The awkward silence between Harry and the psychologist is almost too much to handle. He can only thank his lucky stars that Anne had given him enough privacy to let him go in alone. But honestly, even without her here it's just as awkward. The psychologist is a woman, around her mid 40's. She's eyeing Harry carefully, and quickly writing down in her notebook. Harry is the first to speak.

"So, what do you want to know?"

The psychologist tilts her head and smiles at herself once Harry speaks. He clenches his jaw and crosses his arm. He can't help but narrow his eyes at her as she goes to speak.

"Tell me about why you think you're here today Harry,"

"Because my mother forced me. You should know this,"

"Well yes I do know that your mum is really concerned for you. But what's making her concerned? If you're not comfortable talking about it then I completely understand. We can talk about anything that you like,"

Harry has to stop for a minute and think about the situation. He could either not say a single word and be forced back here every week for the same issue, or just let it all out and get this over and done with. There's things that Harry doesn't want to talk about, things that involve Louis. He inhales deeply, preparing himself to talk.

"Before you say anything Harry, I just want you to know that everything we talk about in here today is completely confidential. I am not allowed to share the information with anyone unless I believe you are putting yourself or others in danger, okay? I want you to feel comfortable in telling me about how you're feeling and what you're dealing with. I am here to help you,"

"Okay. Well. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of around 2 years. He was erm, really abusive. He used to hurt me and mentally abuse me because I wasn't ready to...sleep with him. He wasn't abusive at the start, he was really lovely. And I wasn't ready to give myself up like that, and he was pressuring me. And I still didn't give in, and he didn't like it. So, he really hurt me and I decided to leave,"

"What did he do to you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well. He punched me, kicked me, pushed me. Pretty much anything you can think of really. He didn't sexually assault me. I mean, he's touched me. But I was always clothed. I defended myself when he tried," Harry swallowed hard, and looked at the ground. He could feel his face starting to burn.

He notices the woman quickly writing down in her book. Her writing is messy as she tries to write down what he's said.

"Do you still see him?"

"Nick? No. I haven't seen him since he came after me trying to get me back. He got me home alone and attacked me. I really thought I wasn't going to make it out alive at that point. I texted...a friend and they got me out safely,"

"So, your friend saved you?" She looks at Harry, her brown eyes watching him attentively.

"Yeah. I'm grateful for that. But since that, I've just sort of become a shell of myself. I don't really want to do anything. I just feel really empty, and useless. My mum thinks I'm depressed but I'm just tired. I just want to be left alone to process everything that has happened,"

"It's normal for someone to withdraw after such a traumatic event. However, sitting in bed all day and not talking to friends and going out will make things worse for you. Because you will be assessing the situation over, and over. It will be on your mind constantly and it will devour you. When was the last time you saw your friends?"

"A while I guess. I don't really involve them as it's my issues and I don't want to drag them down. I see them at school. They're worried about me too,"

"Your friends are there to support you. I think anyone in their right mind would know you're struggling. Abuse is not something you get over overnight. The first step to moving forward, is forcing yourself to be around positive people and do positive things. It will change your outlook in life. It will be hard, and stressful but it will work out in the long run,"

Harry nods to himself, soaking in the information. As much as he didn't want to talk about it, listening to her advice was helpful. Just by letting it out was like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. The woman continues to write down in her book. She's filled a page and a half already, which is kind of ridiculous considering they have barely spoken.

"Tell me more about your school life. How is that going for you?"

Harry feels his chest tighten slightly, because this is the one thing he really wanted to avoid like the plague. He closes his eyes and sighs for a second.

"It's alright. I've never really been a big fan of school. I thought this year was looking up. I moved out of my shitty Art class into drama. That was alright. I've had a couple issues with the teacher and one student in my class but that's about it really,"

"What's going on with them?"

"Erm. Well the student is a bully. He's had it out for me since finding out I was gay. But I've learned to live with it. He's backed off a lot, since a teacher called him out. Which helps a lot,"

"Okay, it's great to hear that he's backed off now. What about your teacher? What's the issue there?"

This question leaves Harry stuck. He cannot explain this for the life of him. He could explain it all, and possibly get the much-needed advice he needs, or just completely brush it off. He knows this conversation is completely confidential but how much can he really disclose?

"Well. He's a bit full on. My first lesson with him he caught me texting in class and I got detention for it. Which is completely fair. We've had a very strained relationship, where I feel like he doesn't treat me like a normal student because of my sexuality,"

"So, he's aware that you're gay? Correct?"

"Yeah, he found out because he read my text that I sent in class,"

The psychologist widens her eyes for a moment and nods slowly, jotting down some further notes. The amount of note taking is almost annoying. It's just making Harry feel like an experiment or something.

"Now what makes you feel like he is singling you out? Or like you said, doesn't treat you like other students?"

"Well, he's just always been really unfair to me. I've had more detentions than other students and I'm not a terrible person. I don't give teachers grief and I wouldn't dare treat anyone badly. However, he's the only person that really picked up on what was going on. He helped with the situation a lot but him and I argue a lot,"

"What do you argue about?"

"He's got very strong views on sexuality and we have clashed about it more than once. He doesn't agree with my life choices and it makes me angry that he can treat me like that. I can't change who I am. I've lost count with the amount of arguments we've had. I think he's going through a tough situation himself. I'm not entirely sure what is going on exactly, but it doesn't take an idiot to tell,"

"Hmm, okay. Now, are you comfortable being in a class with someone that can treat you like that. Have you thought about raising a complaint to your school about this treatment? If he is dealing with his own issues and cannot maintain a professional appearance at school, he shouldn't be working,"

"I do not want to be the person that raises any issues. I've had enough crap happen this year already, I want the rest of the year to run smoothly. Louis is a good teacher, regardless of his beliefs. He treats other students amazing, and is very well liked at school,"

"Can I ask you something Harry?"

Harry's heart skips a beat, just by the tone of her voice he knows it's going to be a difficult question. She's studying Harry carefully. Harry nods.

"Yeah,"

"Why are you speaking about this teacher so highly, if he treats you so terribly?"

"Because regardless of how he has treated me in the past, and how many times we've clashed heads. He's helped me get out of the situation. He knew there was something wrong and he tried to get it out of me. And he was probably the only person I felt comfortable telling,"

The psychologist hesitates for a second, and looks like she's trying to think of what to say next. Harry knows this woman has already started to catch on.

"I'm just a little surprised by this. If he treated you so badly, why would you be so open about your relationship. Especially knowing his beliefs?"

"I can't really explain it. As bad as it sounds, it just felt like somewhere deep down he cared,"

"Cared... alright," She repeats back slowly, testing the word herself as she writes again.

"Okay. Now we need to talk about what steps we take next to help you overcome this situation. First step is to spend time with friends, rather than alone and in bed. You need to go out more often, and look for positive things rather than think about negatives. Second of all, don't go trying to look for a new romance to latch onto. As much as you don't want to admit it, you're very weak and vulnerable after what has happened. People have a habit of taking kindness as a hint of romance,"

Harry frowns.

"I'm not looking for romance. That is probably the last thing on my mind," He scoffs

"People have a habit of growing fond feelings of others that are being kind, especially after being treated terribly,"

"I don't really focus on anyone at the moment. I've just been caught up in all the crap to even realise anyone around me,"

"I'm not sure about that, subconsciously I think you're looking for something. You don't even realise that it's happening but it is. I know this because your emotional aura changed completely as soon as I mentioned it. I understand you're not comfortable talking about it, but just know I am here to listen. I'm not here to judge, I'm here to support and help you,"

Harry frowns, slightly taken back.

"I'm not sure if you and I are on the same page here. Who exactly do you think I'm interested in. I can assure you I don't even want to think about anyone like that. Not for a while,"

"If I'm completely honest. I believe it's your teacher. This is just from my observation. I know that you know it's inappropriate. But it doesn't stop your thoughts and feelings,"

Harry literally chokes. He's not sure whether to laugh, yell or just piss bolt out the door. He just sits there and laughs shaking his head.

"That's definitely not the case here. Louis is a teacher, and he's been nice to me. But at the end of the day, he's homophobic. He isn't a nice person and I don't really want to associate with those people, let alone be with them. Not happening,"

"Okay, well is there anything else you would like to talk about today?"

Harry chews the inside of his cheek and thinks carefully. He's talked about more than he was ever comfortable speaking about.

"Well considering I wasn't even going to speak today, I believe we've basically covered everything that needed to be spoken about. Is there a reason to come back?" Harry asks, before realising how rude that sounded.

"I believe that you need to be seeing a professional for the next few weeks, just to check up on you and how you're travelling. After a few weeks if you're back on your feet and comfortable then you won't need to come back. I would like to see you again next week and see how you're going with friends,"

"Alright, well. I'll get my mum to organise that with you. Thanks for your time and help,".

Harry forces himself out of the chair, and moves out of the room as fast as he can. He isn't sure how to deal with how that played out. He's more offended about the Louis situation. He didn't even want to bring him up. As far as Harry is concerned, Louis could have been seeing that psychologist. And that's when Harry literally comes to a halt.

You mentioned his name. And they know he's a teacher. If she sees him, she literally knows his name and his life story. She knows... SHE KNOWS SOMETHING.

Harry doesn't know what to do, his mind is running a million miles an hour. He walks to his mum and tries to remain as calm as possible.

"I don't think there is a need to book another one Mum. I've spoken about everything and they've given me some helpful advice. So, can we go?"

"No, I want you to come back next week. I'll organise it with her now,"

Harry rolls his eyes and decides to go outside because he can't stand another minute in this building. He's becoming more anxious and annoyed with every second that passes. A few minutes pass before his mum is leaving the building and walking towards the car.

"Now, tell me. How did that go for you?" She unlocks the car, and Harry climbs in.

"Honestly. It was as useless as I expected it to be. Just like the people that spoke to me in hospital. I know what I'm going through and I am completely fine. I don't need a professional to tell me something I already know,"

Anne looks at Harry, and Harry notices how sad she looks. He can't help but feel sorry for being so mean. But she just doesn't understand that he wants to be left alone and to deal with it himself.

"I'm doing my best to help you honey,"

"Yeah, I know. And I'm okay. Honestly,"

But truthfully, he really wasn't.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Louis wouldn't have expected in a million years to be driving back to Jax's house. It's an odd sensation. But he felt like he owed the man an apology. He kissed him and then went completely psycho. No stranger should have to deal with that crap. So here he is; parked outside his house and feeling like a complete bag of dicks. This is something he'd never do.

"C'mon. Just get it over and done with. Explain yourself. You can do this," Louis whispers to himself

The words don't do much because he's still sitting in his car like a little bitch. But he counts down in his head and then forces himself out. This is probably the most vulnerable he's felt. He slowly walks towards the door, inhaling slowly trying to calm down the nerves. This is it. When he knocks, it takes a minute or two before Jax answers the door. Jax definitely looks like he wasn't expecting company. Louis notices the baggy grey sweats and a tight fitting black t-shirt. Jax's hair is a wild unkempt mop and it appears that he hasn't shaven either. He looks fit as hell. His eyes widen as me makes eye contact with Louis.

"Oh shit- Hey. Didn't expect to see you around again," He smiled

"Uh yeah. I didn't either. But yet here I am," Louis rocks nervously

"Come in, do you want a tea?"

"No, it's alright. Thank you though. I thought I'd come around and properly apologise for my behaviour the other night. You didn't deserve it,"

"Hey man, you were clearly upset about something. It's all good. I'm not one to judge," Jax shrugs, as Louis follows him into the lounge room.

Louis spots Gerald the cat sleeping on the lounge, and he decides to make his way over and sit next to him. Because honestly, Louis loved cats a little too much. Once Louis sits down, Jax sits on the other couch. It looks like he's thinking of what to say.

"Well I'll start off with I'm really sorry. The other night was my first night out in a really long time. I've had some personal issues and to be quite frank, I haven't been able to express my identity in a while. So, I completely freaked out."

"It's all good. It was just a kiss,"

"Don't think that I freaked out because I didn't want to kiss you. I really did and from what I can remember, it was a pretty good kiss too,"

"Yeah, I can agree on that one," Jax chuckled to himself

"It was just that my paranoia suddenly kicked in. I haven't been able to be me in god knows how long. I've got a lot of people that don't like who I am. I've raised myself to be someone I'm not. It's hard but I've learned to deal with it. And when I decided to just say "fuck it" and do it, I completely freaked out,"

"Understandable,"

"But I've come to terms with who I am, and I'm getting the help that I really need. I'm kind of struggling and I'm a mess at the moment but I'm getting there. So I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight. Or whenever. That's if you want to and if you're free. I won't-," Louis starts but is cut off by Jax.

"You're starting to nervously ramble. It's all good Louis. If you want to go out for dinner with me, I'm not going to say no. I'm free tonight, or any night of the week really. So yeah sure,"

Louis' eyes widen and he can't help but smile. He's overcome with warmth and the largest sense of relief. He exhales.

"Awesome. I'll pick you up at 7?"

"Sure. Now are you sure you don't want a cup of tea?"

"Maybe next time. I've got some stuff to sort out. But I'll see you later yeah?"

Louis stands up and Jax follows him to the door.

"Yeah mate, not a problem,"

And then Louis leaves the house, with the widest of smiles on his face and feeling like a new man. But something tells him this feeling isn't going to last forever.

A/N; hiya. is this okay? took me half a million years to write this. I've struggled a lot but I hope this is good and you guys love it. please let me know.