clearly unwelcome and he knew he was testing patience of even Garima, who like others seemed hostile on Khushi's matter. He asked her uncomfortable questions about their past three months(2 months and 20 days). About progress in Shashi's treatment, came to know about his physiotherapy sessions. He felt shameful for having turned his back on his in-laws. He came to know that Khushi now taught at a school. Garima tried to avoid her topic as much as possible. Khushi had yesterday told them about her decision of not informing him about baby, she knew not why.
She didn't know how to ask him to leave and looking at the way Buaji had left, she had no hope of help from her. Garima had never been a rude person and Arnav didn't seem to catch hint from her actions. So she got up with excuse of cooking. Arnav in his guilt paid little attention to her so obvious gestures or you can say he understood but shamelessly sat there. He wanted to know everything about Khushi, it was his guilt for keeping her out of his life for about 3 months. She came back by 2 pm usually, he was told. It was 12 pm. Two more hours! He was scared and nervous to face her after office fiasco. He clearly recalled all bullshit he spoke two days before and warning Khushi gave him about never forgiving him. She had mourned his death. All that he said to her in anger, in his quest to hurt her the deepest, came rushing back to him. In anger we don't say what we believe is true, we say things which we know will hurt the other person. We go so blind in our quest to hurt, cause damage to the other party that we forget the repercussions of our deeds. Same happened here. Arnav knew where it hurts her the most and he kept going, just to satisfy 'so called itch' of his anger. He knew it was both their first time but still spoke all that fu**ing shit to her and now it has come back to bite him. So, finally he gave into his fears about her reaction and decided to go back and come again tomorrow, after gathering his guts.
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After returning to RM, Arnav and Anjali sat at poolside. From his restless countenance, she knew he badly needed someone. Anjali sat down with him and explained what she perceived was problem in Arnav and Khushi's relation. She knew it in her heart that Khushi wont forgive him this time but he needs to address the deep rooted reason behind the problem. She told him that he jumps at first opportunity to doubt Khushi because she is everything opposite to his prejudices regarding people. She proves his theories wrong at every turn. Khushi has shown him ki duniya utni buri nahi hai jaise vo sochta hai.(People are not as bad as he assumed ) It is not world vs us always. Arnav needs to understand that what happened to them fifteen years back was very unfortunate BUT it does not give Arnav any right to treat everyone the same. Why should others carry his emotional baggage? Why is that particular event, a parameter for every single thing in their lives? Why should everyone face his hatred because of these bad people he encountered? Not everyone is gold digger, not everything is about money. Not every man is voyeuristic. And because of this complex of judging people every second, Arnav never leaves a chance to declare her wrong and himself right, without even making an effort to look into the matters properly, never giving the perceived opponent a chance to share their POV, verify it. Its like he has already painted Khushi black in his mind and he coats another layer whenever she 'falters' a bit from the 'code of conduct' he has assigned her!
Umr bhar Ghalib yehi bhool karta raha,
dhool chehre pe thi aaina saaf karta raha
He adamantly dives deep into his pool of negativity no matter how many times Khushi tries to bring him out. He actually never left his prejudices behind. Usne apni soch kabhi badli hi nahi (His rotten thoughts never changed)and now Khushi is no longer interested in pulling him out from darkness, changing his mindset.
And the most bitter truth of their relationship is - Arnav is insecure. His insecurities are always at war with her love, questioning her loyalties. Why Khushi loves a man like him is beyond him. Vo pyaar mein reason dhoondhana chahta hai jo use milta nahi(He wants to find reason in love, which he never gets ). Only money pops out every time as a plausible reason. Kyunki baaki to usmein kuch hai hi nahi...or maybe good looks? Unconditional love is alien to him. He fails to understand that Anjali, Akash. Mami ...everyone in his family would have loved him the same way whatever be the circumstances. Even if they weren't orphan, Anjali would still love him to bits...its just that in crucial times, love becomes more evident, but it is always there. Hota hamesha hai. Arnav was slowly understanding the things she was telling him. It was all true and he knew it but always kept ignoring his inner voice.
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After sometime they came down to sit with family to have tea. Anjali told him not to harass Khushi or lose his calm with her. His anger wont take him anywhere and he should have fairly understood it by now. Even if Khushi refused to listen to him which was most probable and truthfully, right thing to do, he should not distress her. It is not good to be stressed in this condition. Nani and Mami agreed with her.
"Kaunsi condition di? Khushi thik hai? stress ? Let me call her."("Which condition Di? Is Khushi ok?" ), he started to take his phone out.
"Ruko! Tum shaam mein chale jana...bahut cheezo ki maafi maangni hai tumhe. Phone par thik nahi rahega"("Wait! You go meet her in the evening. You need to ask forgiveness for thousand things it wont be ok to talk on phone")
"par di..." ("But Di")
"Tum shayad bhool gaye us din mandap mein tumne kya kia tha unke saath. U strangled her for God's sake! Ab aise phone par sorry bologe tum?"("Have you forgotten what you did to her in mandap?......Now you will ask sorry on phone? ")
"Di!! I am really very sorry for all that. Maine Garima Aunty se bhi maafi maang li hai iske liye. Mujhe us tarah behave nahi karna chahiye tha agar sab sach hota to bhi. Par Khushi ko hua kya hai ?"("Di I am really sorry for behaving so inhumane. I have asked sorry from Garima Aunty too. I shouldn't have behaved that way even if it was all true. But what has happened to Khushi?")
Ladies were clueless at this question. They stared at each other.
"Forget it! I ll myself go there and ask", Arnav gets up.
"3 mahine tumne parwa nahi ki unki. Ab ekdum itna pyaar kaise a gaya? Humne kaha na unhe disturb mat karo vo abhi aaram kar rahi hongi. Haina Mami? Achi neend aise bahut faiyda deti hai Chotey!" ("You didn't bother to know about her in 3 months and now why ar eyou so concerned about her? I told you not to disturb her now!She must be resting.Right Mami! Good sleep in beneficial.")
"par usse hua kya hai? She never rests at this time"("What has happened to her?")
" Ye 'hua kya hai, hua kya hai' kya laga rakha hai? Pregnant hai to aaraam to kari ke padi na !", Mami scolded him.("What is this 'what happened to her' song ? She is pregnant so she has to take ample rest!")
"WHAT!!!" Arnav was flabbergasted. His mouth wide open. 3 O's formed on his face too.
"Kya kaha Mami aapne? Khushi pregnant hai?"
"Di!!! Khushi pregnant hai? Meri Khushi pregnant hai?"
They nodded. ("What did you say Mami? Khushi is pregnant? Di Khushi is pregnant? My Khushi is pregnant?")
"Main... main PAPA ban ne wala hoon?("I... I am going to be a father?") (he pointed at himself in disbelief. Unbelievable! His eyes twinkled in happiness. It was euphoric feeling, the best moment of life. He has heard nothing more pleasant that this news in his entire life. )"
"Lekin kisi ne mujhe bataya kyu nahi ? Di Nani Mami aap sab ko pta tha ? Kisi ne mujhe batana zaroori nahi samajha?", he suddenly realised that everyone but him knew about it, so started shouting.("Why the hell no one told me? You all knew still didn't bother to tell me!")
"Chotey tum hum par gussa kyu ho rahe ho? Humein laga tumhe pta hai. Khushiji ne kaha tha ki vo khud tumhe office mein batane jayegi ? Vo mili thi na tumse? "("Why are you angry Chotey! We thought you already know! Khushiji had told she will go to your office to inform you. She met you right? "). Anjali was confused.
Arnav now understood why Khushi had come to his office. And how cruelly he had behaved. Lightening struck him. "O f**k ! Ye maine kya kar diya!! I should go meet her now."
"Chotey ruko! Khushi par chillane ki sochna bhi mat!"("Chotey wait! Don't you dare shout upon Khushi"). He didn't pay attention to Anjali and ran to his car.
Arnav wheeled his car to Gupta House. Khushi was reading a book, resting on her bed, almost ready to take a nap. She wanted to laze around all day after school.Morning sickness has not come yet but she had already started to feel lazy.
She had already come to know everything that happened earlier today. It was good that everything was clear now and everyone was safe from that maniac Shyam esp. her Babuji.
Arnav ignored Garima and Buaji who sat in living room, drinking tea. He directly rushed to Khushi's room but stopped at the door as office conversation flashed before him. He felt so remorseful at his shameful behavior but the news he had just received was so ecstatic that he was all smiles the next moment. Pushing aside every bad thought, he entered into her room and picked her up bridal style, moving in circles all around her room. As if everything was hunky-dory!!
Arnav "Khussshhiiiiiiii!!! Main bahut bahut khush hun ! Tum Mummy..main Papa...humara baby. Its feels so good (cradles her closer). This is best day of my life!!! Thank you so much." He kissed her forehead.("Khushi I am so happy!!! We are going to be parents! We are going to have a baby! ")
"Tumne bataya kyu nahi mujhe?" ("Why you didn't tell me?"), he asked stupidly.
Khushi who had panicked when he had suddenly picked her up became hell angry at his question. She forgot the happiness she had felt for a moment at his excitement. She struggled to get down shouting, pushing at his chest violently "Chodiye humein! Chodo!!!"("Leave me!!"). Arnav puts her down on bed.
Khushi was so furious at his guts!! This man was truly pathetic! "Bataya kyun nahi?". All her hurt resurfaced at his ridiculous question. And he again opened his mouth to speak something at the wrong time. Khushi was fuming in anger. She was searching for something to hit him with. In anger, she went to the other side of the bed and picked up water jug from side table and hurled it at his face with full force. It hit him square at forehead drenching him and bed too. When Arnav looked at her in shock not at all expecting this from docile Khushi, she shouted "Out! Get out right now!".
Arnav's forehead had turned red and bumpy over his left eyebrow and not bloodied, due to wrong amount of force Khushi exerted on jar while throwing it. Maybe, she missed to add weight of water to steel's during calculation. Arnav was almost swooning and not able to believe what had just happened. His wife and violence?? Holding his head, he spoke out his doubt, " Khushi tum...?"("Khushi, you...??")
Khushi didn't let him complete his sentence, she was about to throw glass at him when Garima and Buaji came inside. They had heard the sound of something crashing to the floor. Worried what happened, they had rushed inside. It took seconds to guess what actually happened from the way drenched Arnav was ducked down to protect himself, jug lying near him and Khushi's raised hand with glass in its grip. Garima scolded Khushi for her rash behavior much to Buaji's displeasure. The old woman herself wanted to hit him on head with a pot from courtyard. Khushi warned them to take him away or she would definitely kill him. She refused to listen to anything he had to say. Garima requested Arnav to leave her alone for now. Khushi slammed her door shut.
Arnav all guilty learnt about everything that he had missed out on. His first pregnancy and he came to know about it after 3 months all thanks to himself. Garima told him everything that happened in these three months. Arnav regretted having missed the wonderful and anxious moment when doctor confirmed the pregnancy. If they had been together! But he had not left any scope for anything. He promised her that he wont miss out anything further. He will redeem his relation whatever it takes.He wont repeat his mistakes ever again. They wont get a chance to complain. He will take care of his wife and our baby. It was high time he corrected his wrongs. He decided to come back again tomorrow.
Aye zindagi tu hi bata
Khoya hai jo paaun kahaan?
Har bhool ko maafi mile
Roothe palo'n ko main laaun manaa?
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Excerpts from later chapters :
"Buaji ek minute, mujhe nahi pata bhai ko aisa kyun laga. Par main Payal ko kisi ke kehne par nahi chod dunga. I agree, I wanted Bhai in mandap during my marriage ceremony but it doesn't mean I would not have married Payal just because my brother told me so. Bhai ,Payal,Di ,Ma everyone have their own independent existence in my life."
"Akash I know it! I just bluffed coz I knew Khushi would take it.Hell Why would I separate you both when I made efforts to bring you guys together."
"Tum muh band rakho apna Arnav!!"
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