The Empire's army was massive. And I knew this was only a piece of it.

As the week passed, my mother and I watched as the soldiers cut down trees on our property, mowed down our last standing stalks of corn, and set up their canvas tents. The river was saturated with fish traps, the forest over-hunted and barren. All within a week. Our house turned into a split operation. The kitchen, laundry room, and my bedroom were left to my mother and I. We alternated duties between cooking for the army, doing their wash, and sleeping. We kept the garden fenced off, harvesting the plants as they came and using them to feed the army. The other half of the house; sitting room, outhouse, bedroom, and storage room, were given to the Kainan and his men.

I had thought Kain Sterling was scary, but the Kainan was worse. He was a man of few words. I spent his day in the storage room, which was his new office, soldiers hurrying in and out. I rarely saw him, and for that I was thankful. My mother would drop things in the storage room but always kept me away. She feared my daydreaming would endanger us.

It's an honor became my daily mantra. But every minute it felt less and less like an honor. I spent every hour of every day soaked with dirty water or sweat from cooking. I had no time to slip away from the chaos, or anywhere to retreat to. My head pounded with unexplored imagining. But I was doing a good thing. I was providing for the holiest army in the world. I was serving my greatest purpose.

When the Kainan and his men settled down to sleep, I crept downstairs and laid in front of the fire. My mother snored, and I couldn't sleep. So, I cushioned my head with my arm, staring into the flames. I desperately wanted to retreat into my imagining. I could feel the expands of my own personal universes pressing against my skull. My heart ached for the freedom of floating in a salty ocean like my father had described to me in my youth.

I had once asked him how he knew so much. He told me that his parents had lived long before the Empire came to save us. In their youth, my grandparents had wandered far and wide with my ancestors. They roamed from coast to coast, selling wears and fine spices. When my great grandparents grew old, they settled here in the house we lived in now. My father told me his parents lived into their teenage years, and then the Empire came. He said they burned the town to the ground, and released us from our daily torments. The Empire saved them from themselves. So, my grandparents married under an Empirical flag. When they had my father, they settled into the lives of farmers, like the rest of their peers. My father grew up in the saving graces of the Empire, and so did I.

I recalled the stories of my grandparents and felt myself slip into their shoes. My feet tread along a worn dirt path, the squeaking wheels of a caravan behind me. A colorful sash hung from my waist, and gold rings encompassed one of my fingers, so shiny it reflected the bright blue skies above me. I was young, beautiful, and I sold the jewelry dotting my mother's wrists. A child whooped as they ran past me and I joined them, dancing and singing along with them. My bare feet smacked the hard earth, creating a billowing of dust. But this dust wasn't sticky, and oppressive, it rose and fell like little clouds around my feet. I laughed as my cousin fell, but helped them up as they brushed the light dirt off of their colorful clothes. I felt happy. As I glanced at the horizon, I saw a gathering of grey clouds. They darkened as we neared them and I felt a wave of dread over my body. The warm air turned ice cold and I felt my breath shudder through my lungs.

"Ana Ryder" they clouds seemed to whisper ominously.

I whimpered as my feet fell from under me and my knees scraped the hard ground. My hands bled from the impact.

"You're not supposed to be here".

My eyes shot open.

"Ana Ryder, shouldn't you be sleeping in your room?" a deep voice mused from above me. I looked up, swallowing the stone of guilt in my throat.

"Kainan Kilian... I was unable to sleep. I had hoped the fire would ease me to rest" I replied slowly. My stomach felt leaden. Does he know? Does he know I was imagining? I've betrayed the Empire. The Empire is home, the Empire is holy, the Empire has saved me.

"You must miss having such a large home to yourself," he said, pulling me from my guilty musings.

"It's an honor to provide shelter for the Empire's great army."

"Is it? I should think so. My concern, of course, is being a burden to you and your mother. You ran such a lovely operation here on your own, and my men moved in and cut down your crops. You only have your small garden now, and there are oh so many of us. Honor can only go so far, can it not?"

I felt my heart still and my eyes go wide, staring up at him. His muddy brown eyes stared back at mine, void of any emotion, analyzing me and my reaction. I found myself speechless. Not only was this the most words I had ever heard the Kainan utter, but the Kainan had also committed blasphemy. The Empire's soldiers own the farm, honor is the only essence of life. I could hardly stammer out a reply.

"The Empire is home, the Empire is holy, the Empire has saved us. Our farm is not enough to repay the Empire for its service" I said quietly.

The Kainan knelt next to me and brushed a lock of hair out of my face. If I wasn't utterly terrified, I would find him attractive. A sharp, square jaw with a strong chin, stubble defining already defined features, deep muddy eyes framed by high cheekbones.

"You're a true patriot of the Empire, aren't you?" he said, his eyes burning into mine.

"Yes," I whispered, turning my face away.

"Then would you do me one more service, Ana Ryder?" he murmured.

"Yes..."

"Join me in my bed. You're uncomfortable in your bedroom, and the hard ground is hardly fit for a patriot. I don't snore."

The feeling of ice spread over my limbs. I felt the oh-so-familiar bile rise in my throat as tears threatened my eyes.

Disgusting.

I didn't want to share a bed with the Kainan. I didn't want to touch him. I wanted him to leave my farm, leave my home, leave my family alone. I wanted him to give me my dad back, and my brother. I wanted to take the knife from his belt and take back my fish.

"I would be honored," I replied softly, "thank you."

He stood, his face as deadpan as before, offering me a hand up. I took his hand and stood, brushing the ash off of my nightgown. His hands were rough from years of swordplay. It felt like I was holding a tree branch with the bark still attached. I couldn't complain, my hands were rough as well from a lifetime of farm work. I let go of his hand and walked upstairs. He placed his hand in the small of my back, escorting me to my mother's bedroom. It felt as if I was being led to execution.

I can't control my imagining when I sleep. What if he catches me? What if he takes me away from my mother? What if he kills me?

My body was covered in a cold sweat. I wanted to run. He pushed the door open and my heartbeat quickened. I felt my heart slamming against my ribcage as I stared at my mother's bed.

No.

I turned to run, my feet moving to step past him. I felt his hands close around my shoulders. His voice seemed to take a malicious tone.

"Are you well? You look ill" he said calmly.

My brain thudded, adrenaline coursing through my veins. I had to get out of there, I had to leave. But I was frozen. My legs wouldn't move.

"I-I need some fresh air" I stammered, pushing his hands aside and running downstairs and out the front door.

Immediately the smell of sweat and livestock assaulted my nose. The fields in front of my house were gone, my home was gone. The stench of horse manure and unbathed soldiers caused the tears that were threatening my eyes to spill over and dribble on my cheeks. I hated this. I hated the Empire. This was evil, this was wrong. We never asked for this. We stayed on our little farm, we donated our food to the Empire, we devoted our lives to them, and it still wasn't enough. What right did they have to take my home away from me? I fell to my knees on the dirt path outside my door. My fingernails scraped against the hard ground as sobs heaved through my chest. The rapid beating of my heart drowned out my reasonable thoughts. Nausea in my stomach rose into my throat and I couldn't breathe.

I could run, but I would be leaving my mother behind. Not only that, but the soldiers would stop me before I left the property. Even the threat of wandering T'Nagre seemed favorable to my situation. I pressed my forehead to the ground and inhaled dust as I tried to calm down. I couldn't leave, my home was here, what was left of my family was here. I would just have to wait. The Empire took this land many years ago, there's nothing more to conquer. They have to move on eventually. I just had to wait until then.

My breathing slowed, and once my heart calmed I could hear the farm again. It was not the farm I grew to love, but instead the collective snores of thousands of men and their horses. Tears continued to drip from my cheeks into the dirt, slowing until they stopped completely. I stood, wiping my tears with my sleeve and walking back into the kitchen. I splashed water on my face and wiped the now muddy dirt from around my eyes.

I stared back at the hearth, wondering if I could just lay down and go to sleep, and he wouldn't disturb me anymore.

But the guilt began to rise in my throat. How could I have doubted the Empire? The Empire is my home, they've given me this wonderful farm and family. The Empire is holy, they protect us, and watch over us, the Emperor is a god. The Empire has saved us, they've kept the T'Nagre from attacking our towns, driven out the heretics, and created a safe place for all of us to live. I owe my life and my livelihood to the Empire. It's an honor.

I slowly walked upstairs, pausing outside my bedroom to listen to my mother's snores. A feeling of peace washed over me. This is my home, my mother is here. My family is here. My bed, my animals, my creek and the fields I used to run around in. This is home.

I walked down the hallway and knocked lightly on the Kainan's door. He opened the door, dressed in a pair of trousers for sleeping and a loose shirt. He looked me up and down slowly, his face as emotionless as before. His face never moved, just his muddy, terrifying eyes.

"You're a mess." He commented.

"Should I change?"

"No, just come in" he stepped aside, his eyes never leaving my face.

I swallowed and stepped into my parents' bedroom. It no longer seemed mystical to me. The Kainan's armor lay clean on the dresser where my father's things used to sit. His sword was propped against the wall. The bed was made with linens, a stack of books next to it. A map was laid out near the window, and the room itself was filled with various chests and boxes from the regular moving of the army. This wasn't my home anymore, this was his.

I heard the door ease shut behind me. It let out a moan of protest as it snapped shut, and I felt as if the sound had come out of my own mouth.

"Lay down", he ordered calmly, "rest."

I turned to him, trying to find an excuse in my head. My heart was calm, but I could feel my mind running scenarios in my head. I could say no, and face the consequences, or I could do as he says and hope for the best.

"I tend to move in my sleep, it will disturb you," I said calmly.

"Do you dream?" He asked, watching my face.

"No" I tried to answer regularly. My throat felt like it was being squeezed tightly. If he knew I dreamed, he would know about my imagining.

He reached a hand over to my face, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear again, then cupped my cheek. His hands were surprisingly warm against my skin.

"Such a pretty face" he murmured.

"Thank you..." I replied quietly, looking at the floor.

"It's such a shame about your condition. If only you were a better liar."

His face contorted into a sneer as he said this, and I felt my heart stop.

Traitor.