CALYPSO

    I remember this night, like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the couch, oversized sweater, biker shorts, and my braids were in a bun. I was trembling with joy and curiosity as I sipped my chamomile tea. I couldn't quite yet process that I might have done something that would change my life forever. Nor, did I understand why me. Just a week before I was doubting myself and my craft, I was so depressed. Then, there I was. Having the greatest moment with someone I've never even met. Yet, I felt like I'd been waiting for that moment my entire life. It was less about my music, but more about him. Which was very hard for me to see through.

    So, after Durk ended the live, I took a moment to myself. Made some tea, sipped that tea, and paced back and forth until my phone vibrated. When I grabbed my phone and saw that I had a legit DM from Durk, my knees grew weak. I had to sit down. But, I couldn't seem too eager to text him. Nay, nay. Every woman knows that you wait a few minutes, maybe 10, before replying to the first few messages. So, I eagerly waited. While I waited, there was a knock at the door. A knock at the door? I lived too many hours away from home for pop ups, so who was at my door? Take a fucking guess.. In the meantime, I replied back to Durk's DM.

@lildurk: How you learn how to rap like that?

@calymichigan: I've been a good writer ever since I've learned how. I was writing love letters at 5yrs old. Father taught me the basics of hip hop and music around 8/9yrs old. I learned the rest on my own.

    "Who is it?!" I said.

    "It's me!" Jason said. I frowned in confusion. Walking to the front door, I looked through the peephole. He was alone.

    "Slim ain't here!" I said. My phone vibrated again with a response from Durk.

@lildurk: I gotta sign you.

@calymichigan: I told you, I'm not looking to get signed. I'm my own business, not a product.

    "I just talked to him, he knows I'm here!" He said.

    "Well, wait in the car!" I said. I tapped my foot against the wooden floor as I crossed my arms. Jason never moved from the door. In fact, he knocked again.

    "Yo, stop playing!" He said. "You can call him yourself right now!"

    "You know what.." I mumbled. I started to call Slim, but Durk replied to my message.

@lildurk: I feel that, and I don't blame you. But, we can write up a contract according to your demands. Just tell me what you want.

@calymichigan: I want to be taken serious as a businesswoman. How do I know you're not fucking with me?

    "Caly!" He said. "Bitch, open the fucking door!"

    "Who the fuck you talking to?!" I said as I opened the door. Crossing my arms again, I just stood in the doorway. "Get the fuck off my porch and wait until he get home."

    "He said I can stay here." Jason said. I looked behind him to see two big trash bags with a backpack stuffed to capacity on his back.

    "Stay where?"

    "Here, in y'all guest room. You know, the one y'all don't use." He tried to push his way passed me, but I pushed him back.

    "Un, uhh. This ain't that." I said. He frown and smack his lips.

    "Man, if you don't move."

    "I didn't say you can stay here, goodbye."

    "I can make it to where YOU don't stay here. If you really wanna play that game."

    "Yeah, but you forgot the part where my name is on the lease, and the bills." I said with a shrug. "So, technically, this is MY shit."

    "Look, I ain't got nowhere to go."

    "Not my problem."

    "I just loss my family, and my job."

    "Again, not my problem. You don't have a job, you sell drugs, Jason."

    "Caly.." he said. He looked me in the eyes and then away as he took a deep breath. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. Thumbing through, he separated a fourth from the stack and offered it to me. "I need you."

    Then it clicked. I couldn't stop that from happening even though I wanted to. I didn't accept his money, because I couldn't. I had a flash back to when I was in his situation. Although everyone I've ever asked for help refused to do so, or fucked me over. I vowed to never treat others like my own family treated me. I stepped aside, and helped him bring his belongings to the back room through the kitchen. Then, my phone rang. I was getting a video call from Durk. I rushed to my room, plopped on my bed.

    "Hey, wassup?" I said. Suddenly, I felt this unexplainable tension. The same tension I felt when were on live together. His light brown eyes somehow put me in a trance and all I could do was smile.

    "Come see me." He said. He licked his lips slowly, biting down on his bottom. In my mind, I said yes. But,

    "I can't." I said. I sighed as I played with the chipped polish on my nails. "I have a boyfriend."

    "And, I got a girl." He said. He shrugged, he didn't seem concerned about the consequences that I knew it could lead to if I  gave in.

    "I'm saying, he's not home right now. He should be home any minute and it's just a lot going on right now. I don't drive, so he has the car. Nor, will he be okay with me being out with another guy. I don't-" I said.

    "I hear you. I apologize." He said. He nodded and pressed his hand against his chest, right above his heart. I was caught off guard and was pretty lost for words. "How about we set up a public meeting tomorrow?"

    "I can't do that either. I work third shift. Twelve hours. Today's my last day off, so I'll be sleep during the day tomorrow and the next few days." I said. I could tell he was disappointed by the way his face read defeat. The camera pointed to the ceiling and I heard him blow out a breath of frustration. Then, the camera dropped back to him.

    "Oh, umm.." He said. His focus went to something else in the room. He wouldn't even look me in the eyes anymore, as if he was rejecting me.

    "Yeah, I'm sorry for wasting your time.." I said. My cheeks warmed up with embarrassment, causing my eyes to water as I looked away from the camera. I couldn't believe that was happening. It just happened out of nowhere. I apologized once more and ended the video call. As I was wiping my eyes and sniffing my nose, Durk called back. I waited until he called another time to answer.

    "Send me your address, I'm coming to pick you up." He said in the softest tone.

    "I just-"

    "Send the address."

    I mean, of course I sent him my address. But SIS, I forgot Jason was in my house. I got dressed, I grabbed my coat, and I opened my door. Tell me why this man is standing on the other side of the door staring dead at me? He's grinning and shaking his head trying to let me know that he knows something. I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes,

    "Boy, what do you want?" I said.

    "I heard you." He said. "And unless you want Slim finding out about this, you owe me one."

    "You living here ain't you?" I said. I raised an eyebrow and rolled my neck. "Cause you can walk up outta here."

    "Yeah, but I got more leverage with this option." He said.

    "You tell him about this, and I'll tell him about us." I said as I waved my hand back and forth. I got a DM from Durk saying he was outside , so I pushed passed Jason.

    "If you do that, won't that just make you look worse?" He said. I thought about it, and he was right. I couldn't let Slim find out about it, not just yet. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around.

    "What do I owe you?" I said. With a roll of my eyes, I took another deep breath. This time more aggressive.

    "You know what I want.." he said. His grin became more menacing as he licked his lips, rubbed his hands together, and sized me up. I got the illest chills to the point the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

    "Fine.." I said. "Keep your fucking mouth shut."

    "Have fun with Bria." He said. I fluttered my eyelids and my whole face was now hot.

    "H-how do you know Bria?" I said, squinting my eyes. He chuckled and slowly started walking backwards towards what is now his room.

    "Remember," he said with a wink. "You owe me."

    Since I'm being honest with you guys, I don't know what I was thinking when I went out that night. But one thing's for sure, that was the first time I've felt alive in my entire life. I was doing something that I wanted for me, for once. I fell in love with myself that night. Mainly, because I was proud that I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I wasn't afraid, nor did I feel the need to apologize. That night, I remembered WHO I was. For that, I'll forever be grateful.

    "Hop in, Stranger!" He said. Hearing his voice in person was like giving a blind man vision. The way his grillz glistened in the moonlight, I'll never forget it.

    It was around 10pm when Durk picked me up in a red SUV. We locked eyes off rip and shared a smile as I walked towards the passenger side. Not only was this my first time sitting is a very expensive vehicle, but it was also my first time with any other guy. So, I felt a little anxious when I sat in the passenger seat.

    "Relax," Durk said. His dreads fell forward as he lowered his head, "I got you. You safe with me."

    "Oh. My. God..." I mumbled. I melted into the seat, it felt like it was hugging me from behind. Just like Slim used to. When I realized there was a silence, I lifted up the seat and put on my seatbelt. "I'm sorry."

    "Rough day?" He said. He put the car in drive and looked out the window pass me.

    "Yeah, something like that." I said. I looked in the same direction and could see Jason peeking through the top windows of the front door.

    "Wouldn't have anything to do with him, would it?" He said. I tried staring into his eyes, and I wanted to lie. But, his tone was demanding. "I thought ya mans wasn't here."

    "That isn't my boyfriend." I said. He frowned and looked down at my shaking leg.

    "Then, why you nervous?"

    "Can we PLEASE just go?!"

    "Say less." He said and then pulled off.

    For some little time, we drove around the city. He asked me about things that bring me joy, which ultimately calmed my nerves. Assuming he sensed my initial frustration, I apologized. As he did the same. No guy has ever done that with me before. You know, genuinely cared.

    I learned a side of him that I didn't think he'd have. Yes, I know entertainers are human and that they have an alternate reality than what we see on social media. But, I could tell that he didn't even know this side of himself either.

    "Wait, so you telling me that YOU, Lil Durk, has learned how to design your own clothes?!" I said.
    "Please, just call me Tay." He said, glancing at me then back at the road. "But yes, I'm a designer. I actually made this jacket and these jeans."

    "Wait.. Tay?" I said. I stared at him with my mouth wide open and in utter shock. He parked his car near the back of the Hyatt Regency."You told me to call you just Durk."

    "It's a nickname my family gave me after my pops. His name is Dontay. So, they called me Tay-Tay." He said. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and stared out the window.

    "Are you and him close?" I said. I took my seat belt off and leaned towards him. He shook his head no, his dreads covered up every emotion he tried to front with on his face.

    "Nah," he said. He took off his seatbelt and took a deep breath. "He's been in prison since I was a kid. I didn't get to know him that well. But, he made a name for me in these streets before I got to em. So, when I got old enough, I just went by my name. Durk."

    "Aww.." I said. I rubbed his biceps and shoulder, feeling his energy run through my veins. "Well, Tay, I love what you've done with that jacket and those jeans. You might have to show me a few things about fashion." He smiles and rested his hand on mine, giving it a squeeze.

   "What about you?" He said.

    "What about me?" I said.

    "Is Calypso your real name?"

    "No, well yes."

    "Well, which is it?"

    "It's my middle name. My first name is London. People like to call me Lady London. But I honestly believe my middle name has more meaning to it. So, I prefer Caly." I said.

    "Caly it is." He said.

    It was almost like we were in a deep meditative state. Yet, we could interact with each other all at the same time. Peaceful. We ordered from Teriyaki Express and ate while we listened to some oldies. And,  by oldies I'm talking the 50's and 60's. We sang along to Stand By Me by the one & only Ben E. King. Then, we slow danced in front of his car to At Last by Etta James. Peaceful, it was.

    "I'm sorry." I said. I laid my head on his shoulder. We sat on the floor with our backs against the hotel mattress. I played with the remaining chipped nail polish on my nails. Durk grabbed my hand and wrapped his fingers in mine.

    "Why do you apologize so much?" He said. His thumb rubbed the back of my hand.

    "I don't know, I just feel like I rub people the wrong way. And, sometimes I make the dumbest decisions." I said. I shrugged my shoulders let out a sigh as our thumbs played together. "I don't know."

   "Like what?" He said. He grabbed my legs and placed them on top on his lap. So then, I'd be facing him in a way.

    "I-I um.." My heart started racing and I didn't remember what to say.

    "Look at me." He said. He rubbed from my foot to my thigh while keeping eye contact with me, and then back down to my bare foot. "Now breathe." We inhaled slowly and exhaled the same, again, we didn't break eye contact.

   "That was my boyfriend's best friend you saw peeking through the door, earlier." I said. He nodded as he caressed my feet.

    "Mm," He said. "What's the story behind that?"

    "Apparently, he lives with us now. Just showed up on the doorstep tonight." I said. I shrugged my shoulders, again, and pulled my hair out the bun, scratching my scalp.

    "The story don't end here, does it?" He said.   I moved my focus back to my nails, and he chuckled. "You fucked him, didn't you?"

    "Nooo!" I said. I gasped and shook my head anxiously.

   "But, something DID happen." He said. He nodded and pulled my thighs closer to him. At that point, we were just inches apart. I could smell his cologne, feel the warmth radiating off of his skin, I could hear every single breath he took, and all I wanted was to know what that tasted like.

    "How are you doing this to me?" I said.

    "Come here." He said. He tapped my thigh and tugged at my knee, pulling it around his waist. He instructed that my other do the same. Then, placed his forehead against mine while we interlocked our hands and snuggled them between us. I was sitting in a praying posting on his lap. It felt like energy was exchanging through our forehead and our wrapped up fingers were the source. "You feel that?"

    "Yeah," I said. We closed our eyes and sat for a moment in silence. Our breathing slowed and I could hear our hearts beating in sync. I could see us together, Smell a variety of things and feel his every thought. Then, the feeling became intense. Tears were slowly slipping down my cheeks and my body warmed up. I thought it was just me until Durk sniffled.

    "I don't know what this is, or what it means, But-"

    "It feels sooo good." I said in a whisper. In the heat of the moment, we rubbed noses, and brushed our lips passed each other. The energy between us felt orgasmic. Our hearts started racing and breathing quickened.

    "Aye bro, you got a cond-" King Vinnie said as he opened the door. Durk and I instantly snapped back into reality and our heads shot into the direction of the door. I wiped my face and quickly slid off his lap, tucking my legs close to my chest. Durk didn't say or do anything, he just sat there, staring at Vinnie. But, even I knew what that stare meant. "My bad, I ain't know you had company."

    "You know I don't use condoms, Vin." Durk said. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. But damn, those seconds were brutal. "Caly, this is my lil brother. Dayvin. You know him as Vinnie."

    "Nice to meet you, Dayvin." I said. I smiled, only because my nerves were a wreck. But, he smiled too. Like, he was being genuine.  He waved his hand and nodded his head one good time.

    "Nice to meet you too, Caly." He said with a chuckle. "Don't mind me, I'm taking good care of ya friend."

    "Oh, I know." I said. I shook my phone in the air. "I'm keeping tabs."

    "PERIOD!" Bria said from the living room. We all joined in laughter and Vinnie left the room. Durk and I took the deepest breath as if we'd been holding it the whole time. I had a little tremble going on and Durk still had the sniffles as he wiped his wet eyes.

    "That was close." Durk said. He stood up and held his hand out to help me up.

    "You don't think he saw me on top of-"

    "He's fine," he said. "we're lucky it WAS Vinnie."

    SLIM

    "That shit go hard!" I said with a nod. My homies, new found brothers, and I would chill at the studio almost every night I wasn't working. I got pretty cool with my producer/engineer Rodney, so I didn't have to pay him a dime as long as a check comes his way when the royalties hit. The rest of the homies were local artists who came to the studio as often as I did. He would let females come kick it, from time to time. But every since Rodney and Bria broke up, niggas wasn't feeling parties no more. I couldn't blame him, me and my girl had our own issues.

    "Aye, you should switch up the tempo when you get to that bridge. That'll change the whole vibe to the song." Rodney said.

    "Faaaaaacts!" Steelo said. He blew smoke out of his nostrils and took another hit from his y'all glass bong.

    "Bet, make it happen." I said.

    "Roger that." Rodney said. He put his headphones on and went straight to work on protools. I walked out of the booth and sat in a rolling chair next to him.

    "Yoooo," DJ answered his phone. He and two other homies sat on the couch right across from me. Steelo sat by himself in a rolling chair next to me. "You said, what?" DJ put his phone on speaker for everyone to hear.

    "King Vinnie & Durkio here, bro."

    "What you mean, they here?" DJ said.

    "Like, they in Cleveland right now. My babymomma said she work with the girl that was on his live just a minute ago. Go to his Instagram. I swear to god, bro."

    "Aight, what's his IG?" DJ said. I took it upon myself to pull it up on my phone. I already do all my business on Instagram, so I knew what his account was.

    "At lildurk. But skip all the way to the end." I got there quicker than everyone in the room. Not because I was anxious or excited to see the nigga live. But, because I know exactly what my bitch look like and that was her.

    "The fuck?" I said.

    "Ain't that Bria?!" Steelo said. He pointed at the picture Caly held up to the screen. Rodney stopped what he was doing immediately and took a look at my phone. Then, we all watched Lil Durk & King Vinnie do what niggas do to bitches who ain't got a clue.

    "You good, B?" I said. I kept my eyes on my phone, I knew I was the most furious.

    "I told you to take care of her ass a long fucking time ago." Rodney said. He chuckled and shook his head. "Bria not my bitch no more. But you? You needa handle that. Tonight, or never. I promise you."

    "What would you do?" I said. He turned back around in his chair, leaning close to my ear.

    "Bria only still breathing because I didn't want her no more." He whispered. "But, that don't mean any of her new niggas safe around me."

    "What if I still do? Want caly?" I said. We made momentary eye contact and he shrugged. "Then make sure can't nobody else have her. Or want her. Ain't too much you CAN do. The streets got her now."

    "Damn, bro. Durk prolly beating ya bitch doonies dafuck down right now!" DJ said.

    "Taking her through there!" Said another. Them niggas laughed right in my face. Rodney was the loudest one. Caly did a number on me with that one. I ain't been the same since.

BRIA

    My name is not important. And, my story is often misconstrued or missing pieces. Me being that missing piece, no one ever tells my story correctly. To be honest, I never had the chance to tell my own story. So, what's up with all the conspiracies?

    I met Vinnie the same day Caly met his older brother, Durk. It was kind of a match maker situation. I wasn't expecting much from it, I just found him attractive and was excited to try something new. Come on now, you wouldn't turn down the chance to meet a popular artist who's conveniently in the place where you work. It was too easy. Besides, Caly was just looking out for a sister after I gave her the heads up about seeing Durk earlier that day.

    My ex, Rodney, and I had ended our relationship a few weeks before. I was grateful to have survived the abuse I went through with that man. With work, spending time with Caly, doing hair, and getting used to being alone in my apartment, I was coping the best I could.

    When Vinnie and I met up at the hotel, we instantly vibed. He let me inside, he offered me something to drink, he let me choose what we would do, and he didn't make me feel like a stranger. We rolled up blunts together, one a piece. Then, he took me with him to grab some carry out. By the time we came back, Caly was in the room with Durk. I was satisfied with how my night was going, so I stayed when Caly went home.

    "Lately, I've been having this crippling paranoia that makes me believe Rodney is always with me. He's just waiting for me to give up and run back to him." I said. I took another puff of our second blunt and passed it to Vinnie. We chilled, reclined to the back seats of his car. His phone played music on low through the Bluetooth. I can still smell the Black Ice that hung from his rear view mirror. The one that he shoved in the vent on the passenger side too.

    "Does it feel like that now?" He said. He blew out smoke, adding to the cloud we've formed. He turned up on the cool air to clear it up a bit as he passed me the blunt.

    "No, I wasn't even thinking of him until you asked me if I was single." I said. I shrugged and slipped my shoes off. "Are you?"

    "Yes," he said with a nod. But, his facial expression seemed unsure.

    "Uh, uhh." I said. I laughed and shook my head. " what's her name?"

    "Megan... Misharron," he mumbled. "... Kema."
    "Vinnie.." I said. I smacked my lips and pushed his shoulder. He shook his heads and chuckled. "Wooow! So, you got me out here doing hot girl shit!"

    "So this what happened." He said as he sat up. "Kema & Misharron is my baby mommas. Megan just, you know, be around a lot."

    "Interesting," I said and nodded. I took a long hit from the blunt and passed it back to Vinnie. "Am I like yo shorty from Ohio, now?"

    "Nah," he said. "But you can be."

    "I'm single, you single,"

    "We can be single together.."

    "I like the sound of that." I said. Vinnie put the blunt out and lifted his seat up. I lifted mine up too when he nodded his head in the direction of the backseat.

    "I think I lost my keys back there. Wanna help me find em?" He said with a wink. I smiled and climbed in the back seat. "Damn, all that ass."

    "You coming to get it, or what?" I said. When he joined me in the back, he pulled me on top of his lap. His big warm hands slid into my leggings and gripped my ass cheeks. He pressed his crotch against mine as he licked his lips.

    "Mmm," he said. He rubbed his hands up my sides and gripped my breasts. "Let's make a bet."

    "What's that?" I said as I began to grind on his lap.

    "If I'm the best you ever had," he said. He lifted my crop top above my breasts and placed a soft kiss in between them. "This." He kissed. "Is." He kissed again. "Mine." He kissed once more.

    "Mmm," I said. My nipples raised and he took one into his mouth, maneuvering his tongue along my areola. "And, If I'm the best you've ever had," I placed my hands onto his cheeks, lifting his face. "you belong to me."

    "Bet." He said as he bit his bottom lip. I leaned down and kissed his lips. Then, one thing turned into another. You get the point.

    Although that was our first time, I knew it wouldn't be our last. It wasn't about the sex. It was about the chemistry. I used to bow down to niggas for respect that they still owe me til this day. But not with Dayvin. Dayvin and I never judged one another and we were honest with each other. With me, he was submissive. He adored me, and I adored him.

CALYPSO

    "Come to Chicago with me." Durk said. We were sitting in his Bentley outside of my house, it had to be around midnight. His hands were still gripping the steering wheel, but we had already been parked for a few minutes. Now that I think about it, he was just as nervous as I was. Only, I knew Slim was home. I'd been staring at our car in the driveway since Durk pulled up.

    "I already told you," I said, fiddling with the zipper on my coat. "I can't."

    "But-"

    "I had a really nice time tonight." I said. I looked at his worried face. The fact that he wasn't trying to hide that he cared... honestly, terrified me. I've dealt with nonchalant men my entire life. The rest were snakes with hidden intentions. I was raised to never trust a soul. But, Durk. I could see right through his. "Thank you."

    "What's stopping you from coming?" He said.

    "I have bills, I have a job, I have a relationship, and it is all right here. Not in Chicago." I said as I shook my head. I rubbed the sides of my face to avoid showing how conflicted I was. "To be quite frank, I don't even have the time to make decisions like this. Not right now."

    "Then when?" He said, raising an eyebrow. "You mentioned everything that's keeping you here besides yourself. Sounds like to me you're stuck. What happens when all that shit is gone, Caly?"

    "Then, I'll have to-"

    "Make decisions like this, right?" He said.

    "I come from a place where you either have two jobs, or two houses." I said. "Most of my family members barely had ONE job, let alone two. Being in poverty is all I ever known and I FINALLY have exactly what I thought I could never have. I get to live, I don't have to worry about surviving anymore. I have a job that I only have to go to three days a week. I make enough money to afford all the bills with just my check. I have a boyfriend that I've been with for years and we made it THIS far together. Despite all the shit we've been through, he's still here."

    "Caly," he said. He caressed my thigh, allowing me to pull down my emotions. "I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry."

    "You didn't. I'm just proud of where I am and here you are. Judging me." I said with a shrug. He shook his head to contest but I continued to speak. "Girls like me don't get to follow our dreams. We don't get to have standards and opinions. We don't deserve to date for love or genuine connections. Girls like me die young and alone. We take what is given to us and we don't complain. We need men who latch onto us and drain us for every ounce of energy we have, all because they need it to survive... just like us." I sniffed and took a deep breath as I looked out the window.

    "I have a once in lifetime opportunity." He said. He grabbed my chin and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. Tears fell from my eyes as I looked into his. "I can guarantee you a better job, that you won't have to work twelve hours for. Until then, I'll take care of all of that for you. Food, shelter, everything. I'll email you the contracts once I write up the one that works for you tomorrow. Business partners, right? But, you HAVE to come to Chicago with me. Please, I need you."

    "Do you need me, or just want me?" I said.

    "This offer is only FOR YOU." He said.

    "You have a long line of women you can choose right now if I say no. I know that much." I said. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

    "I didn't want to sign anyone, I wasn't going to. But then, I met you. If you say no, so do I. I'll go back to Chicago alone and we can act like this never happened." He said with his hands up in surrender.

    "That's my point." I said and smacked my lips. "If it wouldn't matter if I said no, it's not meant for me."

    "If it's not meant for you, then why'd you make it happen in the first place?" He said.

    "I.. I don't know." I said. I looked out of the window at my house, then my car. Then I noticed Slim staring out the bedroom window.

    "Look, I'll understand if you don't come. But, if you change your mind, meet me at the hotel on Friday morning. As soon as you get out of work. If you're not there by nine AM, I'll leave without you. You won't hear from me again. I promise."

    He didn't hesitate, he didn't blink, and he didn't stutter. With firm eye contact, he gave me an ultimatum. I feel like he knew I didn't want to make the decision for myself. I tried every excuse possible and he still gave me the choice. Drastic changes were usually the ones that threatened me, so I was certain that was the last time I'd see him. The whole night out with him gave me something that I probably wouldn't see again, even though I had been craving it. And, it was time I accepted defeat. We stared at each other for a few seconds and a wave of sadness rushed in.

    "I gotta go." I said. I zipped up my coat and shoved my phone in my pocket, trying my hardest to avoid that overwhelming feeling of loss. "Thank-"

    "London." He said. He didn't grab me, nor did he lock the doors. What surprised me the most is that he didn't even raise his voice. Yet, I no longer could move. "Look at me." I took a look at his glossy eyes and my eyes instantly filled with tears. We leaned in close to each other as we touched foreheads. Interlocking our fingers once again, he held our hands against his heart. I closed my eyes and rubbed my nose against his as I whimpered. He used our hands to lift my chin and his lips meshed with mine. Oh, his lips felt like cool pillows on a hot night. My body warmed from toes to my hair follicles as he filled my soul with energy. I felt like I was vibrating so strong, I was starting to levitate. When I opened my eyes, he was biting his bottom lip and waving goodbye to me with his. The only man I've seen cry was my father, and he was drunk. So, I knew whatever happened between Durk & I that night was real. And, so did he. His brought my hands to his lips and kissed them both slowly before letting them go. Then, he let me go. The further I walked away, the more it felt like I was tugging at a rope. I looked back at Durk when I made it to the front door, his expression never changed. But, I knew he felt it too. He waited until I was inside the house to drive off.

    This is the part of the story that I don't like to tell. Nor do I think I'll ever tell it again. Disclaimer: TRIGGER WARNING! You will now read disturbing events of abuse in multiple forms. If that is something you can't read, please go to the next chapter. I'll give a brief recap if necessary.

    So, I walk in the house and Jason is sitting on the couch. He looks absolutely spooked, eyes wide and his eyes are moving from me to the direction my room rapidly. Then, his head shot down as he continued to break down nugs.

    "Where you been?" Slim said. He stood in the doorway of our bedroom, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed.

    "With Bria." I said. I took off my coat and wrapped it on a dining chair.

    "Since when can Bria afford a Bentley truck?" He said, then he scoffed. He slid his hands into his pockets and slowly walked towards me. My heartbeat quickened.

    "You don't know what she can and can't afford." I said.

    "Jay." He said.

    "Huh?" Jason said. He was rolling a blunt between his lips, avoiding eye contact with me.

    "You said she was here when you got here, right?" Slim said.

    "Yeah-"

    "How else would he get in here?" I said and then smacked my lips.

    "So, you saw Bria?" Slim said. He looked at Jason. Jason looked at me and then Slim.

    "Was I supposed to? I mean, I was in the bathroom. I didn't kn-"

    "I just told you where I was at. What the fuck you questioning him about me for?" I said and then marched to my room. I took off my shoes and grabbed a scrunchie to tie my hair up.

    "What y'all do on a Wednesday night?" Slim said as he closed the bedroom door behind him.

    "We got something to eat, we went for a ride," I said. I smiled a little and bit my bottom lip. "We meditated."

    "Mm. Meditated." He said with a grunt. Then, he chuckled and sat on the bed. "Sounds like y'all had fun."

    "Yeah, it was really peaceful." I said. His phone vibrated with a phone call and he answered.

    "Yo?" He said. I went back into the living room to grab my phone out my coat pocket. Jason and I looked at each other and he shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, she's not home? That's crazy, cause Caly been back for a minute now"

    "Who are you talking to?" I said. I frowned and walked back into the room.

    "Aye, Bria driving a Bentley now? A red one?" He said. I reached pass him to grab the charger out the wall, and he grabbed my upper arm. He pulled me close and trailed his nose across my collarbone.

    "What are you doing?" I said and struggled to get out of his grip. He hung up the phone and let me go. He scratched his head and furrowed his eyebrows as he looked dead at me.

   "Why you smell like that?" He said.

    "What do you mean?" I said.

    "You smell like cologne." He said. He took a deep breath and his eyes became glossy. "Don't none of my shit smell like that, London. So, imma ask you again. Why you smell like that?"

    "I don't kn-" He stood up, grasped onto my neck, and plunged me into the bedroom door. It felt my head went through to the other side. I almost wiggled myself until he added his other hand for better grip.

    "You gone sit here and lie in my fucking face!?" He said. His grip around my neck became tighter and he lifted me off the ground. "Bitch, you think I'm stupid?!" He banged my head against the door with my feet dangling above the ground. "Huh?! Bitch, you think I'm stupid?!" Tears fell out of my eyes, blurring my vision. I began to kick at his legs with everything I had in me. He seemed like he didn't feel me clawing at his face and arm until I was losing my strength. He spit in my face when I couldn't fight no more. My eyes got low and then I was asleep.

    I know you believe I deserved it. Shit, I think about it now and feel as if I could've avoided it. But, Slim broke me right there. While my unconscious body laid on my bedroom floor, Slim didn't even check to see if I was still alive.

    I've been through hell and back with Slim. Well, maybe it's always been hell. But at first, he lured me in with charm. He was spontaneous, we always went on adventures. He was thoughtful, every gift he gave me had meaning. Then, he wasn't. Lying, cheating, manipulation, guilt tripping, oh and the gaslighting. The gaslighting is his favorite tactic to pull. He knows how get me to do anything he wants. One time, he said, "I don't know why you're getting upset, I know you're never going to leave me. You love me too much. So, get rid of the fucking attitude." The fucked up part about it? He was right.

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LIL BABY as Rodney

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