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All proofreading after completion of story. It is too long to proofread anyways.

Khushi woke up all disoriented. She realized that it was bhang(cannabis) not thandai. The sequence between dancing with Jiji-Jijaji and waking up on bed was missing from her memory. The feeling that she had done something which she shouldn't have, was messing her already throbbing head. She couldn't feed Aarav after consuming bhang and now both mother-son were tired and irritated. Arnav's one word equivocal answers didn't help at all. He didn't want her to embarrassed or hurt about whatever she did in her state of torpor at gazebo. The more evasive he tried to be, angrier and moody she became, insisting to know everything. 

Khushi refused to make coffee till he revealed her Holi tales and HP's coffee had stopped suiting his tongue years ago. Arnav was at his wits end, by the end of the week, due to zero talks and the mess she created in the room. He had just come back from office and again the room was all shitty. He was tempted to ask JP to throw away all her clutter from her study table. She was already an unorganized person and her intentional behavior was getting on his nerves. He promised himself that it was last time he was arranging her paperwork. But things were back to original when he came back to the room after dinner.

To extract revenge and teach her some real manners, he decided to show her the video recording where she was blabbering to the ground. It was full three minutes of 'embarrassment' that he was 'supposedly' hiding for sake of humanity. Khushi flushed red as she watched the video where she was patting the ground again and again, talking to it dreamily.She had almost kissed the grass blades in reverence. She tried to delete this stupid video but Arnav snatched his phone. He was clear in his deal. She has to pay for week of unwarranted mistreatment when he was being nothing but a gentleman. Khushi objected to 'gentleman', who shot her video without her permission and cursed herself for axing her own foot in curiosity.He told her that he ll show it to everyone if she didnt agree to his 'orders'. All thoughts of saying sorry for misbehaving whole week went away at his autocratic tone.

"Aap jo kahenge vo HUM...HUM karenge?", she tried to intimidate him. She wanted to snatch his  phone but he raised it higher. He could have some fun.( I, I ll do whatever you asked? )

"Nothing outrageous I promise", he said but she still struggled to get hold of his phone, failing again.

"Deal or No deal?"

"Blackmailing is illegal!"

And all her misbehavior was legal? He wanted to ask."You are right. Lets show this comedy to everyone directly. Everyone should have fun", he started to walk out. Khushi was furious. She fisted her hands, trying to control her anger lest she hit him. She ll become butt of jokes for atleast next decade if everyone saw this one. Video was really embarrassing.

 "Rukiye ek minute!!!! Theek hai. Humein manzoor hain. Par agar aapne koi bhi badtameezi ki to saud..."   ("Stop!     Alright. I ll do it. But if you misbehaved with me then deal...")

"Deal cancel, video deleted."

Khushi nodded at that and now they were arguing about the duration. Arnav wanted it for whole week, Khushi was ready only for an hour at max. They settled for a single day tomorrow i.e., Sunday. She warned him to not push her boundaries or she ll break his phone just for a video. Arnav cared less.

Next Morning, 

Everyone at breakfast table, especially Guptas were surprised to see her sending 440 watts smile to Arnav, serving him, moving behind him like a shadow. Payal was puzzled, very concerned at this. She couldn't stop herself from asking Khushi if everything was okay. Ofcourse why not, Khushi replied nonchalantly as if it was daily occurrence. She buttered his toast just as he liked, sorely tempted to use knife somewhere else. Everyone looked at her as if she was an alien. No one could comprehend the reason behind sun rising from west. Mami was too happy celebrating this reverse track to bother about anything else. Her friday fasts have paid off. Phatisa... no no her bahuriya was finally behaving like a 'good wife' to her Arnav bitwa. Afterall, a smirking Arnav meant a happy Arnav in her dictionary. 

 "Aap coffee lenge ya juice?", K asked A in a saccharine voice("Would you like to have coffee or juice?")

"Orange Juice, fresh", he ordered haughtily just like her.

"Ji, Hum abhi laate hain", K replied in same overtly sweet tone. ("It ll be here in a minute")

Akash choked on his morsel at her response, diverting Payal's attention back to her hubby as she helped him with water. Khushi brought him juice and sat down on her seat now attending Jr. Rakshas. She gritted her teeth as she tried to convince Aarav to not eat chocolate now but he kept throwing tantrums. Arnav enjoyed it from sidelines as he went on reading newspaper, not helping her at all as she was to do all his chores today. She was already so hungry DM and Aarav wasn't helping at all! It was a bad day and she wanted smack that arrogant smirk off his father's face. But then everyone's gonna have field day if that stupid video came out. Arnav was having fun of lifetime. Names she was forced to use were the funniest part of whole pact. She had teased him so much once using same technique. It was his revenge.

Her blushing face, whisper of  hamare governor to aap hain(you are my  governor) was silly, teasing but so sweet, soothing. Those were the golden days, even if  his wife used it in devising plans to irritate him. Atleast all her time was his, his alone - centre of all her attention. He sighed, rubbing his wet eyes before focusing back on recreating those memoriesof KKGSR. They're balm on his burning soul.

~

'Swami aapki coffee", she brought his cup of bitter concoction. ("Master, your coffee ")

"Where is the Ji?", he interrupted with a glee.

"Suuu...(Arnav glared)waaa.mi.Jeee, aapki coffee", she faked a smile that was also part of the deal.

~

"Chee! Hum nahi bolenge ye."("Eewww!! I wont say this ")

" Acha rukiye! Hum bol rahe hain. Ha..ha..Honey come down for lunch ". She had to cook lunch also when only breakfast was her responsibility on Sundays. Yes, she loved cooking but only out of free will.She hated instructions and he was doing just that.("Ok wait. I am saying it. Ha..ha..honey come down for lunch")

~

"Suniye, hum aapko head massage dein?", she asked rolling her eyes, resisting temptation to make him bald. Vaise to(Normally), He hates it when people touched his hair and now just to irritate her he had himself asked her to sweetly ask him for an oil massage. This is last one Khushi, this one is last. Keep patience.("Hey, Would you like some head massage?")

~

Khushi had cleaned whole room, just his files were left. She was appreciating her work when he again asked her to call him another name.

"This is stupid. Aap humare bache hain kya?"("This is stupid. Are you my child? ")

"Obviously not! Main baap hun tumhare Alo...", Arnav said cheekily, to rile her up.("Obviously not. I am father of your Al")

She shoved the file on his face, "Baebeeee where should I keep your files?"

~

Khushi got irritated after darling/sweetheart and blah blah. How can he force her to say all this rubbish! It was slavery! 

Agreed, she irritated him in past but that was ages ago!!! She growled like a lion when he asked her to praise him for full 10 minutes or call him with another disgusting name. 

"This is last one. You are free after this"

"Pakka?" ("Sure?")

"100%. If you want you can choose to praise me instead"

" No thanks!!! I ll say this one... Jaa..'

"Come on!!! Say it Khushi", he goaded trying to control his laughter but her expression left him in splits. It took him more than five minutes to become sober again. Visibly red Khushi lost her patience and stormed away. He was a true devil, landed straight from hell. Arnav insisted that she should say it to complete the deal. Khushi stole his phone in return, but to her frustration, the sly fox had changed the password. Her family must be wondering what's wrong with her. All this bullshit may have even given false hopes to everyone! How can he take such liberties when they are not a couple. Devi maiyya ki kasam, she ll teach him a lesson he wont forget. He ll surely think million times before blackmailing her, forcing her for anything. She had worked whole day like his minion. Arnav still kept poking her but she kept her patience, waiting for right time to strike .He's very punctual about his sleep and jog, right? Both ll go for toss.

Arnav who was sleeping got disturbed, after every 15 minutes, coz of her phone vibrating under his pillow. He took out the battery when this happened for the third time and went back to sleep. Silly girl! 

After sometime,Khushi came to his side of bed and shook him awake, disturbing his sleep.This happened many times.

 Clock read 2:30 and it was 5th time in row when she forced him awake.

"Khushi, kal Monday hai dammit!!! Even you need to go to work. Stop this now. Kitni baar disturb karogi? Hisaab barabar ho to gaya!!!!"("Khushi. It is Monday tomorrow!! Even you need to go University. Stop this now. How many times you ll disturb me? We are equal now")

"Shhh!!! Don't shout, Aarav uth jayega. You want to sleep?"("Dont shout. Aarav ll get disturbed. You want to sleep?")

"Yesss", he nodded desperately.

"Then say sorry"

"Excuse me?"

"Excused. Now, say sorry for all stupid things you made me do, whole day." 

"In your dreams!!", he pulled his blanket up to go back to sleep. She pulled it down and shook him again. Arnav pulled her hand without warning and she fell on his chest and struggled to get up. Unable to hold her hands,he held her waist, holding her still.

"Ya to chup chap jaa kar so jao varna..."

She looked on in challenge.

" I promise Khushi, saari saari raat jaga kar rakhunga", his sleepy, husky voice gave her goosebumps.("Either go sleep quietly or I promise Khushi, we both ll not sleep any night hereafter")

"Baby, you know what I mean", he patted her cheek as if she was a small child. Khushi got up and scrambled back to her side as soon as she got the meaning. Aarav stirred due to movement and she patted him back to sleep. Why did she lock horns with a shameless bull, wasting her time?She shouldn't have wasted her time in asking about Holi. Could have really done something productive like working on theorems. 

************

Some days later,

Arnav was back from office when he found Khushi teaching something very important to Aarav. She was telling him about good touch and bad touch. He was to start his play school next week and they were worried if Aarav would be as accepting as he seems to be. They had celebrated his birthday a fortnight before. He had been enthusiastic as they went through the attractive brochure of  school. They had paid a visit to the kindergarten and Aarav had reacted positively, easing  his parents.

He was amazed at her thoughtfulness for this aspect never crossed his mind. Maybe, due to bodyguards and all. He looked on as she easily explained things to their two year old baby. How he was owner of his body, meaning of private parts, whole anatomy with correct names.It was a good thing as they ll be able to help him better if he needs to know something. How it was wrong if someone touches them, that he should ALWAYS inform Mumma or Papa even if it felt good. She told him the difference between safe touch and bad touch with example of doctor injecting on his bum. It made things light. To his wonderful surprise, she wasn't hesitant in demonstrating. He didn't need to come to her rescue there. She was a mother and confident one at that. Her language was easy and conversation was light and comfortable as Aarav put forward some questions and she answered them. 

Khushi who had sensed him, looked at him to know if she did it the right way. Arnav nodded in approval and went to sit beside them. He explained it to Aarav that he should never feel ashamed to tell  them anything, i.e., his parents, even if someone threatened him with life coz they ll protect him ALWAYS or if he thinks he did something wrong. 

Best thing is to not keep secrets with parents.

*****

It was Aarav's first day of play school and Khushi was nervous like hell. Everyone was excited, including Aarav who was eager to visit that colorful building again. Much to everyone's dismay, Arnav stopped them from tagging along. Only Khushi and he ll drop him or they ll need a separate room to accommodate their family.  

Aarav has never been away from his parents for more than two hours & it was cause of concern for Daddy dearest. How ll he cope up with new people. Khushi had convinced him it was right time for him to make friends, interact with others, it was good for his growth and he had stupidly agreed with her then. It was so cruel of them to send two year old baby to school, Arnav kept hugging Aarav throughout their long journey of 10 minutes to the play school. Aarav was confused why his parents were sticking to him like polar bears in such a hot weather, kissing him now and then.

He happily sat in the class on his favorite orange colored seat, playing with an aeroplane toy that the teacher gave him. There were many others like him playing with different toys. It was beautiful place with so many cartoons and colors. He was loving it. Arnav Khushi said their byes and went to sit in parents room to watch him through the glass wall. Parents were boasting about maturity of their children, how happily they had adjusted on first day itself and blah blah. Arshi had just breathed a sigh of relief as they saw Aarav playing with another kid, when a loud cry rang in the room. One boy got the realization that his parents had left him all alone! His neighbor, a cute girl with fountain pony was playing with blocks. She kept looking at him as he searched here and there for his parents, crying bad. She started to cry for her parents too. Before teacher could calm these two down, the chain reaction had started. All twenty kids started crying, including Aarav. The session was dismissed. It took more than 10 days for Aarav to completely adjust in school. He started to learn about sharing, caring and team work-  with peers through various activities.

 ***************

Sheetal tried to keep in touch with Arnav but his 'no response' on official mail id, forced her to adopt wait and watch approach. She couldn't gather much information about his marriage due to tight leash he kept on his private life. But there was something uneasy about the couple, she had felt. She cannot pinpoint but they were unfit, unsuitable. Different as chalk and cheese. She didn't hate Khushi, she seemed to be a nice girl but not upto his standards. ASR was a brand and he deserved better, someone like her who was stylish, prim and proper, not a giggling schoolgirl who stuck to that La whole evening. Well, it must be her low confidence that made her keep away from Arnav's path. Her loss's my gain and he certainly looked happy dancing with me and I ll make sure it remained so. One meet had rekindled her feelings.Her friendship approach with Lavanya Kashyap was working fine and she was almost sure about securing a personal invitation. She planned to stay atleast for a month at RM. That ll be enough time to make ASR realise that she was the correct fit to his jigsaw puzzle. 

Lavanya was clueless about her intentions. She had nothing to suspect coz Sheetal had never asked for personal details or sounded nosy. She had praised Raizadas, their extravagant arrangements for engagement, how excited she was to attend an Indian wedding and all. La thought she was stringing praises either for her professional benefit by LV-AR deal or she really missed India as she claimed. As La found nothing odd so didn't mention it to anyone- NK, ASR or Khushi. As it is, she was too busy in planning her wedding to feel that something was off, understand real motive behind Sheetal's friendliness. Downside of her unchecked behaviour led Sheetal imagine herself in place of Khushi in trio's pictures that she would chanced upon in her meets with NK and La. She started to fall in love or whatever it was, with father-son duo, not bothering to know how much they loved Khushi. She warmed at the feeling that Arnav was such a good father. Aarav instead of stopping, helped her 'fall' more for Arnav. He was such a cutiepie, she would love to be his mother. They ll look picture perfect.  

**************

Unaware of her sick thoughts, the family was having great time as usual. They were slowly adjusting to new routine. Elders missed Aarav, his naughtiness but just for 4 hours. His chatter would fill up the house as he had new tales to tell everyday. His adventures at school were so funny. They would ask him various questions to check  2 year old brain's IQ level. Colors, shapes, names of different things and what not. With his words getting clearer and sentences bigger, he would try to sing along with the animated videos, entertaining everyone. Khushi had taught him to perform 'Teddy bear turn around' poem and innocent child acted to the T, not knowing how cute he looked in that pose- his chubby hands moving out as he made a devoted turn with help of his cute bum. They were using him for entertainment as he looked like a cute chubby teddy. Shashi's health had improved much, his legs started to gain strength and he could now walk without support. They had celebrated this huge milestone in Gupta style with food and dance. Doctors were positive about his arms movement and speech therapy.

By end of May, Garima was successful in training 2 out of 5 AR Designers in the zardosi skills. Arnav hoped it ll give him desired results by the end of August. He had to clinch the deal in September and he was satisfied with paperwork by Latham & Watkins, their legal team for this joint venture. They were best ones, negotiating hard and best part was, he had not even played his cards yet.

************

Months later,

Arnav sat alone in his mother's garden.He could not muster the courage to look at the stars in the sky. His mother, her parents. He was surely a disappointment to them. On this day, three years before, he had committed a colossal mistake, taken wrong decision that changed his life, separated Khushi from him. His efforts to do destroy his life had culminated that day. Khushi had finally lost the war, ASR had won. But he had failed to realize defeat of Arnav in this. Of their parents. He had no guts to face her so always chose to hide here. He had successfully broken her, trampled all over her that day, shredded their love to tiny pieces. Office conversation was just a seal. Their destruction had been complete as soon as he had dared to choke her. And their baby, who had just started his journey in form of a cell! His soul must have been shocked that this heinous man was going to be his father.

Today, Arnav was ready to trade anything to go back and correct his wrongs but no one was there to take this deal. Every year, he would come here to hide, for it was impossible to look at her and not remember his deeds. Guilt would become unbearable, tugging his insides. Ideally, he should have been six feet under, for all his horrendous deeds. His humanity had died that day,so it should be mourned. This day makes him hopeless, he feels that no repentance will ever be enough. His life will be sad forever, this was all karma. 

Arnav laughed mirthlessly remembering his dialogue, "Arnav Singh Raizada apni kismat khud likhta hai" ("Arnav Singh Raizada writes his own destiny.")

"Kitna sahi tha main, kyunki itni buri kismat Khushi ki DM to nahi likh sakti, its my own doing!"("I was so right, coz God wont write such a bad fate for anyone, its all his karma, his actions")

Dil chahta hai aaj ro lun ji bhar ke, jaane kis kis baat pe naraaz hun khud se...

He wished he had been a normal loving husband that Khushi deserved. What was the need to make her go through so much pain, make his own life so miserable? Why can't we realize things before it gets too late? Why do we learn only after damage is done?  Why do we want another chance after making sure things become beyond redemption?  

He wiped his eyes when he got a call from Khushi. Aarav spoke from the other end asking for his whereabouts, that it was 11 in night and he wanted to sleep. He had missed Papa whole day and what not. Arnav couldn't help but smile even in this gloom. He cleaned himself up and decided to head back home. He wont disappoint his baby atleast. 

Khushi was moving to and fro with Aarav in her arms, patting his head on her shoulder, so that he somehow fell asleep. Aarav jumped out of her arms as soon as he saw Arnav. "Daddy!!" 

Arnav picked him up and kissed his nose, "Aloo missed me?"

"Yes Daddy" said visibly sleepy Aloo.

 Khushi had had a long tiring day with Aarav. But it was sensible on Arnav's part to leave her alone on this particular day. She needed that space to lick her wounds. Aarav slept after sometime as Arnav patted him to sleep. Khushi had just come to bed after finishing chores when she saw he was lost in his thoughts and tears dripping down his chin. She could see them falling on Aarav. As much as she wanted to avoid any talk, she knew he needs to control himself lest Aarav woke up and saw him in such state. She pulled Aarav gently towards her and asked Arnav to go clean his face. Arnav held her hand.

"I m sorry", he whispered against it. Khushi pulled it back coldly. She had no mood for this talk. It was better if she slept. He came to her side of bed now. "Khushi please...main(I)..."his volume was increasing and so was Khushi's exasperation. 

Her wounds that had not dried one bit and here he was trying to press her raw nerve. "Aap kya kar rahe hain? Abhi to soya hai ye, agar uth gaya aur aapko aise dekh liya to? Go, clean your face. We need to sleep."("What are you trying to do? He has just slept and now if he woke up and saw you like this? Go, clean your face. We need to sleep.")

"Maine kaunsa aisa acha kaam kiya hai jo tum mili ho mujhe?Tum bekaar mein hi fas gayi mere saath"("What good deeds have I done that I got you? You got trapped with me in vain")

"Humein koi baat nahi karni. Aap band kiji..." ("I dont want to talk. You stop this")

"Tumhari Devi Maiyya ne acha nahi kiya tumhare saath. Mujh jaise rakshas ke liye tum jaisi pari? Galat kiya hai maine tumhare saath. Bahut gal..!"("Your goddess  has wronged you. She sent an angel for a devil like me. I have wronged you.")

Khushi not wanting to melt at his sobs on any condition, got up and went to poolside. She no longer cared if his cries woke up Aarav. Daddy dearest  'll put him back to sleep. It was only she, whose whole night 'd be spent pondering over her decisions of last three years. She heard him choke on his breath. She fisted her hands tight, trying to ignore it. No, dont go to him, let him sob, let him choke. Khushi, he doesn't deserve your care. She tried to control but helpless, she came inside and gave him a glass of water rubbing his back. She felt so angry at times, mostly at her own self. He gulped some and looked up ruefully. He had tried to choke her and she was here, offering him water. He again tried to speak and she turned to go back outside. She ll never ever hear his pathetic excuses for whatever he did to her.  Arnav followed her to the poolside. They need to talk. It cannot go on for years. She needs to open up. Till when was she going to avoid this topic?

"Tumhe yaad nahi hai...aaj ki date?"("You know what date it is, today?")

She chuckled mirthlessly. His brutal deeds, nasty words they ll take to their graveyard. And here, he is asking if she remembered the date! He had made sure that she ll never ever forget it, not in this lifetime.

"Khushi tum kab tak chup rahogi? Kuch to bolo? I know tumhe mujh par gussa aa raha hai, saalon se gussa ho. Kab tak sab andar daba kar rakhogi? Mujhe marne ka mann kar raha hai to maaro mujhe par aise bina kuch bole mat jao", he stopped her from leaving. They need to move forward. He won't let be, not this time.("Khushi till when will you remain quiet? Say something? I know you are angry with me, since years! Till when are you going to keep things buried inside? You want to hit me, go ahead but please dont go without saying a world.")

Khamoshiyaan aawaaz hain
Tum sun-ne to aao kabhi
Chhookar tumhe khil jaayengi
Ghar inko bulaao kabhi
Beqaraar hain baat karne ko
Kehne do inko zaraa..

Silences are sounds,
Sometime, come to listen..
They'll blossom by just touching you,
Sometime call them home.
They're restless to talk to you,
Let them speak..

Khushi shrugged his hand off and looked away. 

"Teen saal ho gaye hain. Tumne ek shabd nahi bola aaj tak. Jo andar reh jata hai vo zeher ban jata hai. It ll consume you up. I know, I am your culprit, punish me in any way you want. Don't do this to yourself. Hit me Khushi, you ll feel better. Khushi...say something,  I can't bear your indifference."("It has been 3 years. You haven't said a word. What remains inside turns into venom, that ll consume you.I know I am your culprit, punish me in any way you want. Don't do this to yourself. Hit me Khushi, you ll feel better. Khushi...say something, I can't bear your indifference.")

He took her hands and tried to slap himself on his cheeks. Khushi herself itched to slap him countless but she had better control. He was breaking her and she resisted with her everything. "Main kuch bhi karne ke liye tayaar hun. Tum chahe jaan le lo meri." He tried to choke himself. ("I am ready to do anything. You can even take my life")

Khushi moved her hands from his neck to his collar, holding tight as she mocked his typical belief of eye for an eye. She shook him fiercely, spitting fire at his stupid theories, " Aapki jaan lene se humara dard kam ho jayega? Bataiye? Kam ho jayega? Sab thik ho jayega aapko marne se?"("Will my pain end if I choke you? Tell me? Will it reduce by taking your life? ")

"Hum Arnav Singh Raizada nahi hai. Jo apne chot lagne par saari duniya jalaa dein"("I am not Arnav Singh Raizada, who ll burn down whole world if he got hurt"), she tried to remove her hands from his collar but Arnav held them there.

"Tum batao, main kya karun? Aisa kya karun ki sab thik ho jaye? Bolo main kya karun jisse tum phele vali Khushi ban jao? Ek baar keh ke dekho, main kuch bhi karunga Khushi, kuch bhi"  ("You tell me, what should I do? What should I do to make things alright? Tell me what should I do so that you ll go back to become the same old Khushi? Just say it once. I ll do anything Khushi, anything ")

His eyes implored her for a solution to their problems. They were desperately peeking into hers with so much hope, like she had answers to his questions, like she had power to set things, like we send prayers above, hoping for a divine intervention. His hopeful stare broke her down, she looked away from his begging eyes. She had no answers. None. She didn't know how to make things right. How to pull them from what seems like a deep dark pit he had pushed them into. She tried to control her anguish, holding him for support as she wept bitterly. She was as clueless as him. She could understand his guilt but was helpless. She cannot forget and he, for all his power and might, cannot make her forget. 

She left his collar in despair and slid down to the ground, defeated. "Aap kuch nahi kar sakte...kuch nahi." ("You cant do anything.You cannot make things right")

Hadn't Arnav-Khushi felt so promising? Sounded so perfect? Wasn't he her man? She loved him, infact loves him even now, then why are they here today, so miserable? If they were so much in love then why they 'e still so gloomy, so agonised? Why cannot she make herself forget it, let it go this time too, just like she had so many times in past?  When had she hardened so much? What had led them to this? Is it all her fault?...Khushi wondered.

She craned her neck to look up at Mighty ASR - the man who was so powerful. All she could see was a tired man as much ruined as she was. Tears welled up in her orbs at his state, he looked as if he has aged centuries. Who was responsible for this? 

"You were supposed to love me", she hit his shoes with her fists, her angst getting better of her. It was all his fault! Only his! "Kab hui itni nafrat aapko humse? Kaise kaha vo sab aapne? Kyu toda humara dil?" ("When did you start hating me so much? How could you say all that to me? Why did you break my heart")

She tugged at his trousers in acute hurt," Kya mil gaya aapko ye sab karke? Aap achi tarah se jaante they kitni takleef hogi humein, fir bhi aapne itni gandi, behuda baatein kahin? Aapne sab khatm kar diya... sab kuch." She mourned for what they could have been.What he had snatched from them, so brutally, when they had been so close to attaining it. She cannot forget this man not only ditched her twice but humiliated her so callously.("What have you gained by all this? You knew it, how bad it ll hurt me, yet you said those vile things to me. You destroyed everything...every single thing")

Arnav's legs went unsteady as his past actions tormented his soul. He couldn't stand the accusations in her eyes as she gazed at him in nothing but disappointment and pain, an endless pain. He slid down beside her, sobbing bitterly. "Khushi! I m sorry... so sorry...so sorry. Mujhe maaf kardo...ek akhiri baar maaf kardo. Please... main bheek maang raha hoon tumse. Mujhse nahi ho raha. Please...ek last chance dedo mujhe? Ek akhiri baar maaf kardo apne Arnavji ko? Tum to har baar kar deti ho na? Maaf kardo mujhe Khushi... please?"("Khushi! I m sorry...so sorry...so sorry..Forgive me...one last time. Please...I am begging you. i can't continue like this. Please...one last chance? Forgive your Arnavji one last time? You have forgiven me every single time. Forgive me one last time Khushi... please?") holding her hand in his hands, he laid his forehead on them, sobbing, hiccuping remembering all those times he had brutally insulted her again and again thousand times and she had let it go each time, for sake of love till he had pushed her to never returning brink. He had once foolishly thought that she can do anything for money when she was actually saving her Babuji's shop by agreeing to work for him even after he had brutally insulted her and thrown her out of the house. Today even her dedication, love and care for others was not working for him. Even his pleads of forgiveness for the sake of their love couldn't melt her. He had broken her to that extent. Khushi tried to remove her hands from his hold. Her anguish and pain acting impermeable to his pleads even as her own tears ran unchecked.

Arnav looked at her imploringly. Can't he get one more chance? He ll bet his everything if only he could go back in time and change that night. She could see regret etched on every pane of his face, she sympathized with him. He had broken his own dreams too, burnt down their lovely home into ashes. He had hurt himself too. They were travelling in the same boat, but even for all the love she felt for him, she could not bring herself to forgive him, not even for her peace of mind. Such deep were the wounds. 

But this talk had given vent to all the magma that had been simmering inside her. She let out all her complaints, her pain. Unknowingly she had started baring her hurt.

"Humein mandap mein aapki chinta ho rahi thi ki aap thik to hai, pata nahi kahan reh gaye. Itna sa bhi vishwas nahi tha humne Dadi ki baaton pe!  Kitni baar phone kiya humne, aapne ek baar bhi nahi uthaya. Jab humne aapko aate huye dekha humein laga, aap humse itna intzaar karwane ki maafi mangage. Kahenge, I am sorry Khushi, aane mein der ho gayi par aana to tha hi. Hum thoda sa gussa karte, fir hum dono shaadi kar lete. Hamesha ke liye ek ho jate. Phere, jo humein laga tha bahut zaroori hain, vo bhi ho jate. Koi humein alag nahi kar pata."

("At altar,I was worried for you. I didnt believe Dadi even for a second. I dialed you so many times but you didnt receive my calls. When I saw you coming inside the venue, I thought you ll be sorry for making me wait for so long. That you ll say, I m sorry Khushi, got late but I HAD to come. I would have pretended to be angry and then we would have got married. We could have become one forever.  Phere that I had felt were necessary would have been done. Nothing could have separated us ")

Fresh tears brimmed in both their eyes. They didn't need anyone else to separate them. They were capable enough to do it themselves.

Arnav held her hand as he listened how their world had shattered into pieces, their dreams turned into shards. "Aap to aaye hi nahi they, uss din to ek toofan aaya tha, theek vaisa jaisa hum pheli baar mile they.  Humein ye batane ke liye ki toofan sirf taabhi chod kar jaate hain. Ek pal mein sab barbaad kar diya aapne.Humari kismat hi... "

("But you had not come that day. Instead came a deadly storm just like our first meet. To teach me that storms only cause destruction. You killed everything that day. It' s all in my fate! ")

"You regret falling in love with me?", Arnav asked out of blue.

Khushi stopped her rant as she heard his question. Her reply was instant. "Nahi. Ek baar bhi humein aisa nahi laga . I fell in love not by choice, it just happened. Humse puch kar thodi hua tha. Humein aaj bhi nahi lagta humne aapse pyar karke koi galti ki hai. Par humne pyar mein, jo galat chupchap saha, uska pachtawa bahot hai. Humne aapko apne saath ye sab karne diya, iska pachtawa hai. Pyar karne ka koi pachtawa nahi hai humein. Aap sab bigadte chale gaye, aur humne ye hone diya iska pachtawa zaroor hai."

("No. I never felt it. I fell in love not by choice, it just happened. Love doesn't need permission to happenEven today, after everything, I dont regret it. But the wrong things I allowed in name of love, I regret. I allowed you to behave so cruelly with me, I regret. I dont regret falling in love but I regret that I allowed to you destroy everything.")

"Khushi, agar kuch bigad jaye use thik bhi to kiya jaa sakta hai? Sab kuch phele jaisa bhi to ho sakta hai? Hum phir se shuru bhi to kar sakte hain?"  ("Khushi, can't we can set wrongs right? Cant things become good like earlier times? Cant we start afresh?")

Khamoshiyan ek saaz hain
Tum dhun koi laao zaraa
Khamoshiyan alfaaz hain
Kabhi aa gunguna le zara
Bekaraar hain baat karne ko
Kehne do inko zaraa.. haan..

Silences are a musical instrument,
You bring some tune,
Silences are words,
Come, sometime hum it with me..
They're restless to talk,
Let them speak for a bit..

She looked away at that. Arnav turned her face to look at him, "I cant do this anymore. Mujhse nahi ho raha. I want one chance. I ll show you, I have changed. Tumhe mujhe jo saza deni hai dedo par please meri Khushi vapis dedo. Mujhe meri Khushi wapis chahiye. Mujhe ek mauka dedo. Please?" ("I cant do this anymore. I want one chance. I ll show you, I have changed. Punish me ayway you want but please return my Khushi to me. I need one chance? Please?")

Khushi looked at him. How many chances does he want? She had given so many without him even asking and he had gone ahead and screwed them all. No, she shook her head sideways. She wont give him another chance to walk all over her.  He brought her close and hugged her, pleading her for some mercy. Love that was imprinted deep in her soul, forced her to hug him, comfort him, no matter how much she tried to drown that voice. Hiding her face into his shoulders, she wondered if powerlessness is result of love too? 

She should hate him with passion, he deserves her hatred. "Nafrat karte hai hum aapse. Jitni aap humse karte hai na usse kahin zyada. I hate you so much!" She murmured as she dug her face, deeper into his shoulder. Her actions were opposite to her words and thoughts. Love is a complex emotion.It knows how to survive amongst hatred, hurt, fear and anger. Coz it comes from your soul, from your deepest, unlike any other emotion and it will never make you weak. ("I hate you, more than you can ever hate me . I hate you so much!")

Arnav hugged her tight, mumbling his sorrys, asking for a chance again and again. He pulled back when her last statement fell into his ears and cradled  her face in his hands, "Maine kabhi tumse nafrat nahi ki, kabhi bhi nahi. Jab karna chahta tha tab bhi nahi kar paya. I will not justify my deeds because we both know I was unjust, completely brutal. Ye sach hai, maine tumse jo kuch kaha sirf sirf tumhe hurt karne ke liye kaha. I knew it was all bullshit, I never believed in any of those vile things I said to you in office. Mujhe laga tumhe Arvind Malik aur au...". No, his mother-in-law's name should not be taken in same sentence as that filth.("I never hated you Khushi, even when I tried to, I couldn't. I will not justify my deeds because we both know I was unjust, completely brutal. It is true, I said all that purely with intention to hurt you. I knew it was all bullshit, I never believed in any of those vile things I said to you in office. I thought you knew about Arvind Malik and Aunty")

"Mujhe laga tumhe sab phele se pata tha. Office mein...Khushi...you..you..looked so happy without me...I ...I wanted to hurt you so bad, like I was hurting. I know I have no justification for all that but I am truly sorry, Khushi. I know it is unforgivable."("I thought you knew everything since beginning.")

"Whenever I was hurt, I took it out on you. Hell! you didnt even needed to be reason behind it. I treated you like a punching bag. Jab bhi tumhe mere pyar ki zarurat thi,mer i zarurat thi, maine har baar tumhe dard hi diya hai. Kabhi jaane, kabhi anjaane. I am sorry Khushi. I know sorry is so small in front of my deeds but I am so deeply sorry. I regret it Khushi. I ll always regret it all. I know its hard to trust me par maine humesha tumse pyar kiya hai aur karta rahunga. Tum par bharosa karna nahi seekh paya tha aur aaj bhi uski saza mil rahi hai mujhe."

("Whenever I was hurt, I took it out on you. Hell! you didnt even needed to be reason behind it. I treated you like a punching bag. Whenever you needed love, I treated you with contempt, pain and hatred.At times intentionally, at times unknowingly. I am sorry Khushi. I know sorry is so small in front of my deeds but I am so deeply sorry. I regret it Khushi. I ll always regret it all. I know its hard to trust me but I love you, always had, always will. I could not learn to trust you and I am paying for it, so bad.")

"Agar Aarav nahi hota to tum shakal tak nahi dekhti meri, ye jaanta hun main. Bahut takleef hoti hai mujhe is baat se. Par Khushi,  Aarav hai aur uske hone se mujhe ek umeed hai ki sab khatam nahi hua hai. I can still salvage us. Itna kuch hone ke baad bhi pyar hai, vo nahi badla hai."

("I know, you wouldn't have looked at me but for Aarav. It hurts me. But we have Aarav and it gives me hope that not everything is lost. I can still salvage us. After everything love has remain unchanged ")

Khamoshiyan.. teri meri khamoshiyaan
Khamoshiyan.. lipti hui khamoshiyaan

Silences, yours and mine,
Silences, wrapped around us, silences..

Khushi kept looking at him, hooked to his words. She was feeling much better after letting things out. Like a relief. It felt good to know what he had felt. Yes, she was feeling a bit less hurt now. Arnav took her hand in his and asked her with all the love in world. He didn't care that he was being completely vulnerable, naked in his emotions. He had no fear of rejection. He was almost sure of it, habitual now. But still 1% was hope enough.

"Laut aao Khuhsi, it is soul-less without you. Main nahi jee sakta tumhare bina."("Come back Khushi. It is soulless without you, I cannot live without you")

It broke her trance. This sentence gave her a sense of dejavu. Khushi mujhse wada karo, mujhe kabhi chod kar nahi jaogi. Main tumhare bina nahi jee paunga. And he had thrown her away the very next day.(Promise Khushi, you wont ever leave me. I wont survive without you)

 "Jhoot, aap jhoot bol rahe hain. Uss din farmhouse mein bhi jhoot bola tha aapne. Aapne kabhi humse pyar kiya hi nahi!"("Its a lie! You are lying. Like you lied that day in farmhouse. You actually never loved me")

"I am not lying. I love you. I cannot move on dammit! Harr...har roz lagta hai shayad aaj tum maaf kar dogi mujhe, har roz umeed tut ti hai. It breaks me dammit!", he pulled her on his lap, holding her shoulders tight. She was straddled on his lap.("I am not lying. I love you. I cannot move on dammit! Every morning I feel you ll forgive me today and the hope breaks by every evening. It breaks me dammit!")

"Khushi, main bahot bahot pyar karta hun tumse. Aaj bhi vahin khada hun jaha tumne teen saal phele choda tha", he made her look into his eyes.  ("Khushi, I love you so much. I am still standing where you had stranded me, 3 years ago")

Kya us gali mein kabhi tera jaana hua
Jahaan se zamaane ko guzre zamaana hua
Mera samay to waheen pe hai thehra hua
Bataaun tumhe kya mere saath kya kya hua

Have you been to that street ever (again)
That the world hasn't passed by for long..
My time is stuck there only,
What do I tell you what has hardened with me..

"Humne, humne choda tha aapko? Ek aur jhoot!", she tried to jump out of his lap but he held on steadfast. ("I left you! Another lie!")

"Why would I lie dammit? You have no idea what I went through. I know its my fault but I am suffering too. Aise nahi jee sakta main, mujhse aur nahi hoga. You have to include me in your life. Khushi, main ab tumse door nahi reh sakta. I will not stay away from you!" ("Why would I lie dammit? You have no idea what I went through. I know its my fault but I am suffering too. You have to include me in your life. Khushi, I cant go on like this, I won't. I will not stay away from you!")

"Fir kaise rahe? Kaise ek jhatke mein nikal kar fekh diya humein apni zindagi se? Poore teen mahine aapne palat kar nahi dekha hum zinda bhi hain ya mar gaye. Ek baar aapko ye khayal nahi aaya ki-  Khushi kaise reh rahi hogi mere bina?  Ek baar nahi laga ki uss se maafi maang lu?"He had proved her every expectation to be nothing but foolishness. Her heart had burnt in misery when he didn't turn up even to say sorry.  

("Then how did you manage? How did you throw me out of your life in a seconds? You didn't turn back to know if I was alive or dead for whole three months. Didn't it occur to you even once, that how I was surviving without you? Didn't you feel it even once that you should come and apologize to me? ") 

Nadiya ka paani bhi khaamosh behta yahaan
Khili chaandni mein chhipi laakh khamoshiyan
Baarish ki boondon ki hoti kahaan hai zubaan
Sulagte dilon mein hai khaamosh uth-ta dhuaan

Even the river water flows silently here,
There are a million silences hidden in blossoming moonlight..
Where do raindrops ever have tongues,
In burning hearts, there is fog rising silently..

"Tum maaf kar deti mujhe agar main phele aa jata, tumse maafi maang leta, agar mujhe phele hi ehsaas ho jata apni galtiyon ka?", he held her waist to keep her from falling down as she beat him up with her small fists. Her soft heels edged into his back. Even they wanted to tell him how painful he had made things for them.("You would have forgiven me, had I realised my mistakes earlier?")

"Nahi. Nahi maaf karte. Aap ghunto par gidgidate tab bhi nahi. Par aapko maafi maangni chahiye thi. Kitna galat kia tha aapne, uski maafi maangni chahiye thi aapko.Lekin aap to ek baar dekhne tak nahi aaye, Di aur Naniji ko humse milne nahi diya. Ek baar palat kar nahi dekha ki hum zinda bhi hain. Aur aap humse pyar karte hain? Jee nahi payenge aap humare bina! Sab jhoot! Sirf jhoot! Hum aaj mar jayein, ek aah tak nahi nikelgi aapk...ahhh" 

("No. I wouldn't have. Not even if you went on your knees. But still you should have said sorry for all wrongs you had done to me. But you didn't come even once, not even for a glance. Forbade Di and Nani from meeting me. Not once you tried to know if I was even alive. And you claim to love me? You wont survive without me? Lies. It all lies. If I die today, you wont even sigh...ahhh")

His didnt let her complete as he crushed her lips with his own, biting hard into hers. Her punishment for talking about death. He ll never let her complete such disgusting sentences. She can kill him thousands times over for all his deeds, but not this. Already she had gone through it multiple times, thanks to him.

 He pulled back to look into her now aggressive eyes, her lips were stinging. "Kya hua? Sach suna nahi ja raha...Stop...Arnavji...aahh...aap humein sach bol...aaahh...kya kar rahe ho?", she rubbed her neck where he had just sucked fiercely.("Why? Dont have guts to hear trut...stop...aahh...you cant stop me from speaking trut...aaahh...what are you doing"). She was all breathless.

"Tumhe DIKHA raha hun. Kyunki sunai tumhe deta nahi hai", he pulled her into another passionate kiss, holding her head in place.("I am showing it to you coz you dont seem to able to hear it.")

"Tumse baar baar keh raha hun fir bhi tumhe jhoot hi lagta hai. I love you so much dammit. More than you know, more than I know", he spoke breathlessly as he touched his forehead with hers.("I am saying again and again but you still feel I am lying. I love you so much dammit! More than you know, more than I know")

"Jho...", words forgotten, she moaned loud as his thumb ran over her sore, swollen lip in a sensual tingling touch. Her hairs were floating in pool water as he bent her in his lap, her head supported itself over his hand on tiled boundary, as he continued placing hungry kiss all over her neck, nipping at her throat every now and then. She was curved into him like a bow, as his arm supporting her arched spine, his hand threaded into her scalp. Their intimate position was generating heat, wetting and hardening some places. She held tight onto his arms. It was friction, raw and sore. Both had become assertive, forgetting why they were here in first place.

"Jo bolna hai bolo, jitni galliyan deni hai do, tumhara haq hai. Maine galtiyaan hi itni ki hai. Par ye mat bolo ki main tumse pyar nahi karta. I love you Khushi, I really do", he leaned to place heated kisses on her closed eyes, cute little button nose, her cheeks and nipped her chin at last. Khushi opened her eyes to find his filled with love and only love, staring down into her soul, beseeching hers to trust that he loves her. This was her Arnav, now looking at her, into her soul. This was her man. She pulled him back, fusing his mouth to hers. Yes, she knew Arnav loves her. She loves him too.  ("Say whatever you want, abuse me,hit me,  its your right. I have made so many mistakes. But dont ever say that I dont love you, I love you Khushi, I really do ")

Arnav had long opened her dori, he was sucking on her back, placing love-bites, tormenting her haywire senses. Unable to bear it any longer, she turned around roughly. Her wet hair flew. They slapped his face, snapping him to real world. What the hell was he doing? Using her for his pleasure. So sick of him! She had just cried her heart out, opened up after ages and he was here, playing with her vulnerability. He got up and gave her a hand. "Chalo. Its late, lets sleep". 

Khushi looked at his now very rigid posture, the way he was struggling to control his desires. This is what melted her every single time. Her Arnav was still alive. He was worried for her even in throes of passion. Her wishes were more important for him. She took his hand and got up. 

Her decision was made. She pushed him to the wall behind, "Agar sab thik hota. To aaj humari third anniversary hoti. 3 saal phele ye humari suhaagraat hoti." ("Had things been alright, it would have been our third anniversary. # years ago, this would have been our first night")

Khamoshiyan aakaash hain
Tum udne to aao zara
Khamoshiyan ehsaas hain
Tumhe mehsoos hoti hain kya
Beqarar hain baat karne ko
Kehne do inko zara.. haan..

Silences are sky,
Come, lets fly..
Silences are feelings,
Can you feel them?
They're restless to talk to you,
Let them speak..

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

PRECAP:

"I ll never ever hurt you again. I promise."

"Fuck!!!       Bahot dard ho raha hai kya?( "Is it paining too much?")

********

PHEW! THAT WAS SOME SHITTY CRAP, I KNOW. IT IS 8600+. 

 ALWAYS READY FOR EGGS AND TOMATOES, NOT ROTTEN ONES, PLEASE? WELL, SHEETAL TRACK IS DIFF. FROM THE SHOW, SO NO WORRIES OKAY?

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