Dying Dreams by: izzahbellah

Remember, these are just my opinions. Feel free to argue with or disagree with any points I make. 

So, let's begin with the introduction. Strong intro, where we get to clearly see the characters and how Ariel ended up in her position in the beginning of the book. We see her character and personality set up rather well, and don't have to imagine that hard how she thinks.

Now the overall body does have some issues. It feels as though it flips from present tense to past tense a few times through out the story. This is a simple fix, depending on which tense you want the story in. The other thing is there are issues with the dialogue. There are places where there isn't a comma or any form of punctuation ending many of the sentences. There are also some places where the first letter isn't capitalized. And remember, when starting new dialogue you must start a new paragraph. 

The pacing seems fine, and the setting is okay. I like the aspect of the gods, and it's interesting to see their interactions in the mortal world. Their silly little games are fun. 

I do like the characters and the mystery behind the story. While I'm not the biggest fan of Ariel going 'he's the hottest guy I've literally ever seen', I think she's a good character all around. Thanatos is cool too. 

Summary:

Pros:

The strong intro

Good characters

Good pacing

Cons:

The dialogue

Spacing

Tenses

If you wish to see how gods meddle in our world, the a Dying Dream will give you what you've asked for.