DURK

The only words to describe how I was feeling this day, was exhausted. India was back home with us, Royale's temper continued to fluctuate with me and I hadn't spoken to Caly since the party.

"I'll be right back." Royale would say before she left me with India for hours to be with Megan. Yes, Megan. The Hoodrat Entrepreneur.

I was okay when it came to having my daughter, she's got my full attention. Reading baby books and singing nursery rhymes is something I've been used to since my first child. Changing diapers and making bottles is something I've grown accustomed to. But, I get suspicious when Royale starts acting funny. She don't just disappear for hours on end, especially not with Megan. She's always the one to preach that "family is important" bullshit whenever it suits her. Let me leave her with India on the first night back and she will lose her damn mind. She'd be slamming shit you didn't even know had a door to it.

Matter fact, that's why she picked up India literally the night of the party. Had me feeding a bottle to India while directing the cleaning crew, waving guests goodbye. The videographers and paps were loving the image, Royale had the audacity to start cooking dinner when we had a whole cooler full of leftovers from the party. After she got back with India, she disappeared into the room, and came out with a whole new ensemble. Paps were all up her ass with cameras as she pan-fried a steak to perfection with a bonnet, lingerie, and an apron on. Ass, ass, ass, just everywhere. She been hanging out with Megan too damn long.

"Bae, I'm making your favorite!" she shouted from the kitchen. I nodded, giving her a smile. "He's such a great dad." she looked into the camera, forcing the fakest smile. But, they still ate that shit up.

On some real shit, shorty been wildin' since the second I put that ring on her finger. I ain't never seen a personality change that quick. Caly was hurt when I kicked her out of the party, But it would've been an all out brawl if I let Royale do it herself. Trust me, she was willing and able. If you asked me, I resolved an issue before it even started.

In between playing Royale's little game and chasing Caly, I was torn. I couldn't do it anymore, something had to give. And, it looked like it had to be me.

Herb came through just minutes after Royale made it home. His moms was with him and she's who Royale hired as our nanny. The conversation about why we need a nanny after she cried about never wanting to have one during her pregnancy may never happen. But, I can't complain about the help I told her we'd need anyway.

"You rolling?" I said.

"Nah, imma stick around for a min. Help moms get settled in and shit." Herb said.

"Bet, just ask Royale for anything you need. Or, give me a call." I said. "Bae, you good with him being here?"

"Yeah, I got this." She said. Pushing me out the door and giving me a peck on the lips. "Go do you."

"Alright, I love you." I said.

"I love you too." she replied before shutting the door.

I finally had some time alone after the party, and alone with my thoughts I was. For some apparent reason, I always ended up thinking about Caly. And, her attitude. And, her laugh. And, that look in her eyes when she snuggled her face in my hand after we made love.

I wanted her.

I needed her.

But, I was afraid of what the grass looked like on the other side. I heard it wasn't any greener. So, why would I risk everything for something I couldn't even put a name to?

"Who is it?!" Caly yelled from inside the suite. I hesitated to speak, unsure of what to say. She smacked her lips before opening the door without hearing my response. She wasn't happy to see me, her arms were crossed, and she tapped her foot vigorously against the ground. "Looks like we've got company, Vinnie."

Vinnie? Man, I pushed the door open with so much force, it bounced off the wall. Sure enough, Vinnie was lounging on the couch with a bottle of Dusse in hand. He straightened up once we made eye contact, his face was flushed with surprise.

"Wassup, bro." he said with a nod.

"Wassup." Caly continued to stare with her arms crossed, rolling her eyes every chance she got.

"Why are you here? You either sit down and chill with Vinnie or you can go." she said with a roll of her neck as she pointed at the door. I chuckled at how adorable that was. "I don't find shit funny."

"Chill, I'm just here to apologize about last night. You haven't responded to any of my texts or calls."

"Too bad you can't take a hint. You done wasted your time coming here with a weak ass apology." she shrugged.

"You gone let me make it up to you or what? We still on for our date tonight?"

"You must be out of yo damn mind if you think I'm going on a date with you after you pulled the shit you did yesterday. The fuck wrong with you?"

"I didn't have a choice, London."

"You did, and you made one."

"It's not that serious. I was-"

"It's not that serious?" her eyes widened and she nodded slowly. "You know what? Get the fuck out."

"London."

"Do you know how embarrassing it is to be kicked out of your own party?" She said, without a blink of an eye. They glossed over as they stared into my soul. "Or have you watched as the party continued FOR HOURS without you?... Please tell me that you know how it feels to cry, while drunk, in a hotel, ALONE!" she panted and sniffed, wiping her face continuously to hide her tears.

"Vinnie!" I said, startling both her, and him. "Don't you got somewhere to be?" He stood up and grabbed his coat, walking to the door.

"No, Vinnie. You stay, he can go." she said, grabbing onto him.

"It's cool. Just text me, aight?" he said, giving her a hug. After he left, I slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Any more visitors tonight?" I said.

"Oh, fuck you." she smacked her lips.

"Say what you need to say to me, London." I stepped towards her and she sniffed again. Her eyes were getting puffy, probably from all that rubbing she was doing. "Say it."

"I'm tired of crying, this shit is ghetto." she shrugged and wiped her eyes some more. "I'm not even sad anymore, it's the liquor. I hate Dusse."

"You wanna get some rest and I come back tomorrow?"

"No, I'm fine"

"You're not fine."

"Why does it matter?!" She smacked her lips, wailing her arms.

"Because I care!" I stepped closer.

"Why? Huh? What is there for you to care about?" She stepped closer to me. Now, we were less than a foot apart. Just breathing each others air.

"Is there a reason you always question the positive things I say. If I called you a dumb bitch, I wouldn't get no feedback. Is that how you want me to be? Abusive? Huh?!" I mushed my head against hers, causing her to seek refuge against the wall.

She didn't reply. Not yet, at least. Both of us were catching our breath as if we had just ran a marathon. But, it felt more like losing a boxing match. There was pain in her eyes, and she had the lungs to scream out. Deep down, I know I struck a nerve that silenced her. The quiver in her lips and the glossiness in her eyes told a story, a story she had already told me. There I was. The asshole who threw her trauma back into her face just to win an unwinnable argument. I closed my eyes, remembering where I was and who I was talking to. When I exhaled, I was grounded and full of guilt.

"I'm sorry," I said. I stumbled over my next words, but the look on her face was of a wounded spirit who was willing to listen until she felt the threat was gone. It was safe to say, I broke her. And, I didn't like what I saw. "I don't know what to do, London. I don't want to hurt you, that's not my intentions."

"I-" my phone rang, interrupting what she was beginning to say. It was Royale, so I picked up.

"Hey baby, wassup? Everything good?" I answered. Caly scoffed underneath her smile. She walked away to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

"Yeah, just checking in on you. wanted to see if everything was going smooth at the studio." Royale said.

"Baby, you know how i get down in the booth." I chuckled.

"I know that's right. Well, you have fun okay?"

"Alright, I'll see you when I get home."

"Good morning! Good morning!" the radio host started the show. "Thank you for tuning into Chicago Radio. I'm ya host, Dougie Doug, and we are about to get into our exclusive segment. I have our guests, Lil Durk and Caly Michigan with me today."

"Wassup, wassup" I said.

"Good morning, Happy to be here" Caly smiled.

"Glad to have you," he said. "Before we get into the interview, I wanna let some callers get the chance to ask their own questions. Just dial: five, five, five. Three, seven, five, six."

It wasn't long before we had our first caller, she was a woman from the southside. And, she asked a question that I'm sure the radio host knew he wasn't allowed to ask. Who takes callers before the interview, anyway?

"Durk, I been a fan of yours since Dis Ain't What You Want." she said.

"Aww, That's wassup. I appreciate the love."

"Yeah, I know you gets around, but Royale was supposed to be the one. I think you owe your OG fans the truth when I ask if you really cheated on her with this new girl."

"Wow.." Caly said.

"Well to my OG fans, like Tanya from the soufside call y'all, I definitely didn't cheat on my fiance at any point in our relationship. Especially, not with Caly."

"That's what we like to hear. My man said he walking the righteous path." Dougie Doug said. "Okay, next caller."

"Hi, I'm Reonna. My question is for Caly."

"Hey, Reonna. Hit me with it!"

"Fuck, Marry, Kill: Durk, King Vinnie, & Your ex."

"Oh, y'all chose violence this morning, huh?" Caly laughed nervously.

"It's a hypothetical, we won't judge." Reonna said.

"Uhh.. Damn, this is hard." Caly sucked her teeth and her cheeks got red. "Kill my ex, for sure."

"Why is that?" Doug said.

"Because he's my ex for a reason." she said. "I guess I'm fucking Vinnie and marrying Durk."

"Y'all heard that? Looks like Royale's got some competition." Doug said. "Okay, let's get into this interview. I know y'all are very busy and got places to be."

"Take your time," Caly said.

"Everyone is excited about OTF signing it's new member, Caly. But they were shocked to see that she is the label's first female artist. Caly, tell us what's it like to be in this position."

"Honestly, It's exciting. Everyone wants a piece of me now and curious about what I can bring to the table that hasn't been brought before."

"Are your label mates getting jealous about the special treatment?"

"Nah, I get along quite well with them, actually. It's not the men I have to worry about when it comes to Jealousy."

"Ouch, Durk how has this affected your relationship?"

"My relationship is fine." I said.

"In her interview with VladTv the other day, Royale said Caly was signed to meet a quota. What did she mean by that?"

"She mentioned my name in an interview? That's funny." Caly said.

"We wanna know, Is there beef between you and Royale, yes or no?"

"Ion got beef with nobody, I'm enjoying life and minding my business." she said.

"Be honest, she said some heavy shit about you. You ain't checked her yet?"

"No one will be checking anybody." I said. "We gone let that be known, right now. Regardless of what my fiance said and done, she's off limits."

"I don't keep tabs on her, anyway. I haven't heard whats been said about me." she said.

"That's cause, it's not important." I said.

"Durk, when's the wedding?"

"The date hasn't been decided but we want to have it sooner than later."

"So, like three to six months?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Word, congratulations."

The interview went on for about another hour. Each question being just as messy as the last one. Caly did her best with what she was allowed to answer, but they showed no mercy on her. Doug implied she was a hoe looking for clout so many times, I had to stop the interview.

When Royale's interview with VladTV went public, I made it my job to keep it away from Caly. I have no Idea why she thinks it's okay to provoke a woman who isn't a threat. Caly may have promised to not feed into the drama, but I can't stop a grown woman from defending herself.

"I ain't saying no names, but bitches think they can't be touched just cause a nigga vouching for em." Royale said. "The minute they close they legs, its wraps. He coming back home, and laying up with a bitch that's wifey material. These bitches are temporary and no different than a pet. We not cut from the same cloth, I was raised to have morals and respect for myself."

No, I didn't confront her about what she said. Because, I know why she said it. Ain't no pretending that there wasn't an elephant in the room that needed to be addressed. She was poking a sleeping bear, and I had to figure out what to do before it woke up.

ROYALE

"Hey, Ms. Wright. How you doing?" I greeted my new Nanny.

"I'm good, sweetheart. How about yourself?" she said as she entered my home. Herb was right behind her. He leaned in the doorway, with a grin on his face.

"I'm good, India's in the nursery. I'd check her diaper." I said. "And, how are you?"

"I'm better, now that I'm here." Herb said, pulling me into a hug and grabbing him a lil ass. "You ready?"

"Yeah," I said with a smile.

We drove to the studio, where it was packed. Vinnie, Megan, Shawn, Durk, Bibby, Dreezy, and Sasha Go Hard were there. Durk got them to do a Cypher where all their freestyles will be included on one track using the same beat.

I had only been there for 15 minutes and I was already enjoying myself. The energy was chill, everyone was vibing. Blunts and bottles were getting passed around, and the playback repeated the verse that had just been laid down by Dreezy.

"That was fire," Durk said. Dreezy cheesed as she plopped in the seat across from me.

Sasha congratulated me on the engagement, sparking others attention. Herb migrated to the other side of the room, chatting it up with the engineer. Dreezy was swooning over my ring like she wasn't rocking a $250,000 chain around her neck. I was loud and proud about the subject, flashing my ring in the air and screeching like a child.

"Girl, you know he had to gimme a rock. Cause, I am his rock. Okay?" I said.

"I know that's right." Sasha said.

"Durk finally growing up and doing big boy shit." Shawn said.

"He just a lil slow, that's all." I laughed.

"I betta be yo maid of honor." Megan said.

"Bitch, you already know what time it is!" I said nodding in her direction.

"Durk, who's gone be your Best Man?" Dreezy asked.

"Ion know yet." he shrugged. "Probably, Herb."

"Herb?!" Megan said. She laughed uncontrollably. I nudged her to get her to stop, but Durk had already given her the look of disgust.

"What's funny?" He said. Just in the nick of time, there was a knock at the door. "Come in!" he directed. As soon as I was beginning to feel relief for dodging that bullet, my blood started boiling to see Caly's bimbo ass walk into the studio.

"Heyy.." she said softly, clearly nervous as she scoped out the room. I rolled my eyes at the sight of her, her presence was parasitic.

"Wassup, you ready to hop in the booth?" Durk said, opening the door for her.

The engineer played the beat, recording her vocals. All it took was the first syllable of the first word in her verse to put Durk into a trance. He stood next to the engineer, staring directly at Caly through the glass as she performed.

"Shit get quiet when I open my mouth.

I been silent, so these goofies out here running it wild.

Don't get it twisted, cause you see me you think you figured me out?

Give me the strap, and then I'll tell you what the fuck I am bout.

Cut the gossip!" She rapped. Everyone were reeled in by the dramatics. The smile on Durks face grew wider as he nodded his head.

"Talk yo shit, girl!" Sasha said.

"Tell ya wifey , I don't play them games. Dead that.

She wanna rock? I'll turn that bitch into a door mat.

Have her walking round like Cynthia, RUGRAT.

Pass her round since she wanna be a hoodrat."

"Bruh." Vinnie said. Durk stopped bobbing his head as his eyes widened. I leaned forward to somehow hear better, since everyone else looked shocked about her mediocre as lyrics.

"Since I'm a secret, tell him keep it.

But, I kept it. No Plan B.

He wanna eat it, let him eat it.

When wifey calls, I let him be.."

"Hold the fuck up!" Dreezy shouted in amusement. The room went crazy, with me, Megan, and Shawn being the exception. Vinnie shook Durk as he laughed.

"Ain't no way, boy." he said.

"No she didn't think she ate with them lame ass bars and weak ass punchlines." I said.

"Girl.." Megan said. We joined in a laugh, which grew harder as Caly exited the booth.

"Y'all too grown to be on that kid shit, to be real honest." she said.

"Bitch, who the fuck are you talking to?" I said, pausing my laugh.

"Nah, we not bout to do this." Durk said.

"Nah, what we not bout to do is release this Cypher with her verse sounding like that." Shawn said.

"Disrespectfully not." I said.

"Uhh, last time I checked, this was his record, not y'all." she said.

"Why are you even here?" I said.

"The same reason that you are, Durk wanted me here."

"Oh, okay." I said with an obnoxious laugh. "Well, I don't want her here. Tell her to leave."

"Damn, just like that?" Sasha rubbed her forehead.

"Bae, you doing way too much." Durk said.

"TODAY, Durk!" I said. Caly looked at Durk with her head cocked like she had some authority. I crossed my arms, giving him a stare down. He let out a deep breath and escorted her out of the studio. "She got legs, she can see her own way out."

DURK

"London, stop!" I said, reaching for her. "I just wanna talk."

Caly stormed down the hallway, forcing me to chase after her. I just wanted to talk to her alone, I wasn't kicking her out. I learned my lesson the last time.

"London!" I grabbed hold of her arm, facing her mug. "Come on, I'm trying here. Provoking her is only feeding into that nonsense."

"I don't like how you act round her, Tay." she rolled her eyes. "That's not the freestyle I wrote for the cypher. That in there was off the dome cause I was nervous."

"I would sing yo praises for them bars if it didn't shake shit up like that." I said with a chuckle.

"It's cool, she got the hint." she shrugged with a smirk.

"Please, don't let it happen again."

"I'm just playing my part in the game y'all got me playing. How I play it is entirely up to me."

"Can we get married before you start throwing out subliminals?"

"You talking to the wrong woman right now. I was merely defending myself."

"All I ask is you let her be until after I marry her. Y'all can duke it out then."

"See, you act funny for her." she said. "I don't who you are, but you're not who I met in Ohio. You damn sure not the man who wanted me to be here so bad."

"Caly. you good?" Vinnie said as he walked up.

"Yeah, she fine. I got her." I said, pushing him back.

"I'm okay, V. Thank you for checking up on me." she said, smiling at him. "At least somebody cares."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned, bouncing my eyes between the two.

"Just hit me, aight.?" Vinnie said, winking at her.

"Okay," she nodded.

"So, it's like that?" I said, completely baffled by their exchange.

"It's however you want it to be." she shrugged and walked away. While walking, she shouted in the hall to echo. "It's always been what Durk wants! So, you know what? FUCK this!" then she slammed the door behind her.

"Damn, i ain't think she had it in her." Vinnie said.

"Nigga, what?" I checked him, pushing him back.

"D, I'm really getting tired-" he pushed me back. "-of you treating me like some lil nigga."

"I asked you to do one job, LIL NIGGA." I spat. "But you out here doing her?"

"I'm doing what you was supposed to be, say thank you. Bitch!."

Before we knew it, we were in a full blown fist fight. I was angry about the obvious boundary he easily crossed. But, he was really upset. My blows were meant to belittle him, establish my dominance for a woman that no longer wanted me. But, his? Vinnie was hitting me like it was therapy for him.

"You never gave a fuck about me!" he said in-between punches.

Blow after blow, he loss strength until he gave up. All body shots, we weren't niggas off the street. This was my lil brother, and he had so much animosity built up that I never knew he had. He stepped back with tears in his eyes. I pulled him into a tight hug that he tried to escape. His sniffles subsided when he broke down in my arms. I rocked him, trying not to cry myself.

"I'm sorry, Dayvin." I pat his back. "You hear me?" He nodded and I let him go. He wiped his face, as I wiped mine. "You my only brother and I love you. I never want you to forget that."

"You ain't been my brother since you moved outta moms and started making music."

"I was young, and I just had my first son. Vinnie, I didn't have the time to look after you anymore."

"Nigga, you stopped looking after me when dad got locked up. I lost my brother when you moved out."

"Don't say that, every move I made at home was for you."

"Then, where was you when I needed you, huh?"

"I was trying my best-"

"Herb got your best, Royale gets your best. Your music and all these industry mothafuckas get your best. Me? I asked for a brother, you promised me a dad and was no where to be found whenever I needed you. I didn't even know you made music until you went viral."

"I guess signing you to OTF wasn't good enough of an apology?"

"Not even close. I looked up to you, you was my idol. Momma hated that I took the blame for you all the time. She still think I was the one smoking weed in the basement."

"No she don't, I told her it was me once she cried to me about you doing drugs at 12." I chuckled, and her burst into laughter. "I asked her not to say anything to you about it cause that's when I knew you really cared about me. Even til this day, you ain't snitch."

"I thought she'd kick you out, i didn't want you to leave. But, you did anyway.."

"Looking back, I was so caught up in surviving. I wasn't thinking about how you were dealing with the changes. Taking you with me wasn't an option, Vinnie. And, I had to be on my own."

"I just wish you kept the promises you made, man."

"Alright, somethings been bugging you for all these years. What is it?"

"My eighteenth birthday." he said.

"What about it?"

"That's the point, you don't remember. Do you know why?"

"I was locked up."

"Exactly, and what did you promise me?"

"To be there and never forget." I said. he nodded with a long sigh. "I wish I done alot of things in my life differently. Helping momma raise you was one of them. I should've stepped up. But, i was too busy being angry at Dad for not being there for us. That void was never filled, I'm sorry I wasn't man enough to fill it."

"I get it, it wasn't your responsibility." he shrugged. "But yes, it would've been nice."

"Is it too late to pick up the slack now?"

"Nah, I still gotta get married, myself. You know you gone have to pay for it, right?" he chuckled.

"Aye, money ain't a thing no more. We the BIG Banks Brothers now."

"I like that, Imma pull Sasha with that one."

"Yo, you really a fool." I laughed. "How many is enough, my nigga?"

"It's enough of me to go around."

"You need to be on a condom commercial."

Vinnie and I ditched the studio, and went to grab some food before paying our moms a visit. For once in our brotherhood, I felt properly connected. There wasn't that doubt in the back of my mind that things can go south at any time. I was finally sure our bond was unbreakable because there wasn't anymore weak links.

It's a blessing to see my momma's soul finally at peace. Vinnie and I never visited her together unless it was a holiday, so she knew we hadn't been the closest. She raised us to look out for one another in this cruel world, and I wanna honor that. To my brother Dayvin, I'll forever be your keeper.

"I think we should check on Caly." Vinnie said as we hopped in my truck.

"Y'all got a thing going on or something?" I put on my seat belt and pulled off.

"It's not the same as what y'all got, if that's what you're asking. Now, her and Bria? That's another story."

"I don't even wanna know." I shook my head.

"Aye, more for me." He said laughed. "But forreal. If it was my decision, I'd drop everything for Caly. She love you, bro."

"She said that?" I couldn't resist my smile. I hadn't heard those words associated with her yet and it had me thinking different ever since. But, that's what I was afraid of. Loving her..

"She didn't have to."

Knock, after knock, after knock. We banged on Caly's suite. Then, Wiz's. Calls and texts were never returned from either one. What was unusual was not being able to track Wiz's truck. So, I stood in the hall puzzled. While pressing my head against the door to help me think, I noticed a card sticking from underneath the door.

With access to the room, we walked into the suite. I checked the bedroom, empty. I checked the bathroom, empty. I checked in awkward places like the closet and under the bed.. empty. Even the drawers where her clothes were folded neatly were spotless.

"Durk.." Vinnie said. He was reading a letter that he grabbed off the dining table. A stack of money was also stationed there.

"She left?"

"And, she's not coming back.." he said. "Here."

The letter read, "All my life, I've been aching to be seen. Then, you saw me. You made me realized I was capable of feeling something other than fear. For a second, you had me believing I could finally learn what love is. Silly me.

This was fun, one of the best and worse experiences of my life. I don't belong here, never did. So, I'm going back home. I knew you'd protest and convince me to stay in the most charming way. You left me no other option but to end it like this.

You somehow always made me forget that I've been the "other woman" this whole time. I'm worth more than that, and so is Royale. I couldn't blame her for her actions even if I tried. She's right to feel the way she does. You need to be honest with her before you force her into marrying you first.

I wish you all the love and peace in the world. I hope we meet again in another lifetime. But until then, Goodbye Tay. I love you."

Vinnie pulled out a chair for me to sit. I was speechless. My mind was blank other than our unwarranted memories that taunted me. There was a pressure in my chest that made me forget how to breathe.

"Bro, you good?" Vinnie said. I shook my head.

"Nah.." I reread the letter until my vision blurred from the tears I was trying to suppress. But, her last words get me every time.. "I love you."

💭💭💭

Put yourself in Durk's shoes, how would you feel?