From: @sixth_numero
To: @HoneybeedelSol
Sent: Sun, 01/26/2020, 09:01 AM
Subject: To the girl I used to hang out with the most...

Hon,

Hey. This is probably my fourth attempt of sending you an email. Sa'n na dumeretso 'yong mga nauna? Spam messages ba or deretso trash bin? Lol. Sorry sa istorbo.

Saw your post on facebook. Well, ang totoo pinakita sa'kin ni Eghart since blocked na ako sa'yo. Nakita ko pic mo with your workmates from the tv station. Partying in a bar? You looked happy. I'm glad.

How's life in Manila? I'm glad you've met some new friends. Mahilig ka pa naman sa hang out. Speaking of hang out, nagpunta pala akong National Bookstore noong Sabado. Hindi ko alam kung ano pumasok sa kokote ko. My feet just suddenly brought me there.

Siguro na-miss ko lang kung pa'no mo ako pilitin no'n na samahan ka every after school. While you were busy browsing for books, nababagot naman ako kakasunod sa'yo.

"Ten minutes lang," you would always say.

"You say that every time..." I muttered. Laging nagiging isang oras naman.

"Bibilhin mo ba 'yan o tititigan lang?" tanong ko tuwing mapapansin na hindi ka na nagsasalita at nakatitig lang sa cover ng libro.

Then very, slowly you would shake your head and bit your lower lip. "Shit. Ubos na allowance ko."

"Pa'nong 'di mauubos halos kada linggo kang namimili ng novels."

"E fav author ko 'to. Baka sold out na'to bukas," you whined and put the book down.

I stared at the book's title and it's author's name. "Di ba marami ka nang book niya? Bakit kailangan mo pa e pareho lang naman 'yan."

Inirapan mo ako. "You won't understand us girls and romance novels. Iba-iba naman kasi ang plot."

"But they're all fiction," I argued.

"Such a guy, Sais...Halika na nga." Hinila mo na ako palabas ng store. Huminto ako at binalikan 'yong libro ng paborito mong author. And I picked it up.

Kunot-noo mo akong tinitigan. "Wala na nga akong pera."

"Ako meron pa," I calmly answered and went straight to the counter to pay.

"Babayaran kita. Don't worry," you insisted on the way to my car.

"Bayad na," sabi ko.

"Ha?"

Binuksan ko na pinto ng sasakyan para makapasok ka. And because you looked so confused I spoke again.

"Masaya ka 'di ba?"

Laki ng ngisi mo yakap 'yong libro. "Hehe. Oo!"

"E 'di bayad ka na," I said and urged you to get in.

Kakapasok ko lang sa driver's seat at naupo na nang mapansin kong nakatingin ka sa'kin.

"What?"

Nagtaas ka ng isang kilay. "Hoy, Sais. Hindi ako tulad ng mga babae mo ha. At saka mas matanda ako sa'yo."

I adjusted my seat belt."Hindi talaga. Hindi ko naman sinasamahan at binibilhan ng libro sa National Bookstore ang mga babae ko."

And you'd laughed. Hindi pa tayo no'n.

At nang naging tayo na, hindi na ako nagreklamo sa muling pagsama ko sa'yo.

By the way, I bought your favorite author's newly published book yesterday. Hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko rito. Siguro meron ka na nito. Tapon ko na lang.

Maliban sa book store, dinamay mo rin ako sa kdrama marathon mo. Every time na lang na uuwi ka ng Cebu. We'd always fight what to watch. I wanted action movies, kdrama naman sa'yo. Tapos, tangina ang tagal pa matapos. Series, babe.

"I just don't get it," sabi ko. Nasa sala tayo ng bahay namin. My parents were out of town. For business. We were sitting on our sofa. Your head leaning on my shoulder. Nasa center table nakapatong ang laptop ko. Pinili mo sa'min manood dahil malakas ang internet.

"Waeyo?"

I rolled my eyes. 'Di mo nakita kasi tutok na tutok ka sa palabas. "Hon, hindi ka koreana, okay?"

You bit my shoulder. It only made me laugh.

"Ano ba kasi ang hindi mo na-gets?"

I pointed my laptop. "That one. Why do you like watching it, when you don't even understand their language. Well, without the English subtitle."

"Dahil nakakakilig sila. Okay na?" sabi mo.

"Bakit ako. Nakakakilig naman ako ah, why don't you watch me instead?" I regret the moment those words slipped out of my mouth.

Tinawanan mo ako. After a while, you calmed down. I could feel your gaze on me. Nag-iwas naman ako ng tingin. I was frustrated and ashamed at the same time. Lagi na lang akong nawawalan ng confidence sa sarili pagdating sa'yo.

Bigla mo akong hinalikan sa pisngi. Now you got my attention and I got yours.

"Clingy mo baby," tukso mo sa'kin.

I gestured on my lap. "Come sit on my lap."

Ngumisi ka at umiling. "Internet pinunta ko rito okay. Hindi make out session..."

Hinila ko ang kamay mo hanggang mapakandong ka na sa'kin. Lakas ng tili mo.

"Sixth..."

I hugged and held you closer. Ang bango mo. You smelled jasmine. Inayos ko skirt mo dahil naka-hike na at halos makita na legs mo.

And then I stared at your face. You were staring right back at me. Ganda mo.

"Just let me kiss you once, and then I'll leave you to your kdrama," I softly asked.

You licked your lips it turned red. I groaned and kissed you. Kissed you passionately that I even forgot I had a due term paper in college to do. Fucking profit and revenues.

You moaned. I forcefully stopped. "Alright. That's it."

You look drunk and turned on. You weren't the only one.

At habang abala ka na sa panonood ng kdrama, abala naman ako sa panonood sa'yo.

Siguro nga dahil sa pagiging palaging magkasama natin, minsan nati-take for granted ko na.

Remembering those precious moments now, it makes me wish we could have more of it.

Ngayon, may sarili ka nang mundo at hindi na ako parte no'n. Nasanay akong laging nasa mundo mo. Sinanay mo 'ko, Hon. Ni hindi ko na alam kung paano gagalaw sa mundo ko kasi gusto ko 'yang sa'yo. Ang mundong ginagalawan mo. Ang mundo kung nasa'n si Honeybee del Sol.

Hon, hindi ko siya minahal. Fuck. Alam ko na ilang beses ko na 'tong nasabi sa'yo noong kasagsagan ng confrontations natin. And I know that it doesn't make any difference, even a tad bit. I was an asshole, I admit. Pero tangina hindi ko siya minahal.

Ikaw lang, Hon. Ikaw lang.

And how I wish I can hang out with you again.

How I wish I can be that guy again who goes with you at the book store. We can build your own library of it.

How I wish I can be the guy again who watches kdrama with you. I can even download your fav series para hindi na mag buffer kung online streaming.

Just. Just a hang out with you. Shit. I sound pathetic. Sorry.

-Sixth-