CALYPSO

"Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be important.

How it feels to be considered, or respected.

As a woman, I Intend to do my best.

All the rest is unimportant.

So, I look inside myself.

Cause, no one else can do it for me.

I mind my business like I'm supposed to.

It's annoying.

Cause everybody's so concerned with mine too.

Ain't it funny?

How these goofies in my city try to play me like a dummy.

Then, they mad and so upset.

When I tell them they ain't for me.

So, I'm going and I'm going and I'm going through the motions.

Been in and outta in and outta in and outta focus.

Can't comprehend the damage that I'm doing when I'm frozen.

But I promise to myself,

Until I die, I'm never folding.

Yeah, I'm never folding.

Tell me that you love me, if you die I'll never know it.

Reach up to the sky, like when I'm high, you'll feel me flyin

Ask me if I'm good.

If I'm okay.

What if I'm dying, yo?

Check up on me, Check up on me.

I can be depressed, you never know.

So, check up on me.

Check up on me, Check up on me.

I'm caught up in the thoughts inside my head.

I'm feeling lonely.

Check up on me, Check up on me.

I can be depressed, you never know.

So, check up on me.

Check up on me, Check up on me.

I'm caught up in the thoughts inside my head.

I'm feeling... lonely." I rapped. Tears fill my eyes as I feel the lyrics replay in my mind and the rest of the beat continues. Writing and recording music is the only time I get to myself. So, I tend to scribble my pain and whatever emotions that are on my mind into my songs. Sort of like a diary.

"That was nice." Nazz, my producer said with a thumbs up.

I was famous, and rich. Talk about an overnight celebrity. That was the hardest to grasp and get used to. The feeling of no longer being normal when I was around others, or on the internet. The surrealism of people recognizing me whenever I commented on random posts that I scrolled past.

The Pros? I had opportunities falling out the ass for me. Enough to keep me from having to get a working-class job. My peers considered them small. But when you come from a world where following your dreams was impossible, I was privileged to have any opportunity of any size.

"Hey, Ain't that the girl that just signed to OTF?" I heard a woman say as I walked out of the grocery store to my truck.

"I told you this wasn't a good idea. You can't do shit like this no more." Wiz said as he opened my door for me.

"It's okay Wiz, I think I can get used to this." I smiled and waved at the ladies. They screeched and jumped in excitement.

"Oh, it's gone get worse. This is nothing." He shut my door and hopped into the driver's seat. "Just watch when you get too famous to live in privacy. People peeping through your window thirsty for the perfect photo or video. Don't get me started on the things you think that are normal now that WILL be dangerous for you to do."

"Yeah, like not paying attention to your surroundings."

"What the FUCK? Vinnie!" I shouted at his grand appearance from the back row. "How long you been back there?" I said in between breaths.

"The fact that you don't know is the problem." Vinnie said as he climbed next to me in the front row.

"Exactly." Wiz said.

"You should always make sure your doors are locked. And ALWAYS check your trunk and backseat." Vinnie said.

"Well, I guess that's a lesson learned, " I said.

"Hi, Caly." Vinnie finally greeted me properly with a smile.

"Hi, Vinnie." I smiled back. He pulled me into a hug. "How you been?"

"Shit, the real question is: how you been?"

"Oh, you just don't wanna know..." I laughed nervously.

"Actually, I do." He grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes. "You know we have to talk about the elephant in the room."

"Mmm.." I pressed my lips together and nodded slowly. "I don't think that's a good Idea."

"I bet you don't," He pulled some money out of his pocket and handed it to Wiz. Wiz then closed the divider and dropped the shades on all the windows. "But I can be persuasive."

"Vinnie..."

"Shhh..." He positioned himself between legs and pulled my thighs around his waist. "Just tell me to stop and I will." Ever since Vinnie learned how to press my buttons, he's taken it as far as he could go. I haven't seen him since I left for Ohio, but we had kept in touch. I must admit that our texts were something I prayed Slim didn't get ahold of. Shit, or anyone for that matter. It started with a group chat that Bria added us to. Then, it became our dirty little secret.

"You know I want this," I said in between kisses. "But we can't do this..."

"Just say no," he said as his fingers slipped their way into my panties. "And I'll stop." He licked his lips as he rubbed my clitoris. "Mmm... You like that. Don't you?"

"Uhh..." I moaned as his fingers slowly entered me. The look of pleasure in his eyes as he thrusted his fingers in and out only made it harder for me to contest. "Fuckk.." I moaned as my eyes rolled back.

"Just say it." He whispered in a raspy tone. It wasn't long before pressure built up in my body as I began to sweat. I latched on tight to his arms as a bursting orgasm released my body.

"I can't believe-"

"Like, I said. I can be persuasive." He licked my juices off his fingers and winked. He returned to his seat, and I joined him. Panting and relaxing, I lay against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. "Now, you have to talk to me."

"Well, I see Bria hasn't told you about me."

"That's what I'm here for. I wasn't born yesterday. The way you been moving lately is suspicious. I hope that nigga don't got you out here setting niggas up."

"Setting- Boy, do it look like I'm playing for both teams? You do realize what just happened a few minutes ago, right?"

"Uhh, Yeah. That's exactly what it looks like. What me, you, and Bria got going on is one thing. But you fucking with the Opp is just bad for business."

"I'm not really in a position to have a choice right now, Vinnie."

"Well, it looks to me like you made one. All you gotta do is help me understand who side you really on. Cause let Tay tell it, you not fucking with us anymore."

"See, I knew you was finna go there. Why would you even bring him up? I'm not bout to do this." I got up and sat back in my seat.

"I know where he fucked up with you. But one thing he did do was make sure you was protected from the same nigga you laying with right now. That's red flag number one."

"It doesn't matter-"

"It does matter!" he shouted. "You're no longer the victim here. All bullshit aside, I understand you feeling some type of way about allat shit that went down. But, alllat shit went out the fucking window when you left and climbed back in bed with that grimy mothafucka.

Caly, think about how you look for a second. You can't let Tay take the blame for everything, cause it take two to tango. And every single second since that night, shit been getting bad for everybody. Not just you!

Take a look around. Why is it that Slim and his buddies out here following me and my brother around the city? I got niggas dropping left and right. Rodney just tried to strangle Bria last week, and you had no fucking clue. And you think you safe where you at?

You lucky that you alive right now."

"You know what, Vinnie? Since you know everything, how about you tell me what imma do about a nigga being killed in my house and left rotting in my basement? Huh? Tell me what to do if they find his body, whatever Rodney did with it, and they find my DNA on him?

You know what else they're going to find out? That he was hit in the head with a lava lamp. Do you know who hit him with that object? Take a fucking guess. Let me help you. It wasn't me, and Rodney & Slim weren't there when it happened." I leaned in closer, gripping Vinnie's sweater and pulling him towards me.

"This wasn't anybody random, this was somebody close to me and Slim. His baby momma knows he was there and if she reports him missing, it's over for me. I can't cry and boohoo about shit because I'm conflicted. I know what happened and I know how I will look when the truth gets out.

One thing I know for sure won't be the story is that he raped me. They're going to think I set him up and that Bria helped me do it. How's that for playing the victim? Vinnie, I don't know what the fuck to do... I'm scared." I fought the tears that flooded my eyes. Vinnie wrapped me in his arms and took a deep breath.

"Caly, I need you to listen to me when I say this. The shit Slim got you pulling these last few weeks ain't to protect you. You will end up taking the fall for everything if you don't end up dead first."

"There's nothing anybody can do to protect me. I'm just trying to live my life to the fullest until shit hits the fan. The clock is ticking and I'm just waiting for my time to come. I appreciate y'all caring about me. But please save yourselves while you can."

"I don't think you understand what us Banks Brothers are really about. We go to war for our family. And you, Caly, you family now. You hear me?" He grabbed my face and wiped my tears as I nodded. "We not finna just abandon you, baby girl. Whether you believe it or not, you got a whole army behind you. Let us fight with you. Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded again. "Thank you, Vinnie."

"I told you, I got you. This shit for life."

I had some shit weighing heavy on my heart. I didn't appreciate the space I was in. Being with Slim wasn't feeling right, and being so far away from Durk put a strain on my soul the longer we were apart. I acknowledge the pain, internally. But on the outside?

"Man.. Fuck him." I said to myself. I continued to lurk through Durk's Instagram. Scrolling through his pictures, I came across a photo of him and Royale. Ugh, he made me sick to my stomach. I hated him! I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes as I watched a video of him proposing to his her. "I still can't believe you didn't tell me about this, Bria."

"Caly, gimme yo damn phone!" Bria said as she snatched my phone. She logged me off of Instagram and shoved it in her pocket. "Stay yo ass off his page and making yourself feel bad. Okay? Baby, you made a choice. Now, It's time to live with the consequences of yo actions."

"Aye, don't start na."

"Nahhh, You started with me." She said with a laugh. She plopped on the couch next to me.

"I told you why I'm doing this." I looked at her. She caressed my cheek and made a pout.

"Oh, You're so cute when you're delusional, baby." She said,

"Woooow. Delusional?" I raised my eyebrows. She let out a giggle before she leaned in and placed a kiss on my nose.

"I'm saying this because I love you." She climbed onto my lap, directing my hands on her waist. She grabbed my face and stared me in the eyes. "Whatever plan Slim has brainwashed you into thinking you have, it doesn't exist. You and I both know the only person he's ever looked out for was himself. You know better. I'll be damned if I lose you because you ended up in prison because of him. Or worse..."

"Hey, don't say that..." I kissed her lips softly. "I may be dancing with the devil, but I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." She brushed her lips against my neck, tracing kisses to my earlobe. Once her tongue touched my ear, footsteps neared the front door that indicated Slim was home. Bria climbed off my lap and repositioned herself as keys jiggled in the doorknob. "He always knows how to ruin a party."

"Hush." I whispered as I nudged her. As Slim entered the house, I ignored his presence and started a more appropriate conversation with Bria. "So, are you going to the party on Friday?"

"Yess, Vinnie said I can be his plus one." She said in excitement. "Do you know what you're gonna wear?"

"Slim picked out the dress he wanted me to wear. We're going to match." I shrugged.

"Mm." Bria rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Well, Saturday I'll be going to pick my stuff up from my apartment in Ohio."

"Oh really? Do you want me to help?" Bria nodded her head and glanced at the shadow of Slim eaves dropping from the hallway.

"Nah, I got the u haul and boxes lined up. I can take what I need and the rest I can hire some movers to put in storage," she said.

"Call me when you make it there and whenever you're on your way back. I want to know you're getting around safely." I said.

The most humbling experience is being in an environment that was once unattainable to you. It's like being given a key to a door that you've been using everything in your toolbox to bust open. The less fortunate woman that I used to be appreciated the moments I got the opportunity to experience. So when P-Diddy and Jay-Z invited us to their adult prom party, of course I was excited to attend.

Slim and I had a limo escort us to the event. Slim chose a white silk gown for me to match his white silk suit. I told him that I wanted to wear something more my speed, but he insisted that the dress he chose was perfect for my image. Whatever that meant.

I couldn't help but feel funny about not being able to ride with Bria and the gang. I can only imagine the fun they were having without me. While I was hand in hand with a man who was more focused about his image that night, they were probably pre gaming and having the time of their lives. I envied their freedom. I wished for that luxury.

The limo came to a stop and the driver rushed around to open our door. Our ride had been silent but suddenly, Slim became the man of the hour.

"You look beautiful, baby." He whispered in my ear as he helped me out of the limo. As we were faced with flashing cameras and screaming journalists, my nervousness was on full display. I began to wonder if they knew how I had trouble sleeping at night, or how I cried in the shower just before I got ready. I wondered if they could feel how debilitating it was for me to have to keep a smile on my face when deep down inside, I was unhappy.

As we walked the red carpet, giving the press the show they needed, Slim used me as his trophy. He twirled me around and stole a few kisses. He wrapped me in his arms and let the world know that I was his prize. If I didn't know any better, I would think we were in love.

Once we made it to the entrance, we stopped for one last pose. The attention shifted to another vehicle pulling up, in which Vinnie hopped out first. Girl, when I tell you man is a different type of fine. His juicy lips, muscular build, and long locks did something to me. I would catch myself drooling at times just thinking about the things I would do to him. Again, I blame Bria for unleashing that beast.

The Goddess Bria herself climbed out after him. The slit in her jeweled corset gown revealed her cocoa-colored thighs that glistened in the light. You could only imagine how soft they must've been. While Slim didn't get the memo that no one was paying attention to him anymore, I was starstruck.

Then, another leg extended out of the truck and time began to slow down. Durk... He was wearing an all-black suit with a lavender accent. I was frozen in time. His smile was infectious. His presence was warming and his eyes... were mesmerizing. It wasn't until Slim tugged my arm that I realized Durk and I were staring at each other. My cheeks reddened at Slim's obvious frustration.

"What did I tell you about that?" Slim said. He yanked my arm and pushed me against a wall. "Hmm?" He leaned in and spoke into my ear.

"I'm sorry, I was just-"

"Are you trying to embarrass me right now?" He tightened his grip on my arm. I looked at the ground in shame to avoid the awkward stares.

"No," I said. I shook my head and could see Vinnie and Bria approach in my peripheral vision. I attempted to turn so I could hide, but Slim's grip was too strong.

"You gone make me-"

"Wassup, y'all good?" Vinnie interrupted as he walked up with Bria on his arm.

"Yeah," Slim said as he gave me a stern look. His grip loosened and I was able to snatch my arm away.

"Hey y'all." I greeted them and Bria pulled me into a hug. By the clenched jaw under that look on Vinnie's face, I knew he was worked up.

The night went well after we got some drinks in our system. Slim was on the line up to perform, so he disappeared after a while to mingle with the "who's who" in the crowd before his performance. I spent my time in awe with all the celebs that showed up and approached me to show love. There were moments where Durk and I crossed paths, but we never were able to get closer than 6 feet to each other. He also disappeared, although Royale remained. I found it quite odd that her and G Herbo were having a very intense conversation most of the night.

"Bitch ass nigga." Vinnie mumbled as he watched Slim climb onto the platform. I nudged him in the arm and gave him a look. The crowd tuned in as Slim began his performance and others started to migrate to the platform. With all the chaos of people moving in one direction and others staying stationary, people were getting bumped left and right.

"Ooh, shit!" Bria said when bumped. She rocked forward and, to catch her, I reached for her. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't paying attention to the fact that she had a half full glass of wine. Dark Red wine splashed a purplish hue on the front of my white silk dress.

"Briaaaa..." I let out a gasp. Embarrassed, I rushed towards the exit but was grabbed by Vinnie.

"I can take care of that." He said.

"Yeah, I have another dress you can change into." Bria said as she grabbed my other arm. While Slim performed and everyone else was focused on him, no one noticed us traveling into another part of the building. We walked down a long hall and then stopped.

"Right here." Vinnie said.

"What?" I looked around at the empty hallway and next thing I knew, I was being shoved through a door and locked inside. I lost my balance and before I could fall to the ground I was caught. By a familiar touch, a familiar smell, and was met with a familiar face. "Tay?"

"I'm sorry, London. I asked them to do it." He said as he helped me back on my feet.

"Why? Now my dress is ruined and I'm gonna be all sticky-" I lost my entire train of thought the moment my eyes laid on the fluffiest lavender tulle dress that I have ever seen.

"Will this help? I have wet wipes for the wine that got on your skin." I slowly walked toward the back of the room that had been lit by candles.

"How did you get permission to do this? Tay this is insane." The aroma of lavender grew the closer I became. There were little lavender flower petals everywhere. I found myself tearing up, the amount of peace I felt was too overwhelming. "You're going to have trouble cleaning this up."

"I know, I have help." He said with a chuckle. He handed me the wet wipes and a suited man walked in with a cart. He set two covered trays, a wine bottle sitting in a bucket of ice, and two wine glasses on the table. "Thank you." He said to the man as he tipped him. The man left and locked the door from the outside.

"Tay, what is all of this?" I bit my bottom lip to keep my tears at bay, the look in his eyes felt so loving and genuine. I forgot how much I hated him for a moment.

"Well, I asked the chef to surprise me with something for a very special night and a very special person. Candles and flowers were Vinnie and Bria's idea, and the wine was Wiz's." He put his hands in his pockets and gave me a look of helplessness. "I needed a fighting chance to get you alone, so I asked for help. You are free to leave whenever you like. I know you're on a time limit, so-"

"If it was your idea to just talk, then who's Idea was the dress?" I said as I rubbed my hands across the fabric. I gave it a smell and my nostrils filled with a familiar smell.

"Mine." He said softly. "Every stitch, every piece of fabric, and the design were made from these hands. For you."

"Oh, Tay..." I said as I grabbed my cheeks. I couldn't hold my tears anymore and suddenly couldn't remember how to breathe correctly. "I'm at a loss for words. There's no amount of money I could pay you, that'll be the value of this. Just take my soul at this point."

"That's all I ask for." He leaned down and kissed my shoulder as he unzipped the back of my dress. "This isn't the apology, though. This dress represents how much you mean to me. I spent sleepless nights on this piece right here."

"If that's true, that would mean you care a lot about me. And I doubt that's even possible that you..." I rambled on and on as I stepped out of my heels, removed my silk dress, and wiped my chest aggressively as I fell into another crying spell. There was no way I was going to believe a man had that much care for me in his heart.

"London," He said.

"What?" I said as I used a wipe to take off my already ruined makeup. "I've been violated, beaten, ridiculed, mocked, and harassed. I'm damaged goods that's never good enough for anybody. I use sex to cope with my trauma and yet I'm still fucked up in the head about the shit that has happened to me. There is nothing about me to care for-" As I continued to ramble and pour my heart out, Durk helped me into the dress he made for me and helped me into my heels.

"London," he said, again. He turned my body towards the mirror on the wall behind us. I looked and I felt like a princess. The dress screamed ME. Every part fit like a glove and not a stitch was out of place. "I love you. You are my muse, my inspiration, my motivation, and you are the other half to my soul. I feel connected to you in a way that is indescribable, yet undeniable. I am incomplete without you, London. I need you and I want you. Flaws and all."

"Did you just say-" I turned around to find his eyes and hear him say those sweet words one more time.

"I love you." He smiled and rubbed his nose against mine.

"I love you too," I whispered. Then, reality hit me. I was never supposed to love him, let alone him loving me. That was forbidden. Nothing good could come of it. It just couldn't be. I took a deep breath and shook the loving thoughts out of my mind.

"What's wrong?" He lifted my chin with his finger to stare into my eyes. Possibly to read my thoughts. "I'm sorry for not protecting you the way I should have. I was being selfish and trying to control you, when I should've taken accountability for my actions. You deserve a man who isn't ashamed of you... you're worthy of true love. I'd like to give that to you, London."

"We can't do this, Tay. It's too dangerous. I don't want-"

"Aye, Caly you gotta go. Like, Right now!" Wiz said as he opened the door. Vinnie and Bria rushed inside with frantic looks on their faces.

"We just need a couple more minutes," Durk said. Vinnie grabbed my arm as he shook his head.

"Bro, she gotta leave now. Royale is coming this way from the other side with a whole camera crew." Vinnie said.

"Yes, & Slim is getting suspicious now. So, it's time to wrap it up." Bria said.

"Wait, can I just-"

"NO!" Vinnie and Bria shouted.

"Aye, just give us like ten more seconds. Just ten. Please." Durk said.

"You don't even have that but gone head." Vinnie said as he let go of my arm. Durk lifted me up, placed my legs around his waist and pinned me against the wall.

"I'll risk anything and everything for you." He whispered before he crashed his lips against mine. Our tongues danced as sparks were flying. A rush that felt like magic ran through my body and I accepted the euphoria. Ten seconds was way too soon, but I was grateful for that. Watching Durk still standing in that room as he waited to be exposed granted my trust in him. He surrendered peacefully and allowed me to leave with a smile on his face.

"I knew you was gone fold." Bria nudged me as we sprinted through the hall. I rolled my eyes and Vinnie chuckled.

"She had me fooled, I ain't think she had any give left in her." Vinnie said.

"Y'all just don't know what he be doing to me..." I said. Then we walked back into the room where I saw my reality standing across the room. "The fucked up part about it is I that I can't have what I want..." I dreaded walking back to Slim. I let out a sigh of grief. Bria gave me a sympathetic rub on my shoulder before we parted ways.

"Take care," Vinnie nodded. I blew them both a kiss goodbye. Bria caught it and they both held onto their hearts. Such a bittersweet moment. Oh, how I'd give my life to go back in time and live there forever.

When our night ended, Slim and I were back home. He didn't talk much, and I figured he was confused about my dress. I wasn't going to tell him if he didn't ask, so we sat there in silence for a while. One by one, he removed his jewelry. He took his time removing his shirt, while stealing glances at me.

That handmade dress of mine, I didn't want to take it off. I would've slept in it if I could. I was brave to come home alone with him in that dress. Or anything different from when I left that house a few hours ago. I took off my heels and tried to leave the room but Slim was leaning in the doorway. His arms were crossed and his gaze shook me to my core.

"I try my best not to make a scene in public." He said. "Yet you always find a way to embarrass me." I sat back down on the mattress. My head was low and my mind was racing. I heard his footsteps close in on me. Then, I got an instant headache from blunt force. "I'm sick and tired of having to tell you to take me seriously. So, here's what imma do." He pulled out a gun from his back and held it against my head.

"Please don't." he pressed my temple. He ran his nose across the dress. Giving me the trembles. He looked up at me with so much hate.. But pain.

"The next time I smell this cologne on you, I'm killing you and him." He tucked the gun away, lifted up my dress, spread my legs. He trailed his nose along my inner thigh.

"I didn't-"

"Then why do I smell him all over you?!" He snatched the gun out and pulled the trigger so close to my head, he grazed my ear. Dazed, deaf, and confused I sat there frozen in time. My neck began to feel wet, so I wiped it with my hand. My heart beat me into panic mode when I saw blood painted across my hand. I looked down at my dress to see blood dripping all over it.

"My dress.. What did you do?" I stumbled to the door through watery eyes. I needed to just get as far away as possible. My head started to spin, so was my world. With every step I became dizzier. I reached for a wall to lean on, but once my vision blurred, I was going down. Then, everything went black.

The flash of a light forced my eyes open. They scanned around only to detect 5 men hovering over me. My thoughts were scrambled and everything moved in slow motion. A numbness consumed my entire body. Placing my hand over my ear, I could feel the bandage. I rubbed the stained lavender tulle, examining the new rips and tears. Like, what did they do to me?

"It should wear off by tonight, don't let her leave this house or call nobody..." Rodney said. "If I was you, I would've killed this bitch. You gone learn, ma nigga." My hearing in my injured ear was going in and out. I had a lingering ringing.

Then, everything went black, again.

"Can I at least go get the mail?" I said. As I stared out the window of our living room, a woman jogs by with her small dog on a leash. I bit my bottom lip with envy. Oh, how much I'd kill to be her.

"For what? I'll get it." Slim said as he closed the blinds. "Why you all up in the window? Back up." I flinched every time he moved his arms near my face. In one swift motion, I stepped out of his way.

"It's been three days. I need to get out of this house."

"You don't need to do anything but what I tell you to do."

"We can't miss Mona's dinner-"

"Her dinner is tomorrow. You lucky I'm letting you go to that."

Taking a deep breath, I walked to the couch with my head low. I readjusted the headband that covered my ears. I never liked headbands, they hurt so bad. My fingers grabbed the remote to my only source of entertainment. A sigh escaped my lips as I scroll through movies I was in no mood to watch.

Instead, I zoned out. Imagining Bria's big brown eyes, blinding smile and infectious laughter. That she'd be standing in front of me begging me to dance with her to our favorite song. She was corny like that. Or maybe telling me some crazy story from her job that I think she'd embellished a little to get a laugh out of me. She always got that laugh out of me. My best friend was my fantasy, she was my biggest not-so-secretive secret. The welling of my eyes brought me out of my daydream. Not being able to talk to her, see, and feel her had my stomach tied in knots.

Then there's Vinnie. His voice alone could weaken my knees. Those soft, juicy lips and warm veiny arms could make me melt like butter. Don't get me started on his hands. Unless you like talking about waterfalls.

Snapping back into reality, I swallowed the extra saliva in my mouth before pressing my teeth into my bottom lip.

"So, you just gone sit there?" I jumped at the sound of his voice and began scrolling again.

"I can't find anything to watch."

"Then find something more productive to do other than blank staring at the TV."

So, I did.

As I wiped counters, swept floors, organized my pantry, and sorted dirty clothes in my basement, my mind was consumed by the only thing that could get me through this time of confusion.

Durk. Sensual, charismatic, patient, gentle, and wholesome. He's the Alpha to my Omega. Our connection felt so electric as if we were hardwired for each other. I may have been doing random chores, but I was also living my life with my man in my imagination. Riding around the country in an RV with the love of my life. Going on adventures with him by my side, I was complete. Not even my imagination could fathom how much I yearned for his touch. The smell of his cologne whenever he wrapped his arms around me. If he knocked on my door right then, I'd jump in his arms. Risking both of our lives... Just like he said he'd do for me.

Although a happy fantasy can get you through hours of brainless activities to pass time, shit gets real when realization kicks in. By the end of the night I was so filled with dread I couldn't do anything but sulk. In the shower, I wished for tomorrow as the water washed my sorrow away. In bed, I prayed that my living nightmare would be over soon. During non-consensual sex, I imagined Durk was the one inside me. Reminiscing about the night we made love and I gave my soul to him.

Ironically, these thoughts shifted something I hated into a pleasurable moment. What was once a loud silence with faint grunts became loud moans and panting. I could feel Durk inside of me, thrusting in and out. The more I spread my thighs, the tighter his grip, the deeper he got, the harder I moaned for Durk. I couldn't get enough of him.

"Oh, Tay, Yesss.." Tears rushed down my face as I came. I rolled over onto my side and curled up. How pathetic of me..

I creep towards the front door with a crockpot in my hands. The aroma filled the air around me. Each step that made me closer to the house , raised my heart beat. What to expect of tonight?
"Hi, Caly. Come on in." Mona smiled and gestured to me at the dining room table. "You can set that right here."

"Thank you, Mona. You have a beautiful home." Slim said. He grabbed my arm, pulling me into the seat next to him.

"Thank you, it's nice to see you guys together." Slim grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I stretched my lips and raised my eyebrows with a nod. He kissed my hand and Mona ate that shit right up.

About an hour passed before people really started to show up. Every time the doorbell rang, I'd jump out of my skin. Slim gave me a nudge to calm down, but I couldn't stop replaying the horrid moment in my head.

"That must be the man of the hour." Mona said before getting up and opening the door for her new guests. In walked Bria, Vinnie, Royale and Durk. Mona greeted everyone but gave Durk a hug. My body tensed, resisting the urge to get up and scream.

Vinnie's eyes looked right through me and landed on Slim who had the most menacing grin on his face. Bria wouldn't even look at me. Not even a Hi was given. Nor did she sit near me. That pierced my heart and I forgot how to breathe for a moment. With my head low, I could only feel Durk sitting across from me. His shoe rubbed up against my inner calf, sending oxygen right back into my lungs. Too afraid to look him in the eyes, I tapped my toes against his. I let the last tap linger a little longer before retreating back to my shackles.

"Okay, that makes everyone. Thank you all for being here. I'd like to make a toast." Mona said. We all raised our glasses. "To Love, to Hip-Hop, and to Chicago."

"To Chicago." Everyone recited and clinked their glasses across the table. I set my glass back on the table while everyone took a sip of their champagne. Taking a quick look around the table, I see smiles and laughter. I didn't belong there. I should've stayed home.

"Excuse me," I say before attempting to get up out of my seat. Slim squeezed my arm and yanked me back down. The entire room silenced, every eye was on us, slim eyes were on me. I whispered, "I need to use the bathroom."

"Fine, I'll go with you." He snatched me up and pulled me away from the table.

_______________________

This was a long chapter, so I'm posting it in parts. Should be done before Thanksgiving.