This chapter is dedicated to: 3rithrea

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I want to tell him I'm willing to go with him that day! Fuck, I'm even willing to defy my parents.

Pero para saan pa? To grieve for the things that almost happened? To remember how I almost made it? To cry for being almost there but still, I didn't make it. I failed, miserably.

"Y-you can leave me," pinapalis ang mga luhang sambit ko. Iginala ko ang aking paningin upang hanapin ang kotse ni Spencer ngunit hindi ko pa iyon nakikita ay muli ko nang narinig si Maverick.

"I won't leave you in this situation." He held my elbow. Iginiya niya ako patungo sa mga nakapark na sasakyan. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang wala sa sariling sumunod sa gusto niya.

"Let's go somewhere to calm you down."

"Mav, t-teka lang--" Pigil ko sana nang maalala si Spencer. I drag him here, I just can't leave him alone.

"You don't want to come?"

"Hindi naman sa gano'n--"

"Come on, Rylli. I won't leave you when you're in that state. Let's calm you down," he muttered and I obliged like a lifeless doll.

Sa panghihina ng aking katawan ay wala na akong nagawa. Chaileigh's words felt like a spear who freely penetrated my insides. Lalo na nang matanto kong tama ang sinasabi niya. She can't understand because I didn't let her. And those clothes I'm wearing, that I'm fucking strong with it are my delusions.

I was wrong. Sarado ang utak ko. For fucking seven years, I was wrong for thinking like that. Whatever the fuck I wear, it doesn't matter. Clothes won't define anyone.

My mind's still clouded with things about what Chaileigh said.

There's a deafening silence between the two of us until we arrived at the place he's saying.

The car stopped in front of a familiar ice cream shop. Namilog ang aking mga mata at marahas na nilingon si Maverick ngunit wala na siya sa driver seat.

Nang lumingon ako sa aking gawi ay nakita kong patungo na sa akin si Mav. He opened the passenger's door for me.

Marahan akong lumabas habang ang tingin ay nasa pamilyar na pangalan ng shop. The business name was carved at the top of the shop. Kahit gabi na ay kitang kita pa rin iyon dahil sa mga palamuti na nagmistulang ilaw upang maliwanagan iyon.

Narinig ko ang tunog ng sasakyan ni Maverick, hudyat ng pagsarado ng pinto nito.

"Why are we here?" I asked in a flat tone.

"To calm you down." A smile formed in his lips as he faced me while his suit is now in his hands.

"Wear this. Malamig," sambit niya bago ipinatong sa aking balikat ang kanyang suit. "Let's go?"

My lips parted as memories flashed back in my mind. Mapait akong napangiti dahil sa mga ala-alang naririto.

Nagpatianod ako at naglakad na papasok nang buksan niya ang pinto ng shop para sa akin.

The first thing I did after entering is look around the place. I can't help but smile when I sense familiarity in it. Its still the same as before. The table is in place as well as the chairs.

There's only a few costumers than usual. Siguro ay dahil disoras na ng gabi. At karamihan sa naroroon ay napalingon sa aming pagdating. Maybe because we're both wearing formal clothes.

I walked towards the place where Mav and I used to seat. Mukhang ganoon din ang plano ni Maverick na nakasunod sa aking likuran.

I stopped at the particular table just beside the glass wall. The one who's at the corner of the shop.

I sat at the chair. Maverick sat too in a chair who's in front of me. Ang bilog na table ang tanging naghihiwalay sa amin.

A staff immediately went towards our direction. Hindi ko alam kung sinenyasan ba iyon ni Maverick o kusa na kaming pinuntahan dahil iilan lang naman ang tao sa loob ng shop, kami lang ang bagong dating.

"Good evening, Ma'am, Sir. Here's the menu. May I know your order?" A woman who I think a year or two younger than me, wearing the shop's uniform approached us.

"Good evening." Pormal na bati ni Mav bago inabot ang menu mula sa staff. Though, he didn't look at it.

"What's yours?" He tilted his head. "The usual?"

He still remember? I slowly nodded at him.

I nodded his head once as he turned to the staff. "One dark chocolate with paprika and agave, one triple chocolate riccota and a blue cheese with pomegranate ripple too."

I smiled, he remember.

How I love this shop because of their unique ice cream. Noong una, nahihiwagaan pa 'ko sa mga nababasa sa menu. But after tasting it, hands down. I love the taste.

The staff repeated our orders to confirm it before leaving the two of us alone in the table.

"Bakit tatlo?" I asked.

"Taste their new one, the one with paprika ang agave. You'll like it."

Akmang sasagot ako nang marinig ko ang pagtunog ng aking telepono. I took my purse and fished my phone from it. Iyon lang ang laman ng aking purse at ang susi ng aking kotse. Though I'm riding at Spencer's car.

I glanced at my phone. Agad kong binalingan si Mav nang makita ang tumatawag. "I'll just answer this," paalam ko bago tuluyang sinagot ang tawag matapos niyang tumango.

"Spence--"

"Where are you?" Bungad niya. "Akala ko nabulok ka na sa restroom. I went at it and you're not there."

"I'm..." I trailed off as licked my lower lip. Upang muling basain ang nanunuyong labi. I met Maverick's eyes but immediately avoided it when I saw how intense his stares were.

I cleared my throat. "I'm not in the venue. I'm sorry if I--"

"What? Where are you? Anong wala ka sa venue? Umalis ka? Saan ka sumakay?"

Mariin akong napapikit nang muli niyang putulin ang aking mga salita. "Where do you think? Of course, sa may gulong."

"Malay ko ba kung sa saranggola--"

"Nakakatawa 'yon?" Sarkastikong sambit ko sa kanya at tila ba nakikita ko na ang nalulukot niyang mukha dahil sa asar. "Anyway, don't mind me. I'm safe. I'm really sorry for leaving you."

Natahimik ang kabilang linya ngunit alam kong naroon pa si Spence. "Sigurado kang ayos ka lang?" Tanong niya ilang segundo ng katahimikan ang nakalipas.

"Yes--"

"Mukhang hindi. Tell me where are you, I'll fetch you."

I frowned like he can see it. "I said I'm okay."

"Talaga ba? Hindi, eh. May mali talaga. Dalawang beses ka nagsorry, Rylli. Sinasapian ka ba?"

I heaved a sarcastic audible breath. What the fuck? I thought he's serious on whatever he's saying. "Fuck you to death, Spence." Walang emosyong sambit ko bago ko narinig ang halakhak niya. That made me assume he's not in a public place or alone wherever he is rather.

Hindi ko na hinintay na magsalita pa siya at agad ng tinapos ang tawag.

"I'm sorry about that," I apologized to Maverick. Kasabay noon ang pagdating ng order namin.

The staff is placing the tray on our table when my phone beeped, indicating that a message came.

Sinulyapan ko iyon at agad na binuksan nang makitang kay Spencer galing ang mensahe.

Spencer:

Come on, Ry. Tell me where are you?

I started typing the name of the shop as I pressed the send button. I put the phone in silence after bringing it back in my purse.

I watched Maverick as he opened the lid of the ice creams and pushed the triple chocolate riccota towards my direction, as well as the new flavor that he's telling me.

"Nakapunta ka... na ulit dito?" I mean, he knew the new flavor and probably tasted it already.

"Hmm. When I have time. I missed their ice creams."

I gave him a reserved smile. At sino namang kasama niya? Maybe his prim and proper girlfriend, though I can't imagine her inside this shop. I mean, she looks conscious on her diet.

I slowly nodded my head. "The last time I went here was I think seven years ago--" Agad akong natigilan sa sinasabi. I don't know if we're allowed to talk about the past. I mean, if he's cool with it.

I bit my lower lip, stopping myself from saying anything. Instead, I focused on eating the ice cream in front of me.

Gusto ko siyang tanungin kung kailan pa siya nakabalik, because the last time I checked he has no plans on coming back here in the Philippines. Ngunit pinigilan ko ang sarili sa pagtatanong. That would be too personal.

"How are you feeling? You alright already?" He asked after a few minutes of deafening silence between the two of us. I glanced at his tub and saw the one fourth of it emptied already.

I suddenly remember why we're in here. Because of Chaileigh's words that I realized were all true. I smiled at him. "I'm alright. Thank you for... bringing me here and for your time."

"No problem," he answered as he returned my smile. I can't explain how my heart moved when he did it. Tila hindi magkamayaw ang lamang-loob sa loob ng aking katawan.

Nakangiting binalingan ko ang dalawang tub sa aking karapan. Salitan ang pagkuha ko sa magkaibang flavor ng ice cream bago inurong ang dalawang iyon upang alukin siya. "You want?" I asked.

He stared at me. Natigil siya sa kinakakain at napatitig sa akin.

When he didn't answer, I started scooping a spoonful of dark chocolate ice cream with paprika and agave as I transferred it to his tub. Doon ko nilagay sa parteng wala ng laman, like what I'm always doing before. Ilang ulit ko pang ginawa iyon bago ako natulos at natigilan sa aking kinauupuan.

What the fuck are you doing, Rylli! Nahihibang ka na ba? Shit!

Tumikhim ako at napaayos ng upo. "S-sorry." I cleared my throat again before completely turning to my food.

I was inwardly cursing myself. At laking pasalamat ko nang walang marinig na kahit ano mula kay Maverick. I don't even want to meet his eyes because I can't handle whatever his reaction is.

"I'm sorry."

Inangat ko ang aking tingin nang marinig ang sinambit niya. "H-huh?" I asked, checking if I heard it right.

He directly looked at me. "I'm sorry, Rylli. About what I said last time at the conference room. I know it isn't enough because the damage has been done but still, I want you to know I'm sorry."

Napakurap ako nang maalala ang sinasabi niya. Mapait akong napangiti nang bumalik ang kirot sa aking dibdib. "O-okay lang. I mean, I don't know why did those words escaped from your mouth but maybe somehow, that's what you think of me."

Hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan kung ano ang nagawa ko para masabi niya ang mga salita na iyon.

"No, no, Rylli. I know you for years, you're not--"

He stopped when I smiled while lips were pressed.

"I was blinded by anger and I'm not thinking that time. I'm sorry, Rylli."

Akmang sasagot pa ako nang may tumawag sa aking pangalan.

"Rylli." It was Spence. Bahagya pang namilog ang aking mga mata nang makita siya. Hindi ko namalayan na nakalapit na siya sa aming kinaroroonan.

"I was looking for you--" He stopped maybe when he realized that I'm not alone. "I see, you're with someone-- Mr. Markov!" Bati niya matapos makilala ang aking kaharap.

Bumaling ako kay Mav. I caught how his eyes plastered a cold stare as he rose from his seat.

Malamig na hinarap niya si Spencer kaya naman napatayo rin ako sa aking kinauupuan.

"Don't let your girlfriend leave when she's crying. Man up and don't be an ass." Malamig na sambit nito kay Spencer na nakapagpamilog ng aking mga mata. Naabutan pa iyon ni Maverick nang lumingon siya sa aking direksyon.

"I'll go ahead, Rylli." Pormal na paalam niya at hindi na ako nakasagot dahil sa agaran niyang paglalakad palayo sa akin ni Spence.

Sinundan ko siya ng tingin hanggang sa makalabas siya ng shop. And when he did, I turned to the glass wall to see him ride his car.

Nang mawala sa aking paningin ang kanyang sasakyan ay noon ko binalingan si Spencer.

"Bakit parang kasalanan ko?" Kunwaring madramang sambit ni Spence.

Nakangising napailing ako at bumalik sa pagkakaupo.

"What happened? What are you doing here?"

"Kumakain--"

He gave me a mocking face. "Aside from that, Rylli." Sarkastikong sambit niya.

I rolled my eyes at him as I told him what happened, the part when I saw Chaileigh and the things that she said.

And I'm thankful that he didn't forced me to tell him things I don't want to.

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