memento mori;
❛ HOMECOMING ❜ ↷ the hundred
❝ she's not just your first love, you know? ❞

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They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. That was what Gabriella thought was happening.

She was never really sentimental. She tried to keep personal belongings around as long as possible because she needed something to remain with her after moving around so much. She had her Iliad and the knife that she had since The Ark. The blonde did not care much for the objects in general (there were plenty of knives around and she already knew the Iliad by heart).

Because she was stuck in her own head, she only had her memories remaining. It made her realize that nothing else mattered.

Gabriella never thought much about the guy who she had her first kiss with. It was not a special moment that she was going to treasure forever and think about during her many sleepless nights. It was sloppy and awkward and the guy's breath stank. She felt like she was kissing a fish. The kiss happened the first time she went to a party at fourteen. She got drunk, ditched Clarke and Wells who went home a long time ago, and found a guy who was a little too old for her. She knew who he was but, now, she barely remembered his name.

She remembered her last kiss, though. The blonde was lying on Bellamy's chest and got up to get a glass of water. He placed his hand on the back of her head to pull her in for a goodbye kiss even though he thought that she would only be gone for a couple of minutes. It felt domestic. His lips were soft and the kiss was short.

It would not be a memorable kiss in any other situation because, at that moment, she thought that there were going to be plenty more kisses similar to that one.

Now, she was as good as dead.

She had been listening to Josephine's conversation with Murphy for the last hour and felt like her heart was breaking. Murphy betrayed her plenty of times but him siding with the woman who sneaked into her head and took over her life? That was a new low.

Gabriella saw his reaction when Josephine hinted that she had something to do with Bellamy missing. There was genuine anger in his eyes. Despite their long-term feud before the end of the world, the two of them became as close as brothers.

"I swear to God, if you killed him..."

"I didn't. But I will if I have to."

"You don't get it." Murphy scoffed. "If Bellamy knows that she is dead, then all of this is for nothing. He may as well just kill himself now."

He could not even say her fucking name. Coward. Gabriella never really thought about it but she realized that Bellamy always loved her far more than Murphy did. She had been a very forgiving person over the years but what Murphy did to get with Josephine was the ultimate betrayal.

"That's a tad impulsive. I was thinking of giving it till second moon. That's when the foraging party comes back and Clarke and Echo find out I was lying. You have until then to get him on the side of the angels."

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Bellamy felt like he was dying. The oxygen could not get to his brain and he was choking on his own tears. He felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest and crushed into a million pieces.

The love of his life, the only woman he ever loved and the woman who he was ready to give his mother's ring died. His Artemis. His Bambi. He felt like he had no purpose anymore. She was his lifeline, pushing him to keep going after everything that happened to him.

He made a promise to both himself and to Gabi: he was going to murder every single one of them. Peace be damned. How could he even be happy and settle down in peace without the woman whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Was he just supposed to find somebody else and marry them? No. He loved Gabriella for one hundred and thirty-two years, there was never going to be anybody else but her.

Bellamy's eyes widened when he heard Murphy's yells coming from the hallway outside of his cell. A moment later, the guards pulled him inside and threw him onto the ground in front of Bellamy.

Murphy's hands were bound but he still managed to shoot up to his feet and run to the door just as they closed. "Let me out!"

"Murphy..." Bellamy trailed off quietly, wanting to say that there was no use.

Murphy faltered once he realized who the other person in the cell was. "Bellamy?" He scoffed without humor. "You figured it out, too, huh?"

Bellamy was not surprised that they were the first to figure everything out. Murphy was far smarter than he gave him credit and the two of them arguably knew Gabi better than anyone.

"I bet I can make something to cut this strap," Murphy muttered angrily and got on his knees. He clumsily grabbed a sharper object from the ground.

Bellamy was too busy grieving the death of his girlfriend to care too much about escaping. He did not even take his time to look around the cell. He swallowed. "Who else knows?"

"Nobody yet. Just us." He started cutting off the strap that bound Bellamy's wrists together. "They tried to offer me a deal?"

"They?" Bellamy repeated. "And what deal?"

"The bitch who took over Ellie's body and the smug piece of shit who took over Wells'." Murphy deadpanned. "And the deal was that we agree not to retaliate and they help us build our compound."

Bellamy froze. Wells? He gaped in shock. "Wells?"

Murphy blinked and paused his actions. "You didn't know?"

In response, Bellamy shook his head. Tears flooded his eyes and he shook his head in disbelief. Wells was the closest thing he had to a brother. Just like Monty. Spacekru members seem to be dropping like flies during the past week.

He cleared his throat. He had time to grieve later. He already wasted enough time. "What did you say about the deal?"

Murphy gave him this intense look that almost sent shivers down Bellamy's spine. He tilted his head. "What do you think I said? It's Ellie and Wells. She's not just your first love, you know? And Wells was not my favorite in my past but I thought that our family came to an understanding a long time ago; we leave no one behind. Monty and Harper being gone does not change that."

"You have no idea how devastated she was when she lost you," Bellamy told him, a fresh set of tears gathering in his eyes. "She loved you more than she loved herself. After everything, she forgave you and she never stopped caring about you. She cared about everyone and never took care of herself. She would sacrifice her own life for ours, you know that."

Murphy nodded, his face emotionless and his voice monotone when he spoke, "Are you saying we should take the deal?"

"No. No." Bellamy instantly shook his head. "You were right. We don't need them to help us build our own compound. We kill them all, and we take theirs."

"Where's Blodreina when you need her?"

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Bellamy let out a loud exhale and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. Murphy's pacing around the cell only made him more impatient.

"Hey, save your energy. You're gonna need it." He advised him calmly.

"Yeah, for what?" Murphy retorted. "Another war? Is that really what Gabi would want?"

"I don't know what she would want." Bellamy said, confused that his annoyance was directed toward him. "It's too bad we can't ask her."

"We know she wanted us to do better." Murphy shrugged. "Somehow I don't think risking all of our lives for revenge is a step in the right direction."

"For somebody who was ready to give his life for hers before we went to sleep, you don't sound very devastated." Bellamy snarked back and scanned the ground. His breath hitched when he connected the dots. Murphy's tied wrists were not bound to the ground like his because he was not a real prisoner.

Murphy pursed his lips nonchalantly. "I don't know. Maybe I seem less likely to rip their heads off."

Bellamy got to his feet and gave him a solemn look. "Why are you really here, Murphy?"

He looked down, not being able to look him in the eye. Then, he rubbed his nose which is something he remembered Gabi used to say he always did when he was nervous.

"You really wanna know?"

"Yesh." Bellamy immediately nodded.

"Fine. I'm here to convince you to take the deal. There I said it."

Bellamy laughed but it came out more painned than he intended. "Why am I not surprised? What did you see when you died, John?"

"Am I trying to save my own ass?" Murphy snapped. "Yeah, I am. But I'm also saving yours just like she would want me to!"

Bellamy lunged forward and got in his face. "You don't get to talk about her! Not anymore!" He spat out. "You disgust me and I bet she would be disgusted too."

He seemed unfazed by his insults. Or at least he had a good way of hiding it. "Bellamy, if we take this deal we get everything we want. We get to live."

"Not Gabi and Wells."

"We can't bring them back." Murphy shook his head. "If we could, I would be by your side. What we can do is make sure the rest of us survive. Starting with you. If you don't take this deal, Josephine will kill you."

"Then let her try."

"Oh, so that's it, then?" His eyes narrowed. "We start another war? We destroy another planet? Is that what you want?" He exclaimed in disbelief. "Is that what Monty would have wanted?"

He used his free hand to grab him by the collar of his shirt. "Monty──" He took a deep breath. "Listen to me. Monty would be ashamed of you." He pushed him away from him while Murphy stared at him in silence.

"Maybe he would be," he said after a moment, "or maybe he'd see that this is how we do better."

Once again, Bellamy moved to lunge forward and punch him but he was too far away that time. He turned around, too sick in his stomach to look at him. He did not want him to notice just how hurt he was by not just Gabi and Wells' deaths but by Murphy betraying them. He thought he changed and that he stopped putting himself first.

"Get out."

"Don't worry, I'll do my best to make sure they only kill you."

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Gabriella was losing her mind as Josephine slowly begged Abby to turn Kane into a nightblood and show it to the rest of her people. It was only going to kill him faster.

"My uncle should be here, Abby." The sound of her own voice made Gabriella cringe. Josephine made everything nice she would say sound overly forced and fake; like she was acting. "More than the rest of us combined. We've been trying to be the good guys, but he's just good. This isn't just about you. I need him more than ever. He is my only family and Bellamy and I are on the verge of a break-up. I need him in my life. If he could negotiate peace in Polis, then he can save us here and now."

"I wasn't aware that we needed saving." Abby said in confusion.

"We don't." She was a terrible actress. "It's just a figure of speech. Listen to me. Abby, I know that you think this is your fault because Clarke seems to blame everything on you but this isn't your fault. I just don't want the same to happen to you if you lose him, too. Clarke can't lose you and I can't lose him. We need our parents. We just...grew up too soon and never acknowledged it."

The fact that Abby was teaching them to make nightblood might be a good thing. It made Clarke and Madi more secure.

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Bellamy watched their ship fly into the sky, confused beyond belief. He hated being isolated while his people were in an unfamiliar territory. Especially when Gabi was not there to lead them.

His eyes finally leave the window when the doors of his cell open. His breath hitches when the woman who looked exactly like Gabi entered. He cursed himself for getting excited because he forgot that that was not his Gabi.

Josephine was followed by the man who stole Wells' body. Bellamy clenched his jaw.

"I don't want to fight, okay?" Josephine said slowly.

Bellamy looked defeated. He had no energy to fight and he had nothing to fight for. "Why are you here?"

"Because we are all struggling to live with this, and I was hoping maybe we could help each other through it." Josephine started and took a step into the cell.

Bellamy rubbed a hand over his face, trying to hold back his tears at the mere sight of Gabi standing in front of him. Her body was there but she did not love him. He could not kiss her. He could not hug her. He could not even tell her he loved her and have her acknowledge it.

When he put his hand down he turned back to face Josephine and Wells' body-snatcher. When he did, Russell and Murphy entered the cell.

Josephine scoffed. "You went to my father."

"I take big swings." Murphy shrugged.

Russell glared at his daughter. "What are you doing?"

"Saving us."

"Wells" rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Josephine. "He knows you killed Gabriella and Wells, and, unlike that smug cockroach, he is ready to kill us all."

"Enough." Russell snapped and turned to Josephine. "What the hell is the matter with you? Have you become so callous to the feelings of others that you don't remember what it's like to lose someone you love?" He looked at Bellamy. "I know you're in pain. I know you want revenge. I would, too. We had a chance to bring back our daughter, and we took it. We didn't consider the consequences."

Josephine snorted. "For God's sake..."

"Be quiet." Her father cut her off.

Murphy said, "Maybe you should just let the man speak."

"Shut up, Murphy." Josephine and Bellamy said simultaneously. Almost as if she was still here.

"Maybe I should cut your tongue off so you can't speak." Wells clapped him on the shoulder harshly, causing him to flinch.

Murphy brushed off his touch and stepped toward Bellamy. "I think you should hear him out. I think we can trust him."

"Do you, now?" Bellamy raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"You can." Russell instantly said, "Look. I can't bring your friends back, but I can guarantee safety for the rest of your people. We'll share everything we've learned about surviving on this moon."

Bellamy turned to ask Murphy, "Why did our ship just take off?"

"Abby is showing them how to make nightblood."

"I take it she doesn't know her step-daughter is dead?" Bellamy asked him, his voice showing both anger and disbelief.

That time, Murphy had the decency to look ashamed.

Bellamy looked at Russell. "You're gonna have to kill Kane, too. When Abby wakes him up. You think my need for revenge is strong? And then Abby is going to want to burn this moon to the ground if you touch Kane. There is only one way this ends."

"Bellamy, stop." Murphy shouted. "All right? You don't want them to kill all of us. Just think."

"Josephine!" Russell yelled and Bellamy looked down to see Josephine cut him loose.

Bellamy used his newfound freedom to punch Russell across the face. He rushed to choke him with the rope around his wrist.

"Bellamy, come on. Don't do this." Murphy pleaded and rushed to them but made no physical move to stop him.

"I'm sorry, daddy." Josephine faked sympathy. "Violence is all they know. If killing him is what you need then do it, but let the violence end here. An eye for an eye."

Bellamy soon realized what she was doing. She wanted him to become the monster they all thought his people were. She wanted a reason to banish them. She wanted him to level the playing field. But the violence would not end there. He would have to kill her little boyfriend too. That would make it fair.

But Monty wanted them to do better. Gabi wanted them to do better.

He let Russell go and walked out of the cell without looking back.

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Bellamy could hug Echo after her reaction when he told her about Gabi and Wells dying.

"When do we attack?" She all but growled. Anyone could see the fury and need for revenge in her eyes. Their family looked at her in concern. She did not even cry. She just wanted to stab somebody responsible.

"We don't." Bellamy shook his head with a frown.

"What?" Clarke's eyebrows furrowed and Echo's eyes widened in disbelief.

Bellamy lets out a shaky breath and turns to face what was left of the grounders. Because he said it once and he would say it again if anybody asked him; they were all grounders, they were the same.

"Now we do what Gabi would have done. We survive."

a/n: I hope you enjoyed a little bit of Bellamy's pov.

I really miss the friendship Octavia and Gabi had in the earlier seasons and I can't wait for them in season 7. Octavia was always the sister that gabi never got to have and gabi is someone Octavia looks up to. Their lives end up going in completely different directions but they're still someone they go back to for comfort despite the relationship between the Blake siblings being terrible. She's definitely her Dorothea.

Gabi tries to be the peacemaker between Bellamy and Octavia because she doesn't want to lose either one of them and hates how things are changing from the way they used to be. Their sibling relationship was something Gabi always wanted for herself so she tries to keep it together the best she can.

I am alive! My main focus was my daisy jones & the six book which I actually just finished! The main character in it was Gabriella Dunne so if you are interested in seeing Gabi in another book, check it out!

My main focus is once again going to be this book (something I say very often). First, I will edit what is left of season two and I will check out how bad the second book was before I write another chapter of season six. As the end of the trilogy is nearing, I want to perfect the mistakes in my previous chapter that I wrote before my writing improved.