~Y/N POV~

Its been three days since I've been home and today while I knew Namjoon would be at work I came home. I know we need to talk but now to know he's having a baby with someone else maybe I shouldn't tell him about the one we'll be sharing.

I could tell by looking at the woman that she's gonna be hard to deal with and if she really is having his child also then why should he miss out on that child. He wouldn't miss out on mine in my opinion it's just he wouldn't know that the child is his.

During my stay with Jimin I met up with Namjoons mom since she's been wanting to meet up with me a lot and talk about baby stuff. She knows I haven't told Namjoon but I told her why and she was very pissed at this new girl that came in the picture. Jin was also with us and said he believes that this girl is using Namjoon, trying to convince me other wise but all of this is just too much drama for my liking so I'd rather stay out of it for now.

Namjoons parents both know it's his baby but yet I cant bring myself to tell him and I don't want him to know. Not now. Though I cant help but think Mrs Kim and Jin have plans because when I came back from the bathroom they were whispering in deep conversation until I came back and changed the subject completely. It was weird but I didn't ask questions. If its something about drama or something I don't want to hear it.

I came home because there's things I need to talk to Namjoon about and that I've made my decision. He wont like it but I think it's best if I do this. I already packed a few things in my room and they're currently in my car waiting for me. I just couldn't leave without speaking to Namjoon first and letting him know face to face. I'm not going to stand here and say I wont cry because I probably will, he's my best friend, the father of my child and the man I love so much but yet seems like I could never have. I should of taken my chances with him when I had it. I regret it now but I cant do anything about it now.

I stood in the kitchen just waiting for Namjoon to come home, drinking a glass of water but think how I wish I could drink to settle my nerves but I cant and it sucks.

After what seems like hours I heard the front door handle turn with a click and then it opened to close again followed by a long heavy sigh from Namjoon. Yep he's home but I cant bring myself to move from my spot to go see him and talk to him. I mean I know he's angry and frustrated about all this too. Jin told me what he was like after I left with the 'new woman' he was rude and angry with her. It made me feel good to know that but it still doesn't change anything.

I hitched at breath with I heard his footsteps approaching the kitchen, I just froze in my spot by the kitchen Island with my sights in the door until he appeared in the door way to stand equally frozen to se me standing here. We stood there staring at one another until he rushed over breaking out of his frozen state first and brought me into his tight embrace. Because of the obvious height difference between us I was fully covered by his large body in his arms. It was nice to hug him like this again, it felt like the last time I could do this again.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours but it was only seconds, maybe no longer than a minute but it was a very long minute if that's how long it was. We pulled apart but Namjoon instead took my hands into his with relief spread across his face to see me back again but what he doesn't know is what I'm about to tell him.

"Thank god you're back. You have no idea how worried I was that you weren't going to." Namjoon

I gave him a sad smile and at the he immediately sensed something was wrong, tightening his grip pn my hands.

"Is something wrong? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" Namjoon

It melts my heart to think that even when he thinks this baby isn't his he still asks if its okay like it was the simplest thing to ask even after all the fuss he pulled when he found out.

"The baby is fine Namjoon and so am I. I er.....I actually came here to tell you something. Something important."

The more I think about it now as he stand in front of me, the more harder it feels to say it out loud for him to hear. The moment I say it there's no going back and but I don't change my mind either. I think it's best this way, for all of us.

Namjoons face spreads with mixed emotions as he sees how serious yet sadden I have become.

"What is it?" Namjoon

I took a deep breath momentarily closing my eyes repeating in my head what I have to say. Then finally to just say it like ripping off a bandaid.

"I'm moving out."

I watched with a heavy heart how his face dropped as if his own heart had done the same thing and expressed a pained look for a moment before squinting his eyes at me shaking his head.

"You're not serious are you?" Namjoon

I couldn't answer him and looked down to the floor at my feet.

"Y/n please tell me you're joking?! Please? Because it's not funny." Namjoon

I sighed sadly yet very heavily.

"No im not joking Namjoon. I already packed some of my bags. They're in my car I just wanted to tell you in person."

He drops out joined hands and steps back in disbelief. I forced myself to look up at him as he steps away at me. He already had tears brewing in his eyes as he looks at me with nothing but hurt.

"Really? You're moving out? Why? Because of that girl? I want nothing to do with her y/n! I don't remember sleeping with her!" Namjoon

He took only one step closer as he was pleading with me through his eyes as if he was in some way trying to get me to stay but just saying he wants nothing to do with that girl. But it won't work.

"I already know. Jin told me everything."

"Then you know how much I hate that woman! Please just don't go! Don't move out. Please y/n?!" Namjoon

I turn away from him with my back to him. I couldn't bare to look at his heart broken face equally matching mine. My tears were running down my face and I aggressively wiped them away.

"I can't stay Namjoon. That child might be yours and you'll need to be there for it. For the woman too since Jin tells me she's told you she's homeless. She'll need a place to stay, a pregnant woman can't sleep in the streets Namjoon."

My heart was shattering as I spoke. Remembering when Jin told me the next day the woman showed up again begging for help.

I was startled when a pair of arms wrapped around my body in yet another tight hug that squeezed me around the upper chest.

"No im not letting you go anywhere. I don't want her here in our home. Where would you go?" Namjoon

He buried his face into the crook of neck from behind and I couldn't help but lean into him with my hands on his around my chest.

"My dads. I'm going to stay at my dads he needs the company anyway."

I spoke to my dad yesterday and told him of the news he's going to be a grandfather and just everything between myself and Namjoon. He was over the moon about the news but sad about the situation Namjoon and I were in.

I blame myself to be honest. I should of taken the risk.

"I still don't want you to go y/n. You don't need to go anywhere. She's a liar, a gold digger. Please stay so I could take care of you. I'd rather have you as my best friend than nothing at all." Namjoon

I turned around and cupped his wet tear stained cheeks and forced him to look me in the eyes.

"Even when I move out we'll still be best friends Joonie. It's just the difference is that I will no longer be living here with you but also that I love you very very much. It's for the best, really."

Not only was I trying to convince him but myself also. To stand here and see how this affects him so as well as myself it almost makes me want to take everything back in but I can't. It's too late.

"It's not for the best y/n. You and I are meant to be together one way or another." Namjoon

I nod closing my eyes and joining our heads together as we cry together also.

"I know but it's like the universe doesn't want us to be. At least for now. I must get going anyway Namjoon. I'll give you a text later on if that's okay?"

I asked him pulling myself away form him and wiping my tears with the back of my hand and moving towards the kitchen door.

"Wait!" Namjoon

He again rushes over to my grabbing my hand before I could leave the room. He pulls me closer to him again our chest pressed against one another.

"One last time then. Let me kiss you. Just once." Namjoon

With a quivered lip I silently nod and he slowly with anticipation did he lean down to my level to gently press his lips to mine. It had been so long since we shared a kiss and it was just as good as the last time. Butterflies exploded in my stomach and I felt like I was dancing on air just being able to do this before I leave this apartment.

After several seconds of taking in each other's warmth of the lips we pulled apart but only for me to this to rush out of the apartment before I change my mind and take it any further.

I balled my eyes out all the way to my car and on the drive to my dads. The strings holding my heart in one piece slowly dying off the further I drove away from the man i so desperately wish to be with.

Why am I so stupid?!
Why does fate hate me so much?!