It was Paul.  He looked miserable and when I attempted to slam the door in his face, he pushed the door open and stalked toward me.  "You have to let me explain," he pleaded.

"No!" I argued, pushing him back toward the door.

"Please, Keegan!  I didn't sleep with that girl."

I scoffed. "Why? Because you couldn't find any condoms?"

"No," he paused to reach for the back of my neck. "Because I don't want anyone else but you," he breathed.

I stood there frozen, wedged between Paul and the arm of the couch.  I held my breath when he fisted his hand in my hair and pressed his forehead to mine.  "Please give me a chance to explain," he begged once more.

"Fine," I conceded with a shaky breath.  "Five minutes, then you have to go."

I pulled his hand from my hair and turned my head to the side to slip past him.  My hair brushed his face and he inhaled deeply. I walked around the couch and sat down with Paul trailing behind me.  He sat on the coffee table directly in front of me. I tucked my feet under me and crossed my arms over my chest. Suddenly I was aware of my outfit when Paul's gaze traveled back and forth over my bare legs.  I had changed into shorts, tank top and no bra after the party. With the way Paul stared, you would have thought I was wearing sexy lingerie.

"If you have something to say, then say it. Otherwise I'm going to bed."

Paul let his head drop into his hands, roughing up his hair a bit before looking up at me.  He glanced over his shoulder, jerking his head toward the hallway. "Where's your parents?"

"Bed.  It's late, ya know?" I sat there staring at him, running my hand up and down over my bare calves.  

"Embry didn't come home with you?" he asked gently.

I shook my head and tried not to cry because I felt so guilty. "I didn't tell him why I ran out of that party.  I shouldn't have gotten so upset finding out you were having sex with someone else. It's really just none of my business."

Paul leaned toward me, covering my hand with his.  "I didn't have sex with her. That was Tessa, Trent's sister.  That was her room she walked out of. I didn't …"

"I doesn't matter, Paul.  We aren't together and you don't owe me an explanation."

"I do!" he insisted.  He lowered his voice a bit and continued.  "I came out of the bathroom and some guy ran out of her room.  I heard her throwing shit and screaming. I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

I nodded and sighed.  "And one thing led to another and…"

He raised his hand to cup my jaw, his thumb brushing over my lip.  "Just let me finish...please?"

I twisted away from his hold on me.  "Go ahead."

"She had just gotten into a fight with her boyfriend.  Tessa was really drunk and he was mad, so he left. I sat with her for a minute while she calmed down.  Then she was all over me. I pushed her away and told her I wasn't gonna touch her. She said I should go look for some condoms and I agreed so I could get away.  I was never planning on going back in there. I didn't have sex with her."

I nodded and shrugged. "Okay? I really don't know what you want me to say."

Paul slid his hands behind my knees and pulled my legs out from underneath me.  He scooted forward placing his legs on the outside of mine, our knees brushing each other.  He held my hips firmly and looked deeply into my eyes. "I want you to stop looking at me like I hurt you.  I hate that you think I would have sex with someone after I've been telling you for a week now, that you're the one I want to be with."

"We aren't together.  I chose Embry."

"Yeah, you chose Embry," he scoffed.  "Then you told him he was 'safe?' and you knew he would never hurt you. That's pretty fucked up, Keegan.  So you didn't choose me because you thought I would?"

"You did!  You let all those girls dance on you and I thought…"

"I didn't want any of them.  Did you see me touch anyone tonight? Besides you?"  I shook my head and he continued. "Why would I want them?  You're everything I want, Keegan. Fuck! Do you know how hard this is for me? Knowing you want Embry and not me?"

He sighed deeply and knelt in front of me, pushing my legs apart so he could bury his face in my lap.  Instinctively my hands went into his hair, smoothing it down in an effort to comfort him. He wrapped his arms around my midsection, gripping my back tightly as if I would float away.  "I can't stand this, Keegan," he mumbled softly. "I don't know what to do without you."

I lowered my head to rest it on his.  "I don't know either. I thought I was making the right decision, but after the way I acted tonight...I really don't know."

He raised his head slowly until our eyes met.  "Why do you say that?"

"I shouldn't be that jealous.  It's not fair to you or Embry. But I just couldn't help myself.  And it's always been this way. I hate knowing that you sleep with other girls and not…"  I stopped myself from finishing that sentence. I had no right to say it now. I should have said it before we kissed.

"Not you?" he finished, his gaze searching mine.  

"It's too late now. Too much has happened and there's Embry."

Paul leaned in closer, his lips hovering over mine.  "So are you trying to tell me you don't feel anything for me anymore?"

My breathing sped up as he stared at me intensely.  "Yeah," I muttered shakily.  

"You don't want me anymore?" he breathed as his lips brushed across my forehead. 

"No," I gasped as he reached for my face with both hands. 

More intense eye contact. "So then if I kissed you right now...you would feel nothing?" he challenged, even as his mouth angled over mine.

"That's right," I lied as my breath shuddered.  I reached around his shoulders, pulling him close to me, knowing how wrong this was.

I pressed my mouth to his, kissing him roughly and gasping when he pulled me off the couch, hoisting me up with my legs around his waist.  He turned and sat on the couch, holding me firmly as I straddled his lap. His hands moved all over me, squeezing and caressing me. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue ran along my lips and then slid into my mouth. 

I gasped when Paul palmed my breast, brushing his thumb over my erect nipples.  He broke off the kiss to trail his mouth down my neck. He pulled my tank top strap aside, revealing my bare shoulder and the top of my breast.  I buried my fingers in his hair, loving the way his mouth felt on my skin. When he moved lower and paused, I reached under the fabric, lifted my breast and held it up to his mouth.  His face broke out in a wide grin before he latched onto my nipple and sucked it into his mouth.

His lips on my skin caused my core to constrict with need.  I started bucking my hips, feeling how hard Paul was underneath me.  "Paul," I gasped when he switched to the other breast and began thrusting upwards, giving me the friction I needed.  

I could feel my climax creeping up on me.  I gripped the back of the couch, pulling harder, moving faster until it hit me.  I shuddered violently as my orgasm slammed into me. I collapsed against his chest, a sweaty heaving mess.  Paul smiled against my neck, kissing me softly whispering my name and holding me tightly.

I snuggled into his arms, holding him just as close.  Then the regret set in. How could I have done that to Embry?  I pulled away from Paul, looking anywhere but his face. "What's wrong?" he asked when I tensed up. 

"I can't believe I did that," I  gasped as I pushed my hair away from my face.

I peered down at Paul, who couldn't stop smiling.  "That was really something, Kee."

"Don't smile at me," I grimaced.  "I'm a terrible person."

Paul held me tightly in his arms as I struggled to stand. "It's okay, Keegan.  You just need to tell Embry you made a mistake and…"

"What?" I scoffed. "You think this means we should be together?"

I scooted out of his lap and onto the coffee table, needing some distance but not being entirely sure I could stand on my wobbly legs.  Paul smirked at me and it pissed me off. "Yeah, I think it means we should be together," he reasoned. "I mean, if Embry could get you off like that then you wouldn't need me, right?"

I scowled at Paul and raised my hand to smack him.  "You're a pig!"  

Paul grabbed both my wrists and held them down at my sides.  I struggled against him as he leaned closer to me. "Easy, babe.  If you hurt me then we won't be able to do that again."

"Good!"  I yanked my hands from his grasp and pulled him up by the collar of his t-shirt.  He laughed as I dragged him to the front door and moved to open it. He stood behind me and shut the door when I opened it.  "Stop it, Paul."

Paul leaned into me, pressing against my back with his chest while one hand held the door shut.  "Don't be pissed at yourself for getting something you really wanted."

"I had no right to do that," I murmured quietly.  "I just told Embry this morning that I chose him and now I'm dry humping you on my couch."

I turned to face Paul. I saw the fear in his eyes.  "Forget about Embry for just a minute. You've known him for what...a week?  Think about us. We've been friends forever. We have a bond that no one else can understand.  We've always been there for each other."

I leaned against the door, suddenly too weak to stand.  The full weight of what I had done was crashing down on me as I stood there and stared into Paul's beautiful eyes. I got his hopes up. I cheated on Embry.  I was fucking up left and right.

"I love you, Keegan."

My head was swimming.

"Did you hear me?"

Too intense.  How close he stood to me.  His lips so near mine. And a declaration of love?  Oh hell no. 

"You should go," I announced suddenly.  

Paul's expression hardened a bit. "You don't love me, Keegan?"

I sighed deeply.  "Of course I do. I always have.  But you always hurt me, Paul. You'll lose interest and I'll get my heart broken."  I paused and took a deep breath. "We should just stay friends."

Paul looked like I just slapped him in the face.  "Just friends?" he scoffed. "You just came in my lap, Keegan.  There is no fucking way I can just forget that."

I blinked quickly, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks.  Paul used his free hand to grab my wrist and brush my hand over his still prominent erection, pressing from behind his now damp jeans.  "You feel that? I'm not losing interest. This is how it is all the time when I'm around you. I want you. I need you. And it's not just lust.  We could be so good together."

I let my hand fall away from his bulge.  Even then, I still wanted him. I was tingling at the thought that I had gotten him that worked up. I could see and feel and hear how much he wanted me.  My head was pounding. Maybe from the alcohol earlier, but more likely from war going on inside myself.

Did I trust Paul enough to hand my heart over to him?  Could I trust him not to smash it into a million pieces?

"I need to think, Paul.  I need time."

Paul wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly.  "Don't overthink this, Kee. You love me. You want me."

"But I don't trust you." 

Paul sighed and released me.  "We can work on that."

I nodded and smiled.  "Maybe."

Paul held my face in his hands and kissed me softly.  "Sweet dreams, baby."

We stepped away from the door as he slipped out and disappeared into the night.  I trudged to my bedroom knowing I had a lot to think about and sleep would probably be the last thing I'd be doing. 

~*~*~

"Keegan."

I groaned as I opened my eyes slowly.  I saw Embry's sweet face smiling down at me.  He was sitting on the edge of my bed, pushing my hair aside and looking like an angel.  "Good morning," he beamed. "Are you feeling any better?"

I blinked quickly as the memories of last night came flooding back.  "How...how did you get in here?" I asked groggily.

Embry shrugged.  "Your mom let us in."

"Us?" I echoed as I sat up and propped myself up on the headboard.  

Embry cocked his head back toward the doorway.  "Yeah, me and Paul. We wanted to see if you wanted to go to the beach."

Paul was leaning against the open doorway.  He locked eyes on me for a moment before disappearing down the hall.  

"So how about it?" Embry pressed.  "The beach? Does it sound like fun?"

I shrugged as Paul approached the side of my bed with a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol.  I gladly took a dose and gazed up at Paul. He kissed the top of my head and smoothed the hair away from my face.  

I could feel myself blushing when I thought about us on the couch last night.  Shit. I fell right to sleep after Paul left. I didn't think. I didn't come to any decisions about what I should do next. Paul wanted answers and Embry deserved the truth.

After I convinced them both to leave my room and let me get a shower, I dressed and found them in the living room, sharing a box of donuts. Paul offered me one and we set off for the beach in Paul's truck.

The tension in the truck felt thick.  Maybe it was my guilt. Maybe it was the way Paul glared at me when Embry slung his arm over my shoulder and peppered my neck with kisses while we drove to the beach.  My stomach was in knots. I was so afraid Paul would tell Embry what happened, that I knew I had to be the one to tell him.

Paul found a spot in the deserted parking lot and cut the engine.  Embry glanced back and forth between us and furrowed his brow. "Are you guys okay?  There's a weird vibe between you two today."

Obviously Embry is no dummy.

I shrugged and shook my head.  "Everything is fine. Totally cool."

"You should tell him," Paul's deep voice grumbled.  

Fuck.

Embry's expression turned to one of worry.  "Did something happen between you two?"

"No," I answered. 

"Yes," Paul replied the same time I did.

Fuck. 

"Paul and I had a misunderstanding.  I ran out of that party last night because...long story short, I thought Paul was hooking up with a girl from the party," I began, hoping Paul wouldn't add anything.

"You were pretty upset."

I nodded and dropped my gaze to my lap.  "I know I shouldn't have been. But I was.  I took off before Paul could explain what happened."

Embry sighed deeply.  "And?" he asked impatiently, obviously frustrated and aware that there was more to the story.

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded.  "So Paul came over last night to explain what happened with that girl."

Embry glanced between us again and growled lowly.  "Did you fuck him?"

"Embry!" I scoffed loudly.  "No! I couldn't do that."

"Oh really?" he scoffed back.  "I see the little dance you two do around each other.  I'm not stupid. Anyone can see how Paul flirts and you don't discourage it, Keegan.  There's so much sexual tension between you two that I'd have to be an idiot not to notice."

Embry's words cut me deep.  I suddenly felt horrible for him.  He had been holding this in for a while now.  Paul scooted closer to me and rested his hand on my hip.  I sat between them like always so Embry had a clear view of Paul's hand.  

Embry scoffed again.  "Wow. So this is where I'm supposed to step aside and let you two ride off into the sunset together?  Say that the best man won? Well fuck that. You're not better than me, Paul. You know you can't be faithful to her, so why fuck with her heart?"

"Fuck you," Paul growled, tightening his hold on me.  "You don't know me well enough to know what I'm capable of.  I love her. And you don't, so just walk away. You're a good guy, Embry.  You'll find someone else."

"Enough!" I shouted at them both.  "Stop fighting over me. This isn't worth it!"

Embry threw his hands up in the air and flung the truck door open.  I scrambled out and followed Embry as he stalked across the parking lot.  "Embry wait!" I called.

Embry whirled around to face me. "You lied, Keegan.  You said you weren't using me to make him jealous and that's exactly what you did," he spat.

"No," I panted.  "Nothing has changed, Embry.  I still want to be with you."

Embry glanced over my shoulder and I followed his gaze.  Paul was standing beside his truck watching us. "I don't think Paul got that memo.  Whatever happened between you two last night is obviously making him think he won."

"This isn't some fucking game, Embry.  I'm not some prize to be won."

"Tell him that," he retorted, gesturing back to Paul.  "I thought we were good last night. After we made up, I thought we were having fun together...like we always do.  What the hell went wrong?"

I peered up at him and sighed. "I just got so jealous.  I don't know why it bothered me so much," I admitted sadly. 

"Maybe you should figure that out," Embry replied coldly.  "Spend some time with him and find out what it is you really want."

"Seriously?"

He nodded and shrugged.  "But don't expect me to wait for you, Keegan.  I gotta have some pride, ya know?"

"I'm sorry." I reached for his face and was surprised when he let me cup his jaw with my hand.  He pressed a kiss to my palm and then leaned in to kiss my lips. He deepened the kiss and then pulled away abruptly.  

"That's what you'll be missing if you don't pick me," he breathed.  He stared at me for a moment more before turning on his heel and leaving me standing there alone.

What the hell did I just do?

.....

A/N: another update! I'm trying to post something everyday on either this story or Love You Better (Than He Can).

Thanks for reading and leave comments please because they make my day!