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2020. kth - 23. jjk - 18.

Coiling around his gut, like vines wrapping themselves around a tree—only to suffocate it to death—the nausea swarmed Taehyung's insides. Bubbling at the pit of his stomach, the brunette stayed sitting on the cold tile floor at the edge of his bathroom, right next to the toilet bowl.

He's been feeling like this for hours.

As if the bile clogged up in his throat would come spewing out any second. God, he felt so disgusting.

Disgust. He was so disgusted with himself.

After trying to sleep the uncomfortable eerie feeling off after yesterday, Taehyung was sure it was just some sort of weird blip and that after he woke up he'd be fine. He had felt so gross the day before, that day when he thought that he could have been attracted to Jeongguk—sexually.

What a silly thought. He brushed it off—well, tried to. It still nagged him at the back of his mind, tugging at the reigns of his composure, taunting him. He believed that after a good night's rest then he'd finally recover from—whatever this was.

Boy, was he dead wrong.

In the bright morning as the sun peeked through his blinds at early afternoon, a time he normally awoke due to his ongoing insomnia, Taehyung rolled off his bed and went crashing down onto his hardwood floor.

And lay there.

He stared at the ceiling in complete shock, his bare figure sprawled out with the sheets messily strewn on top of him. Eyes were wide, filled with conflicted emotion, body still dormant.

Mind trying to process.

Trying to process the fact that in the first time since his messy days during puberty, Taehyung had a sex dream.

A sex dream starring none other than himself—and his younger next-door neighbour whom he practically raised during his teenage years.

Disgusting.

How could he do that to Jeongguk? How could he see the younger bo–man in such a despicable manner?

How could he like it?

Taehyung curled his body closer to himself, sitting alone in the bathroom, pushing his feet closer to his body and burying his face into his knees, arms securely wrapped around his legs.

He felt so gross.

But somewhere in him... he couldn't but feel that it was okay. It was okay that he thought of Jeongguk that way. The attraction he felt—it was okay.

Because Taehyung still struggled, still struggled to comprehend that the Jeongguk he envision last night in his dreams was the same Jeongguk he used to share his bed with—in a completely different and much more innocent way.

He can't see them as the same person. It just... doesn't work. Taehyung can't wrap his mind around it.

God, his entire brain was racking for some sort of eureka that would allow him to finally realise the truth, but it was impossible.

It was impossible that the Jeongguk now and the Jeongguk from five years ago are the same person.

His mind refused to accept it. He refused to accept it.

⛓️ ⛓️ ⛓️

"Hyung!" Jeongguk called out from his garden. Taehyung turned to spot the younger male on the other side of the fence, the ravenette clad in black as usual. Jeongguk appeared a little nervous, scratching the back on his neck with eyes avoiding the other's gaze, seemingly more interested in the grass surrounding Taehyung's feet. "About the biking... Are we going today?"

Right. Biking.

Something that Jeongguk and Taehyung did religiously when growing up. Biking out to the bumpy terrain and racing through the forest tracks, always returning home with new scrapes and wounds covering their limbs, but with big smiles on their faces. They always got a little wild.

Taehyung suggested that they should do it again, he talked to Jeongguk about it when they had done their little shopping trip. At the time, Jeongguk just hummed and gave a weak nod, Taehyung didn't think that the younger would be approaching him about it.

Besides... Taehyung... H-He couldn't do that right now.

"Uhh... I-I can't today. Sorry Jeongguk, maybe some other time." Taehyung tried his best to squeeze out a smile, but all that came out was a weird tremble of his lips and uncomfortable glint in his eyes. The older turned around and was heading back into his house.

"Oh." Jeongguk blinked. "Okay... See–See you around then." He shyly added, stepping back from the fence and tucking his hands into the front pockets of his hoodie.

"Yeah." That was all that slipped from Taehyung's mouth before he disappeared through his front door and into his house. His body fell against the doorframe as it closed behind him, the brunette closing his eyes and inhaling deeply before letting go of his breath. He slid down the wooden entrance.

He couldn't bring himself to be around the ravenette right now. Not when his mind was creating such havoc through his body. He didn't know right from wrong anymore.

Not to mention, Jeongguk's confession last night had sent him spiralling into a whole other state of complete and utter confusion.

Had he really been crushing on him that entire time? All those times when Taehyung thought they were practically blood-brothers, siblings born from the same parents, Jeongguk was thinking something entirely different.

Jeongguk wanted Taehyung, in a complete different way.

His sweet sweet little Kookie's young heart had ached for him, ached to grab his hand and hold it all the way until marriage.

Kookie dreamed of marriage.

Jeongguk doesn't believe in it.

Well, Jeongguk doesn't believe in love—or rather, he believes that he's no longer capable of it.

Taehyung didn't know that though.

All he knew was that he had to get the troubled teenager out of his head, otherwise he was going to get sick—plagued by a certain illness that can destroy one's character.

The same illness that had already sucked the life out of Jeongguk himself.

⛓️ ⛓️ ⛓️

Strobe lights were illuminating the outline of everyone's figure, bodies swaying in the foggy atmosphere of the crowded club. The heat was almost unbearable, everyone clad in skin-revealing clothing as staying warm wasn't a problem.

Taehyung had come alone.

He lounged at the bar, sipping at a fancy glass of a martini—he had decided to treat himself from his exhausting thoughts all day.

"You seem lonely."

Ah. The real reason Taehyung came here.

The brunette smiled, turning to face the handsome stranger whom had approached him at the bar.

"Do you want to keep me company?" He asks the male, twirling the fragile stem of his glass between his fingers, letting the drink swirl in its holder.

The man smirked, sliding down into the barstool next to other. Taehyung only hoped that this guy wouldn't be a bore, and that he'd be a good enough distraction for the night.

Just someone to keep his raging hormones at bay. As they had lost control and have caused him to have many inappropriate thoughts about a certain raven-haired someone.

And it seemed to work. Taehyung's mind ran blank as he lay on the warm sheets of the hotel bed. Chest rapidly heaving up and down as the other male left him to dispose of the used condom. Taehyung stayed sprawled on the bed, eyes stuck up at the ceiling.

It wasn't his first one-night stand, but it was his first outside of Uni. He only hoped he would never run into this stranger again—as this was a small town where everyone knew everyone.

"That was great." The unnamed male smiled when returning, he bent down and hovered over Taehyung's figure, only to lean down and steal a kiss from his lips. The brunette didn't reciprocate the action, still just laying pliant and dormant. "Are you planning on staying here?"

Taehyung was tired, so he considered it. But with a heavy sigh he pushed himself off the bed, moving way from the other, and started to dress himself upon finding his clothes thrown onto the floor.

"No, I'll be going now." He tried not to wince at the pain emitting from his lower back, stepping carefully to not make any hash moments. As he tread around the room, he noticed that the interior was pretty dark. He turned his head to look back at the man he had just been intimate with, only for his lips to part as a wave of realisation crashed over him when he examined his features.

The stranger had long black hair which was pulled back into a bun, his face was chiselled with a defined jay and his irises were covered in a blue lens, concealing the dark brown hidden underneath. The male seemed to be a fan of dark colors, black loose sweatpants hung at his hips and his leather jacket was laying in a heap on the floor.

Taehyung swallowed the thick lump stuck in his throat.

This guy... This guy looked scarily similar to the person that Taehyung was supposed to be avoiding.

Oh god, Taehyung felt sick.

Without another word, the brunette grabbed the rest of his belongings and bolted out of the hotel. He ignored the pain shooting up his spine as he raced down the stairs and exited the building.

This was a joke.

Taehyung had just fulfilled his sex dream with Jeongguk, except had replaced the younger with some stranger that looked like a cheap replica of him.

His legs trembled as he stood in the street, mind lost and in complete disbelief.

"Are you okay?" A distant voice rung in his ear, making him turn to where it was coming from. There was a male stood by him, features distorted into a concerned expression as he looked down at the brunette. "You seem... drunk."

Taehyung weakly nodded. The man took a hold of his wrist and pulled him off the road, taking him to the side.

"What's your address? I'll get you a cab—or I can drive you home. Whatever you prefer." The male was speaking, but his words were just buzzing around in the other's ear.

"D-Don't mind." Taehyung managed to choke out, keeping his mouth shut as he feared that the constant hurling of his stomach would soon come spilling out of his lips. He felt so sick.

The man seemed to notice his current dilemma, and guided the other to his car. After helping Taehyung get buckled in, he gave him a plastic bag which the brunette held, just in case—he didn't want to spoil this kind stranger's car.

After telling him his address, the vehicle started to roll out onto the road.

"Thanks for helping me, I'm sorry for ruining your night." Taehyung said once they had arrived at his house. The male was still looking at it, eyes fixated out the window when seeing where the other lived. "I'll be going now."

As the brunette opened the passenger door, a hand wrapped around his wrist, stopping him from leaving. He turned to face the other male once again.

"It was no problem at all." The stranger was smiling, carefully removing his grasp from Taehyung. "But if you want to repay me, how about giving me your number?"

———————

don't get into a stranger's car lmao
but why do you think the guy wants taes number?