My heart fell with a dull thump as suspicion crawled into my mind.

I could not understand why uncle Haroon would engage himself in books which contained basic information on the subject and was precisely written to satisfy the growing interest of a student.

My heart began beating faster. Was the Detective right in suspecting uncle Haroon?

But what could those books possibly contain?

"Aleena......are you listening?"

"Sorry. I was thinking."

"Care to say?"

"Nothing important," Then it struck me that I needed her help.

"Ayath, could you do me a favour?"

"Of course, I would."

"Please don't allow uncle Haroon to touch my books."

Silence.

"Fine. Reason?"

I had to think of an answer. Ayath was someone whose curiosity would not be easily satisfied and I did not have the heart to scare her with the ugly realities of our life.

"I have written about my crush in one of the books and I don't want uncle Haroon to find it," I bit my lower lip with worry. I hoped Ayath would buy my answer. It wasn't a lie as there were loads of pictures of my favourite cartoon character in all of the books. The idea of an indestructible high-flying super-strong man with human emotions had always appealed me. I just love superman. Silly me.

More silence.

Then finally a reply, wavering with shock and uncertainty, "You had a crush?" I could imagine Ayath's eyes bulging out from their socket.

"Please."

"I'll do it. How's it going to benefit me?"

"Whatever you ask for?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. InshaAllah."

"I hope you won't forget your promise."

"I promise to never forget my promise."

------------------

During dinner there was an awkward silence between me and Aahil, the only sound audible in the large dining hall was the noisy clatter of cutlery and the giant grandmother-clock doing tick-tock.

I wanted to avoid another argument so, after dinner, I stepped into the huge library on the fourth floor of the second wing. As I stepped into the library, I smelt the familiar fragrance of pages. The smell of magic.

It was filled with volumes of books belonging to various authors. A few lines were written on a wall,

You cannot pretend to read a book
Your eyes will give you away,
So will your breathing,
A person entranced by a book
Simply forgets to breathe.
The house can catch alight but the reader deep in a book
will not lookup
Until the wallpaper is in flames.

I browsed through the shelves for quite some time and settled on "Greek mythology," But before I took my seat in one of the wooden chairs, another book caught my attention 'The Muslim marriage guide.' I quickly grabbed that book and began reading,

Islam teaches that marriage is half of the deen because it fulfils so many basic needs of the individual and society, it is the cornerstone upon which the whole Muslim life is built.

Modern life brings strains and pressures which can upset even the most compatible relationships. All women share the basic need to be needed, appreciated and loved.

Just because a man is not good at expressing himself does not mean he is void of emotions. Sometimes the wife needs to understand that he too needs her love, care and appreciation as much as she needs ...........

I couldn't read further as I started regretting my outbursts with Aahil. I got up from my place and folded the book to carry it along.

Unsurprisingly, when I returned to my bedroom, I found it empty. Aahil wasn't there. I sat in my bed and rested my head on the headboard and resumed reading, hoping that Aahil would return soon.

The night rolled on but there was no sight of Aahil. I began getting restless and started pacing the length of the floor, then stopped doing it when my legs began to hurt.

It was almost fajr time and Aahil had still not returned. Now my worry turned into panic.

I picked my cellphone which was lying on the bedside table and made my way to the balcony. After contemplating for a few minutes, I dialled Aahil's contact number.

'The number you are trying to reach is currently busy.'

I tried calling a couple of times and then gave up. I was about to go down to the dining hall when my phone vibrated, Aahil's name flashing on the screen made a familiar sense of happiness fill me.

"Assalamu alaikum. Where are you?"

"Hello. Who is speaking? Is it Mrs.hussain?" The voice was deep and rough and it did not belong to Aahil.

Why did someone else call through Aahil's cellphone?

"This is Aahil's wife speaking. Who are you?"

"This is detective Mr.Green hamilton and I am sorry to inform you that your husband faced an accident while working with one of the chemicals in the laboratory and will be shifted to the hospital as soon as possible."

My heart slammed in my chest. I held the phone tightly for support.

Ya Allah, I hope he is fine.

"Is he alright?"

"We can't say anything right now. He is being examined. The doctors are there and are trying their best to decontaminate the chemical from his body."

I ran downstairs like a maniac and found Dilshad walking towards the main door, "Dilshad please take me to the factory. I want to see Aahil."

"Ya Allah.. who informed you? You please need to calm down. All the best doctors are hired and I am sure he will be fine. You better go and sit down for a minute. I have got to get back -------"

"No!" he had already turned to leave but I blocked his way, "You've got to take me with you," I pleaded.

"I don't know..it could take hours...because it was phosgene that he was exposed to, his air passage has been blocked and he has had a blackout. It is a shame that it was only after full thirty minutes someone went in to check on him and by the time he was gasping for air."

He paused and I stared at him perplexed, "Why did he choose to work so late into the night?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "The doctors are trying their best to decontaminate him but it is only after 48 hours that we will know for sure whether he is out of danger as the patient who is exposed to phosgene can go to latent phase and shows symptoms of illness even after 12 to 24 hours, so he will be closely monitored until then."

'Please ...." I begged again as I knew he was explaining things to dishearten me from accompanying him.

He looked like he was about to refuse again but after seeing me cry he changed his mind.

In seconds we were speeding down the drive, out of the mountain roads to the main road and then long narrow lane that ran towards the factories.

Dilshad had been right. There were a number of policemen and two ambulances.

They were guiding the stretcher to the ambulance on which Aahil lay unconscious.

"He will be alright," I heard a doctor say to reassure Dilshad who seemed desperate to know.

And then I heard another voice as I tried to move towards the crowd and tried to part them so that I could be beside Aahil.

"He will be lucky if he gets out of this alive."

"No!"

The man turned around and tried to stop me as I ran towards Aahil like someone demented.

"It will be too late when we reach the hospital, we have to start the treatment right away," I heard a doctor say.

I could see that part of Aahil's chest and shoulder skin had become cherry red and had blisters on it. He had difficulty breathing, oxygen was being supplemented and cardiac monitoring is done.

"Aahil," I cried out, feeling helplessly inadequate, sobs tearing my body.

I turned towards a doctor and pleaded with desperation, "Please....You've got to help him."

"We are doing all we can do, young lady," The door looked like he had more important things to do than sit around and console me.

"For goodness sake get her out of here!" he ordered over his shoulder to one of his men.

Immediately, Dilshad to came up to me, "Mrs Hussain, He is going to be alright. Believe me. Now please come inside and let the doctors do their work."

Like a sleepwalker I allowed him to lead me to the other room.

He brought me tea and biscuits which I couldn't drink. I kept going back and stealing glances. I couldn't sit just there, not when my husband was fighting for breath.

He might not have loved me and maybe never would. But he cared for me and that was obvious in his gestures. He had always tried his best to protect me.

He still lay unconscious.

I kept out of the way of doctors but nothing could induce me to go back inside. Not even Dilshad.

I heard a doctor say that the chances are slim, but as the doctors were trying hard, I was desperately praying for a miracle.

I did not know how many hours had gone by since the detective had first called to say about the accident.

Perhaps it was a few hours--perhaps a dozen. But it did not matter, what mattered was Aahil regain his consciousness. I heard him gasp for air even though he was on the machine and I rushed towards where he lay but was restrained by one of the doctors.

"He is my husband!" I stressed plaintively, but the doctor wouldn't allow me to pass.

"I am sorry Mrs.hussain but its the best that you hold on until we assess what condition he's in."

"No!" I protested loudly, "It isn't your husband who is ill," I tried to push my way forcefully past him but he was determined not to let me pass and after hours of frantic worry I didn't have the energy to put up too much resistance.

Frantically, looking over the man's shoulders, I realised that Aahil's breathing was getting worse.

"Yaa ALLAAH please let him be alright -----'"

"Mrs Hussain, you should come away," Dilshad tried to sound gentle, "It won't do any good standing here...just waiting."

"I have got to," I murmured and silently added to myself, "He does not know that I love him and If I go inside now, then he might never know."

________________

Thank you for the support I have been receiving. I never dreamt of so much appreciation.

Dedicated to Aashilrf

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