⭒⠀ 𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐢.          BABY STEPS. 🕷

" 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑶𝑲𝑨𝒀? 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑨'𝑰𝑵𝑻  TRYNA  kiss on you n shit?" connie questioned as eren giggled shaking his head. feeling much better then earlier today , as the hangover he had kicked in

he almost gave himself an heart attack once he saw you awake next to him, groaning at the throbbing sensation he was feeling currently. you gave him aspirin and water to help, telling the male that he snapped on which you deserved and how he just threw up. and was dancing like a confused gta stripper to pnd

" nigga i can hear you y'know? ain't nobody touch him yet" you joked, eren shook his head at you as connie started yelling on the phone. eren rush — fully passing the phone to you as you saw connie's face, the tired male going to the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal.

" ha! you think imma let yo hoe ass hands, tongue nor mouth. is touching my boyfriend?! i'll ship you to russia with a bob cut. " connie yelled you and eren paused hearing the word boyfriend, nodding to whatever connie said before waving bye and hanging up.

" y'know once we finished whatever this is, he's gonna kick yo' ass for doin that" eren munched, eating the captin n' crunch cereal you had resting ontop of the fridge.  

" speaking of whatever this is.  i looked up shit for us to do,  to y'know help? we got therapeutic yoga type shit ina' minute so" nodding eren mouth opened, as you saw he cereal groaning you smiled before going up to your room to change.

&&&. 

" how is this supposed to be helping?" eren questioned

" therapeutic i guess"

" as you are pulling , while connected at the feet.  look your partner in the eye and tell them your most favorable thing about them, despite everything you start honey" the instructor said warmly to eren who grimaced.  groaning as you two was now doing some pose

" i liked when you almost blew up the kitchen" shrugging , you made a face to eren who chuckled a bit. 

" now, i want you all to tell your partner something you haven't told them before" the instructor walked around

is this a good time to say what happened.. you thought, watching eren's puzzled facial expression. 

" i have nothing i basically told you everything.." he mumbled the past part,  looking at you as you felt a sting .

" c-connie told me he loved me.  when we was sneaking around" you blurted out, eren stopped the pose as he stood there dumbfounded at what you just said.  his brows creased confused at what you just said to him

" what?"

" okay! everyone switch partners, with the people next to you." watching eren's who switched partners you smiled at a tall dark skin woman who smiled back brightly.

" are you okay sweetie? you look pretty stressed out" another woman who was eren's partner questioned.  blinking he felt his cheeks heat up, nodding.

" i uh- i'm just.  questioning why i agreed to this shit." doing the exercises with his new partner , feeling eyes burn into his head as it was you.

" can i ask you something?" getting a nod in return, you and the lady sat down for the next exercise. 

&&&.

" er-" flinching a bit as he dropped his bag glaring at you, while shaking his head. 

" connie told me i shouldn't have agreed to this shit with you,  because of this.  you want me to forgive you? but steady fucking up.  just-just leave me alone for right now." walking upstairs you heard the guest room slam shut, sighing to yourself as you always just kept fucking up.

sitting on the you felt disappointed in yourself, you wanted to at least try and prove but this whole shit went to shit of course.  you didn't even know why you thought to even do this

closing your eyes you remembered what the lady said to you.

' when a person just accepts the apology.  they want you to prove to them , how sorry you are.  they want growth from you,  they want a sincere apology not no sorry's.  especially if it means nothing behind them.  show that person how sincere you are by showing growth my love.' she warmly spoke

getting up after checking the time , you thought of something as you grabbed a bag.  opening the fridge to throw snacks in there before heading upstairs to the guest room eren was currently in, softly knocking on it you heard movement . followed by a muffled sigh

" come with me,  stars are out tonight" holding up the bag of snacks , eren looked at you then the bag.  turning back around he grabbed a hoodie and his phone as you two left the house and headed to the park.

&&&.

" i remember doing this when we was together,  going to the park just saying whatever was on our minds. especially when the stars was out" eren started,  you nodded sipping the drink

" i- i didn't say that to make you mad or anything.  i just didn't wanna keep not keeping shit from you eren, i actually wanna show you growth"

" you just ... i accepted the apology because it felt sincere y/n.  but i didn't forgive you, like connie did.  it's gonna take a while." eren played with his shirts . as he held a cookie in his hand

" you was my first . not my first girlfriend but the first girlfriend i was in love with, and for you to hurt me? really hurt me like that? it's gonna take time." you understood where he was coming from.  you did , if it wasn't vice versa you would react to how he was right now

" i don't blame you.  if it was vice versa i would react like how you've been, eren i don't blame you for how you've been acting towards me." you fully turned to him,  he saw and stared ahead

" i let lust control me.  when i shoulda' been real witchu from the start,  i lied to you.  hurt you multiple times.  not one or two multiple, i didn't realize it until how things changed."

" i don't hate you.  i could never,  but i just can't forgive you not right now.  i need improvement, but i'm willing to be mutuals with you." smiling a bit at you , eren chewed his oatmeal raisin cookie as it went silent

" i don't know what me and connie are" eren started.  looking at his hands, he smiled sadly

" i-i think i wanna be his boyfriend? ever since y'know me saying that.  he's been i dunno" shrugging , you felt bad as eren thought he probably fucked up him and connie by blurting out i love you during sex.

" if it makes you feel better.  i'm kinda uh- fucking with cyrus?" hearing a loud gasp eren tackled you down as you laughed, him sitting ontop of you now.  a wave of deja vu hitting

" no fucking way? is that why she said and i muh'fuckin quote.  ' don't worry bout it'? you and her are scissoring snakes." bursting out laughing you pushed eren off of you as you two sat up.

" looks like one good thing came outta this hm"

" baby steps . we're taking baby steps."

z's note .
hope this makes up for yesterday homeboys almost over tho yall 😕