thirteen.

devil in me

JT couldn't explain the cloud that distorted her mind for the next three weeks. She hadn't quite spoken to Lauren, avoided her mother at all costs, and exerted all of her energy into getting out of bed in the morning. There wasn't anything that bothered her in particular. She was merely exhausted -- emotionally and mentally.

She went to school in a zombie-like state, immediately doing her homework and then going to bed for the rest of the night. JT could tell that her friends were worried. Angela slipped her a copy of her notes in their shared classes, Jessica brought cookies, and even Bella called once or twice after she got off work.

It was the last weekend in February that she still found herself curled in her bed. JT could tell that she needed a shower, but any motivation to leave her bed was nonexistent. Her sheets were dirty and clothes cluttered her floor. A few cups sat on her nightstand.

Her phone rang for the sixth time in the past hour when JT finally answered. She'd been hoping to sleep through the incessant tones, but whoever was on the other end wouldn't allow it.

"Listen here, sport. You wanna explain to me why it's been two months and you haven't called me? I tried to give you space to adjust but this is ridiculous—" Joey's familiar Boston accent brought warmth to her heart.

"Hey Joey," she said tiredly.

"Don't you hey Joey me in that tired little voice thing you've got going. I haven't heard from you—"

"Hola Josita," Camilla's soft voice had cut off Joey's harshness, the woman seemingly have wrestled the phone away. Camilla had been adopted by a family in Mexico when she was three months old, and had lived there until she turned twenty-six. Cami and Joey met when she moved to Boston, and it was when she threw a bag of tamales in his face. JT remembered being mildly confused by Cami's Spanish exclamations and accent, as the woman's Caucasian features had thrown her off. Coming from the small town of Forks, JT needed to be a little educated on the worldly knowledge that was diversity. Cami had laughed it off and taken on JT's small town ignorance like a champ. Needless to say, JT never made that type of mistake again.

"Hi Cami.  Sorry I haven't called sooner. It's been... a lot." She curled further underneath her quilt, not wanting to be perceived by the dust particles in her room.

"Ay, amor, I know." JT could still hear Joey going off in the background. "Are you okay? Tell me everything."

"Us." Joey cut in. He must've put her on speaker. "Tell us everything."

JT put her own phone on speaker and placed it next to her head. "I don't know where to start."

There was a pause. "Why don't we start with Lauren?" Cami asked gently.

JT sighed heavily. "She was fine for awhile. I guess she's been keeping a lot from me. Mom's gotten worse and Rennie didn't tell me. We're in a bit of a fight right now. And I guess dad's got some mistress in Seattle or something. They've got a baby on the way. Haven't seen him yet." There was a muffled ay Dios mio, but JT continued. "I've been to the hospital twice because of my lungs."

"Crap, J-dawg," Joey breathed. "Make any new friends at least? Or old ones, those too."

JT debated how much about the Cullens she should tell them. The family had an air of mystery and lies that she'd yet to uncover. There were many things she was unsure of, but she didn't want to go gossiping.

"That bad, amor?" Cami's maternal concern was enough to water JT's eyes.

"No, Cami. Just thinking. There's a family that moved here a few years ago. Bit of an outcast group, but they're nice. I actually had a sleepover with one of them...." She paused. After the sleepover with Alice and her waking nearly half the house with her nightmare, JT had been too embarrassed to approach them again. Alice had reassured her several times that she was fine, that they didn't mind, but the pixie girl respected it when JT asked for some space. "And there's another girl who moved back. She's the chief's kid. And Jessica and Angela have been really nice too."

"Isn't Jessica the one who cut your hair in sixth grade?" Joey asked. It sounded like he was sucking on his teeth.

JT laughed. "Yeah, that's her. She brought me cookies the other day."

"Interesting," Cami mused. "Anything new romantically? I know you aren't actively looking but I thought I'd ask."

A brief flash of bronze hair and a memory of the smell of his sweatshirt flooded her head before she could stop them. "There's one kid who's kind of cute."

Joey snorted. "Kind of cute? Like how I'm cute or how you'd call a disfigured dog kind of cute?"

JT could hear Cami smack him through the phone.

Her face heated without permission. "Like how Leo DiCaprio is cute, but probably better," she admitted.

Joey's dramatic gasp was hushed by what JT guessed was Cami's hand. "There's a but in that tone," she prompted.

Cami was always too good at reading JT's tone. "There's just an odd vibe. That's all."

Joey and Cami went quiet. "Like what kind of vibe, sport?" Joey asked, voice stern. It was the kind of tone that told her he'd buy a red-eye plane ticket in the next five minutes if she felt unsafe.

If she felt unsafe, it was not with the boy that saved her from a van that would've crushed her. And certainly not with a boy who's favorite flowers were gardenias and not the boy who liked to guess how many sugar particles he'd spilled.

"Just a secretive one, Joey. Not... not dangerous, I don't think."

He started grumbling but Cami cut him off again. "How is your depression?"

There was no point in lying to Cami. The woman could sniff out a lie from another continent. "Not doing too well right now, Cam. But I'll bounce back soon. I had a nightmare. You know those always..." They always sent her into a depressive episode. Both of the Rawlings' knew it and it didn't need to be verbalized. Tears pricked at her eyes. "I miss you both so much."

"We miss you too, sport." JT could almost feel Joey's hand stroking her head. "Ain't the same here without you."

Her left eye leaked, soon followed by her right. "Why can't you guys live in Oregon or something instead of Maine?" Her voice cracked a few times during her question. But the people who occupied the room downstairs were not her parents. Joey and Cami were.

And they were three thousand miles away.

"It's just a... fifty hour drive, amor. We'll make it whenever you need us," Cami soothed.

"But what if I always need you?" JT sniffled.

"Hey, sport. We aren't leaving you any time soon. You say the words and we'll be there."

JT choked back a cry that would've broken the volume limit she gave herself. She just wanted to be sandwiched between them on the couch as they watched some dumb rom-com that Joey picked out. "Can't you just create a teleportation device or something?"

They laughed. "Yes. Let me get right on that," Joey cracked.

JT sniffed at her now congested nose. "It's so dark, here. I miss the sun."

"I'm betting' you're paler than the moon now, sport."

"You always have been pale, but it's okay," Camilla said. JT could hear the smile on her face. "Are you taking your vitamins?"

"No," JT said sheepishly. She barely drank water or ate enough food to sustain herself. "But I'll start again tomorrow."

"You'll start now," Cami snapped. "Have you been eating or drinking?"

JT's silence was enough and Cami went on a rampage that contained several Spanish phrases that JT didn't know. "It's like they want you to go to ruin!"

Joey took the phone this time. "You shouldn't have said that."

"You know better than to lie to your wife. Why would I do that?" She asked. Cami's rant continued in the background, causing a smile to grave JT's face. She'd missed Cami's liveliness.

"You know our Cami. She'd probably send a hateful email and several other things to your parents if she could. And I'll say we're both disappointed in how things have gone with Lauren."

"Yeah, join the club," JT groaned. "She acts like it's my fault that she didn't tell me about mom, then moved to blame me for leaving her. She also made it seem like I was off living my best life. Like sorry that I got fucking stabbed and almost died while mom was draining alcohol and beating you. I was totally having the time of my life because I knew exactly what was going on at home and chose to ignore it." She huffed harshly. "What does she want me to say? I just don't fucking get it, Joey."

"I know, sport, I know. Siblings are tough. Especially with what you've got going on. If Cami hadn't moved outside to rant some more, I'd ask her. She can put in her two cents on this at a later date. You know she's better than me about the sibling things."

"Joey, you've got eight brothers," JT sighed.

"Yeah, and they all hate me because I called out my granny for being a raging alcoholic bitch at Christmas five years ago. Still claim it's the devil in me." JT snorted at the memory. Joey's family wasn't the best, and he often made jokes about it, otherwise JT wouldn't have laughed. "But Cam is better at the reconciliation part."

JT pulled her quilt down from over her head. The doorbell rang almost immediately. She knew that Lauren was gone, and Lorraine was off somewhere doing God knows what. So that meant she'd have to answer the door.

"Hey, someone is here. Mind staying on until I open the door?" She walked softly in her thick socks down the stairs to the front door. There wasn't a place where she could look to see who it was.

"You got it, sport."

She opened the door. She hadn't known what to expect, but it wasn't Bella Swan holding a pizza box and two thick folders.

"Joey, call you same time next week?"

He huffed. "You better. I love you, J-dawg."

"I love you, too." She hung up the phone, suddenly hyper aware of her three day old sweats and greasy hair.  "Bella. What's up?"

Her bright brown eyes were almost gold in the porch light. "I need to talk to you. It's important and I need to know that I'm not crazy."

JT eyed the Swan girl, then the pizza box. "Come on in."

a/n: thank you all so much for your patience, love, and support. I adore you all. Big things happening next chapter.