I feel like I'm constantly fishing for them. I think I figured out why. It's not like I don't get complements. It's just they're all surface level, based on appearance. They make me feel shallow, 2D. I want to be liked as more than just an image and I know that I am, I'm just not reminded, so if I ever reject surface level compliments I think I now know why. Another reason is that I'm not proud of myself so I need others to be. So maybe I can be a little selfish and make it about me or take things too far. But I know why. I'm the oldest of two, one of us has to pick up the middle child responsibilities, it just so happens to be me. I once tripped over my dog I was mid recovery when my shoe got stuck in the strap of my cello case and I plummeted to the floor. My endpin stabbed me in the leg, I knocked over a chair, dropped my laptop, hit my head on the floor and the dog fell. Nobody noticed. Nobody heard my sobs. But I'm not kidding you when I say the next day, my sister stubs her toe quietly from down the hall and my parents rush to her side. That was probably all I've the place but I hope you followed.