There's enough silence to hear a pin drop. Louis feels like the world is closing in on itself and his hands are shaking slightly. He does his best to keep himself composed as he looks at Eleanor carefully. Her jaw is clenched, and there's no mistaking the tears that are forming in her eyes. He wants to hug her, but at this rate, he'd probably get a slap. He wants to explain it all, but he just doesn't know how to say it.

"You just don't love me anymore? Is it another girl? I've tried so hard to help you, and I have. You'd gotten so much better and you were happy. You weren't relying on the alcohol or the drugs. You were finally yourself and you were content. I don't understand. I love you, I really do. I know we're having a bit of a rough patch but I'm here for you. We can work through this,"

Eleanor's lips are trembling as she finishes speaking, and Louis can hear her inhale deeply. He knows she's about to break. He swallows thickly, as her first tear splatters onto her cheek.

"I do love you, I didn't say that I didn't. I know you have helped me through some of the darkest days in my life and I honestly really do appreciate it. There's a lot of issues that I've suppressed since I was a teenager and it's come back to bite me. I don't mean to fall into such a spiral, and the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt you. I hate that I've started to get back into the alcohol, but right now it's the only thing that has helped. I don't think this is something that we can work through, because it's something that is wrong with me El,"

"You're going to do this whole It's not you it's me thing? Louis, please. I have been trying so hard,"

This time Eleanor really breaks. Louis can almost physically see her heart breaking, it's the worst feeling in the world. This really is his fault. He places his arms around Eleanor, pulling her into him gently. She places her face into his collarbone and Louis stares ahead without a word as he feels her tears soaking through his shirt. He closes his eyes as he feels his own eyes burning with tears as he listens to her hiccups as her body shakes.

"Eleanor, I know you've tried. You're always trying and I admire you so much for it. I'm always here for you, please know that,"

"Why is this happening? Please just tell me,"

"You're going to hate me," Louis exhales

Eleanor pulls back, wiping her eyes with the arm of her jumper. She looks at Louis and raises an eyebrow, tears still gleaming in her eyes.

"It's not a girl; it definitely isn't. There's something I've never told you and it will explain why I have been lashing out. It's not an excuse and it never will be. But it's the reason why I was so dependent on alcohol. It was my own escape from reality. Okay? As you know my father did abuse me, to the point of almost death. It was the worst time of my entire life. My family were dysfunctional at best, at most when I was around. I'm not sure if you know, I feel like you do but just in case, my dad is homophobic. He has a searing hatred for anyone apart of the LGBTAQ community. I was different, and I knew I was different and I never told him for that reason. I identify as gay, but I present myself as bisexual. I have for many years, and before you say anything; yes, I do love you. I was in love with you. I was curious and I thought maybe you were going to save me. Which you did. I fell in love and I was so happy. But things caught up to me, it was so sudden. I couldn't control my life and it was a downhill spiral. I couldn't tell you because it's a part of me that I've hated for most of my life. I don't share it with anyone. But you of all people deserve to know it okay? I'm so sorry,"

By this point, Louis is trying to blink through his tears. His chest is tight and he feels like he'll burst at any given moment. He can't look at Eleanor because if he did, then it would all come tumbling down. Louis closes his eyes, forces himself to inhale and exhale. He can feel his tears silently rolling down his cheeks but he doesn't want to move. It takes him almost a minute until he summons up the courage to look at Eleanor. Her eyes are watering but she's watching Louis carefully.

"I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you didn't deserve this. You deserve someone who can love you back for the rest of your life," It's at this point Louis completely breaks down

Eleanor reaches for him this time, and hugs him tight. Louis can't hear her crying, because the sound of his own sobbing fills the entire room. It feels like his own heart has shattered into a million pieces. He doesn't know where he's going to go with his life, or what he's going to do. He doesn't have a family, he doesn't have the haven with Eleanor he once has. He is back to where he started. He has nothing but Alcohol and the medication. He doesn't know if he can make it out alive this time.

Louis stays on the couch with Eleanor for over half an hour, and she doesn't speak a word. She just rubs his back until his tears dry up and his hiccups cease. Once Louis does sit up, he looks at Eleanor. His eyes are swollen and red, and his nose is a mess with snot. He knows he looks like a disaster but Eleanor has probably seen worse.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't know. I thought I was okay and I thought I'd never have to worry about it again, I'm so sorry,"

"Don't apologise. You can't help who you are. I'm not like your dad, I believe everyone to be equal. If you had told me about this when we were first together we wouldn't be in this mess. I'm upset, but that's normal. I do believe you did love me, because I felt it. And I appreciate how hard you worked for the relationship even though you were dealing with your own demons. But now you need to seek help because going back to the way you used to be isn't going to make things easy,"

"It's all I have,"

"No. You have me and you have a job that you love a lot. I know that jobs means everything to you,"

Louis wants to crumble again as she soon as Eleanor mentions the job but he decides to just keep it together for now. Eleanor leaves the room for a quick moment leaving Louis reeling in his own thoughts. He's so drained. He just wants to down a bottle of vodka and call it a night. But he knows Eleanor would never let him do it. He imagines the soothing burn of the alcohol and the way it makes him feel all fuzzy. He wishes to just pass out and forget this ever happened. But Eleanor returns before Louis can keep imagining. She returns with a glass of water and his medication.

"You didn't have to,"

"Trust me, I did. You need these. This will keep you in check. I'll stay on the couch tonight, and don't tell me to leave. I'm worried about you and I know full well what you're capable of. I've got my eyes on the alcohol cupboard."

Louis looks at Eleanor and a part of him wants to scream but most of all he's thankful to have someone like her. It's something he took advantage of. Someone that cared for him like no other. He takes the medication and drinks it down with the cup.

"Thank you. You don't have to do this,"

"I know I don't have to. I shouldn't be doing this. But I want to, as much as I want to make a big drama and cry and scream, it's not going to change. Right now, you need someone to fall back on. And I'd rather it be me than old mate Vodka. Also, I think we need to talk more about this. Is there someone that you like? Someone that has triggered this whole thing?"

Louis starts to get more nervous, because he can't exactly explain what happened last night. But he can't lie either. There's so much to talk about, but it's all so wrong.

"Yeah. There's a guy that doesn't live too far away. I just feel...happy... when I'm with him. I haven't known him that long but yeah. I've been thinking about it and it makes me hate myself. I've turned into someone that I hate, just to make my own thoughts go away,"

"Louis, you can't help these thoughts. It's okay. Tell me more about this guy."

"Well, I don't know a lot. I know he has a cat and that he's a real big gentleman. I haven't had the opportunity to talk to him much. I've had a lot on my mind. But he is a nice guy, and he's funny and intelligent. He lights up the room when he smiles. He's a bit different, like I'm never too sure where his head is. He's sarcastic but in a good way. He has this way of getting my attention without even trying. I just feel so drawn to him,"

Louis stops himself there, because as he continues he realises he isn't talking about Jax. He knows exactly where it's going and he needs to pull the breaks. Now.

"He sounds pretty cool. What kind of stuff is he into?"

"I'm...I'm not really sure. He's quiet, but I know he used to like art. I've seen some of his artwork and he is incredibly talented. He doesn't like sport a lot, that I know for sure. I have a feeling he has a bit of a girly side though, I just get this vibe. Like if were to envision him right now, I can imagine him sitting at home, eating a mango and watching a chick flick. I feel like the notebook is his type of movie to watch on a Monday night,"

"What I gather is, he's a big softy," Eleanor smiles slightly

Louis chuckles to himself and shakes his head. He can't believe he's talking about this. He can't believe he feels so normal talking about another man like this.

"Yeah, he is,"

"Have you met his parents?" Eleanor suddenly perks up

"I've been dating you, so not in that type of context no. I met his mother one day, it was a pretty short brief conversation. She seems like a really wonderful lady,"

"Okay. Well is there anything else? Are you going to see him again?"

"Eleanor. I can't. It's not something I can do. It just isn't right. I wish I could, but right now it's not something on my cards,"

"Well I mean, that's understandable. But at least you're sort of on your way. You know who you are, and you know what you want in life. I understand there are bumps and issues in the way, but why let those issues dictate your future? What if by the time you have gotten the help you need and are finally able to do it, he's gone?"

"No amount of time in the world will make me able to do it. Not with him. I just need some time right now Eleanor. I'm in a bad place. I'm not going to worry about finding myself someone, when I can't even keep alcohol off my lips for a day. I have a job to worry about, and I'm already putting my job at risk. If I lost my job then I'd have nothing to live for,"

"I know, this alcohol problem is going to kick you in the ass and you will lose your job if you don't get a hold of yourself Lou."

"I know, but right now I just need to see my psychologist again. I really need some sort of therapy because I really don't think I can do it alone."

"Well if you want, I can drive there with you. We can see if we can squeeze you in to talk to someone?"

"It might help. I don't know. I just feel like it's too much at once,"

Eleanor sighs as Louis runs a hand through his hair.

"The sooner we get help, the sooner you will be okay,"

"Okay, as long as you drive," Louis shrugs.

***********************************************

The sound of the fan clicking constantly was enough to drive anyone insane, but for Harry it was peaceful. He lay sprawled across his bed, staring at the ceiling zoned out and ignoring the rest of the world. He'd been like this for most of the day. After his encounter with Mr Tomlinson, he just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. He wanted to talk to his friends about Mr Tomlinson but quite frankly it wasn't something he could talk about.

Harry knew that Louis could help him, because Harry knew deep down that Louis had been through something with abuse. He wasn't sure exactly how it played out, but he knew it happened. He remembers the amount of pain and anger in Louis' eyes when he found out Harry was being abused. He remembers the way Louis acted the night he got Harry away from Nick. But no matter how much Harry tried to reach out, Louis would always retract. It was constantly one step forward, and ten steps backwards.

Maybe it wasn't Harry's business, quite frankly it wasn't. But he could see his own teacher deteriorating in front of his own eyes. Louis was coming to school with bags under his eyes that got bigger every single day. The amount of coffee cups that were either in the sink or in the bin was insane. Harry has pretended he hasn't noticed the mini bottle of vodka that Louis keeps in his desk. He wouldn't have ever noticed, but one day he walked past the room and saw Louis pulling it out of his desk and taking a swig of it.

He knew damn well that Louis was going through something terribly and he felt responsible for whatever was going on with Louis. It could have just been a difficult break up between him and his girlfriend for all Harry knew, but there was no denying that Louis' health had taken a turn for a worst since Harry had dumped his issues onto him. Louis was so invested in the problems, he acted like he didn't care but deep down he really did. These issues were eating him alive and Harry could see it.

The knock on Harry's door throws him out of his trance and he sighs as he is brought back to reality.

"Come in,"

He watches as the door slowly opens and his mother steps into the room. She looks like she had barely slept the night before, and Harry can see the sadness in her eyes but she continues to smile anyway. Because that's the type of person Anne is.

"Hey love, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm okay, I'm feeling a bit off."

"Are you sure you're just feeling a bit off? I can tell something is up. I know you too well, and when you're down I can feel it. Last night I could hear you crying. I didn't want to come in because I didn't want to make it worse for you. I just want to know how you're doing. This isn't an easy time. After what's happened with you, I wouldn't blame you for wanting to cry. But I think seeing someone might help you."

"It's not going to help mum. I was constantly speaking to someone in hospital. I know it helps with some people but this is something that I don't want to talk about. Even just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Sitting in a little room, talking to someone who really doesn't give a fuck is just going to make things worse Mum,"

"Honey. Crying in your room by yourself isn't going to help either. You do need to see someone, and they do care,"

"I'd rather just lay in bed all day and continue staring at my ceiling. I'm trying to process everything that has happened. This is what I do. I will be okay mum. He's out of my life forever now and I just need to spend some time alone."

"You're depressed Harry. I understand what you're going through. I went through something similar when I was your age and I was completely torn up about it. I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. But at least seeing someone for a while and getting on some medication will make the healing process a bit easier for you."

"Mum, I was doing fine before you came in. Just please,"

"I made an appointment for you to see a psychologist. The appointment is in an hour okay?"

Harry jolts up, eyes narrowing at his mum.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah I am Harry. Now get yourself together because this is important,"

The whole entire process of getting out of bed and getting himself showered and ready for an appointment was draining. Harry didn't need to talk to a doctor to know that he was struggling. He knew he was down and that only medication would help. But he was too stubborn to want to fix it. He would rather just wither away in his room. But soon enough after being forced to eat breakfast, Harry is parked outside the building of a psychologist. He hasn't said a word to his mother because if he did, it would just be screaming. Anne gets out of the car, and says Harry's name before he climbs out of the car and slams the door. He storms towards the building and if today wasn't bad, then it just got a whole lot worse. As he flings open the door to walk inside, he finds himself standing right in front of Louis Tomlinson. Louis stares back at Harry, eyes wide and skin turning as white as a ghost.

Harry wants to say hey, because he's happy. He's happy to see Louis. That's until he looks past Louis for a moment and see's the brunette girl. It seems like the whole scenario is in slow motion but it catches up fast.

Louis doesn't say a word, he half shoves past the boy after holding eye contact for a minute. Harry swears for a second he can see rage but it's gone before he can really take the rest of it in. Harry knows Eleanor is his girlfriend, or was. Who knows anymore with him. Eleanor follows behind Louis, and she smiles gently at Harry. Harry is still stuck in the doorway frozen, until he hears his mum catching up to him. He inhales and forces himself into the room. He can't help but look behind him and see Louis watching him carefully while Eleanor searches for her keys, but Louis drops his gaze the second he makes eye contact with Harry.