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POE DAMERON STOOD WAITING AT THE LANDING BAYS IN ANTICIPATION.

His eyes flickered with excitement as he saw The Falcon slowly lower into landing. Lila was on there.

His Lila.

Lila on the other hand, was the furthest from excited.

Yes, she'd be seeing Poe and that was a great thing, whether it was awkward or not.

It didn't matter at this moment, none of it did.

Right now all Lila wanted was her dad.

Chewie was the first to get off, carrying Finn off to get him to the Medic.

Rey gave her a look of sympathy, "We should go out and see everyone."

Lila just nodded.

How could she even face the base? She couldn't even save her own father. Ben even had his lightsaber inches away from her neck for gods sake! She was stupid to think she could ever use that lightsaber again, she was stupid to think that she even had the slightest chance to piece back her family.

Uncle Luke had taught her all these ways of the force, yet she couldn't even use one single bit of her training to save her dad? Why couldn't she just bring herself to reconnect with the force. Of course, she always felt the force around her. But something in her brain was just stopping her from ever using it to her full ability.

Any time she had ever tried to meditate, even levitate something, images of the Jedi Temple flashed in her mind. Why should she even use the force, if some of her best friends would never get the chance to reach that potential after they were slain by her brother?

Why couldn't her stupid mind just get over what happened and she could've stopped Ben and saved her dad?

She finally managed to bring herself to get off the ship and when she exited, saw all the anticipated Resistance fighters and most importantly, her mom.

When she came face to face with her mother Lila knew that she had felt it.

Poe, grinning, instantly walked towards her but when he noticed her, emotionless and tear stained face, he abruptly stopped, confused. But when he looked back up at the Falcon and saw Han Solo had not got off, he knew what was wrong.

He stepped back as he watched Leia approach her daughter and pull her into an embrace.

Lila held onto her mother tightly, as if she was the only person she had left. It felt like she was.

With both hands Leia lifted her daughters head up, "It's going to be all right."

"Mom— it was Ben." Lila just managed to get out in a hoarse whisper.

Leia sighed and pulled her daughter back in for one more hug.

"Go rest, you deserve it." Leia smiled, before wiping one of the stray tear that fell down Lila's cheek. Leia had to put this brave face on for her daughter. Lila had already been through so much, Leia had to be strong, not only for the Resistance, but for Lila.

Lila excused herself, pacing towards her room, not wanting anyone else to see her broken look.

On her way back to her room, she felt footsteps approach behind her.

"Lila—"

The voice belonged to Poe.

Lila stopped in her tracks, her back to him, "What Poe?"

"I wanted to see if you were okay." He replied, sincerity and concern laced in his soft tone.

"I'm fine Poe. Okay— I just want to be alone."

"No you don't."

"And how do you know what I want and don't want Poe?" She snapped, her emotions getting the better of her.

"Because I know you, Lila. I know exactly what your thinking."

She turned to face him, "What then Poe? Enlighten me."

"You think it's your fault—"

"I was actually thinking of going to sleep but sure—" She shrugged.

Poe raised an eyebrow, "C'mon Lil." He took a step towards her, both of them eyeing each other in the empty corridor.

Lila sighed, giving in, "I couldn't save him Poe." Her voice cracked slightly.

Poe shook his head, "Your never going to get over it if your constantly in that mind set Lila! I wish you could see for one moment that the galaxy isn't against you! Your literally— the best, the kindest, the most gorgeous person I know but I have to stand here and listen to you constantly doubt yourself! It breaks my heart Lila!"

She furrowed her eyebrows, "I— I don't know what to say."

Poe took another step towards her, them now being only inches apart from each other. "You don't even have to say anything. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that—"

Lila's eyes averted to the ground, "What did I do to deserve you Poe?"

"What did I do to deserve you Lila?"

She rolled her eyes, "This is getting to sappy."

"Stop avoiding conversations by always saying 'it's sappy'"

"I literally never do that—"

Poe let out a small laugh, "I can name about three hundred different occasions where you have done that."

When Lila was with Poe and Poe was with Lila, everything felt okay. Even though everything was certainly not okay.

With Poe, Lila could forget everything that was happening around her, nothing else mattered when she was with Poe.

Poe searched longingly into Lila's stare, a small ounce of hope that even though after he kissed her, thinks could either return to normal, or, in the best possible case, Lila could feel something back.

Lila rested her head in Poe's chest, "Why have things been so awkward between us? What even happened Poe?"

"I screwed up. I kissed you— I shouldn't have."

"I screwed up too. I shouldn't have ran away."

Poe widened his eyes, confusion slightly lingering in him, as to what that comment meant. God he was reading way to into things.

And jeez Poe. Her dad just died, she definitely knows what's she thinking right now.

"What do you mean by that Lil?" He asked, breaking the short lived silence.

"I mean—" She let in a quick breath. Her thoughts flowing through her way to quick to keep up. For once, she just pushed away the conflicting thoughts that were overwhelming her indecisive mind and for once let her heart take the better of her.

Just as she was leaning in, Poe realised what she was doing. Shocked and overall delighted, he leaned in slowly too and just as their lips were about to meet:

"Hey Poe have you seen Lila? She seemed really upset when she came off the ship." Rose Tico asked, who happened to be a good friend of Lila's.

What Rose hadn't realised is that behind Poe was Lila, who hastily pulled away from leaning in and cleared her throat, "Oh—sorry Rose, yeah I'm okay. That's for— checking in."

Rose skeptically glanced between them both, "Am I interrupting something..?"

Lil quickly shook her head, "No—no, not at all. Poe was just...checking in too! But it's fine— I'm okay, I'll speak to you soon Rose— and you Poe, alright? I think I'm gonna head off to bed."

Poe was actually screaming inside.

This close.

This close to kissing her.

He cleared his throat also and smiled at Lila before excusing himself to walk away with Rose, "Come see me if you need anything." She nodded gratefully before Rose gave her a parting smile and left.

Lila let out a breath she had been holding in.

Oh my god.

Everything felt like it was moving too fast.

She instantly rushed back into her room and gazed at herself in the mirror.

Lila shut her eyes tightly and thought of her Dad, trying to hold back any tears that were threatening to cascade down her face.

But then she thought of Poe. How she leaned in to kiss him.

Then a thought occurred to her that hadn't even crossed her mind, making her think even more.

Jedi weren't suppose to love.

Luckily Lila quickly dismissed that thought. As much hope as she had for everything to go back the way it was, when a whole new generation of Jedi were training, herself included, it simply could not.

She didn't even know if she was classed as a Jedi any more.

Or if anyone could be classed as one.

All these thoughts at once.

Lila really hated her brain some days and this was definitely one of those days.

As much as she wanted to grieve her late father, she was in the midst of a war here. She could be out on her next mission tomorrow.

Just before her thoughts spiralled off once more, a soft knock at the door made Lila jumps slightly, "Come in." She answered and the door slowly opened to reveal her mom. "Oh. Hi mom."

"Hello sweetheart— how are you feeling?"

"I mean— great! My dad just died and I think I just completely ruined the best friendship I ever had but still, good old' Lila— always jumping over these obstacles..." she trailed off her words slightly.

Leia rolled her eyes at her daughters sarcasm, "Talk to me. I mean come on— we haven't had a proper talk in a while."

Leia sat down and Lila sat next to her. "I just feel like I could've saved him... I guess."

"Lila Solo! You can't possibly put that blame on yourself. That's not fair on you. What happened wasn't your fault. You couldn't have stopped it."

"But I'm supposed to be some sort of Jedi mom. It was my job to save him."

Leia sighed, "Why do you put this must pressure on yourself? When your ready you pick back up that lightsaber and you reconnect with your teachings. Your not in a rush. Don't put the morals of a Jedi on your back and let it drag you down."

Damn, her mom always knew what to say.

"And Poe." Lila mumbled.

Leia smirked, "Well, what about Poe?"

"He kissed me."

Leia widened her eyes, even though she already expected this, "He did?"

Lila picked up on her voice and glared at her suspiciously, "Why do I have a feeling you were expecting me to say that?"

Leia shrugged, "Wouldn't know. But- what happened?"

She looked away sheepishly, "I ran away. This was before the mission with Dad. I ran away and then just now— we were about to kiss again and then we got interrupted and I'm scared mom. I mean Poe's my best friend. I don't want to lose that."

"It's all about whether your willing to take the risk. Whether you have the hope or the feeling that it would work out. My personal opinion? Go for it. Because your never gonna know if there is something there unless you give it a chance. Destiny will plays its role and I promise you everything f will work out in the end." Lila nodded at her mother, she really did need this conversation, "Now get some sleep Lil' you look exhausted."

Lila nodded as her mother got up and left her room, leaving Lila to her own thoughts.