"That was months ago, Paul.  You've had lots of opportunities to kiss me since then.  Did you change your mind?"

Paul sighed softly, then he clenched and unclenched his jaw.  I gasped when he leaned forward, slid his hands under my armpits and dragged my body up between his legs, to rest on his chest.  His hands went immediately to my hair as he ran his fingers through my red waves. He pushed through to grip the back of my head, angling my face under his.  He licked his lips and I couldn't tear my eyes away.

"I didn't change my mind, Kee.  I just…" he paused and I noticed the way his eyes were locked on my mouth.  "I just didn't wanna risk losing our friendship if things got weird. You're my best friend.  I don't know what I'd do without you."

I smiled softly and nodded.  "I feel the same way, Paul." I turned my head and rested it on his firm chest.  I slid my hands behind his back and held him close to me. His breathing sped up as he wrapped me in his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.  I smiled when I heard him breathe deeply, inhaling the scent of my hair.

I scooted up a little as I searched for my favorite place on his body.  I buried my nose in the crook of his neck and sighed. Everytime he hugged me, that's where I longed to be.  I felt his fingers smooth up my back and over my shoulders. I shuddered when his fingers tiptoed to the nape of my neck and carressed the soft hairs there.  I could feel the heat pooling between my legs as he touched me. My need for more affection was making me ache deep in my core. 

I dragged my lips along his jaw and waited just beyond the corner of his mouth. "Maybe we could try…"

"Just one kiss?" he breathed as he turned his head and his lips caught mine.  The kiss started off tender and sweet. Our lips barely brushed each other, as we were both so hesitant and nervous.  

When Paul pulled me closer, his hands pressed on the small of my back insistently.  I pushed my hands over his shoulders and intertwined my fingers behind his head, needing to deepen the kiss.  I caught his lower lip between my teeth a little and tugged lightly. When he opened his mouth to gasp, I slid my tongue into his mouth and melted into his arms.

When he cupped my ass and used his hands to spread my thighs, I straddled his lap.  The tension deep in my core was building and without realizing it, I began to grind down on him, feeling how hard he was beneath me.  "Oh, Paul," I breathed as I broke off the kiss and opened my eyes.

Paul sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and smirked.  "You're a really kisser, Kee. Like, really good."

I lowered myself more into his lap and noticed the hitch in his breath when his erection continued to press into me.  "I don't have as much experience as you do," I replied shyly.

When I started rocking my hips forward and gripping his shoulders tightly, my fingers digging into his flesh, he let his head fall back.  I used that opportunity to lower my mouth to the hollow at the base of his throat and swirl my tongue around in it.  

I surprised myself at my own boldness, but when you've fantasized about something for so long and you have the chance to do all those things you've wanted, it's really hard to hold back.  "I want you," I announced suddenly when I was able to pull my mouth from his tempting skin.

Paul raised his head slowly, finding me pulling my tank top over my head and discarding it on the floor.  He watched as I brought my hands to the front clasp of my pale pink lacy bra and opened it slowly. Paul panted as I unhooked the clasp and began to reveal what was underneath.

"Wait," he gasped softly, stilling my hands and assisting me in rehooking it.

I blinked quickly, my mind racing as to how I could've misread his signals.  I thought he wanted me. "What's wrong?" I mused, self consciously covering my chest with my hands when I realized my shirt was too far away to grab.

Paul pulled my hands down and held them in his.  "There's nothing wrong. I...I just need to admit something else to you before we go any further."

My heart sank.  "Worse than the beach story?"

He nodded.  Paul sucked in a deep breath and blew it out.  "I hate to tell you this because I don't think you'll handle it very well.  But it's only fair you know."

I stared at him expectantly and was surprised when he leaned forward to kiss me again.  I accepted his tongue in my mouth and buried my fingers in his hair. He pulled away slowly, pressing his forehead to mine.  "I just had to do that one more time...in case you decide you hate me."

I lifted my fingers to his face and sighed. "You're my most favorite person in the world, Paul.  I can't imagine actually hating you. I've been pretty mad at you, but I've never hated you."

He rolled his eyes and made a face.  "Well you might after this."

I furrowed my brow and leaned back a little.  Paul noticed and his hands zeroed in on my hips, holding me tightly in his lap.  I tried to concentrate when his thumbs started running circles on my skin.

"Are you gonna tell me this secret or what?" I urged.

Paul pressed his lips together and blew a deep breath out from his nose.  "I'm the reason why you've never had a date," he announced suddenly. "For the past three years, anytime I noticed any guy taking an interest in you, I either threatened him so he'd stay away or told him you were mine so he'd back off.  I know how wrong that was now."

My mouth dropped open and I felt Paul's hold on me tighten.  "I can't believe you did that…"

"Please don't hate me," he begged, attempting to pull me in for a hug. I let him hold me for a moment, taking comfort in the arms of the boy who had wounded me so deeply.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I pushed off of his chest and climbed out of his lap.  "I don't get this at all. Do you hate me? Is that what this is?"

"Oh my God, no!" he exclaimed as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and gazed up at me. "I thought I was helping."

"Helping me?" I echoed as I paced the room, looking for my shirt.  "How is it helping me when you've kept me from going on dates, or being asked out to dances or invited to parties?  I've never even had a boyfriend, Paul!"

I watched as he reached down and retrieved my shirt from the floor.  He approached me slowly, his eyes full of regret. "I don't hate you, Keegan.  When I started scaring all those guys off, I told myself I was doing it for you, to keep you safe from creeps that could hurt you."

"You took away my choices, Paul! I'll never know who I could've met because you never let anyone get close enough to me to find out.  You honestly think you were helping me?"

Paul twisted my shirt in his hands and sighed.  "I know I wasn't. I was being a selfish dick...plain and simple."

I shook my head slowly, still trying to process everything.  "I don't understand how you could do this to me?" I whimpered. 

Paul's face contorted painfully at the sound of my voice.  "I convinced myself I was protecting you. And a couple months ago, I realized that I did it for me.  I kept those guys away because I couldn't stand the thought of you going out with anyone but me."

I blinked quickly as he stood close to me, towering over me, so close I could see the unshed tears in his eyes.  "But you weren't going out with me. You never asked me out. And in the meantime, you've slept your way through half the girls in the junior class!"

He swallowed thickly and lowered his head.  "I haven't slept with that many girls."

"And I've barely been kissed!  We're gonna be 17 in a few months and I've been going around thinking…" I paused and dropped my gaze to the floor. I could feel the tears coming and I didn't want him to see me cry.

"Thinking what?" he urged as he lifted my chin gently, forcing me to meet his gaze.

I blinked back the tears and clenched my jaw.  "I thought...I thought nobody wanted me. That I was too ugly to love.  I mean, look at me. This red hair and my pale skin? I'm a freak. And since no boy has ever asked me out, it just confirmed what I always thought."

I stared at Paul and when he said nothing, I reached for my tank top, but he held it behind his back.  "You're not ugly, Keegan… far from it. I know people tease you about being different, but it's just because they're jealous."  He glanced down and sighed deeply before his eyes flicked back up to meet mine. "You're beautiful. And I can guarantee you that there's been lots of guys interested.  And I'm on the top of that list."

I stepped closer and reached behind him in an effort to reach my shirt.  He slid his other arm around me and buried his face in my neck. "Don't leave."

I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned into his touch.  He wrapped both arms around my waist and held me impossibly close.  "Stay the night. We can talk about it. Just don't leave."

My heart ached from how badly I wanted to forgive him.  His warm touch, the mind blowing kisses, his endless compliments, all of it made me want to say screw it and fall into his bed.  This was all I had ever dreamed of. It was right here in front of me and all I had to do was overlook his deception and he could be mine.  

If only it were that easy.

......

A/N: could you forgive Paul?  Would you be able to resist him?

Thanks for the interest in this story.  I promise to keep up with all my updates! Thanks for the great comments and votes ❤