Chapter soundtrack: 'It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock N' Roll)' by AC/DC.

† Chp. VII †

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"Who the bloody hell thought this would be a good idea?" I question as snow piles into my boots, soaking my socks and numbing my poor old footsies.

"Would you rather be caught by the spies of Saruman?" Aragorn remarks, raising an eyebrow as we trudge behind the rest of the fellowship.

"I would rather my precious feet not falling off due to frostbite." I reply, wiping my red nose with the back of my hand.

There is a moment of silence, before Aragorn decides to continue on with the debate.

"It would be ideal to lose your feet over your head." He fires back, with the slightest hint of a grin.

"You do have a point, pretty boy. Our heads are too good looking to waste, mine in particular." I smirk, nudging his should with mine. "Besides, you wouldn't be getting far with that elleth of yours if you lacked a mouth."

The atmosphere suddenly turns tense as Aragorn keeps a straight face, looking forward with a hint of despair in his eyes. His expression is stern, bringing me to realise that I have touched a sensitive topic.

Curse my non-filtered mind.

"That's alright, I'm sure she'd love you even if your mouth was on your butt." I remark, but the unchanging look on his face informs me that I am not fixing the situation. Another awkward ten seconds pass, and my attention span can't handle the silence.

"What a lovely day."

The savage wind nips at my skin and dries my eyes, making it hard for me to actually see if it is a nice day, and I am convinced that an icicle is forming on the tip of my nose.

Suddenly, Frodo comes rolling down the hill. At first I assume that he is having a bit of fun, but then I remember the ungodly size of his feet.
Aragorn helps him stand back up, before the hobbit claws at his own chest, searching desperately for the piece of gold.

But alas, guess who got his dirty little hands on the forsaken object.

Boromir stares at the ring in awe as the chain hangs loosely from his grip, admiring the gold as it reflects the power gathering within his eyes. I mentally groan as I realise we are seconds away from one of his 'motivational' speeches.

"Boromir." Aragorn tries to avert his focus, but it comes to no use.

"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt, over so small a thing..." Boromir states, his full attention on the piece of metal. There is a pause as he raises his hand to stroke the ring, a powerful darkness radiating from the forged gold.

"Such a little th-"

"Yoink!"

I cut Boromir off as I swiftly remove the chain from his grip, trudging back to Frodo and placing it in his hand. The beef head was too enhanced by the stupid piece of metal that he didn't notice my rather loud footsteps.

The creepy thing tries to fill my head with all sorts of attractive thoughts, but I succeed in blocking out the images within the short seconds I have in contact with it.

"I was going to give it back, I care not for the work of-"

"Shut up." I grumble, as I ram my shoulder into his while stomping past, finally having enough of his annoying voice.

•

Man, if I thought that walking up the hill was hard, I definitely underestimated the trek. Literal clumps of snow fly into my eyes and whip my skin, numbing my whole face. I am at the stage where if I break my ankle, there is no way I'd be able to tell.

Legolas ever so elegantly paces past, his feet barley leaving a track in the snow, as the rest of us shovel on waist deep. Usually I would fire a smart ass comment, but my jaw is frozen shut.

Bloody elves and their physical privileges.

It's almost as if there is a distant, bellowing voice ringing through the sharp air, but it could just be my numb mind having a mental freeze. But the next minute Legolas states something I fail to hear, then Gandalf's booming voice follows, startling us all.

"It's Saruman!"

Crack.

Bang.

Pow.

At first I think my skull has finally split from the pressure of the freezing breeze, but realise this is unfortunately not the case as boulders come hurling down, narrowly missing us as they hit the edge and tumble further below.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain!" Aragorn shouts. "Gandalf, we must turn back!"

"No!"

My head is throbbing and I can barely see what is happening up ahead as Gandalfs voice once again rings out, pronouncing what sounds to be a spell. Merry and Pippin come to a hault infront of me, but I give them a nudge to keep on going.

Suddenly, there is a strike of lightning, and all heads snap up to see an avalanche hurdling down towards the fellowship.

"Well, shit." I mutter, before the large mound of snow hits hard.

It buries us all completely, to the point where I can't even breathe.

But as I lay there listening to silence, soon to be followed by muffled voices from above the surface, my whole body frozen completely numb, and my head pounding from the pressure of the snow, I can't help but feel tranquility. It's a chance for my body to shut down into a much needed rest, and probably not wake up in the process.

But hey, that doesn't sound like such a bad i-

"Where's Robin?!"

Nevermind, that does sound like a bad idea.

Responding to Pippin's call, I dig myself out of the snow and pop up to see a heap of worried faces.

"Don't worry, I survived. Your master  warrior is okay. I had you's sweating for a second, didn't I?"

Their expressions turn from concerned to unimpressed. Except for Pippin of course, he always seems to look as if he's found a hidden pot of mushrooms.

"We will go through the mines." Frodo states after all eyes focus back to his, and I furrow my eyebrows. Have I just missed something important?

"So be it." Gandalf mumbles, and I grow even more confused as everybody turns to trudge off in the opposite direction.

Where the bloody hell are we going now?

•

~3rd persøn~

"What are you going to do, then?"

"Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words." Gandalf snaps at Pippin, and Robin bites her lip as she stifles a cackle.

The fellowship have just arrived at the walls of Moria, the face of a stone cliff which encase the dwarf mines. But of course, like most things in Middle Earth, the entrance is hidden and enchanted. The stone door is revealed only by the light of the moon, and luckily for the fellowship, they have hiked their way into the night.

"Grandpa's got an attitude." Robin mumbles to Pippin as they seperate from the fellowship, slowly approaching the edge of the dark lake which lies opposite the cliff face.

"I never understand anything he says." Pippin replies. "He always seems to speak in riddles."

"Everything sounds like a riddle to you, Pip." Merry remarks, as he comes strolling up from behind.

The lake is eerily still, and the water sits too dark for any knowledge of what lies beneath.

"Well, you've got plenty of time to figure out his riddles. I'm guessing we're going to be here for awhile." Robin states, sitting down and pressing her back against a large, flat rock. "Hey Pip, why don't you give the old man a foot rub? Maybe that will put him in a better mood."

Pippin's face scrunches, and Merry's lights up as he agrees with the idea.

"I'll be rubbing my feet all over his face!" He retorts.

"I'll give you twenty pounds just to see you try." Robin replies, averting her gaze back up to Pippin's face.

•

Forty minutes has gone by, and there is still no sign of any movement coming from the secret doorway. At first the sight was quite pretty with the glowing arch and elvish writing, but staring at the sight for a long amount of time, and knowing that the matter is too tricky for you to understand does tend to dull the awe.

Robin skids a pebble over the water, successfully getting half way across the lake, and Pippin attempts to try out the trick, but his rock plops into the water two metres from shore as he simply chucks it. The hobbit picks up another stone, but Aragorn catches his arm as he is about to throw.

"Do not disturb the water." He orders with wide eyes, as he observes the lake with a weary gaze.

Gandalf tosses his staff and sits on a stone as he contemplates the wall, and Boromir joins Aragorn's stare as a light ripple tears the surface of the water.

"You'd think with a wizard and an elf, we'd be balls deeps into the mines by now." Robin mutters, picking up a rock and tossing it in her hand.

"Mines? Gruh! Inside lies the finest domain any man with sense could lay his eye upon!" Gimli retorts, with a grunt and an overly dramatic tone.

Robin raises an eyebrow at the dwarf.

"And you were obviously too drunk to remember the password?" She replies, a grin carving her expression.

Gimli grumbles as he places his pipe back into his mouth, but is cut off by an eager sounding Frodo.

"It's a riddle.... speak friend, and enter... what's the elvish word for friend?"

"Mellon." Gandalf utters, and a great crack sounds as the stone doors rumble open.

The fellowship pile in, overly excited by finally receiving a sign of progress, but the joy doesn't last long.

"Soon, Master Elf and Master Thief, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves! Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This, my friend, is the home of my cousin, Balin." Gimli introduces, rolling his r's with his thick accent.

"And I'm guessing we'll also be enjoying the sight of Gimli's hairy chest after he's had a few." Robin adds on, receiving a smirk from the elf, but the dwarf ignores her as he continues on.

"And they call it a mine... a mine!"

But the atmosphere doesn't seem quite right as the cave is dark, no light to be seen other than that of the moon. The air does not smell of roasting meat and warm fires, but of dust and decomposition. Boromir is the first catch on.

"This is no mine, it's a tomb!" He exclaims.

A ball of light appears on Gandalf's staff, illuminating the area and revealing their horrific surroundings. The mummified bodies of impaled dwarves are scattered all over the stone ground, the skeletons with jaws agape as they fall to pieces from age.

Gimli instantly reacts as he cries out, bellowing over his fallen cousins.

"Goblins!" Legolas confirms, after examining an arrow lodged in the chest of a dwarf.

All weapons are instantly drawn in anticipation of attack.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here!" Boromir shouts, as everybody slowly backs away from the scene. "Now get out of here! get out!"

"Here we go, backtracking again. By the time we actually make progress on this bloody trip, the elf might have a wrinkle." Robin mutters as the hobbits part to let her back outside. She stands with legs parted and hands on her hips, waiting for the rest of the fellowship and contemplating stealing one of the cute hobbits before doing a runner, until something slippery and wet wraps it's way around her ankle.

"What the..."

Suddenly she is swept off her feet and dragged towards the shoreline by what looks to be a large tentacle, but it doesn't get far as she quickly grabs one of her daggers from her belt and slices through the slimy skin.

"Guys watch out! There's something-" Robin shouts as she stands back to her feet, but is cut off as Frodo goes flying past her and into the water.

"Ah shit, why's it always that one?" She mumbles, retrieving her other dagger.

"Frodo!" The hobbits yell as they attempt to fight off the the tentacles which jeer in their direction.

Robin hacks at the slimy limbs, dismembering them before they get to the hobbits, then retrieves her bow and stands on a rock, mimicking Legolas as they both fire arrows towards the ungodly creature.

The hobbits call for Aragorn, but both he and Boromir respond as they run into the water, attacking the creature as it lowers Frodo towards the ring of teeth which line it's maw.

But skill prevails, as Aragorn slices the tentacle constricting Frodo, and the hobbit lands safely in Boromir's arms.

"Into the mines!" Gandalf shouts, and Legolas and Robin take aim for the eyes, hitting their targets perfectly as the beast recoils with a horrific screech, giving everybody a chance to run.

The ungodly creature attempts to pursue the fellowship as they bolt back into Moria, but instead the entrance comes crashing down, crushing the creature as it blocks all natural light and seals everybody inside. There is pitch blackness accompanied by complete silence other than the harmony of rugged breaths, but within a moment, Gandalf's staff lights up once again.

"I hope you all like seafood." Robin retorts, as she eyes off the dismembered tentacles which writhe on the ground aimlessly. She expects one of the hobbits to reply with a statement of how they like any food, but the halflings are too shaken by the previous event.

"We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria." Gandalf draws out his sentence as he starts to move forward, ignoring Robin's remark. "Be on your guard! There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world."

"Especially now since Boromir's down here." Robin adds on with a grin.

"Now's not the time, Robin." Aragorn replies, nudging her to go forward as they trail behind the hobbits. 

"Quietly now. It's a four day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed." Gandalf finishes as he walks into an opening,  the walls of the mine towering over the fellowship as they follow in pursuit.

"That will be hard with Boromir's stinky a-sorry, not the time." Robin cuts herself off as she catches Aragorn's eye.

-

Hey all!

I'm taking song requests, so just give me the name of a tune you think will be appropriate for one of my future chapters, and it might end up being a chapter sound track.