Maverick's eyes stayed on me for a long time. The deafening silence between us vanished as the wind blew that made me shiver.

"Tell me why are we here, Rylli." Tumagilid ang ulo niya, sinisipat ang aking mga mata.

"I'll understand if you'll be mad at me after this."

A frown formed in his forehead. "Tell me what is it and why would I be mad at you, huh?"

My chest tightened upon remembering it, that I want to clenched my chest but I stopped myself from doing so. Not in front of Maverick. "D–Draven got me pregnant," I confessed.

Ngunit hindi iyon ang rason kung bakit ngayon ko lang ito naamin sa kanya. Natatakot ako sa ano man ang magiging reaksyon niya dahil sa ginawa ko matapos malaman na nagbunga ang ginawa ni Draven.

Nawala ang kunot ng noo niya. All emotion in his face vanished, making him hard to read. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at nagdesisyong magpatuloy.

"I planned to abort it but in the end, I didn't. But months after giving birth to the baby, I–I left her in an orphanage." My voice is becoming inaudible as I continue, tila nauubusan ako ng hangin. I can't even stop myself from stammering.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at pilit na sinalubong ang mga mata niya. "I–I'm sorry, Mav. W–will you still accept me after knowing those?" I chew my lower lip.

An emotion is present in Maverick's eyes. Hindi ko mabasa iyon ngunit tila nabunutan ako nang tinik nang makita ang emosyong iyon.

We're staring at each other's eyes for a quite while before he sighed. "I love you, Rylli," he stated. And the way he said it was enough for me to know what his reaction is. "Why are you even saying sorry?"

"B–because of what I did to the... baby."

He heaved an audible breath. "Are you happy? Do you think your decision is right? Was it worth it?"

Marahang bumuka ang aking mga labi. "It w–wasn't right but that helps me... to continue. H–hindi ako makakatagal kung araw-araw kong nakikita ang bata na bunga ng ginawa sa akin ni Draven. I won't k–kill myself but I'll probably lose my mind as the days passed by and I'm seeing the kid. I'm sorry."

"Haven of Hope Orphanage," basa ni Maverick sa arko papasok ng bahay-ampunan. "Dito mo ba dinala ang bata?"

I shut my eyes closed and nod. "Yes."

"Then why are we here? Are you ready to see her?" he asked using his baritone voice, it was laced with concern. "I'm not saying that what you did is right. That's wrong and you know it."

"I... am. I guess." Somehow, the thought of Draven behind bars made me at ease. Tila may parte rin sa akin na nabunutan ng tinik matapos niyang mahatulan.

"What's your plan? Do you want your daughter back?"

"I do." But I don't know if it'll be better for her to be with me. I don't know if she'll accept me despite what I did. At lalong hindi ko alam kung makabubuti ba na kuhanin ko siya mula sa bahay-ampunan na ito. I'm afraid I'll just make things worst for her.

And... I'm still not sure on who's my daughter or if she's still in this orphanage. Ngunit sa ngayon, ang mga kwento ni Mother Josie sa kung paano nila nakuha si Amethyst ay ang pinakatumutugma sa kung paano ko iniwan ang aking anak.

At first, I really thought Hetty's my daughter. Malapit si Spencer sa bata at dahil na rin sa sinabi ni Hetty na iniwan din siya sa labas ng bahay-ampunan.

Though, I haven't talk to whoever got Hetty. Gusto kong malaman mula rito ang kung paano niya nakuha si Hetty.

Ngunit kung iisipin, may posibilidad na hindi rin isa sa dalawang bata ang anak ko. Dahil tulad nga ng sinabi ng madre, maraming sanggol ang basta na lamang iniwan sa ampunan tulad ng aking ginawa. 

Sinuyod ko ang kabuuan ng bahay-ampunan gamit ang aking mga mata. Amethyst is the first one I recognized. I immediately stretched the corner of my lips for a smile when our eyes met. She's seating at her usual spot, still alone.

I waved at her but she immediately adverted her eyes away from me. I felt Maverick's hand caressed my back as he caught what Amethyst did.

No one spoke in between us but seems like we both know what to do. I stride towards where Amethyst is seating. Tahimik akong umupo sa tabi niya dahil walang imik din siyang nakatanaw sa malayo. While Mav stayed silently standing in front of us.

Amethyst's eyes shifted on me. "What are you two doing here again? I told you, I'm not your daughter."

We visited the orphanage for few times in a month already and Amethyst's always like this. Sa loob ng ilang beses na pagbalik namin ni Maverick sa bahay-ampunan ay alam ko na ang ugali ni Amethyst.

She'll shut everyone who's trying to be with her, acting like she doesn't care and irritated. But I know, deep inside she's longing for it. She wants someone who'll still be with her despite what she's doing.

"Still, can't we visit you?" I asked. We're actually here not just to find my daughter but somehow, to connect with Amethyst and for Hetty, too.

A part of me is hoping that one of them is my child. May kung ano sa akin na nasasaktan para kay Amethyst, lalo na nang malaman ko ang ginawa ng mag-asawang umampon sa bata, na basta na lamang ibinalik si Amethyst sa bahay-ampunan nang malaman na magkakaroon na ito ng sariling anak. Si Hetty naman ay napalapit na rin siya sa akin.

Magaan ang loob ko sa dalawa. I felt like I'll be more at peace when my daughter is one of the two. But that doesn't mean I'll refuse my daughter if she's not one of them.

"For what? Are you planning to adopt me?" I hinted a sarcasm in her voice. She grimaced and shook her head. "Kung iyon man ang dahilan kung bakit naririto kayo, itigil niyo na. Ayokong magpaampon. Hindi ako aalis dito."

What happened became a traumatic experience for her. At hindi ko mapigilan na hindi magalit sa dating umampon sa bata.

"Amethyst," marahang tawag ni Maverick sa bata upang makuha ang pansin nito bago lumuhod upang pantayan ang nakaupong si Amethyst. "Not everyone is like your former foster parents. Time will come and someone would adopt you because they saw something unique in you. And maybe, this time they'll love and treat you as their own, unlike what the first one who adopted you did."

"What if they're the same?" Agarang tanong ni Amethyst her head tilted to Maverick with her raised brows.

Mav smiled. "They're not. I promise you that."

The kid rolled her eyes but Maverick just chuckled as he already knew too that Amethyst didn't mean it. "How can you be so sure? And how can you say that? You do know someone who wants to adopt me?"

Mav's eyes shifted towards mine. We stared at each other for a while and it was enough for us to talk without saying a word. I let the corner of my lips rose as he turned his eyes to Amethyst again.

"Do you want that, huh? Say, someone would adopt you again."

Mav and I were planning to adopt Hetty and Amethyst if that's alright with them. Sasabihan ko rin si Spencer kung makapagdesisyon nga kami ni Maverick na ampunin ang dalawa dahil alam kong malapit siya kay Hetty, at sigurado naman akong papayag si Spencer.

Maverick actually suggested it, maybe the moment he realized that I'm not here just because of my daughter.
We're still thinking about the possibilities, reason why we still can't decide and tell the two kids about it.

We're still weighing things. Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ba namin. Ayaw kong mapasama pa ang sitwasyon nang dalawa dahil sa plano naming ampunin sila. If we'll adopt them, I want it to be on their own will. At gusto ko ring siguraduhin na kaya kong panindigan ang binabalak na gawin.

"Someone?" The intonation of her voice rose at the end. "Who?"

"Let's say, your Tita Rylli and I—"

"You just think I'm your daughter that's why you want to adopt me."

My heart plummeted into my stomach upon hearing her words. "Amethyst." I swallowed as I felt my throat went dry. "It's not what you think. If you'll permit, we might adopt you and we'll treat you as our daughter. We won't force you to agree but... I hope you'll trust us."

"At paano ako kung magkaroon kayo ng anak?"

I smiled. "You're still our daughter. You'll be our child's sister."

Nahihiwagaan niya akong tinitigan. "You will adopt me? Why? Are you two married?"

Felt like my words got stuck in my throat. We're not married but I think we can still adopt.

"We can still adopt you even your Tita Rylli and I were not yet married." It was Maverick who answered and I nodded to assure Amethyst.

But a word caught my attention. "Yet?" I glanced at Maverick with a bit smirk in my lips. Bago pa siya makasagot ay may tumawag na sa amin.

"Amaryllis? Maverick?"

We all turned to where the voice came from. Napatayo ako sa kinauupuan at agad na sumilay ang ngiti sa aking mga labi nang makita si Mother Josie.

"Magandang araw po."

Sinuklian niya kami ng ngiti at matamang tango. "Magandang araw din. Maaari ko ba kayong makausap?" Sandali siyang sumulyap sa gawi ni Amethyst na nanatiling nakaupo.

I nodded.

Iginiya kami ng madre palayo kay Amethyst at sa ibang mga bata.

"Mukhang napapadalas ang dalaw niyo rito?" Makahulugang sambit ng madre matapos ang ilang hakbang palayo kay Amethyst habang may multong ngiti sa mga labi.

I nibbled my lower lip and suppress the smile coming out of it. I felt Maverick's hand crawled on my back. "Binibisita lang ho namin ang mga bata."

"Binibisita?" Nahihiwagaang sambit ni Mother Josie. Like she's not believing me. Her eyes narrowed while alternately looking at us. "Magsabi nga kayo, kayo ba ay nagbabalak na mag-ampon?"

Are we that obvious? I mean— well, maybe. Ngayon lang naman din kami madalas na nagpapabalik-balik dito. At first, it was because of my daughter. Hindi ko akalain na aabot kami sa ganitong sitwasyon. And I'm glad we're here.

"We're still not decided, Mother Josie," Maverick answered.

"Ayos lang ba iyon sa 'yo, hijo?"

Mav offered her a warm smile. "Wala pong problema sa akin iyon."

My heart fluttered at his answer. Adopting is a big responsibility but seems like it wasn't a bit deal for Maverick. He suggested it and told me we can adopt Hetty and Amethyst and we will still find my daughter.

We're still sensitive when it comes to topic relating to Draven but my daughter becomes an exception.

Lumawak ang ngiti ng madre at lumitaw ang ilang guhit sa gilid ng mga mata nito, bakas ng busilak sa puso na kasiyahan. "Malapit kayo kay Hetty at mukhang nawiwili rin kayo kay Amethyst."

I nodded.

"Maaari namang mag-ampon ng dalawa at mukha namang may kakayahan kayong magpalaki ng dalawang bata," she stated.

"Ngunit kung si Hetty ang isa sa binabalak niyong ampunin ay ipagpaumanhin niyo ngunit ayaw ipaampon ni Spencer si Hetty," Mother Josie continue that made my eyes blinked as I shifted my weight.

Nalukot ang aking noo at napapantastikuhang sinulyapan ang madre. "Ano po?"

"Malaki ang utang na loob namin sa batang iyon kaya't marami mang nagbalak kumuha kay Hetty ay hindi namin iyon napahintulutan dahil kay Spencer."

Maraming nagbalak! Of course, Hetty is a bright child. Masiyahin din at masigla kaya't hindi na kataka-taka kung marami ngang gustong umampon dito. But Spencer, stopping Hetty from getting adopted caught my attention.

"Did he tell a reason why?" Maverick asked.

"Wala siyang sinabing dahilan ngunit alam naming lahat na dahil iyon sa napalapit na siya sa bata."

Malapit si Spencer sa bata at alam niya na maaaring gusto ni Hetty na magkaroon ng sariling pamilya. Kaya bakit ayaw niyang may umampon sa bata. Unless he doesn't want Hetty to leave this orphanage.

And why would he even—

My heart started pounding against my ribcage. Dahil iyon sa unti-unting hinuha na nabubuo sa aking isipan.

"Noong araw na napunta rito si Hetty ay noon din namin nakilala si Spencer. Nagbigay siya ng malaking donasyon at kaya't nang magpresintang siya ang magbibigay ng pangalan kay Hetty ay hinayaan namin ito. Wala rin naman kaming alam sa tunay na pangalan ng bata dahil sanggol pa lamang ito at basta na lamang iniwan."

Mother Josie continued but my mind is already flying somewhere. I felt Maverick's hand gently gripped my shoulder. Tila may naiisip na rin ito tungkol sa sinasabi ni Mother Josie.

I remember how mad Spencer is when I left my child in this orphanage. He didn't talk to me for weeks. Hindi kami nagkita noong mga sumunod na linggo at wala akong ideya kung ano ang mga ginawa niya.

"Halos araw-araw ang balik ng batang iyon dito at laging may dalang donasyon. Ngunit alam namin na isa lang iyon sa mga dahilan niya upang balik-balikan si Hetty. Inakala nga naming siya ang ama ng bata. Miski ang apelyido ni Hetty ay siya ang nagbigay kaya't lalong tumindi ang aming hinala ngunit parati niyang itinatanggi iyon. Hindi raw mapupunta sa bahay-ampunan ang bata kung siya ang ama nito."

Spence even gave her a surname?

"Nasaan nga po pala si H–Hetty? Hindi po namin siya napansin," I asked after recovering and her words becomes clear again. "A–ano pong ipinanggalan ni Spencer sa bata?"

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