"I'm...I'm sorry, what?" I ask.

He blushes even more and hides his face. "Nevermind Alex, forget I said anything."

"No, no I definitely heard that. What do you mean he wasn't anything like me?" I ask, hoping it meant something good.

He looks up at me, still blushing like crazy, and sighs. "It's just... I don't know.."

I chuckle lightly. "Your face is cute." I think out loud, causing him to blush even more. I blush a little too, as I didn't mean to say that.

Maria comes back with our drinks and raises an eyebrow. "Did I miss something?"

"No, Maria, you didn't miss anything." John mumbles through his hands.

Maria giggles. "Oh, I've so got to tell Peggy."

John and I both look at her confused and her eyes widen. "Peggy like, Peggy Schuyler?" I ask. "I didn't know you two talked."

Maria chuckles again and shakes her head. "No, silly, it's a different Peggy. Come on, like I could get a Schuyler sister." There was an awkward pause before she nods. "You know, I'm going to go check on Table 6." She says before walking away.

"That's so weird..Maybe I should text Peggy about it." John mumbles.

I tilt my head. "You have her number?" I ask.

He nods. "Eliza put everyone's number in my phone."

I smile. "She's a gem, honestly."

He chuckles. "Yeah, she's too precious for this world." He then looks to me. "Is she in a relationship?"

"Well, no, she's not, but you still haven't answered my question." I say, crossing my arms.

He sighs. "It's just...I know we weren't together for very long before I left.."

"That's a terrible way to start this sentence, but okay." I say, rolling my eyes lightly. "We literally were together for my birthday, and that's it."

He nods. "Again, I'm so sorry-"

"John, no more apologies. I hate apologies, they're just an easy way to get out of a sticky situation." I say firmly.

He frowns at this. "Geez, Alex.. What happened to you?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me and leaning back in his chair.

I scoff. "What do you mean what happened to me?" I ask, half yelling. A couple people from other tables looked over. "You fucking messed up my life, John! And the only thing you can think to do is apologize. Well guess what, two little words mean nothing to me! So no, you're not forgiven."

He stares at me in shock. "Alex, I didn't mean it like-"

"Yeah, I know John. You never mean what you say." I glare at him and then stand up. "I'm going back to work. You should probably just leave me alone for a little while." I mumble while grabbing my stuff.

I leave a twenty dollar bill on the table for my food that I never even got to eat and then walked out, not looking back once. The further away from the restaurant I got, the more the tears in my eyes started to pour down my cheeks. Eventually, I stopped at a bench and sat down, crying into my hands.

As I'm sobbing, I feel a hand being placed in my back and I wince. "I fucking swear, if it's you John-"

"Hey, no need to use that language around your best friend." I hear a sweet, feminine voice say.

I sigh in relief and hug her right away, knowing who it is.

"Shh...What's wrong, Alex?" She asks.

"Eliza, I just...I don't know what's going on..." I say, sobbing into her shoulder. "I'm not supposed to have emotions." I attempt to joke.

Eliza laughs gently and starts rubbing circles on my back. "Oh, Alex. It's impossible to shut down all of your emotions. Trust me, if there was a way, I would do it."

I look up at her and tilt my head. "What do you mean? You're happy all the time.." I mumble.

She smiles sweetly at me. "No..Not always...I'm just very good at hiding it."

I sigh and sit up. "Well... What's bugging you?" I ask, wiping the tears away from my cheeks.

Her smile turns into a sad smile now, something I had never seen from Eliza, and I frown. "Alex, it's nothing, really.."

"No, Eliza I want to know." I say.

She looks into my eyes intently and I can see that there is definitely hurt in them. I grab her hands, but she pulls them away and looks at the ground. "I'm sorry.." She mumbles.

"No, you have nothing to be sorry about. What's bothering you?" I ask.

"It's just...Alex, I love you." She mumbles. "But I know that it would ruin our friendship and I know you still love John and-"

She continues talking but I just stare at her in shock. I was not expecting that.

Although, I guess that would explain why she turned down literally any guy that tried flirting with her in the coffee shop. Eliza was amazing, but she was right, I still love John.. I don't want to hurt either of them..

I pull Eliza into a hug and she stops talking as I hear what sounds like her crying. Eliza...Was crying.

Did I do that?

"Shh...Eliza.." I say, trying to calm her but not sure what to do.

"I'm so sorry...I've ruined everything, haven't I?" She mumbles, shaking her head.

"No, no, you haven't ruined anyth-"

"I understand if you don't wanna be my friend anymore-"

I pull her away and look her directly in her eyes. "Elizabeth Schuyler, you are the closest friend I've got. I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but I don't feel the same way. That, however, doesn't change anything about our friendship, I promise." I pull her into another hug. "I'm glad you told me, Eliza. You deserve way better than this.."

Timeskip brought to you by that one newsie that screams "And I lost my shoe!"

The TV blared some cop show as I sat on my couch looking tiredly at it. It was almost midnight, and John still hadn't come back yet.

Today was a long day, though....I never got my paper finished, which will probably result in me getting fired, but I had bigger things to deal with.

Eliza admitted she loves me today..Which is terrible because she's amazing and I don't want to hurt her..John was trying his best, but I can't let my damn walls down for the life of me..And now I haven't seen him since I stormed out of that cafe this morning.

There was a knock on the door and I sprang to my feet to grab it, opening it to see John, but not John. He chuckles and stumbles into the apartment. "Alexxx~!" He slurs.

Great, just what I need. A dysfunctional John.

"Shit, John. Did you have to go out drinking?" I ask, closing the door behind him.

"Hey, I-" He stops when he falls into my arms and then he giggles and pokes my nose. "Boop!" He says, giggling like a little kid.

"John, go sleep on the couch." I say standing him up right.

He pouts at this. "But I don't wanna sleep, I wanna hang out with youuu!" He whines.

I groan and point to the couch. "I'm not hanging out with you like this. Go to bed."

He then stumbles into me again and I catch him. He blushes as he makes eye contact with me and then smiles. "You're pretty~" He giggles.

I blush lightly. "John, you're drunk."

"May I?" He asks randomly.

"May you what?" I ask, slightly annoyed.

He stands up, but doesn't move too far away from me. "Do this?" He asks. Before I could respond, he holds my cheek gently and...

Kisses me.

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