Hello there.

My name's Natalie.

I am in high school. I am a junior. My best friend's name is Sophie. We have been best friends since... maybe seventh grade.

And, as strange as it sounds, I like school. Most juniors—or any students, for that matter—don't. But, I'm smart, and I get to hang out with friends. And the teachers like me, which is a big upside. Sure, there's homework, and it's fairly boring, but I tend to find more upsides than downsides.

I like this guy named Paul. His friend is named Owen. I've liked him since eighth grade, and we're juniors now. As far as I know, only Sophie knows about my crush. But, school is one of the few time I can see him.

And that's me. This is my story.

~

"We're graduating next year!" Sophie exclaimed. "You've gotta tell him at some point."

I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut. "It's not like he'll like me back," I explained.

Him.

Paul.

I remember how we became friends. It was the first day of high school.

Sophie scoffed. "You should put your books in your bag."

I shrugged. "It's fine. We're walking to class. We'll be there in no ti—"

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

I realized my books were on the ground, and so was I. But, what surprised me the most, was that Paul was standing—or, really lying down—right in front of me.

"I-It's okay," I assured him. Behind me, Sophie was snickering.

"Y-You're Natalie, right?" He asked as he hastily picked up my books.

I helped him. "Yeah. And you're Paul." I could practically feel myself blushing.

"We went to the same middle school, right?"

"Yeah," I assured.

He nodded. "Cool."

I had all my books back by this point, but I was enjoying talking with Paul.

"Hey, Paul!" A guy screamed.

Paul turned around and groaned. "Give me a second, Owen!" He turned back to me, a sheepish smile on his face. "Well, that's my cue. I'll be sure to make this up to you. Have a good day."

I smiled and nodded. "You too."

Paul walked away, a smile on both of our faces.

Sophie squealed. "Oh my god!"

I grinned, my body practically vibrating. "I know!"

The sound of the bell was heard throughout the school.

I chuckled. "Guess we really better get to class."

Sophie nodded, and we parted ways.

~

After that, I started hanging out with Paul more and more. Paul insisted, claiming he had to make it up to me. I assured him it was fine, and that he just knocked over my books, but he was persistent. He claimed that he had been wanting to be my friend for a while, and that, because we were one of the few kids that went to the same middle school, we had to be friends. And, soon, my 'group' was Sophie, Paul, and Owen.

They were great friends. Sophie made me smile, and Owen made me laugh. Paul just made me do anything positive. He made me laugh, smile, and made my heart flutter.

I desperately wished to be more than friends with Paul. But friends was better than strangers.

And, in all honesty, I friend zoned myself. I'm not sure how I did it, or why I did it, but I did it. That goofy brown haired boy that I have a crush on is one of my closest friends. And I was fine with that. Mostly.

"This is torture!" Sophie complained. "You two should be dating, you shouldn't be buddies."

I shook my head. "It's clear this is all we can really be," I reasoned.

"I've been talking to Owen," she continued, "and it sounds like he really likes you."

"And I really like you. He thinks I'm a great friend—"

"And, to be fair, you are."

"—But he would never date me. And I'm fine with that."

"Are you really fine with that?"

I groaned. "I've come to terms with it. Is that what you want to hear?"

"I want to hear that you're asking him to homecoming."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not even sure I'm going to homecoming this year."

"What?!" Sophie exclaimed. "You're a junior! You only have two more homecomings! And you're planning everything. You can't just bail."

"Alright, first of all, I'm not planning everything. And I'm not bailing. I just think I can find something more fun to do. I don't even have a date."

"And neither do I. It'll be alright, Natalie. Just have fun with it!"

I shrugged. "I could just hang out at home and watch some tv."

"Or you could go to the dance with Paul."

"No."

"Then you could go to the dance with Paul—"

"No."

"—Me, and Owen. As a group."

I took a moment to think. "Maybe."

Sophie smiled. She could always convince me to do things, no matter how much I didn't want to do them.

Except for one thing. She could never convince me to ask out anyone. Not Paul, not anybody.

I would be single forever, and it was my fault.