I just wrote this in one sitting. I've spent so long unsure where to go with this book/editing. I just read all 26 chapters and realized I know what I want to do. Here are 4,000 words.

PS: New cover. Watcha think? 

 Enjoy - A xx 

Harry's expectations of a semester break that is therapeutic immediately is thrown out the window once he arrives home. After spending the morning with Niall, discussing his life options and how to deal with the ever-evolving situation with Louis, he decides to spend time with his mum. He did a fair job at pushing her away after his trauma, and Harry knew Anne did not deserve that. He loved his mother and he wanted to be transparent with her about his emotions. She raised him to treat people with kindness and he realises he needs to implement it more in his life.

As Harry's slowly making his way up the front steps, his mind is running a million miles an hour. The walk home he has been playing the Louis situation over and over, and he still does not have a solution to the problem. But as he nears the front door, it swings open. Harry's immediately frozen in place as he watches his mother walk out the door followed by an older looking man. His mother is smiling and laughing happily, something that Harry has not genuinely witnessed in far too long. She shakes the man's hand and thanks him as he goes to leave. Harry locks eyes with her, and then the man turns to him.

"Harry! This is Darren, our real estate agent,".

"Hi Harry, how are you going? I was just having a look at your lovely home," Darren outstretches a hand, and Harry hesitantly shakes it.

"Hey, nice to meet you," Harry says slowly, frowning and looking back at his mother.

Darren drops his hand after shaking and starts to walk down the stairs, but quickly turns back towards Harry and Anne.

"I'll get in contact with you soon Anne about the settling offer, it was lovely talking with you today," He waves.

Harry quickly walks inside and while his mother is saying goodbye, he lets the words sink in. He can feel the hairs raising on every inch of his body when the reality starts to dawn on him. But there was not a chance in hell his mother would be selling this house. She had not even mentioned it. Harry has to sit down on the stairs and take a deep breath. He anxiously bounces his knee as he watches his mother return inside. As soon as she closes the door, she exhales loudly and mentally prepares herself for a serious chat.

"Settlement offer? What exactly is he meaning mum?" Harry locks eyes with mother, voice low and wavering.

Anne suddenly looks and feels so small, and Harry can feel the guilt radiating off her as she offers him a gentle smile and sits next to him on the stairs.

"As your mother, it is my duty to protect you. There have been many aspects of your life that has changed so drastically the last few months and I feel like there's so much hurt and damage here. I've done a fair bit of thinking and I think for the sake of your mental health and safety we start over,".

Harry stays silent, while he tries to muster up enough words to even make a sentence. He closes his eyes and his chest suddenly feels like it is being crushed.

"I know that you've got your good friends Niall and Ed. But with the severity of the situation with Nick, the bullying at school and your own mental health plummeting, I need to step up and protect you. I have only got a small window of time before you are not my baby anymore. But I will never stop protecting you Harry. I love you,".

Harry finally finds his voice, although his mouth is sandpaper dry.

"And you think that by uprooting away from my best friends in my senior years of high school and starting over again, that I'll magically be better? You don't think that I'm going to negatively impacted even more?".

"I've considered everything. I have spoken with your school and they're going to give you a great recommendation. I have looked at a few different schools and there's some amazing programs that would boost your university application,".

Harry clenches his jaw, and he can feel the familiar burn of tears rising. He's on the verge of hyperventilating but he's holding it back. He doesn't want to lose his temper, he's come too far to just go backwards again.

"You've already spoken to my school? And have you applied for other schools already? Where even are these schools? Where are you thinking about taking us? We're staying here...right?".

When Harry is met with silence, he can feel the cracks in his emotional barrier appear and he knows he'll burst soon. He whips his head towards his mother, who is fidgeting with her fingers and eyes watering.

"Where?" His voice comes out a lot louder and choked out than initially expected.

"It's not too far away, have you heard of Doncaster?".

The word hits Harry like a knife through the heart. He feels the air physically getting knocked out of him, and he automatically feels winded.

"That's 2 hours away," Harry's voice sounds strangled with pain.

"You have to think about your own health Harry. I know it's hard but please don't be angry,"

"How long...how long have you been planning this?" Harry can feel the betrayal quickly being overcome with anger.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and clenches his teeth. His mind is reeling. He doesn't know how long he has left here, and there's so much unfinished business. Louis. He doesn't want to leave Louis, not after the progress they've made. Harry begins to stand up and lets out a frustrated groan when his mother doesn't answer his questions.

"Answer me!" He yells.

He knows he can't talk to his mother like this, he was trying to work on their relationship. But he's never felt more betrayed in his life.

"I've been putting things into action for a few weeks. You've been offered a place in a wonderful program...and your school has already forwarded their support letter. We've had an amazing offer and we're in the final stages of settling. I've found a beautiful place for us over there. Things are going to improve so much for us Harry,"

Harry can't hear anymore, he genuinely can't not even for a second longer. He finds himself up the stairs and in his room within a minute. He closes his door and locks it. He paces back and forth for a few moments, pulling at his hair. What the fuck is he supposed to do?

He looks at his phone. He needs to let Niall and Ed know. He needs to tell Louis it's done, there's nothing else he can do. But it is a good thing, right? Louis can keep teaching; he can keep living his normal life and not have it disrupted by Harry. So why doesn't it feel like a good thing?

Harry spends about an hour mentally preparing himself to leave the house and talking with the people he cared about most. He knew reality wouldn't settle in for a while but talking with others might help with it. He changes into warm clothing and leaves before he goes insane. He makes the exist quick, and ensures he is not stopped by his mother on the way out.

He knows he should be on his way to Niall or Ed, but right now there's another person on his mind. He doesn't know what's going to happen anymore, but he needs to tell Louis. He needs to properly talk to him without an argument starting. He'll go to Niall and Ed afterwards; and he knows that's going to break his heart more than anything.

He whips out his phone, sending a quick text to Louis as he mentally tries to remember where exactly Louis lived.

I'm on my way to talk to you. Something's come up. Sorry if you're busy. But this is important.

10 minutes later, he feels his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He quickly unlocks his phone and opens it.

I'll be home in 15. Everything ok?

Harry considers replying with something sarcastic but decides to leave it. He'll leave the conversing once he's with Louis.

-

Harry's sat at one end of Louis' couch, and Louis is sitting awkwardly at the other end. Harry cannot stop staring and drinking in the sight of Louis. He only just saw him, but each time is like looking at him for the first time. Harry takes a sip out of the cup of tea Louis made him, and Louis looks at him anxiously.

"So I'm assuming you've gone home, cleaned yourself up and decided we really need to talk about our shit, right?".

Louis chews on his bottom lip and leans back into the chair, looking down at the floor. He's never felt so socially awkward in his life.

"Not exactly, personally I think there's a bigger issue,".

Louis takes in the view of Harry curled up on his couch, and he feels the overwhelming desire to sit closer and pull him into a hug. But he knows better, he must have more control of himself. Harry's skin is flushed from the cold air outside, since he made the executive decision to walk all the way here rather than letting Louis pick him up. His hair is wild, and by the way that Harry constantly anxiously runs his hand through it, Louis wonders what's about to be thrown at him. Harry's eyes appear almost lifeless, and he's not acting like his usual vibrant self.

"Well, can we cut to it? My heart can't take the silence much longer,"

"I'm kind of leaving. As in, completely leaving Cheshire and moving and starting over. My mum just broke the news to me about an hour or so ago,"

Louis does not react; he knows better not to visibly look shaken. But he cannot help but feel as if there's a dagger in his chest, ripping his lungs and heart apart. He takes a sip of his tea and he winces as his chest feels like it's on fire.

"Hot cup of tea, right?" He lifts the teacup, before placing it down on the table.

Harry watches Louis carefully, completely ignoring Louis' clear way of avoiding the severity of the situation.

"Well, how do you feel about all that?" Louis raises an eyebrow

He's trying his best to stay calm, when every fibre of his being is running around screaming like it's on fire. He can feel his brain cells pressing the panic alarm; and he has no idea why. It's probably for the best, right? Harry leans his head back against the couch, and runs his tongue along his bottom lip. Louis watches and it plays in slow motion, and just the act of watching Harry do that, causes a twitch in his pants.

NOT THE TIME.

"I haven't really let it sink in yet. I'm still yet to talk to Niall and Ed. Mum's saying that it's the best thing for my mental health, she says things here just aren't good for me,"

"Well I can understand her train of thought behind that. People here haven't been too kind to you Harry. It's been more than traumatic,"

"There's a lot of good things to though, and I feel like they're also important to acknowledge,"

"Yeah I guess your friends should be acknowledged..." Louis says to himself.

"It's not just them though, there's you as well,".

Louis suddenly stands up, because he feels like he's being too still for a moment like this. This whole situation is too awkward. He is literally sitting across from a boy that blew him less than 24 hours ago. He recognises another twitch in his pants and outwardly groans, beginning to pace.

"What's really been that good about me Harry? It's been nothing but drama. This... US... whatever the hell is going on, it's drama. Nothing good is coming from it," Louis scoffs, and Harry visibly seems taken aback.

"Well I feel like there's been a lot of growth. For myself and for you. I feel like I've helped you realise things. I don't even know what exactly because you're so closed off, but you're blossoming. And you're helping me realise my worth,"

"We've kissed like a couple times, and you blew me. So I don't know why you're speaking like this is some kind of love story. Take those rose-coloured glasses off for a minute,".

Harry watches as Louis is appearing more and more deflated, and Harry knows he is very quickly on a path of insanity. Harry seems to have the effect on Louis a lot.

"I told you I loved you, did I not?" Harry says softly, almost soft enough that Louis swears it's a figment of his imagination. He cannot help that his head snaps towards Harry at breakneck speed.

Harry's now looking down sadly, and Louis' heart lurches.

"Harry, please. Please for the sake of my sanity, and your own heart don't throw that word around. We're both pretty lost right now," Louis finds himself crouching down in front of Harry. He can see Harry's eyes watering with tears.

Louis holds his breath and brushes a strand of Harry's hair behind his ear. His whole hand feels electric, and Harry is quite literally supercharged at this tiny interaction. He looks at Louis, and through the tears he can see the bright sky blue of his eyes. Harry's lips quiver, because he's beginning to realise this is it. There's not much longer left for the two of them. All this time, and he's managed 2 kisses, and a stupid drunken blowjob. Life wasn't supposed to play out like this.

What was Harry expecting? A secret on-going love affair until he graduated, and things would go on to be normal? Harry can't help but feel the laughter bubble and escape his lips, as the tears start to overflow. Louis is frozen, and isn't sure how to approach the situation. Harry's sitting centimetres away from him, laughing and hysterically crying all at once.

"One way ticket on the insane train?" Louis asks carefully, raising an eyebrow.

Harry laughs and closes his eyes, and Louis watches fresh tears slide down his cheeks. He hates this. He genuinely hates it.

"What? What's going on in that pretty little mind?"

You cannot be saying that shit.

Louis internal monologue starts to rip him apart, and it's probably right but shit...he can't help it.

"Just thinking about how dumb this all is. I don't know what I was expecting from any of this. I'm 17, I don't graduate for another year. You've got your own life, and it was fine before I came along. I'm an idiot. I had this stupid idea that we could have been....I don't know. Just one year before this shit was over,".

Louis can't say anything, he doesn't have any words to fix it. The situation of Harry leaving feels like a dark cloud threatening to bring hell down on them. He places a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder, because that's honestly all he knows what to do. It's ridiculous because Louis genuinely feels like there's an electric current going through him. Harry furiously wipes at his tears and sniffles.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," He swats Louis' hand away and Louis drops his hand, "It's just really stupid. Naïve to think that you could ever love someone like me,".

"Someone like you? What does that even mean?" Louis scrunches his face up and decides to just sit on the floor right in front of Harry.

"I'm awkward, I'm a mess. I'm a traumatised bundle of hormones and sadness," Harry shrugs.

"Don't put yourself down Harry. You shouldn't do that. I think you don't give yourself enough credit," Louis smiles, and without thinking he's rubbing Harry's knee and slowly edging to inner thigh.

"What's there to give credit to? I've caused so much drama and then just going to up and go. I call you out on your inability to face your fears, and then I'm just going to uproot and piss off for good? Hypocrisy at its finest," Harry sniffles, and rolls his eyes at himself.

"You've managed to push me mentally more than anyone else in my life...in recent years. Everyone acts like I'm about some bomb about to detonate and treat me like I'm a toddler. You don't back down, you make me face the reality. I hate it but you've helped me realise a lot," Louis can't believe what's coming out of his mouth, but he feels his heart welling up because it's finally to just let it out.

"I'd ask what you've realised but not going to pry. I'm just glad I've helped. Everyone in our lives is a lesson right? Wonder what you've taught me..."

"Don't take anyone's shit and be yourself. Always," Louis shrugs.

"Always..." Harry chuckles.

"Can I....?"

Harry quickly is snapped out his reality when he feels Louis' hand on his. His heart is suddenly stuck in his throat. Louis hand is soft, gentle, and rough all at once. Louis gently pulls at the hand, as if to signal for Harry to come off the couch and join him on the floor.

"Are you asking me to get down there with you?"

"Something like that," Louis gently pulls at him again, and Harry quickly climbs off the couch and lands on the floor with a soft thud.

Louis can feel Harry's heat radiating off him, and he can see each detail of Harry's face. He notices the peach glow of his skin, both from the cold air and darkening with every moment from the blush. Louis hopes that Harry never stops blushing, because it unleashes a warmth that Louis didn't know was possible. Harry's eyelashes are damp, but his eyes are a mixture of grey and moss green. He can tell that Harry's sparkle is slowly coming back.

Louis' breath is caught in his throat, and he can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage. He's sure that Harry can hear it, because it's so deafening. Louis can feel words building on his tongue, and they feel like a branding iron. They're searing hot and causes his insides to wince.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

He notices that Harry is frozen, eyes flickering between Louis' eyes and his lips. Louis slowly exhales, trying to take control of himself. But his mind is already going over every little moment. He thinks of how soft Harry feels against him, he wants to taste him again. His fingers twitch and he knows he's going to fall apart. Louis has to keep reminding himself that Harry is leaving. He's leaving. He needs to stop so it doesn't hurt as much.

"I know," Harry whispers.

"Did I say that out loud?" Louis' eyes bulge

Harry smiles softly, and suddenly Louis is feeling the dread rise in the pits of his stomach.

"What part exactly?".

"Are you having a total inner monologue or something?".

"Yes, in fact I was. So at what point in my internal monologue did my mouth betray me?" Louis swallows thickly, his palms starting to sweat.

"I'm leaving, and this should stop so it doesn't hurt as much," Harry's voice is a whisper

Okay. Louis can live with that, because he would have wanted to die if it was the first part of it. He's not capable of saying those words.

Harry's suddenly aware of the deafening silence in the room. Other than Louis' fastened breathing and the sound of Harry's own heart threatening to break out of his chest, there's utter silence. He wishes he could hear what was going through Louis' head. He wanted to hear Louis' voice every day for the rest of his life.

He notices that Louis' still got a grip of Harry's hand, and their fingers are intertwined. Harry stares at it while his breath is trapped in his throat. They're holding hands. Louis' squeezing tightly, and Harry's sure Louis isn't even aware of it. Louis seems to be in an internal battle of his own as he is appears dazed.

Louis hand fits perfectly in with Harry's, and his skin is so warm and delicate. Harry doesn't even know why this simple, tiny action is enough to spread heat into every corner of his soul. He knows and can feel the crimson blush making its way up his chest, neck and face. Harry hesitates, and gently squeezes Louis' hand back.

Louis snaps out of his hypnotic trance and looks down at their hands. Harry notices the small smile play on Louis' lips. This is what he wants. He wants Louis. No one else. He knows Louis is a bad person. Whatever has happened to him, it doesn't define him.

"You're leaving," Louis says flatly, he's no longer testing the sentence, it's solid.

Harry chews on his bottom lip and nods, and Louis is seeming to quickly become distressed.

"Can we....I don't know...never mind," Louis stumbles over his words.

"What? Anything. I'll do anything," Harry stutters, and he sounds like a desperate teenager but he would do anything for Louis.

"Not so much a great parting gift, but I think I want to try something?" Louis' cheeks are bright red, and Harry's not sure he's ever seen Louis in this state. Besides Zayn's party.

Zayn's party...

Oh. Shit.

"You're wanting to...?" Harry's voice trails off, and he can feel the sudden overwhelming strain in his jeans, and the fire coursing through his veins.

"I want to do a lot of things, but you need to tell me yes. I need a yes," Louis is suddenly so close, and his lips are running against Harry's jaw.

"Oh, fuck," Harry breathes.

Louis' lips falter at the edge of Harry's jaw, as if the words make him wince.

"Don't talk like that, you're making it difficult. If you're going to leave, I want to touch you. I want to feel you. Wanna love you. Make sure you know what to expect. Don't settle for less. Please," Louis voice is a whimper and his body's pressed against Harry's side, as his lips continue planting soft kisses along his jaw.

Harry's melting under Louis' kiss, and the way Louis' body feels against him is causing his mind to spin out of control. He wanted to wait until after graduation, but things have changed. He wanted Louis, so fucking desperately. The room felt short of oxygen, and Harry swears he will start hallucinating any minute.

"Can I please...make you feel good. Need it. I need it please. Say yes, and I'm all yours," Louis speaks against Harry's throat.

What the fuck has Harry got himself into.

"Yes. Yes. Now," Harry's shaking, and feels too hot under his clothes. He wants Louis, everywhere.

Louis freezes for a moment, taking in Harry's words and he suddenly leans back a little and forces eye contact with Harry. Harry's eyes are sparkling, and fuck Louis' setting himself up for a lifetime of issues. He parts his lips, making sure to say the right words.

"Yes?"

Harry nods, words unable to leave his mouth. He's too busy trying not to hyperventilate like an idiot.

"Words. I want to hear it again and look me in the eyes. Say it again...Harry," Louis says sternly, but the way Harry's name escapes his mouth is like a desperate bid.

"Wanna feel loved. Yeah,"

The air leaves both Louis and Harry at a speed they were not ready for, and Harry's not sure who leaned in first, but suddenly Louis is everywhere. Before their lips can part, even for a second, Harry's straddling Louis' hips. And his hands are in Louis' hair.

Bitter coffee. Smokes. Everything that Louis is, but there is so much more than that. Louis is the sun, and he's scorching through Harry with every second that passes.

"Got to go to my bedroom. Need you, please," Louis groans against Harry's mouth and snaps his hips upwards creating friction.

Harry lets out a whimper and closes his eyes.

Yeah. There's no going back now, he's done for.