~Y/n POV~

I'm so excited for my trip away with Jimin. I've never been to Hawaii but I'm looking forward to the hot weather and beautiful scenery it has to offer. Not to mention the fact that Jimin will ask me to be his girlfriend. I haven't told him I know but I want to see how he does it. Hoseok told me he can be very romantic when it comes to stuff like that so another thing to be excited about.

Namjoon however worries me. He's become very quiet and doesn't hang out, much in the living room with us except for every now and again. I can't help but think he's sad about me going away for a week but he doesn't have to worry, I'll be back.

I already had my suitcase half packed and I was in the middle of finishing it when I heard Namjoon come home from work.

"Joonie is that you?"

It had to be him, he's not exactly quiet when he comes home.

"Yeah it's me. I'm gonna change and then I'll come to see you." Namjoon

He sounds tired yet, sad.

"Is everything okay?"

I asked him while I fold a pair of shorts and place them in my suitcase. He sighed from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, well, (sigh) no actually, I'm not okay. Could I talk to you in a couple minutes?" Namjoon

"Of course. You can talk to me about anything Joonie. Just come in when your ready I'm just packing."

He hummed and I listen to him open his bedroom door and shut it again. He sounds so sad, it hurts to know he's upset about something. Maybe if he just talks to me it'll help him feel better if he does. I just hope it's not about me going away tomorrow, it would put a damper on the night before I go away when I was planning on ordering a takeaway and watching his favourite films, just the two of us.

I went to my bathroom and packed up a make up bag with of course my make up and then some deodorant and some perfume to put all in my suitcase as well as toiletries. That will all be needed for a week away.

Once I packed my things up I was all done, now zipping up the suitcase to place it on the floor. Just as I did there was a knock on the door and it slowly opened at the same time.

"Ah! Joonie just in time I finished packing."

I smiled down at my suitcase to then look back at him frowning down at my suitcase to then look back at me.

"Can we talk now please?" Namjoon

"Yeah, come on let's sit on my bed."

I grabbed his hand and led him to my bed. He seems nervous when he but his lip and looked down at our hands entwined together.

"I can tell there's something wrong with you Joonie. You've been acting distant the past week."

He chuckled but a smile didn't appear on his lips.

"It's that obvious is it?" Namjoon

"Yes it is now tell me what's up? You said you wanted to talk and you know you can tell me anything."

He furrowed his brows together.

"Even if it might affect our friendship?" Namjoon

Well that caught me off guard. Nothing can ruin our friendship. We've gone through too much together over the years to throw it all away and he'll we even had sex and it never changed anything between us.

"Oh course it won't. Nothing would ruin it, we're besties and we've even had sex and it didn't affect anything between us."

He slowly looks up from our hands. He's not his cheery self right now which worries me.

"What if it changed things for me?" Namjoon

What is he talking about?

"I don't understand. Do you not see me as a friend anymore?"

I hoped to god that's not what he meant just when I removed my hands from his, scared to what he might say. But he widen his eyes and shook his head.

"That's not what I meant. It's just..I don't....oh shit this is hard." Namjoon

He sighed, to then push back his hair from his forehead.

"You can tell me. I'm not running off anywhere."

"Well you're going away tomorrow." Namjoon

"But I'll be back this time next week. I promise, you can't rid of me that easily."

I playfully push his shoulder only for him to grab my hand and pull me close and surprise me with his next action.

His lips were on mine.

I couldn't help but melt into his lips to now realise how I missed his lips on mine. He pulled away but only to rest his forehead on mine, breathing heavily from the intense kiss.

"I would never want to get rid of you. I love you too much for you to ever leave me." Namjoon

His fingers brushed gently along the skin of my cheek as he stared into my eyes.

"I love you too Joonie."

He pressed his lips together but I couldn't help but lick mine in response to watching him do that.

"No, I love you more than a friend y/n. I think I always have but never realised it until recently. I wanted to tell you before you go away and come back with a boyfriend or I would never of forgiven myself for not telling you." Namjoon

My heart swelled at his words. I had no idea he felt this way about me. I always thought we were just friends but now just friends that had sex but it's been a while to say that now. I care about him a lot and I do love him. If only he had told me sooner then thing would have been different.

"Joonie I.."

"It's okay if you don't love me the same y/n. I would be more than happy to just accept your love as friends. But just so you know, I will love you until the day I die even as a old couple as friends I would be by your side throughout your life. Just remember that. If your happy then I'm happy for you." Namjoon

Oh darn him.
He's made my eyes water and my heart swell even more so with his words. Why?
Why did he have to tell me now when he should of told me this weeks ago?!

"You should of told me when you first felt this way."

I could only whisper at this point, and press my nose to his slightly and reach around to the top of his head to drag my fingers through his hair.

"I know. I was just scared to tell you in case you ran away." Namjoon

"This doesn't change our friendship Joonie. Like I said you can't get rid of me that easily. If you told me weeks ago things right now would be different in many ways. I love you too but I really like Jimin and I'd be scared in hurting him but also you too."

"How would you hurt me?" Namjoon

"What if something between us didn't work out. Then all our friendship would likely to disappear and I would be terrified if that were to ever happen."

He blinks a few times to look down with his eyes to then met my eyes once more.

"I understand what you're saying. So you love me too then? Like the same way I do? But don't want to take the risk?" Namjoon

I'm not a risk taker type and he knows that. I wouldn't act on something unless I knew it would all be okay and work out in the end and if we did turn this into an actual relationship then it could go down hill for all I know and I don't want to lose him over anything. No matter what I feel for him. The feelings I've developed for him I've been pushing away to forget the scary thought and focus on Jimin.

"I don't like risks Joonie. You know that."

"I do but you took a risk in sleeping with me in the first place." Namjoon

"It wasn't a risk. I knew it would work out between the two of us. Now I guess you figured out that your bisexual then."

I chuckled and dragged my finger along the side of his ear to his jawline.

"Yes I did but your the only woman I ever want to be with. Just...give me one more night with you. Before you go. I might not ever have the chance again." Namjoon

He eyes traveled down to my lips when all I could stare at was his lips. I want to so bad but I'm going away tomorrow morning. But at the same time I'm not actually in a relationship with Jimin until we both confirm it and just now we're just two friends that will be going on holiday together. So what the hell.

"Kiss me."