CALY

My  nerves was hella bad after that PR meeting. I had some time to reflect  on how my life had gone sour just because  I was being a fangirl. Durk's PR Team sent me an email about  radio & interview etiquette like I didn't understand the assignment  that was given to me. I'm sure they have nothing to worry about when I  can go to court and get sued for speaking my truth.

    I  was also given a schedule from his marketing team. You can bet I got  the memo that Shawn didn't like me. He continued  to go out of his way to avoid contacting me when it took more energy to  send people to deal with me directly. I thought it was his job to be a  middle man?

    According  to the schedule, Durk and I had a radio interview coming up. Mandy  suggested that we go out in public together  to build suspicion and "rattle the paps." I wasn't interested in  playing their game, that was at my expense, but I agreed to go on a  public date with him that Thursday.

    Just like we--I mean they planned, Durk  showed up Thursday afternoon. He was wearing the same custom jean  jacket he wore the night we met. Then, he pulled another custom jacket  from behind his back that had lavender stitch. The sleeves had fabric  patches of different shades of purple and yellow.  The back read the OTF logo with Caly in cursive, purple embroidery.

    "I made this for you.." He said. Speechless, yet flattered, I held the jacket in my hands like he'd just given me a novelty  item. I bit my bottom lip to hide the smile I had growing on my face.

    "Wow, thank you.." I said while stumbling over my next words. "Th-this is the nicest gift someone has ever given me.."

    "That's what I was doing.."

    "What do you mean?"

    "The time I was avoiding you--or so you thought. That's what I was doing."

    "I thought you were avoiding me because you felt guilty about.. you know."

    "That still didn't happen. Clean slate, remember?"

    "Right.." I nodded and set the jacket on the dining table. "I'm ready to go."

    "No, just- Can you please wear the jacket on this date with me?"

    "Oh, NOW you're  asking?"  I chuckled obnoxiously and nodded.  "You're gonna make me  a crazy woman, Tay. Just fucking insane."

    About an  hour into our date, I was ready to go the fuck home. We barely spoke.  And when we did, it was corny ass small talk. if  he asked me what my favorite color was ONE MORE TIME, I was  gonna climb over the barbed wire fence that surrounded the  roller-coaster.

    What bothered me the most is that he knew the answers to all the questions he was asking me. What's my favorite color?  He made me a custom jacket covered in it! That's not even the worst part...

    We  go to the concession stand near the entrance of the carnival, and he  asks me what's my favorite snack. I remember  us having the same conversation on the way here from Ohio on a stop to  get food. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I was gonna tell him.

    "Let me get an elephant ear, some boston baked beans, and two orders of chili cheese fries, please."  He said before  I opened my mouth. Again, I was speechless. I crossed my arms and twisted my lips.

    "Can I get you anything to drink?" the cashier said.

    "Yeah, two pink lemonades." he said. I smacked my lips and rolled my eyes.

    "So, you been acting like an ass on purpose?" I said.

    "Nah, I been wanting to lighten your mood." he said.

    "Acting like we complete strangers is what's ruining it." I said.

    "You agreed we'd start over, London. I thought we were on the same page with this."

    "You know what? You right." I said. "How about we just hurry up with this date so I can get back home."

    "I want us to enjoy it, forreal. After this food, let's get on the Ferris wheel."

    "The ferris wheel, really?" I squinted my eyes to see if he was trolling.

    "Yes, I ain't never been on it before."

    "Tay.."

    "I'm dead ass." He chuckled, grabbed our food and we sat to eat at a near by picnic table.

    "It's literally the only ride that doesn't do anything."

    "Exactly."

    "Then, why you wanna go on it with me?"

    "Because with you I can do nothing and still have a good time.." he said. I rolled my eyes and stuffed my mouth with  a fork full of chili cheese fries.

    "After the ferris wheel, I want you to win me a prize at one of these games."

    "Just pick the prize, and I'm ya guy."

    "Yeah, we'll see." I laughed and he joined in.

    "Doubting me already?"

    "Just a lil bit."

    "How bout we bet on it?"

    "I'm down."

    "If I win you the prize you want, then you have to go on another date with me."

    "This ain't enough publicity for you, huh?" i took a sip of my pink lemonade.

    "I mean a real one, somewhere they won't be following us with cameras." he said, my eyes widened as a gasp escaped  my lips.

    "That's why you been acting weird?"I said as I looked over my shoulder to see a man with a camera, hidden next to a  trash can and game booth. "Why don't you be telling me shit? I'm just sup-"

    "This is why." He said. "The less you know, the better. Now, stop making it obvious that you see them."

    "Am I being forreal or fake?"

    "I want you to be you, London.. Just be aware that we are being watched."

    "Okay..." I bit into my elephant ear. "If you don't win me the prize that I want, I want some stacked jeans to match  this jacket."

    "Issa done deal if you wear them whenever you win a Grammy one day."

    "Oh, you trying so hard to get in these pants!" We laughed and threw away our trash before walking to the ferris wheel.

     Getting locked into our seat, Durk told the operator to let us sit at  the top for 5 minutes and tipped him $50. I didn't  question him because the view from the top is like standing on tip of a  mountain. We'd probably be able to see the entire city of Chicago from  there. Or at least a nice part of it.

        In that seat, we were the closest we'd been since Sunday night. I'm  starting to think he wore that cologne on purpose,  It was giving me flash backs. The ride started to move and the camera  men were becoming out of sight. In the midst of feeling relief for  getting a break from lurking eyes, my body tensed up knowing I was now  alone with my thoughts. My gaze remained straight  ahead to appear normal, but I wasn't gonna be able to hold off once we  made it to the top.

    "What's on your mind?" He said as he placed his hand on my thigh. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that he's  now engaged.

    "Nothing." I shrugged and looked down at the city. The ride came to a stop and Durk squeezed my thigh."It's nothing..  really."

    "Look  at me," he said. Then, he wrapped his arm around my waist, making our  bodies touch. The view of the sun glowing  in his eyes, made my heart skip a beat. His warmness in all of that  cold outside gave me comfort. I wanted to be in his skin.. or he in  mine.."talk to me. I'm listening."

    "You said you didn't wanna talk about the things that didn't happen." I said.  He nodded and looked over my shoulder,  escaping the pain I felt burning my eyes.

    "You  were right.." he said. "I feel guilty about what happened. I regret  cheating on the woman I love. That ring on  her finger? I bought that last year, but I've been too afraid to ask  her to marry me. I didn't think I was good enough for her. And, after  what happened between us, It's hard to look her in the eyes."

     "Then, you learn how to be honest and you communicate, Tay. All you've  done since we met is make things worse by being  so damn secretive. We made a mistake that she is unwillingly paying for  because she loves you. Don't you think she deserves the chance to make a  choice to be with you or not?"

    "I hear you, but I didn't make a mistake."

    "That's not how you're acting."

    "You're not a mistake, London. I may have been tipsy, but I was fully aware of what I was doing. I wanted it and I  liked it."

    "Fill me in on how you went from breaking my back in to giving me the cold shoulder, then."

    "If you were me, how'd you handle this? Baby, I'm trying my best."

    "You had me sign an NDA, Tay."

    "I was looking out for you, little do you know."

    "Enlighten me, please."

    "If Royale confronts you, she can't get a damn thing outta you because you legally can't say shit."

    "How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

    "Because, It's my job to handle this. I don't want you stressing bout none of this shit."

    "So you're asking me to literally be your side chick?"

    "No, I want us to be friends. Close friends." he said. He leaned in closer, making his lips hover just an inch away  from mine.

    "Don't you think we crossed that boundary already?"

    "Nah,  I think we right where we need to be." he said as he rubbed his nose  against mine and kissed my lips softly.  With a glance into my eyes, he looked for consent. By instinct, my  fingers tangled themselves in his dreads as our faces smashed together. I  can still feel his tongue sucking on mine as the ferris wheel began to  move again.

    We quickly adjusted ourselves before the cameramen were back in our line of sight. Durk and I shared a tickling laugh  and then he leaned in to kiss me on my temple.

    "Was that for them?"

    "Nah, that's for you." He said with a smile. "I agreed to all this because I knew this would be the easiest thing for  us."

    "I guess I agree." I nodded, then sighed. "But no more sex. I don't fuck married men."

    "Bet, no sex."

    "Speaking of bets, you got a prize to win for me."

    "Lead the way."

SLIM

     Sometimes, its hard to find the right words to describe that time in my  life. People called me insensitive, but I think I could  be lil bit of a simp. For London, of course. I was caught up in the  hype of it all, trying to collect every win. I didn't realize what I was  losing.

     I lost some time, I couldn't remember what happened. Instead of  asking questions, I assumed like I was used to doing.  There wasn't a doubt in my mind that what I believed was  true. But after looking into London's eyes.. I hadn't stopped thinking  about what she said.

    All the opportunities I received from the situation didn't matter to me. I thought those things would make me happy. Yet,  the smell of the cologne she brought home that night lingers in my nose. She was mine, no matter what. So, I had to know what really happened.

    I  hopped back on a plane to Ohio, and stopped at home. Everything was  just how I left it, a mess. That mess, that turned  out to be my broken lava-lamp, was still scattered across the floor.  London's clothes were everywhere, and my gun was now missing.

    I searched the house for Jason and all his things were still in the guest room. What alarmed me was there being small  drops of blood on the carpet. I checked behind every door, under every bed, and in every closet to see no sign of Jason.

    Just  when I was about to give up, I decided to call him. Ain't no better way  to reach somebody these day than to call  them. Then a few seconds after the call went through, a phone rang in  the house. I immediately hung up and went looking for the noise, but it  stopped.

    So, I called Jason again.

    Then, there goes that phone ringing in the distance, again.   I tried following the sound, digging in the couch cushions and  snatching off pillows. I checked drawers, under tables and even  in baskets.  I could not find that phone.

    And then, I called again.

     This time, I sat still and listened. The noise was coming from  beneath me , like it was in the floor. Then, it hit me. The one  place I hadn't looked yet was the basement. As soon as I opened the  door, a fucked up smell hit me like a bag of bricks. I slammed the door  shut and tried to catch my breath but I hurled. I had no time to make it  to the bathroom and got it all over my kitchen floor  and part of my black forces.

    I slipped out of my shoes and hopped to my room to change into a new pair. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom to clean  up the mess, but I was more curious about what that smell was in my basement.

    My stomach eased down when  I wrapped the towel around my face. Even with my hand holding the towel  against my nose, I could still smell whatever  it was. The light at the top of the steps didn't work, so I had to feel  against the wall to guide my way through the darkness until I made it  to the second light switch.

    There were flies buzzing everywhere,  and I found myself trying to swat them out of my way more as I stepped  down. The closer  I got to the bottom of the steps, the louder the buzzing got. I  no  longer cared about making it to the next light switch and pulled out  my phone to turn on the flashlight.

    The light turned  on and all I saw were eyes staring at me. I jumped so bad, I fell back  onto the steps and almost dropped  my phone. Breaking my neck was a risk I was willing to take as I  stumbled and hopped up the stairs. Successfully avoiding my recent throw  up, I paced my living-room. In between the deep breaths, I shook my  hands to rid my mind of the image that was now branded  in my mind.

     Sweat was coming from places on my body that I forgot I had, and I  couldn't stop the overwhelming feeling of fear I  had in my heart. I had my entire body shaking down to the core. There  was this rush in my chest that was encouraging my eyes to water.

    I pulled off my hoodie and threw it on the couch where I took a seat. Then, my heart stopped. there were tracks of blood  all over my off-white carpet, where I had been pacing, that trailed from the basement.

    "Fuck!"  I said. My heart that was once frozen in time, starting racing. It  was beating through my chest. If I didn't wanna know what happened the  night I don't remember, I sure did now.

CALY

     For a woman like me, looks don't really matter. Its what's  inside that I look for because it's the truth. But now,  I've been interjected into a world where your appearance matters  the most. I must look like one of them, I must talk like one of  them, and I must become one of them. Or, I will be discarded like  everyone else who couldn't hold a candle to Beyonce.

     Etiquette. That was my new least favorite word. Learning how to walk in  the path of the music industry and  entertainment business made me feel like  a toddler all over again. Who knew it'd be so many rules? One wrong  move, and you could be a joke for the next 3 weeks without warning.

    Joi &  Manelle fortunately became permanent stylists of mine. Mona offered  some white people to work on the female cast  members for the show. Yeah, no thank you. In two weeks, we  would have began shooting my, Durk, and Royale's parts. I had to put  some ducks in a row with the money Durk was just giving to me.

    Speaking  of that money, there was alot more where it came from. I came to him  with my plan for my career and he paid  for everything in full. In less than 24hrs I had a marketing and PR  team of my own. I had a set schedule of studio sessions lined up and was  able to have my own press run. Thanks to Durk, I was beginning to feel  like I belonged.

    It had only been two days since our carnival date. I was anticipating our next, which would be tomorrow, because he  won me a large plush Tweety Bird. I love any animal from Looney Tunes, but Tweety was my favorite.

    That  Saturday. I was chilling in my suite, enjoying an afternoon snack, and  watching Bones on Hulu. In a very peaceful  mood, and lowkey fantasizing about the freaky  activities that went on in my bed not too long ago. Am  I wrong for enjoying a little danger?

    Durk sent me  a text, telling me to get ready to party with him in a few hours.  I wasn't going to turn down any time  with him, so I followed suit. I found the best outfit that screams  "Nah, she da homie." Who can go wrong with sneakers, baggy jeans and  a hoodie with a graphic tee on top?

     As promised, there was a knock on my door at 8pm. Joi & Manelle  must have taken over for the day because Durk was dripped  out for no reason. His rose gold grill made me so jealous.

    "Damn, Am I under dressed?" I said looking down at my clothes.

    "Nah, you look good. Not exactly what I expected, but I fucks with yo style."

    "Thank you, I don't think you've seen this side of me yet."

    "I haven't. But, it goes perfectly with your present."

    "Present?"

    "Close your eyes."

    "Oh, this better be Babs." I said as I closed my eyes. His chains clanked and rattled as he shuffled.

    "Aight, open your eyes."

    "Tay.. I can't accept  this!" I said. I know nothing about chains, but that was the best in  my eyes. The chain was thick , the pedant was bigger than  my phone. It read OTFxCALY in all caps.

    "You have to. You gang now." He pulled the chain out of its box and the diamonds danced carelessly. Goodness, he had  charm. "Now, turn around."

    "I can't believe this, I'm scared to ask how much this was worth." It was like I had a weight strapped around my neck,  and the chain was freezing.

    "Not nearly as much as you." he said as he connected the chain. "You're priceless."

    "Bestie, don't you think this gift is a lil much?"

    "Welcome to the team... Bestie" He said with a chuckle and kissed my temple.

     The drive to the party took about 20mins. I watched the city life  fade into suburbs and country. Eventually, we made  it to a point we were in a gated community and the houses were on  steroids. We pulled up to a mansion, the first one I had ever seen in  person, and my jaw dropped to the floor.

     All the lights were out and there were no cars in sight. As puzzling  it was, I followed Durk inside with my hand clasped  to his. No music, no lights, just empty.. My heartbeat sped up as I  looked around in the darkness unsure of what was next to come. Durk  tugged me to a near by wall and cut the lights on.

    "W-where are we?" I said as we stood in a fully furnished mansion. The place didn't even echo.

    "Shh.." he placed his finger against his lips and continued to guide me.

    We walked through the foyer, turned down a hall, and we entered a door that led to a stairway. Again, complete silence  and darkness. I hesitated to follow him down the stairs and pulled my arm away.

    "I'm not walking down there." I said as I stepped back. He chuckled, but stopped when I didn't find it funny.

    "You trust me?" He said.

    "Do you really want me to answer that, right now?"

    "If it's the darkness, the light is at the bottom of-"

    "No, it's the empty house that you said a party would be. I'm. Not. Walking. Down. These. Steps."

    "London, this is not no scary movie." He laughed.

    "And, this not normal. So, what?"

    "You can take the nigga out the hood, but you can't take the hood out the nigga. Huh?"

    "Exactly, now take me back."

    "I promise you, this ain't no funny shit. Trust me."

    "If I die tonight, I will make it my soul's purpose to haunt you until your dying breath." I grabbed hold of his hand  and slowly followed him down the steps.

    "As comforting as that sounds, We won't have to worry about that."

    "Yeah. Well, what makes you so sure?"

    "SURPRISE!" A room full of people shouted. The lights cut on and cameras flashed. I hid behind Durk and screamed all  in one swift motion. He continued to laugh and shook his head.

    "Black people, man." He said.

     The DJ scratched the turntables and the crowd went crazy, instantly  getting the party going. There were alot of familiar  faces that I had only had the privilege of seeing on social media or  the front of an album cover. I expected to be starstruck, but I blame  the surprise aspect for my ability to somehow adjust to being only a few  feet away from Queen Naija.

    "What's this?" I said.

    "An OTF party, welcoming it's newest member." Vinnie said. He and Bria greeted me with a bottle of champagne.

    "Thank y'all for everything. I'm speechless right now."

    "Don't thank us," Bria said. "Thank him."

    "You did all of this?" I said to Durk. He shrugged and bit his bottom lip. "Tay, you've done enough for me already."

    "And, I will continue to do more. Now, let's celebrate."

    He  passed me around the room to shake hands and mingle. I was getting  numbers of people I didn't even know had pull  in the industry. With a blink of an eye, I was the most important  person in the room. People were going live and taking pictures of me.  There were others staring harder than Royale and Megan were in the  corner. G herbo and Lil Bibby were supposed to have their  attention. But, a stank face is hard to mask, apparently. 

    Once  the alcohol opened me up, Durk and I went back upstairs. Surprisingly,  there was a 2.0 in the area that was once  empty. Everyone who attended were chilling to calming music. Smoke  filled the air and some guests raided the kitchen for food and snacks.

    "This is a really nice party, and house."

    "Thank you, and thank you." Durk said.

    "Wait, this is your house?"

    "Yeah." He chuckled.

    "Why didn't you just say that when I was freaking out earlier?!"

    "Cause, you kinda cute when you scared." he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek.

    "Yeah, whatever." I said as I plopped beside him on the couch.

     A few minutes later, everyone from downstairs were filing into the  living room and foyer. A group of strippers cleared  the crowd while holding a custom made cake that was shaped in the words  OTFCALY. Lights were flashing and cameras were pointed on me.

    With  Durk right beside me as I soaked in the moment, a feeling of peace  followed. We stood in front of the cake, giving  the cameras what they wanted to see. He even held up the chain around  my neck. The crowd cheered. Everyone took a glass of Champagne and  focused their attention on Durk who raised his glass to speak.

    "I  would like to officially welcome Caly Michigan  to OTF. She's the first and will be the only female artist signed to  the label. I believe she got so much to bring to the table that I'm  willing to bet my reputation on her success. Welcome to the family,  Caly. We in this for life." he said.

     "For Lifers!" A few people shouted and everyone repeated it as a  toast. I clanked my glass against Durk's and we shared  a gaze into each others eyes. He licked his lips, while I bit my bottom  to hide the grin of pleasure that was burning my cheeks. He leaned in  and kissed my forehead. Chills rushed through my spine, my eyes became  glossy and an overwhelming bliss took over  my body. We were back to locked eyes but I'm sure he was thinking about  my lips, as I was his.

     I caught a glimpse of Royale's mug in my peripheral that shattered my  fantasy. I placed my hand on Durk's cheek, giving  it a soft rub as I took a deep breath. He tilted his head into my hand,  confirming our moment. Without missing a beat, he grabbed my hand and  drank from his glass.

    "Blow out your candles, Bestie" He said, pushing me infront of him as he lingered over my shoulder.

     "Do it with me." I said. We leaned forward to get closer to the  flames. Durk held onto my hip. His grip tightened,  as we inhaled. I was suddenly hit with flash backs of our last Sunday.  When we exhaled together, I imagined we were still in my bed. Panting,  and embracing each other.

    The crowd cheered once the candles were out. Durk cut me out a piece of cake, and I took the first bite before everyone  dug into the remainder. He then disappeared while I enjoyed my cake with Vinnie and Bria.

     It wasn't long before the DJ was set up in the Foyer and got the  party started again. Bria, Vinnie, & I let the drugs  guide us into a dance trio. Eyes were glued on us the moment Bria  twerked in mine and Vinnie's lap at the same time. Our hands caressed  her ass as it jiggled and shook. A small crowd formed around us,  infecting other women to twerk. Vinnie and I was catching  ass left and right, Bria cut a woman off who was going a little too  hard on Vinnie. Next thing we know, a twerk battle broke out.  I still  blame the drugs.

    "Can I talk to you for a second?" Durk whispered in my ear. I followed him into an empty hallway, my heart started  racing with anxiety. The alcohol already had me on 10, I wasn't prepared for a random talk.

    "Wassup, Bestie?" I said with a smirk. I licked my lips as I ran my fingers through his dreads. He sighed and removed  my hands, putting them back to his sides.

    "London, don't take this the wrong way. But, Royale don't feel comfortable with you being here." he said. I laughed and  shrugged my shoulders.

    "Tell me something i don't know. What that gotta do with me?" I laughed a little more, but Durk's expression didn't  read amused.

    "She wants you to leave. If I don't do something, she said she'd kick you out herself. So, let's-"

    "Just tell her to chill, I'm only here for a party that is obviously for me."

    "London, I don't want any problems."

    "Problems? She's the one with a problem. Why would you throw a party for me here if I wasn't welcomed?"

    "I'll make it up to you, I promise. Wiz is gonna take you back to the hotel, and-"

    "Wow.." I said. My blinking sped up as I tried to stop my eyes from watering. "You really kicking me out? Do you know  how embarrassing this is?" Before he could respond, I stormed down the  hall and away from him. I constantly dabbed my makeup with my sweater to  avoid my tears to be visible. I quickly found Wiz and he got me to the  truck within seconds. As soon as Wiz shut the  door behind me, my peace was gone. That blissful feeling of happiness  had dissolved.

     On the drive back to the hotel, my thoughts scrambled. I tried to  wrap my head around what happened, but all I felt  was a gut wrenching embarrassment in the pit of my stomach. How could  Durk do me like that? How did I let him make me look stupid once again?

     "Are you okay?" Wiz said as he pulled into the hotel's parking lot.  He looked back, and I nodded. His face filled with  worry, I guess my rolling tears were a dead give away. I tried to  sniffle and breathe quietly, but the pain in my chest had my lungs spasm  causing my cries to intensify when he looked at me. How embarrassing.

    I planned on calling it a night the minute I got upstairs. But after scrolling on IG and watching people having fun  at my party without me, I couldn't sleep. Still fucked up from the liquor, I had no choice but to lay my ass down, though. Despite that overwhelming illusion that I was in motion when

    Interrupting my fixated stare at the carved ceiling, was a knock at my door. I dragged my feet, expecting it to be  a stranger who's got the wrong suite.

    "What's this?" I said as I opened the door. Vinnie, Bria, and Wiz were surrounded by others with bottles of liquor  in their hands.

    "Wiz  told me what happened, so I thought we should  have us a lil after party." Vinnie said with a grin. I placed my hands  on my chest where my heart warmed, then invited everyone in.

    "I really appreciate y'all for this. I was beginning  to think coming out here was all just a big mistake." I said.

    The  after party had settled down into a simple kick  back. Vinnie, Bria, Wiz, & I was chilling on the couch I had yet  used since moving in. Tipsy was me, and my tongue I couldn't hold. Wiz  had found himself finally relaxed as he laid back on the opposite end of  the couch. Vinnie had his arm around Bria who could  barely keep her eyes open. Him and I sat next to each other and  continued to talk while people slowly disappeared.

    "The mistake you made was signing that NDA. But, that  still didn't give Durk the right to do that to you. Tonight was supposed to be all about you." Wiz said. Bria nodded.

    "Mhm, he's got full control over you now and Royale  is just taking advantage of her power." She said.

    "Well, it's something I can't do anything about."  I said with a shrug.

    "Make  yourself unavailable to him." He said. "Not  only will that limit Royale's opportunities to humiliate you. It will  also force Durk to find a better way to handle you around her."

    "Trust me, she'd never get the chance to do that again."

    "You sure about that?" Vinnie said. "One thing I know  is Royale has Durk wrapped around her finger. She—"

    "And, Caly has him wrapped around hers too. Or have  we forgotten what happened on that Live?" Bria said.

    "He proposed to Royale for a reason, she's not going  anywhere. At least not anytime soon." Wiz said.

    "Okay,  everybody. Y'all missing the point. There is  nothing between Durk and I besides a friendship and a business  contract. Royale has no reason to be acting the way she do." I said.  Then, silence. For a split second, before they all three burst into  laughter. Bria managed to find it just as humerus as Vinnie  and Wiz even though she was half sleep. "What's funny?"

    "You trying to convince us or yourself?" Wiz said.

    "Right" Bria said.

    "The fact that I think you actually believe what you  just said makes it funnier." Vinnie said.

    "You can't lie to me, I know everything." Wiz said.

    "That part." Bria said.

    "This goes without saying, but same here." Vinnie  said. "We're the only people who can testify on your behalf. So, there's no need to lie to us about how you really feel."

    "No offense. But, the person I'm supposed to trust  the most did me the dirtiest. The last person I should be trusting right now, is you Vinnie."

    "Touché." he said.

    "If you asked me," Wiz said. "Vinnie is the first  person you should be listening to in a situation like this. Nobody knows a man like his own brother."

    "Then, what do you suggest I do about Durk, Vinnie?"

    "Give that nigga some time to figure out what he want.  But, play his game whenever you need to." He said. Wiz and Bria both agreed with nods.

     "In order for me to do that, I need to know that I got somebody in my corner at all times."

     "I already told you what was up, ma. You got me just like you got Bria." Vinnie said.

     "And, It's my job to protect you. But, I wouldn't switch up even if Durk stopped paying me." Wiz said.

     "I'd pay you myself if he does." I said.

     "Let  me know if he does, I'll pick up the slack. As long as she taken care  of, you wouldn't have to worry about ya next check." Vinnie said. That  something about them Banks brothers that  intrigued me rattled my spirit.

     "Oh, really?" i said. "I think I been getting to know the wrong brother."

     "You have.." Wiz and Bria said in unision.

     "Come with me to drop Bria off at the Airport tomorrow, and we can see about that." Vinnie said.

     "I'll be ready."

SLIM

     I  spent hours debating what I was going to do about Jason's body in the  basement. Calling the police was not an option, especially if I didn't  know who killed him. Rodney still wasn't answering  his phone, even though it had been a week since I tried calling him  before.

      My last and only options were to check the studio or pop up at his crib.  if anybody was going to help me with Jason, it was going to have to be  Rodney. To be on the safe side, I pulled to  his spot first.

      The door shook as I banged frantically. Normally, I'd knock in  rhythmic intervals. But, time is something I didn't have. My skin was  still crawling from the image of the first dead body I'd  ever saw. What really fucked me up is it was my brother.

     "Nigga, what the fuck?!" He said as the door swung open.

     "W-where  the fuck you been? I called you a thousand times." I said, I barged  into the door and paced back and fourth in his living-room.

     "I been busy. Bro, you good? What you on?"

     "I'm not on nothing, you got company?"

     "Nah, but I was on my way to make some money. Why?"

     "I need a favor. Like, right now."

     "If you owe a muhfucka some money, Ion want no parts. No cap."

     "Nah man, It's worse than that."

     "Fuck you mean?"

     I  tried telling him that i needed help with Jason's body, but the nigga  ain't even believe me. I had to take him back to my crib for him to see  it for himself. When he walked into the living-room  his jaw dropped at my bloody footprints.

     "Damn...  So, it really did happen.." He walked towards the kitchen, examining  the footprints. "Nigga, I thought this was a fucked up dream I had."

     "That's why you ain't been answering my calls?"

     "Nah, i been on some other shit. But, fuck!" he slammed the basement door back shut as he buried his face in his elbow.

     "Exactly.. I don't even know how he got down there."

     "Stop cappin'!"

     "I'm dead ass."

     "What all do you remember?"

     "I remember getting into it with Caly. Then, I woke up the next day and she was gone, and the house was fucked up."

     "That's it?" he asked in a concerning tone.

     "Yeah." he sighed and sat on the couch.

     "The gap you missing happened while you was fucked  up and upset. You lost a whole day, ma nigga."

     "What happened?"

     "You  came to my shit and got drunk. Then,we came here and found Caly butt  ass naked in the room and you lost it. You almost killed that girl."

     "She had a nigga in here?"

     "See,  that's where shit gets fucked up." he chuckled and shook his head.  "Later that night, You found Jason knocked out on the floor with yo gun,  and Caly was missing. Nigga was leaking  from his head."

     "How he get my gun, it was in my room"

     "Take a wild guess."

     "Nah, Caly wouldn't do that to me."

     "I mean, she fucked Durk and lied about it." he shrugged.

     "What the fuck did he have my gun for?"

     "Didn't  matter. You knew what it was off rip and got to beating his ass. Had  him crawling away from you to the basement. You grabbed your gun, shot  him in the head, and he rolled down the  steps. You kicked me out after that."

     "What imma do about this shit?!"

     "I'll take care of it. But you gotta take care of something for me."

     "Bet."

CALY

     Vinnie said, "This is how us Banks' get down."

      We had a front row seat to the city's landscape. Vinnie had brought two  baskets full of food and snacks, with a cooler for drinks. I sat on the  large picnic quilt next to his son Mason who  nibbled on a peanut butter sandwich. His other children, Maya and Malik  were both running around as they play tag with Misharron, they're  mother. Kema, Vinnie's other baby momma, was on the other side of Mason  with a wet wipe ready for use.

     "Thank  god, I chose the right man to have a child with." she said. "Most  single mothers that I know be going through hell with they baby daddies.  Especially those with multiple baby mommas."

     "I can only imagine." i say.

     "That's  them goofy niggas." Vinnie said. "A nigga like me care about what's  best for my kids, what's best for their moms, and what's best for me.  That all boils down to what's best for our  family."

     "Have you figured that out yet?"

     "It's always love, loyalty, peace, and honesty." he said.

     "I didn't expect you to be like this." I said with a shake of my head.

     "Girl.." Misharron giggled. "He surprised the hell outta me."

     "Oh yeah, Vinnie is something else." Kema said.

     "I bet you won't see them going live embarrassing all of us, though."he said as he looked at me.

     "You can't compare Durk baby mommas to us, He a different breed." Kema said.

     "Yeah, he a different breed alright.." I said.

     Vinnie  unintentionally went mute, staring into space. Both Kema and Misharron  noticed right away, slowly shaking their heads before focusing their  attention back to their kids. With nothing  to mask the awkwardness, because I left my phone in the car, I nudged  Vinnie with my shoulder.

     "You good?"

     "Yeah.." he said. He said nothing else, and reverted back to his frozen state.

     "Can I ask you a question? And, be honest."

     "Wassup?"

     "Do you think I'm wasting my time with Durk?"

     "Depends on what you're spending your time doing with him."

     "Come on, I think you know what it is that we doing.."

     "I know what it is, but you don't. Neither does he. Y'all playing with fire."

     "So, I am wasting my time?"

     "Look,  I know how you feeling right now. Having him as a brother wasn't always  as easy as it is now. i suggest you make your intentions clear with him  now, or he'd go as far as you let him."

     "I just don't like feeling like a side chick."

     "If it looks like a duck.." he said.

     "Walks like a duck.." Kema said.

     "And, quacks like a duck," Misharron said.

     "It's a fucking duck." They said.

     "I guess.."

     Vinnie  must've transferred his energy to me, because now I was the frozen one.  Images of Durk and flashed through my mind. A warmth in my heart spread  through my entire body then a pressure  pierced my gut. I was trapped in my own chaotic dilemma. The feelings  that I had for this man was real, yet I couldn't have him the way I  wanted. Until, he wanted me..

     i let out a deep breath, erasing the images from my head. Now, Vinnie was nudging me with a smirk on his face.

     "What's on ya mind, ma?"

     "Nothing,  just thinking.." I said with a shrug of my shoulders. Another memory of  Durk flashed through my mind. Only this one stayed for a while, and it  tugged at my heart strings.

     "You're not a mistake, London."I remembered. i shook my head to rid me of the tingling in my stomach. "I need you,"bounces from ear to ear, taunting me with the memory of Durk's embrace.

     "What's ya story, kid?" Vinnie said, interrupting my thoughts. Kema and Misharron had taken the kids to the playground, leaving us alone.

     "You first." he nodded as he shrugged his shoulders.

     "What about a friendly game of twenty-one questions?" he said.

     "Bet,"  I grabbed a minute maid pink lemonade from the cooler, twisting off the  cap. "How come you're not like this around Durk? You sorta become some  kinda sidekick around him."

     "Uhh.."he forced an awkward laugh as his eyes widened.

     "That sounded better in my head.. I didn't mean to come off rude like that."

     "Nah  you good, you asking the right questions." He spaced out and shrugged  his shoulders once more. "My brother and I just got a different type of  relationship. I was suddenly included in his  life when I started making music. He signed me to his label and I finally felt like his brother again."

     "But why not just be yourself with him? You ain't gotta be this hood ass nigga, or the class clown all the time. You a level-headed, gentle, and cool ass muhfucka. Y'all act more alike than  you think."

     "It  don't work like that, ma." he shook his head. "I been fighting for his  attention my whole life, being myself. The only time he ever  acknowledged a damn thing i done was whenever I followed  in his footsteps. Look like i been chasing this nigga."

     "And, you haven't talked to him about this?"

     "We haven't talked about much besides music since our pops went to prison."

     "Well, why not?"

     "That's  a question you need to ask him yourself." He let out a sigh and looked  away. "What about you? What's got you so fucked up that you out here  risking it all for him?"

     I bit my bottom lip, rummaging for the right answer.

    "You just had to be there that first night.."

    "And you sure it got nothing to do with the fact that y'all fucked last week?"

    "Vinnie.." I shot a look at him and he chuckled.

    "I'm serious."

    "No, and yes. It's not about the sex."

    "Then, what is it?"

    "The connection we have. It's not sexual, it's emotional."

    "So, that sexual connection.." He bit his bottom lip. "that's what you been feeling around me?"

    "What makes you say that?" I giggled as my cheeks warmed.

    "I just get the vibe that if I kissed you right now, you wouldn't like that. But, there are times I swear you'd let me eat you right up."

    "I blame Bria."

    "Me too." we laughed and went silent. We looked at each others eyes that were full of lust. "She wants you to be apart of our relationship."

    "I know," I smiled. "But, what y'all have is emotional too."

    "True, but what she has with you is emotional." he said.

    "Is this you taking one for the team?" I laughed.

    "Nah, I just wanna see her happy. You do that for her. But, I understand you when you say my brother has your heart. You can't fake that."

    "I can't give her what you can, she knows that." I said. "But, if this is what she wants, I'm down."

    "It never hurts to try." He shrugged. "Besides, you gone need to let off alot of steam fucking with Durk."

    "You so nasty for that." i shoved him and we joined in a laugh.

    The day at the park came to an end and the kids were dropped off at home along with their mothers. Vinnie invited himself up to my suite, knowing I'd be alone for the rest of the night. I checked in with Wiz, letting him know I was back and invited him to come over at any time. I wasn't planning on doing nothing special. In my mind, I was getting my energy prepared for filming in the the next couple of weeks.

    "Believe it or not, I drank this often back at home. I can just afford it now." I said before taking a shot of Vinnie's Dusse. "Ooh shit! Dusse is so gross."

    "Shitttt.. That's coming from somebody who drink that Thot Juice." Vinnie said.

    "If Imma get something cheap, its only right that I pick what's gone get me fucked up."

    "Nah, you couldn't pay me to drink light." he chuckled.

    "Oh, you gone drink whatever I put up in this shot glass." I said.

    "Is that right?" He said seductively, licking his lips. He laid back in the recliner, with his eyes low.

    "Yeah, that's right." I said with a giggle to hide my attraction. I poured him a shot, climbed on his lap and put the shot glass near his lips. "Open wide." He swallowed the Dusse like a dose of your favorite cough syrup. All while he kept his eyes on me and they were telling me to come closer. Then, I figured out what intrigued me about him. "You're submissive.."

    "Bingo." He said, waiting for my next command. He raised an eyebrow, pressuring me to continue.

    "But, I am too.."

    "I know the trick for that."

    "What?"

    "You wanna be satisfied and satisfy me at the same time.. How do you do that knowing what you know?"

    "Mm,"I said with a nod. "So, use what you want, to get what I want?"

    "Exactly." He said with a smirk. His arms remained open, with his hands rested on the arms of the recliner. The twinkle in his eyes was begging for me. The apparent erection of his was bulging through his black Nike sweats and pressing against my warm opening. "Tell me what you want from me."

    "Fuck me." I whispered in his ear. A gasp escaped my lips as he swiftly flipped us over, laying me down on the recliner. Goosebumps raised all over my body as he knelt down between my thighs. He looked up at me for permission to continue, licking his lips and rubbing my legs.

    Knock! Knock! KNOCK!

    "The fuck?" I said as I sat up. There was another knock sequence, reminding me of who it might be. "Stay right here." Vinnie let out a heavy breath as he plopped on the couch, he was no longer standing at attention. Which called for another shot straight from the bottle. I felt him.

    "Who is it?!" I said. I got no answer, confirming who I thought it was. I swung open the door and stood there with my arms crossed. "Looks like we've got company, Vinnie."

💭💭💭

Are you a drinker?

If so, Liquor, Beer, or Wine?

What's your favorite drink(s)?

Patron, Dusse, Jose Cuervo, or Hennessy?

Stella Rosa, Capricio, Andre, or Barefoot?

- I ain't gone lie, if you drink beer, you too deep in them trenches for me 😂 I ain't made it to that level yet.