Carson refused to look at her, much less talk to her. The entire period she tried to catch his eye, but he either averted his gaze or looked through her like she wasn’t even there. When class ended, she stayed behind, slowly packing up her things. Once they were the last two people in the room, she approached his desk.

“I’m not ready to talk, Madison,” he said evenly, not looking up from the computer screen. Tiny clicks of the keyboard filled the air.

She ignored his request and gingerly sat down. Her tone was imploring as she said, “Please let me explain.” She hated the flat tone of his voice. Hated the way he called her Madison, instead of Maddy. “Please, Carson.”

She waited with bated breath, every second a painful reminder of the growing distance between them. Finally, his fingers stopped typing. Slowly, he turned. His face blank, his eyes guarded.

“Alright, explain.” He leaned back in his chair acting like he wanted as much space between them as possible.

 Now that he was giving her the chance, she wasn’t sure where to start. She hemmed and hawed, stumbling over herself as she tried to explain. “Well you see—I, uh…..well umm. The thing is….”

“How about I tell you what I know,” Carson cut in. He positioned his elbows on the armrest and templed his fingers beneath his chin. “I know you are in possession of a stack of FEC coins. I know the thefts started around November of last year. I know you moved here in June. Therefore, you are not solely responsible. However, what you have stolen since then is up for debate.”

“I—”

“Furthermore,” he continued, talking over her, “I’ve done a little research in the past hour and I know your group of friends have been at quite a few of the houses where items have been stolen. What I don’t know is if this was a collaborative effort or if only a few of them are involved.” He cocked his head to the side and gave her inscrutable look. “Care to expand?”

She squirmed in her chair. Madison didn’t like this cold, hardened Carson. Without his warmth or vibrancy, he was…intimidating. If she couldn’t even manage a single sentence in his presence, how was she going to ask him what his intentions were?

“I guess not.” Disappointment flickered in his eyes. He dropped his hands and sighed. “I have one question for you though.”

“Just one?” she managed to say. In all honesty, she thought there would hundreds.

“I understand why you were so against us writing the article now. It makes sense. But why the change of heart? Why did you say yes and go with me to investigate?”

“Honestly?”

“That would be nice for a change,” he replied dryly.

His sarcasm pricked her temper. She lifted her chin and said, “I agreed to the article because I wanted to keep track of your progress.”

“That’s what I thought,” he muttered.

“If you knew, then why did you ask?”

“Because I wanted to see if you would admit it.”

“And I did. Does this mean I passed your little test?” she asked in a short tone.

A spark of annoyance lightened his eyes. “There’s no need for the righteous indignation. I’m not the one who lied.” He pushed himself out of the chair and walked over to a window. With one hand on his waist and the other against the wall, he looked out at the school. “You know what really gets me, Madison?”

She shook her head, but realized he wasn’t watching her. “No, what really gets you?”

“The fact that two hours ago you were in my arms, confessing how much I meant to you.” His chest moved up and down in rapid movements as he tried to control his feelings. “I must not have meant that much if you could have kept this a secret.”

“That’s not true. I know I didn’t tell you about the FEC, but my feelings in that classroom were real—are real,” she corrected. “I’m sorry for lying and pretending I didn’t know about the thefts. You have no idea how sorry. I wish I could go back and change the past, but I can’t. But I do care about you, Carson. This changes nothing.”

“I wish I could say the same.”

His quiet admission was a direct hit. Pain seared through her heart as she struggled to breath. “I—I should go.” She fumbled out of the chair, tripping over her backpack and almost falling face first to the ground.

“Don’t you want to stay and explain? Isn’t that why you asked to talk?”

“Does it matter?” she asked numbly, righting her balance. He’d already written her off. Nothing she could say or do would change that.

He turned around and leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and one foot propped up. Her chest ached as her eyes took him in. He looked so handsome like that. The afternoon light streamed through the window, touching his body and highlighting his features. It made the pain that much more pronounced knowing she would never get to hug or kiss him again.

“What did you want to tell, Madison?” he repeated, his voice dropping in temperature.

She closed her eyes to stave off the hurt. “What are you going to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Now that you know. Are you going to tell your father?” She opened her eyes just in time to see his face change from disbelief to anger and then to bitterness.

“I should have known.” A short bark left his lips as he shook his head. “No, I’m not going to tell. But I am going to write the article and I will produce the evidence I find.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“You know, when I first met you, I was impressed by your frankness. You were a breath of fresh air compared to the other girls at this school. And the more I got to know you, the more you impressed. Your sense of self-worth and how you carried yourself with confidence was refreshing. That’s why I’m so surprised you would even take part in this type of thing. It reeks of someone who’s insecure. And frankly, I don’t know how to reconcile those two images.” He paused, his expression solemn. “But the girl that I know, the girl that I came to care about—the outspoken, forthright Maddy—would speak up and do the right thing.”

“It’s not that easy.” She thought of Avery and everything she offered her—friendship, acceptance, loyalty, someone who just…understood. How could she betray that precious gift?

“It never is.” He pushed off the wall and walked to his desk. Turning off his computer, he picked up his bag and hitched it over a shoulder. “I don’t know how you got involved in this and honestly, I don’t think I’m in the right mind frame to hear about it right now, but what I do know is this. At some point, you’re going to have to come to a decision and it looks like that time is now. What you choose to do is entirely up to you.”

“So I should just admit I made a mistake and then what? All will be forgiven?” she surmised with a healthy dose of skepticism and self-deprecation.

His expression softened and he dropped his bag. Kneeling before her, he took one of her hands and sandwiched it between his. “I think it would be a good start.”

She thought of the consequences, of everything she would be giving up. Her parents’ trust, her friends, her freedom. It was a heady concept. “I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not that girl you talked about. I hid in your laundry room for goodness sake! All because I didn’t want to meet new people.”

“Exactly! You hid in my laundry room not because you were scared, but because you didn’t want to make friends.”

She snorted at his blunt assessment. “Yeah, I can see why you like me. I’m a real peach.”

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the back. “Hey, I like you because you understand your own faults. You openly recognize them instead of burying them inside like a dirty secret. That’s why I know you can do this.” When she went to pull her hand away, he tightened his grip. “You, Madison Chase, have the self-confidence to admit you made a bad decision and you have the courage to right those wrongs. Don’t doubt yourself.”

His words filled her with hope. “Maybe,” she whispered. Maybe she could go through with it and do the right thing.

He gave her an encouraging smile. “I know you can.”

“D-Do you still like me despite everything?”

“I’m…” he dropped her hand and looked away, “…conflicted. I’ve liked you a long time and those feelings don’t disappear at a drop of the hat, but at the same time…” he trailed off and sighed. “Well, let’s just say I’m trying to understand this new side of you and how that fits in with what I already know.”

She looked down at her hands. They felt so cold without his touch. “I get it.”

He picked up his bag again and got to his feet. He was almost to the door when she summoned the nerve to say, “Hey, Carson?”

“Yeah?” he asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Where does this leave us?”

His legs paused mid-step. Rubbing his temple, he admitted, “I think it’s better if we remain friends right now. I need some space to figure things out and it sounds like you do too.”

She lowered her eyes so he couldn’t see how crestfallen she was.

“I’ll see you, Monday. And Madison? If you need to talk, my phone is always on.” He left with a small wave and sad smile.

She sat in that classroom for a long time, dissecting every word Carson said and examining her own feelings. She’d just come to a conclusion when Avery stepped inside. The atmosphere was awkward between them. The ease they once shared completely gone.

“I saw him leave. Everything okay?” Avery asked hesitantly.

“We…talked.”

“I figured. How’d it go? He looked pretty miserable.”

“About as well as you’d expect. Knowing I’m apart of FEC threw him for a big loop. He’s feeling angry and confused and I can’t blame him.”

Avery sucked in air, compassion filling her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. The blame belongs squarely on my shoulders.”

“If we hadn’t pushed you to spy on him maybe—”

Madison cut her off. “He still would have found out and he still would be upset. Seriously, don’t take responsibility for this. You’re not at fault.” Her palms started to sweat as she thought about what she needed to say next. She motioned to a chair and asked, “Will you sit? We need to talk.”

Avery’s face became wary as she gingerly lowered herself into the chair. “This sounds ominous.”

Madison wetted her lips, buying herself a few moments. “Um…Carson isn’t going to tell.”

Instantly, her demeanor relaxed as she let out a sigh of relief. Wiping her brow, she said, “Thank goodness! You had me worried there for a second. Why would you do that to me? I thought I was going to pass out.”

“Carson isn’t going to tell, Avery, but I am.”

Stunned silence filled the room. Avery fell back in her chair as if she lost all her strength. Her mouth was open and her eyes were in shock.

Madison hurried to explain. “I can’t do this anymore. The guilt is consuming me. Please understand. I need to come clean.”

“W-what about us?”

“I’m not going to tell them anything about you guys. I will refuse to say where I got the coins from. But I am going to turn the box in the library over to police.”

“B-But they’ll know!” She was starting to panic now, her eyes growing wide and sheen of perspiration glistening on her forehead. 

“I burned the photos. There’s no evidence connecting you to the thefts. Everything else will be circumstantial evidence. Just get rid of your coins before they start searching.”

She burst out of her seat and swiped her arms through the air. “No! You can’t do this!”

Silently, her eyes implored Avery to understand. “I have to, Avery. I can’t live with myself if I don’t.”

“I thought we were friends,” she cried, her body trembling. “How could you do this to me?”

Madison’s gut churned as she watched Avery beg her to reconsider. Over and over she beseeched her, her expression desperate. For a couple seconds Madison was tempted to, but then she remembered Mr. Duvall and his son. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, silent tears leaking from her eyes. “So, so sorry.”

“I wish I’d never befriended you. Meeting you was the worst mistake of my life,” Avery sobbed, every word filled with loathing. “I hate you. I hate you. I. Hate. You.” Avery rushed out of the room, tears streaming down her face.

Madison felt nauseous, her stomach a pit of despair. She wondered if this was what people meant when talked about hitting rock bottom. Disappointing the boy you like? Check. Making your best friend hate you? Check. Now all she to do was admit to being a criminal to her mother and she’d hit the trifecta.

God, how can I make a joke at a time like this? she thought to herself. This is obviously what happens when someone has too much stress…or has a mental breakdown.

Before she could change her mind, Madison reached into her backpack and pulled out her phone. Fingers shaking, she punched in her mother’s number.

“Mom?” she asked, when she picked up. “Where are you? There’s something important we need to talk about.”