I stood there watching Embry walking away from me for I don't even know how long before Paul approached me. "Keegan," he murmured softly from behind me.

I sucked in a deep breath and swung around to face him.  "Why the hell did you do that?"

Paul's eyes widened like saucers, reacting to my harsh tone.  "Do what?" he inquired innocently.

I shoved him and growled. "Say I should tell him!  You couldn't let me do that my own way? Why couldn't you just stay out of it?"

Paul sighed deeply and I noticed the way his upper lip twitched as his mouth formed a hard line.  "I didn't like the way he was touching you."

I scoffed.  "Are you serious?  Up until a few minutes ago, he was my boyfriend!  You don't get a say if he touches me or not. And if you don't want to see it, then why did you come?"

Paul opened his mouth to speak, but was met by my raised palm.  "Nevermind. I know the answer to that one. You had to be here to interfere. The one thing I begged you not to do."

I stared at Paul for a moment before stalking off toward the beach.  He pulled on my upper arm, yanking me back to face him. "Did you really just tell him nothing had changed...that you still wanted to be with him?" he seethed.

"Leave me alone," I grumbled, squirming to get out of his hold.

Paul didn't let up.  He pulled me closer, using his other hand to press into the small of my back.  "I wish I could," he uttered angrily. "I wish I could walk away from you, from all this love triangle bullshit.  But dammit, Keegan. I can't fucking do that."

His voice was low and growly.  He held me in his arms, both hands on lower back now. "And why is that?" I retorted defiantly.  "Huh?" I added, raising my chin. 

His hands slid lower, until the cupped my ass.  I gasped loudly when he jerked me close. "Because of that.  Those sounds you make when I press into you," he whispered into my hair.  Paul lifted a hand to my mouth, plucking my lower lip with his thumb. "Because of this.  And the way you kissed me last night," he added desperately, lowering his gaze to meet mine.

"And I'm sorry I was impatient...but there was no way I could just sit there and not say anything.  Not after last night. Not after the way you came."

I stared up at him, panting. I hated the way I couldn't control myself with him.  I hated how his eyes, those 'come fuck me' eyes, had me so entranced. Physically, my body craved Paul more than I ever wanted to admit, but my heart wanted my sweet Embry.

Shit.

"Can't you just forget it?" I practically whined.

"You want me to?" he challenged, pulling me tightly against his body.  "Because you keep saying you don't want this and yet here you are," he panted. 

"I don't want this," I uttered breathlessly, my eyes wide with want.

Paul's face hardened, his lip curling into a sneer.  "Fine."

And just like that, he released me.  I stumbled back a bit, my chest heaving from the adrenaline. "You're such a dick," I spat.

"Oh yeah?" he smirked.  "And you're a tease."

"Go fuck yourself, Paul." I squared up to him, refusing to back down.  "You just can't handle rejection. And I never told you I would dump Embry, so you have no right to be pissed."

"No right?" he echoed painfully.  "You keep jerking us both around. So I think I have every right to be pissed.  And you still didn't tell Embry what we did last night so maybe I should."

I stood there gaping at him when he walked away from me.  "Don't do it, Paul. Stop trying to fuck up my life. If you do this...we are done," I threatened as he froze on the spot.

"Aren't we done anyway?" he replied, his voice cracking. Paul refused to face me.  He just stood there for a moment and then stalked back to his truck. 

Me?  I ran. 

I ran toward the water and had to stop myself from jumping in. I didn't feel like fighting the waves.  I didn't feel like fighting anything or...anyone.

Instead I walked the beach, kicking rocks and flipping over shells with my shoes.  I thought and I yelled and I talked to myself. I don't know how I ever screwed this up so badly.

I couldn't stop hurting Embry.  I couldn't stop wanting Paul. In the end, I decided I shouldn't be with either one of them.  My head was too screwed up. That point was made clear with all the bad decisions I had made this past week.  One bad decision after another. 

After a couple hours had passed and I felt too overwhelmed with my emotions to sit alone on a beach, I decided to head home.  My stomach dropped when I saw Paul's truck was gone. Why did I think he would wait?

Why would either of them want to sit around and wait for me to get my head on straight?  If I asked Embry for another chance, what would that do to Paul? Paul would be crushed. If I tried a relationship with Paul, Embry would feel used, like he already does.

Shit.

I trudged through the parking lot, kicking the extra sand off my shoes as I went. My eyes found Paul's truck, parked in a different spot, backed in under the shade of a tree.  I didn't see him sitting in the cab and I checked the backseat, too. When I walked around the back of the truck, I found him.

He was lying in the bed of his truck asleep on a blanket, his forearm bent and covering his eyes.  His t-shirt had ridden up a little, showing the smooth skin of his stomach and a tiny smattering of hair leading below his waistband.  He was truly beautiful. I knew my attraction for him wasn't based solely on his physical appearance.  

As much as he infuriated me, I knew in my heart that Paul Lahote was a sweetheart. He had always cared for me, looked out for me, gone out of his way to cheer me up when I needed it.  Other people didn't know him like I did. He was my person. Even now, he was still the first person I thought of when I had good news, bad news or heard some funny joke I knew he would think was hilarious. 

"Paul."  I reached over the side and pulled on his socked foot.  "Wake up."

He grumbled a little, but barely moved.  I sighed and hoisted myself up onto the tailgate.  I crawled toward him, noticing the sheen of sweat on his arm and stomach.  It was nearly noon and the sun was beating down. He was in the shade, the only reason he hadn't gotten sunburnt already. 

I shook him a few times, but he was really out. 

I turned back to lie beside him.  I noticed that the bed if his truck was unnaturally comfortable. I looked up to see the tree above swaying gently in the breeze.  I sighed when Paul rolled over and smoothed his hand over my stomach. He curled his hand around my waist and pulled me close. 

When his nose found my neck and inhaled deeply, I felt him relax against me.  I laid there stiff for a moment, wondering what he would do next. I smiled when I realized he was still asleep.  I had forgotten how much he loved to cuddle. On the nights we slept in the same bed, we never started off this way.  But somehow in the night, we always gravitated toward each other. In the morning, we would awkwardly laugh as we untangled ourselves. He would say it was me who started it.  I always wondered. Now I think it was him. 

I drifted off in my memories of Paul.  My thoughts of how right this felt warmed me even more than the springtime sun beating down on the water nearby. I hadn't realized how comfortable I felt in his arms or how much I missed him. I sighed deeply as u felt my body relax and drift off to sleep.

"Well hello there."

My eyes fluttered open to find Paul gazing down at me.  He was flat on his back, one arm wrapped around me as I lay curled up to his side.  My head had been on his chest and my leg was bent and resting over his hips. When I moved my thigh to back away, Paul hooked his hand on my knee, fingers curled behind as he held me in place. 

"Don't move, Kee.  You could really hurt me right now," he murmured, his smirk evident.

I could feel his erection pressing into my thigh.  My eyes widened at the realization and I could feel myself blushing.  "Sorry. Did I...do that?"

I honestly didn't remember rolling over to him.  I was obviously clinging to him. He chuckled as he brushed his lips across my hairline. "I almost always wake up like this.  But since you're hanging all over me, yeah, it's your fault."

I squirmed in his arms as I scoffed.  "You were all over me first!"

Paul wouldn't let me roll away from him.  He held me tightly to his body, his hand firmly pressed to the small of my back, while the other still held me leg.  "I'm innocent," he claimed. "I fell asleep back here alone."

"I couldn't wake you up," I admitted as I tipped my head back and looked for his eyes.  

He let go of my leg, instead bringing that hand to cup the side of my neck, his thumb brushing my jaw.  "This feels nice, Keegan. I've missed sleeping next to you."

His voice was soft and low.  His eyes twinkled as they darted back and forth to scan mine.  With every fiber of my being, I knew he wanted to kiss me. And I wanted him to. I just wanted to forget everything I've done and how badly I've screwed up.  I wanted to forget he's an ass.

"Paul," I murmured, almost sounding like a whimper.  "We shouldn't do this."

"Do what?" he teased, even as he lowered his lips to my neck and kissed his way up to my ear and back down again.

I tipped my head back, allowing him to explore further. He moaned softly as his tongue trailed the underside of my chin.  "I want you so bad," Paul exhaled.

My eyes snapped open as I realized I was making, yet again, another mistake. I shifted my body over his, straddling his hips and pinning his hands over his head.  Paul chuckled in response. "Is this a deterrent?" he sighed. "Cuz I gotta be honest, Keegan. This only makes me want you more."

I gasped when he opened his legs, forcing my weight to drop lower on his groin.  His eyes rolled back from the contact. I swallowed thickly as he began raising his hips up, pressing into me.  It was all I could do to not meet his thrusts. I put more pressure on his wrists and noticed the way his eyes darkened and the groan that passed through his perfect lips.  

"I'm surprised you like this so much," I taunted, lowering my breasts near his mouth before backing off.

"Surprised?" Paul echoed, growling a little in frustration. "Why wouldn't I love you holding me down right now?" He paused and laughed, his smile wide and bright. "Although you must know...I'm totally letting you overpower me right now."

I smirked.  "Yeah sure," I challenged, pressing harder on his wrists.

His eyes flashed with excitement as he rolled us over pressed me back and held my wrists in the same way.  "Who's in charge now?"

I scowled and squirmed below him, groaning when he nudged my thighs closed and straddled my hips.  "Say it, Keegan. Say I'm in charge of you. I dominate you, not the other way around."

"Get off!" I squealed when he lowered his face to mine.  "You don't dominate anything about me, Paul Alexander Lahote.  You're so full of yourself!"

Surprisingly, he released my hands, but remained sitting on my hips.  He kept his full weight on me as he sat up. I kept lying there, chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath.  He just smiled at me, admiring how worked up he made me. Revenge time.

I gazed up at him, fluttering my lashes as I reached for the button on his jeans.  I slid my fingers behind the button, my thumb hovering in front. He lowered his eyes, locking in on my hand.  I watched as his breathing sped up. He leaned forward, his palms flat on the bed of the truck on either side of my hips.  My gaze flicked to his lips as they hovered just above mine. 

Paul's eyes drifted closed when I let the back of my fingers brush over the trail of hair near his waistband. The one I've never touched.  The one I can't stop looking at… or wondering where it leads. Like I didn't know. Like I can't feel it every time he's up against me. I knew.  I just couldn't stop thinking about it. For a moment, I almost felt bad for what I'm about to do. Almost.

But not really. 

"Fuck!"

Paul howled when I shoved him back and his head hit the end of the tailgate.  He nearly tumbled out of the bed as I scrambled over him and made a break for it.  "Dominate this, asshole!" I called out as my feet hit the ground and I ran.

I gasped when Paul caught up to me, wrapping his huge arms around mine, lifting me right off the ground by my midsection. "Asshole?" he chuckled.  "Did you really call me that after what you just did to me?"

I wiggled in his arms as he carried me back to the truck and deposited me in the front passenger seat.  I sat there suppressing a smile as he drove me home. He fidgeted in his seat, adjusting the crotch of his jeans uncomfortably.  I gave him a sideways glance and chuckled. "You okay over there?" 

He ignored me, so I slid closer and turned to face him.  Finally he spoke, "You're the asshole, Keegan. That shit you pulled...I'll get you for that."

"Oooh.  I'm scared," I teased.

"You should be," Paul growled softly, as his hand slid over my thigh, resting just below the hem of my shorts.

I turned back to look straight ahead, not bothering to remove Paul's hand.  "So did you come to any decisions while you were out there screaming on the beach?"

I gave Paul a sideways glance and smiled at him.  "You were listening?"

"It was hard not to," he smirked as his thumb rubbed a circle on my exposed thigh, dipping past the edge.

I nodded and tried to regulate my breathing. "Why didn't you just leave?"

He sighed deeply.  "I wanted to. I was so pissed at you.  I tried to drive off, but…"

"But what?" I prodded as we pulled up to my house and he cut the engine.

He clenched his jaw before turning to face me fully.  "I wanted…" he lowered his gaze to my lap and shook his head.

"What?" I breathed as I smoothed my flattened palm up the side of his face. 

"I wanted to be there if you needed me," he blurted quickly, his gaze not quite meeting mine.

"Paul," I sighed as he pulled me into his arms and held me tightly to his chest.

Paul pulled back slowly and held my face in his large hands.  He bit down on his lower lip as he peered down at my mouth. I sighed when he traced my lips with his thumb.  "So fucking beautiful," he murmured as my eyes drifted closed.

I felt my core tighten as he breathed against my mouth.  I leaned up in anticipation of his kiss, only to feel nothing.  I opened my eyes to find him smirking at me. "You might want to think twice about messing with me again, Keegan."

I scoffed. "Really?"

He pulled away from me fully and started his truck back up.  "See ya around, I guess."

I scrambled out of my seat and fled to the front door. Damn, I guess I'll never learn.

I spent the next 24 hours considering my next move.  I needed to make a choice and stick with it. I just had to decide once and for all, who I wanted.

The next afternoon, I walked the few blocks to get to Paul's house.  His mom opened the door and we talked for a little bit before she sent me upstairs to see my oldest friend.

I leaned against the outside of the doorway and peered in.  Jared noticed me first. "Well what do we have here?" he teased as he paused the video game with the controller he held in his hand and stood to cross the room.  "Long time, no see, Keegan."

I chuckled as I stepped inside and let Jared sweep me into a hug.  "You look good," he gushed as he wrapped his arms around my neck. "You feel good too," he added, flirting like always.

I hugged Jared around his waist and laughed.  "You act like you never see me."

Jared pulled away slowly and nodded.  "Well since you started hanging out with these two, I feel like I never do."

I glanced over at Paul and noticed Embry sitting next to him.  I didn't see Embry before. His expression was hard and unreadable and suddenly I felt nervous to be here.  Jared glanced at me and then at them. "So...I guess I'll go. I'll see you guys tomorrow at school then?"

I touched Jared's forearm and smiled.  "You don't have to leave because of me."

Jared hooked a finger under my chin and raised it a bit. "It's not.  I made plans to see Kim before dinner, so I should go." He tossed a head nod at his two friends  squeezed my shoulder and was out the door before I could say another word.

Embry stood up and placed his controller on the floor.  "I should go too. I should see if my mom needs any help."

I sighed when I realized how uncomfortable my presence was making Embry.  "I wish you would stay," I uttered honestly as I crossed the room to face him.

He glanced at me and then Paul.  "I don't know," he muttered hesitantly. "Obviously you came to see Paul, so…"

"I have something to say to both of you.  I just didn't realize you'd be here, but I'm glad you are."

Embry sighed and nodded slowly.  Paul sat fiddling with his controller, his face etched in anger.  "Is that okay, Paul? If I stay and talk to both of you?"

He tossed the controller up on the bed behind him and shrugged.  "You're here, so why not?"

Embry resumed his spot next to Paul as they both sat with their backs to the bed.  I sat between them, facing them, suddenly speechless with my stomach tied up in knots. I rubbed my hands on my jean shorts and sighed.  "I just wanted to say...this has been one of the best...and worst weeks of my life."

I paused to make eye contact with each of them, wondering if either of them would speak to me after this.  "I've thought about this a lot and I've come to a decision about who I should be with and what's best for me."

"And who would that be?" Embry urged, trying his best not to sound too eager.

My gaze flicked back and forth between them and I swallowed thickly.  I knew once I said this, I couldn't go back. It would be out there and if have to deal with the consequences.  I sucked in a deep breath and steeled myself for their response.

"I choose…"

.....

A/N: sorry for the long delay on this.  I've been very blocked on this fic but I think I've got it all figured out now. Thanks to hexopedia for helping me.  You're the best!