She took her mind off Hook.

She scheduled cleaners for her house, and movers to pack everything away. She had to sell that house and it had to be in good condition. Not with bullet holes in the wall, blood-stained wood floors, or the essence of a dead man still lingering on. She went with Jared to get a few of her belongings, but she refused to go anywhere near the bedroom. As much as she loved that house and wanted to fight Matthew for that house, she despised it now.

"When are you looking to buy a new place?"

"Still thinking. Do I want to be close to where I was, close to work...or..."

"In the city with Hook," Jared said.

"There are some good neighborhoods in the city, right?"

"You're not a city girl, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Still, she was thinking of Hook in whatever decision she made. Was she going to be with Hook for the long-term? If she was, she wanted to move where it would reflect that. Not super far away it was a chore to just drive to see each other. Maybe he could move in with her, although, she did not think they were ready for that move. They basically were living together before.

Sure, he was only there to protect her, but they both enjoyed being together.

Then she thought of his kids. What about that? Coming over to her place for the weekend was one thing, them living together, how would that look to them?

And now a baby.

They were just finishing up and loading Jared's car when Hook called her.

"Hey," she simply said.

"I want us to talk. Really talk. I just dropped the girls off. Can I come over?"

She fidgeted a bit, gave it some thought. "I'm out right now...yeah, ok, my parents' place or is that-"

"No, that's fine. I'll see you in a bit."

Jared drove her to her parents' house and helped her put away the things she brought. She was going to give away all the furniture and appliances and start new whenever she found a new place. She went to her room to freshen up before Hook came over. She still did not know what she wanted to say to him. She still was unsure if they even had a future together.

She met him at the door when he rang the doorbell. Her parents left on vacation early that morning, so she had the house to herself.

"The girls said hey," he said, taking a seat on the sofa.

Why did he have to look so damn sexy dressed in baggy jeans and a t-shirt? So basic but fit him so well. He smelled good, he looked good, she wanted to be in his arms.

"I missed them. Did you guys have fun this weekend?"

"No," he said, taking her hand and intertwining his fingers. "I missed you, they missed you."

She looked down, still not ready to say anything.

"Tell me what you are feeling."

"I don't know!"

"I want us to work this out, whatever it is, that's going to be us. We have to talk about it though," he said, kissing her hand. "I talked to Shareefa when I dropped off Ravyn. I wasn't gonna be on that bullshit with her, I had to know for real. If there was a chance that baby is mine. She said she wasn't sleeping around. That it's mine. You know if it's mine, I'll do what I have to do."

She sniffed, quickly wiped away a tear before he could see it.

"That doesn't change us. How I feel about you. I want you to be here with me."

While he took care of another woman who was having his baby. While she sat by and watched him rub her belly and feel his baby's kicks.

She could not hide the tears that were coming down now.

"Angel," he said, pulling her in his arms. "Baby, I'm sorry I did this to us."

"I want it to be me," she said through her tears.

"What's that?" he asked, kissing her neck.

"I want to be the one having your baby."

Hook pulled away from her. "Angel, you don't want any kids. You don't like kids."

"How can you say that! I like your kids."

"I know, but-"

"And I love you, I should be the one having your baby," she said and got up and walked away.

There, that's what she was feeling. Yes, she did not want kids, but she would rather it be her having his baby than another woman. It all sounded crazy, yes, but she meant it. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine from the refrigerator. She grabbed a glass and poured herself a glass, took a long swig.

Hook walked in behind her, putting an arm around her waist, turning her to him.

"You told me you didn't want any kids, and I told you I was fine with that," he said.

"That shouldn't mean you can have a kid with someone else."

"Look, I was mad when you left me, but that's no excuse. I fucked up." He rubbed her face. "I feel like shit for hurting you." 

"We keep hurting each other Hook, what's wrong with us?"

"Because we're fucked up. Our fucked up childhood. The fucked up things that happened to us."

She moved away from him. She knew exactly what he meant but she did not know how he would know. She walked away with the bottle of wine and her glass, topping her glass and hoping it would kick in soon.

"Ang, I didn't mean..."

He didn't need to finish, she knew what he meant. She sat back on the sofa and drank her wine. He said next to her.

"Ask me anything Hook."

He put his hand to his mouth, rubbed his bottom lip.

"What do you remember?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said downing some more wine.

"Then how do you know what I mean?"

"I know something happened when I was a kid, I don't remember it," she said, finishing the glass of wine and pouring herself another. This conversation was about to be heavy.

"So how do you-"

"I was in therapy for years, you think I don't know what it was for? My father told you, right? What did he say?"

"Nothing you need to hear."

"Okay, protect me like he has all these years. Is that why I'm fucked up? Is that why I fell for my professor who fucked with my head? Fell for a guy like Matthew? Protecting me from whatever the fuck happened to me is not really protecting me, is it?"

She drank some more wine, then Hook grabbed the glass from her.

"Count it as a blessing you don't remember, okay. I still have damn nightmares. I still want to protect every woman I love like I'm Superman, the cartoon I was watching that night when..." He paused and took a sip of the wine. "And when you didn't need me to protect you that night when that bastard...I felt less than."

She hugged him to her. "I do need you Hook."

"See, the thing is, you don't," Hook said. "You have everything. Fancy house, fancy car, more money than I will ever make. What can I give you, huh? Heartache. I'm breaking your heart having a baby with another woman."

"I love you Hook, I'm not ready for us to be over."

"Then we're not," he said, kissing her. "I told you, this doesn't change us. It doesn't have to."

It did, in more ways than he realized. This was her life. For now, they may be fine in the short-term. What about the long-term? Would he stay in his tiny apartment, and would she buy some large house and continue the lifestyle she was used to? He would see his daughters plus one more every other weekend when she would become the not-step-mother-but girl-friend to them?

How was she going to ask him about their future? What did it look like?

She was afraid of the answer so she could not say anything. She wanted to enjoy him for now. She took the wine glass and set it down on the table, then took his hand and pulled him up and lead him to her bedroom. Maybe after a great round of sex, she would see clearer.

A/N: They were doing so well kind of talking about things but didn't go deep enough. So much more to uncover. Had to have sex interrupt a good conversation 🤦🏾‍♀️

XOXO
Kimberly