Assalamu alaikum.

Dedicated to Afia20

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I was in the intensive care watching Aahil with raw intensity. He looked haggard and tired, a thick shadow across his jaw.

"Aahil," I murmured in a low voice, "You're going to be alright InshaAllah," I tried to muffle my sobs, stuffing the edges of the handkerchief inside my mouth.

He appeared so unwell. His eyes were so deeply shadowed and it looked like he had lost a few pounds.

In the past few days prior the dreadful accident, Aahil had been so sweet and caring, he had tried his best to reduce my worries and I wasn't even able to mumble a thank you in return.

Unthinkably, I ran my fingers through his hair for a few minutes and kissed his cheeks. He did not stir and was still breathing heavily.

It felt like time had stopped the moment I heard Aahil had met with this fatal accident. My life felt hollow like all the warmth had been sucked out of it.

I interlocked our fingers and sat beside him in a chair, watching him intently, my gaze unwavering. I held his hand to my heart and closed my eyes thinking about good memories. Days when we had tried to be good to each other. During a conversation, Aahil had asked me what would I like as our one-month anniversary gift and I had shaken my head saying that I didn't need anything.

But I did want it now.

I wanted him.

"Oh, Aahil please wake up. I want to listen to your voice once again. I do not wish to live my life without you. There were numerous times that I felt like flinging myself on you, letting you know that I want you. But I didn't want to sound needy and so I had suppressed my feelings."

There wouldn't be a bigger fool than me. I knew the pain of losing someone very close to heart and I still hadn't learnt the lesson to value someone when time permitted.

Even though we all had tried not to breakdown completely after dad's death and mom had been like a strong pillar during the tough times, the deep empty void was always there and would always remain.

Only mom's constant reminder's of accepting Allah's qadar had kept me going and now I needed to strengthen my faith if I wanted to stay strong.

I opened my book and started reading the dua to be read during a calamity or when hardship befalls.

Yaa Allah, I hope for your mercy. Give me the patience to overcome the present hardship. All might and power belong to you.

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I was sitting quietly in the hospital room we were booked in when my phone buzzed.

"I am sorry to disturb you, Mrs Hussain. But a very important matter needs to be addressed."

"What is it Dilshad?"

"A committee wants to meet you."

"What and Why?"

"A committee of A1 solutions."

"Why?" I questioned once again, unable to find a sensible answer.

"Supervisors from several departments of A1 International have created a committee known as A1 solutions. Basically, they are problem solvers and they wish to have a word with you."

"Is this related to business?"

"Unfortunately, it is," He replied meekly.

"Then, make it absolutely clear that all business dealings need to wait until Aahil's recovery."

"I tried my best Mrs Hussain. But they ain't ready to listen. I'm afraid they will stop working if they do not get approval from you and it could lead to a major downfall."

Aahil had worked really hard to achieve such success and I couldn't allow his dream to be shattered.

"Fine, schedule an appointment."

"Thank you, Mrs Hussain."

After about twenty minutes I strode to Aahil's office accompanied by Lissa as I had requested her to tag along.

I entered the conference room and took my respective seat, within seconds I received a call from the reception asking my permission to send in the committee members. I gave my consent and sat there waiting patiently for their arrival. I hoped to get over this as soon as possible and rush to the hospital.

All the recent events had unnerved me and I did not trust anybody at the moment and therefore I took utmost care in ensuring Aahil's safety.

Consequently, I made sure to call Mrs Mariam and let him know my plans and Alhamdulillah she had taken the pains to reach the intensive care before I left the hospital premises.

I kept checking my watch, full five minutes had passed and the committee had still not arrived. I folded my hands so that Lissa wouldn't spot me shivering slightly.

Somehow, Lissa sensed my agony and squeezed my upper arm gently, I blinked back the tears which threatened to flow. "Aleena, he is going to be fine, InshaAllah. Don't stress yourself to such a great extent."

I nodded my head, bitting hard on my lower lip, hoping the tears would vanish. I was a nervous wreck by the time a group of members entered the conference room. They took their seats and spread their laptops on the table.

"What's the problem that needs to be addressed in such haste?"

One of the foremen said, "Well, we are kind of worried. After what happened to Abdullah Hussain the company had seen real bad days. It took an enormous effort for Sir Aahil to establish A1 international to its former state," He paused and seemed reluctant to continue.

"Please feel free to speak, Mr.Brown," I said faking confidence in my tone, whereas, I did not wish to hear any negative aspects.

"Umm..It is just that..After what happened to Sir Aahil...Are A1 solutions going to stay in business?"

"Of course, it is."

"Who will take over?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mrs Hussain please think from a broader perspective. We need someone who would be able to balance the business. As every project we work on isn't always going to be a success. Therefore, we need someone who would be able to guide us."

I had never felt so helpless in my entire life. I felt so confused, so out of place.

Yaa Allah, please grant Aahil a speedy recovery.

"Ma'am, we are waiting for your reply."

I shook my head, "I don't know. At this point, my mind is still in shock. I still can't believe what happened to my husband."

The foreman raised his eyebrow and was thoughtful for a moment.

I spoke hurriedly before they would conclude that I lacked confidence in taking the decision, "I'll tell you what to do. Concentrate on the ongoing projects for now. And work on a new project only if the scientists are sure that they can handle it because I cannot predict anything, I'm not experienced in such matters. If you still have any major issues feel free to inform it to me or to Mr Muhammad Dilshad, who is very well versed in the working of the company."

There were murmurs of thank you, as I and Lissa watched them depart.

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No sooner, did we reach the hospital, the media surrounded me in a rush.

I had just got down from the car and taken a few steps when I was enclosed in a circle created by the media, who seemed to be throwing back to back questions at me without regard to my emotional state.

I held my abaya close to me, in a gesture of hugging myself and began taking brisk steps towards my destination. But they were adamant and wouldn't allow me to pass through without answering their questions.

I gave an uneasy expression to Lissa and she instantly recognised my fear. Shielding her arm above her and clutching my arm tightly in her free hand she tried her best to get us away from them.

But to our relief, Dilshad reached us and parting the gathered crowd with ease he helped us inside the building.

When I reached Aahil's room few policemen were gathered and were speaking to Mr.hamilton in hushed whispers.

I was about to enter the room when a lady constable stopped me and did a thorough check before allowing me to enter Aahil's hospital room.

Something did not seem right. Ya Allah I just hope Aahil is fine and all this fuss isn't associated to his well being.

But before I could shut the door, Detective Hamilton stepped in, "Mrs Hussain If you could please have a word with me."

I stepped outside the room and waited patiently for him to speak as he seemed deep in thought.

"Did your husband go through a sudden laryngeal spasm?"

"Yes, he did."

"Who was present in the room during the emergency?"

"Only me. Why do you ask?"

"For how many minutes were you present in the room?" Another question without bothering to answer my question.

Defensively I folded my arms across my chest, "Please come directly to the point Mr hamilton," I pointed wryly.

"If you are ready to accept your crime then let's get straight to the point. The hospital staff says that it wasn't them who unplugged his oxygen mask. So could you enlighten us, as you were the only one present in the room during that particular incident."

I had to stop myself from falling, all this was too much for me to handle.

"When I went inside the room his oxygen supplementation was already unplugged. I had no idea that someone could have done it on purpose," I added defiantly.

"You could give all the reasons in the world, Mrs Hussain. You can even try to act as innocent as possible but you cannot misguide the intelligence of detectives."

"I don't care how intelligent you are and stop blaming people without possessing soundproof. If you would have been as smart as you consider yourself to be then we would already have had the culprit behind the bars. So stop wasting your time passing threats."

Detective hamilton gave such a cold expression that I felt a chill run down my spine. He then walked away towards the lobby without giving a second glance.

I stood frozen. My brain was about to explode into tiny pieces. Policemen weren't going to allow me to enter the ward until they finished their investigation and as I had no other option, I quickly went in the direction of the prayer room.

I needed to calm myself. How could someone sneak into the hospital room unnoticed? And where was I at that moment?

The time of obligatory prayer had passed and therefore the prayer room was deserted. I even prayed a few voluntary prayers because it always helped me avoid depression.

When I felt a lot calmer I decided to go to Aahil's room. I looked at my wristwatch and sighed. I better get moving, I thought, as I lifted myself from my sitting position.

A few minutes later I was standing alone in the hallway waiting for the electric lift.

As always it took a terrifying amount of time and I started getting quite annoyed. I noticed a shady looking man at the farthest end of the corridor staring at me.

I just had to get out of here.

Just then, I saw a middle-aged nurse walking towards me and I withdrew the breath I had held. With a sigh of relief, I leaned against the wall.

We had a small formal talk as the lift had still not made its appearance. She was quite friendly and made me smile.

The lift arrived, and we stepped inside. I glanced at the man who spoke something on his earpiece, his eyes still on me, and then hurriedly walked away.

As the lift door started to close, I realised that I had left my purse in the prayer room. I wanted to practically hit myself for being so careless.

It would be such a waste of time and then probably I would be wasting another couple of minutes in this deserted corridor waiting for the lift but I needed my purse as it contained some necessary documents. I eyed the nurse and it was visible that she was getting restless.

"You go ahead," I said as I stepped out of the elevator and made my way back towards the prayer room.

I found my bag and hung it clumsily on my left shoulder. Just then there was a terrible crash and I ran in the direction of the explosion.

My heart began pounding as a hundred negative thoughts ran through my mind. There was babble of voices and loud screams.

Horrified, I ran down the stairs not bothering to wait for the elevator.

I ran like a maniac and reached the lobby where a large crowd had already gathered.

Apprehensively, I went towards the crowd and stood there petrified at the sight that welcomed me.

The elevator had crashed and the body of the nurse was indistinguishable. I did not know what I felt. The feeling of numbness empowered me and just stood there staring at the dead body.

A minute ago she was alive.

And now ......

I could have been there with her if I hadn't gone back to fetch my purse.