🌟"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." - Vicki Harrison🌟

★★★★★

As my gaze swept across the desolate playground, a faint echo reverberated in my ears—a distant symphony of laughter and carefree footsteps, like remnants of a forgotten joy.

My heart skipped a beat, as I searched around and eyes fixated on a figure. It was Ethan. His innocent laughter echoing through the empty expanse, piercing the silence with its pure and untamed delight.

In that moment, my face broke into a tender smile, a fleeting respite from the uncertainties that plagued me for years. But how could it be possible?

"Ethan!" I called out with relief and affection, a lifeline thrown across the void.

"Wait for me!"

He was moving across the playground and near the busy road.

No. This is not happening.

My legs moved with a newfound urgency, steps propelled by a desperate need to bridge the distance that separated them. But as I drew closer, a disquieting transformation began to unfold.

His laughter wavered, his once lively movements slowed, and a veil of sorrow descended upon his cherubic face. "No, Ethan!" I pleaded him to stop, my voice cracking under the weight of my desperate plea.

"Stay with me!"

But my words dissolved into the ether, lost in the void of a cruel fate. Like a fragile mirage, he began to fade before my eyes, slipping through my desperate grasp like sand through an outstretched hand.

I extended my trembling fingers, futilely reaching for the remnants of his, aching to hold onto him, to protect him from the encroaching darkness.

But he was gone.

I stirred from a restless sleep, my heart still racing from the vivid nightmare that had plagued my dreams.

Beads of sweat dotted my forehead, evidence of the intensity of the nocturnal battle I had just fought. Slowly, my eyes fluttered open, and I found solace in the familiar sights of my new college dorm room. The walls adorned with posters, the cluttered desk, and the stack of books waiting to be explored—they all served as a comforting reminder of reality.

Taking a deep breath, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and planted my feet on the cool wooden floor. I ran a hand through my disheveled hair, trying to shake off the lingering remnants of the nightmare. The room was silent, save for the distant noise from outside the window.

The nightmare never stopped. Each night brought forth a new scene, a new setting for the torment to unfold. Sometimes I would find him in a labyrinth of endless corridors, his laughter echoing through the maze as I frantically pursued his fleeting figure. Other times, I would see him standing on the precipice of a towering cliff, his eyes filled with a desperate longing, teetering on the edge of oblivion. And in the darkest corners of my nightmares, I would witness him trapped in a never-ending cycle of pain, his tear-streaked face etched with a desolation that pierced her soul.

I have accepted my faith. This is my doing and have to co-exist with it.

Gathering my resolve, I stood up and made my way to the small ensuite bathroom. The cold tiles sent a shiver up my spine, but the chill was invigorating, like a gentle nudge to wake me up fully. I splashed cool water on my face, feeling its refreshing touch cleanse away the remnants of the lingering fear.

Looking into the mirror, I saw my own reflection staring back at me—eyes wide with determination, a faint flicker of unease still lingering within. But there was something else too, the promise of new beginnings that awaited me outside the confines of this room.

I took a moment to collect myself, to gather strength from within, and then I stepped out into the world beyond my nightmares. The hallway outside was filled with the sounds of life—laughter, chatter, and the occasional hurried footsteps of other students. Each sound served as a reminder that I was not alone, that this new college experience was meant to be shared.

I am looking forward to have a roommate soon. I shifted here much earlier to familarize myself with the surroundings and plan things out.

Where else could I possibly be? - my consciousness seem to have a great laugh.

As I made my way down the corridor, I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation building within me. I had chosen this path, this new chapter in my life, and now it was time to embrace it fully. The nightmare may have rattled me, but it would not define me.

With renewed determination, I opened the door to the communal kitchen, the smell of fresh coffee and toast wafting through the air. The room was abuzz with activity—friendly faces, animated conversations, and the clinking of cutlery against plates. It was a welcoming sight, a place where connections could be forged, friendships formed.

I poured myself a cup of coffee, its warmth radiating through the ceramic mug, and took a sip, relishing the familiar taste. As the bitter liquid flowed down my throat, it seemed to wash away the last remnants, replacing them with a newfound sense of purpose.

I found an empty seat nearby the window, surrounded by a group of students engaged in lively discussion.

Rain splattered all over the window as I sat. I planned this day in my head several times, stayed up all night because of the anxiety, but reminded myself that everything will be okay and it won't be the same.

I am normal.

No one will judge me, until they have access to look into my past.

Looking out of the blurred window, the campus looked huge. True - I did my research and found few facts but nowhere it was mentioned that it looks this good in person.

With each breath, I repeated "Everything is going to be fine," feeling the rhythm of the chant synchronizing with the steady beating of my heart. It became a cadence that guided me, leading me away from the darkness of the past and towards the light of a brighter future.

Moving back to my room, the small stall of the bathroom became my sanctuary, a space where I could wash away the weariness.

As the steam rose, I closed my eyes, allowing my mind to wander, allowing the water's embrace to cleanse not just my body but also my thoughts. The rhythmic patter of droplets against the tiled walls became a meditative backdrop, offering solace and introspection.

Stepping out of the stall, I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel, feeling the softness against my skin. I gazed into the mirror, meeting my own eyes with a sense of purpose.

The dampness on my skin gradually evaporating, leaving a lingering sense of freshness. The nightmare that had plagued me earlier seemed like a distant memory now, replaced by a quiet confidence that whispered, "You can handle whatever comes your way."

And so, I dressed in clothes that reflected my newfound optimism, a crop top, paired with a cardigan, and a pair of 👖 jeans's embracing me like a second skin.

As I started walking towards the gate of the college, my heart was pounding with excitement and nervousness. I had been waiting for this day for months, dreaming alone about the college life, few friends I will make, and the opportunities that would come my way.

I was greeted by the sight of a large group of students, all bustling with energy and excitement. I made my way to the registration desk.

"How may I help you?" a friendly face greeted me as I stepped into the bustling school office, my heart fluttering.

"I am Hope, Hope Edwards. I am a new student," I replied, my voice carrying a hint of anticipation.

Her warm smile widened as she reached for a stack of papers, swiftly retrieving my schedule. With a gentle hand, she handed it to me.

"Welcome, Hope," she said, her voice filled with genuine warmth. "You're in for an exciting journey here. That way," she pointed to my left, "is where you'll have your introductory session. It's a great way to get to know your fellow classmates and familiarize yourself with the school."

I nodded, grateful for her guidance and the sense of belonging her words conveyed.

I looked around the massive auditorium; rows upon rows of seats facing a large stage. The ceiling was high, and the walls were adorned with beautiful murals depicting scenes from the history of the college.

I made myself comfortable in the second row from the front, just behind faculties. Looking back, I saw most students preferred the back seats.

The session began with a speech by the college president, who welcomed us to the campus and encouraged us to make the most of our college experience. Various faculty members and student leaders took the stage to discuss different aspects of campus life, including academics, extracurricular activities, and student organization.

After a brief meeting with my advisor, I headed off to my first class, feeling both excited and apprehensive. Walking into the class, I could feel the excitement in the air. The classroom was already buzzing and I was eager to join in.

The classroom was fairly small, with rows of desks facing a whiteboard at the front of the room. There were a few windows along one wall, letting in natural light, and a clock above the door ticking away the minutes.

The squeak of the door disrupted the quietude of the classroom as more students filed in, finding their respective seats. I settled into the back row, my eyes drawn to the expanse of windows.

The professor walked in, the shuffle of papers, the opening and closing of notebooks, and the settling of students signaled the imminent start of the class. The silence settled upon us, wrapping us in its embrace, as the professor prepared to share their wisdom and ignite our intellectual curiosity.

Half of the day passed by in a blur of activities. I attended different classes and met most of the similar faces in each.

I rechecked the schedule to be sure about my last class before lunch. We had much time left until the class starts, and it was Literature. The one subject I wanted to avoid attending because it will eventually force me to dwell in the past.

"Hey, we met again," a friendly voice broke through the hallway chatter. I turned and looked up to see a beautiful girl. She looked like a doll with long hairs, pink blush on her cheeks, and with a tall feature. Her pencil-thin eyebrows eased down gently to her black, beetle's-leg eyelashes. A sculptor could not have fashioned her seraph's ears and pixie's nose any better.

She was really beautiful.

I definitely saw her in few of my classes.

When she broke into a smile now, her beguiling, oyster-white teeth lit up. Unlike her, I have long unsettling hair with plain feature and I have nothing special going on.

"How rude of me to not introduce myself. I am Hope," I extended my hand.

"Beautiful name. I am Katherine, but you can call me Kate" she said with a smile.

"So what class do you have now?" she asked, her eyes flickering with genuine interest.

I reached into my bag and retrieved my schedule, carefully unfolding it to reveal the neatly printed grid of classes and timings. Running my finger down the list, I located the current time slot and traced it with a sense of anticipation.

"Ah, here it is," I replied, holding up the schedule for her to see. "I have introduction to Literature with Professor Johnson."

Her eyes lit up with recognition. "Oh, I heard great things about that class! Professor Johnson is supposed to be fantastic."

"Boring for me though. If you don't mind me asking, why did you chose Literature?" she asked. I shrugged in response.

"Let's meet at lunch in the cafeteria and I will introduce you to some of my friends" her smile was bright as she spoke. Her invitation to lunch in the cafeteria resonated with a genuine warmth that was hard to resist. In that moment, doubts that had once clouded my perception began to fade away.

For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to say No to her. I agreed.

And just like that, she was on her way. Waving and laughing.

May be this is what we call a new beginning, right?

★★★★★

Don't forget to vote and leave your beautiful comments.