Friday 20 days for the Full Moon Festival

Friday was a flurry of activity between Granite Guy and Bathroom guy coming to Lan Zhan’s home with a crew of twenty odd people to renovate their respective rooms.

Wei Ying was having a hard time staying focused and it was doubly hard if Lan Zhan was in the same room. They inevitably started kissing and Wei Ying could not in good conscience say it was just him, because Lan Zhan was just as easily flustered.

There were times that Wei Ying would look up and find himself being gazed at with such longing, the force of it weakened his knees. He knew Lan Zhan was waiting for him, patiently so...since he had not mentioned their future at all...but Wei Ying was feeling simultaneously guilty about the delay on his part.

Something inside him refused to budge on this. It wouldn't let him get past the fact that it was too soon, this whole relationship thing. While it was beautiful and lovely and most of the time he felt as if he was floating around on clouds of fluffy love, surrounded by unicorns and rabbits...there were days when the uncertainty was just as strong.

He wanted to stop thinking about it, really. It was like a constant pressure in his head, and Wei Ying had never done well with the thought of doing something just because he was told to. And marriage...the word was as frightening as could be.

Give him a gun-toting, drugged up, and quite possibly drunk Jiang Cheng any day than thinking about marriage.

He wondered why this irrational fear had taken hold of his mind...was it because he was the fallout of a marriage? Albeit a happy one, because Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren were happily married...it was a marriage of love. But it still had been ripped apart by the arms of Fate.

His experience of people in a marriage did not improve...instead, it got worse. Madam Yu was a woman who was unhappy in a loveless marriage, rather inclined to listen to rumours and gossip mongers than her own husband and their marriage resembled a live volcano.

All the time, hot and fiery, always smoking and occasionally, spewing out burning lava.

Was he scared because of that?

He didn't think so...but he knew Lan Zhan deserved some kind of explanation. Wei Ying was a hundred percent sure that he loved Lan Zhan, wholly and completely.

But what was scaring him was the fact that feelings were never concrete and at worst, transient. He felt as though he was teetering on a knife's edge of uncertainty and this was worse because children were involved.

This was the most happiest, the most settled Wei Ying had seen A-Yuan be; even Uncle Qiren had mentioned in passing how bright and intelligent his son was...and a part of Wei Ying knew that being in a comfortable environment, full of loving people was definitely conducive to that.

And then there was Mo XuanYu...

The poor boy had been through so much already...it was making his head spin.

As Wei Ying stripped off the ghastly citrus wallpaper in the hallway, he was mindlessly working while his brain was trying to make sense of the situation. But the noise all over the house, plus the constantly moving out of the way for the little army currently installing two bathrooms and a toilet, and the kitchen, so it was becoming overwhelming.

Calmly, and before he knew what he was doing, Wei Ying put down the tool in his hand and walked outside. He went into the glass building that Lan Zhan had built, housing the swimming pool. He pressed the button to fog up the glass. He found a quiet place, away from the racket and the chaos in the main house and closed his eyes, sitting in the space under a table.

He felt safe here, even though he was alone. But more importantly, because he couldn’t see anyone outside, and therefore no one could see him, and that made everything better.

Wei Ying curled into a ball and closed his eyes.

He just wanted a little bit of peace.

The shelter of it gave him a comfort that he didn’t feel so exposed.

******************

Lan Zhan was happily wearing his earplugs and painting a ceiling when he was tapped on his shoulder. He was startled enough to drop his brush, and he hastily picked it up with one hand while removing the precious godsent gifts from his ears.

"Mn?" He stared at the young man who had interrupted him.

"We need Mr. Wei to sign off on a delivery." He said, looking around appreciatively.

"He's in the hall." Lan Zhan said, stripping off his gloves.

"Um...no, he's not. In fact, we can't find him anywhere." The youth admitted.

"What?" Lan Zhan stopped, and really looked at him.

Okay, it was a glare.

"So...can you sign off on the goods?" The youth continued, quickly. "It's just we've got places to be..."

"Mn." Lan Zhan followed him outside and sorted out the new arrival of materials, while trying not to panic.

Where was Wei Ying?

What had happened to him?

He would never leave to go out somewhere without telling Lan Zhan...right?

He grabbed his phone and called Dan.

*************

Wei Ying stirred feeling refreshed after that power nap. He hoped it was a power nap, because it was still broad daylight...again that hope was dancing on his thoughts, as he tried to get up.

But he was considerably warmer than before with something soft under his head and at his back. And someone had covered him with a blanket too.

He looked around and opened his eyes fully.

"Why...are...we here...?" He asked, holding his pounding head.

Lan Zhan offered him a glass of cool water and tablets still in their packaging.

"Wei Ying doesn't remember?" Lan Zhan asked him, worry glistening in his beautiful golden eyes.

Wei Ying thought about the last thing he did remember, and chugged down the painkillers.

"I guess...I kind of felt overwhelmed." He admitted.

Lan Zhan didn't say anything, just stayed plastered to his side giving him warmth.

"Lan Zhan...we need to talk." God...he shouldn't have said it like that...

The raw panic in Lan Zhan’s eyes was a shard of ice in Wei Ying's heart and he hurried to reassure him.

"No...no, we're not breaking up!" He insisted, hoisting himself into Lan Zhan’s lap.

Lan Zhan sank lower because there was only so much room height-wise under this desk. He didn't want Wei Ying to hurt himself by banging his head.

"I am sorry." Lan Zhan apologised. It was his fault for jumping to the worst possible scenario and thinking that was what Wei Ying meant.

"Let's not say sorry." Wei Ying meant it now. "Not about silly stuff." He waited until those stunning, captivating golden eyes looked back at him now, the silent concern hiding in their darker depths. "Okay?" Wei Ying said again.

Lan Zhan nodded.

"So...I guess I owe you an explanation." Wei Ying smiled at his widened eyes, the protest dying on his lips as Wei Ying covered his mouth with his hand.

Lan Zhan resorted to shaking his head.

"Please? I just want you know some things...about me. Which...hopefully will make it easier." Wei Ying put his hands on Lan Zhan’s shoulders and slowly leaned forward, placing the warmest kiss on his his forehead. Then he nuzzled closer, tucking his face in the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck.

This is what he needed, Wei Ying mused as he breathed in gently. He didn't want Lan Zhan to think he was being creepy, but he loved the way Lan Zhan smelled so clean, kind of spicy and sweet. It reminded him of temples and incense and secret practices. This sandalwood fragrance immediately calmed him and to his surprise, his voice came out evenly.

"I think I had a panic attack." He admitted.

"How did it start?" Lan Zhan kept his voice level and began rubbing Wei Ying’s back gently.

"A combination of things, mainly I was trying to work out what is stopping me from saying yes to us...actually that's not it. I think it's the word marriage..." He suppressed a shudder. "And I got to a point where the answer was just within reach, I had to dig only a tiny bit more and I would understand it. But then, those workers were making such a lot of noise...I dunno...I just couldn't think any more and I needed to be alone."

"Wei Ying did well." Lan Zhan kissed his hair fondly, but he was thinking about what Wei Ying was dwelling on.

Wei Ying tried not to snort.

"You did." Lan Zhan insisted. "You could tell that you needed solitude and you found it for yourself. In that state, it is commendable."

Moments drifted by yet neither were in any hurry.

"I know it's early days for us and I'm happy to plod along at our own pace...but sometimes I feel as if that's not being fair to you. I want you to know that I love you so much...really I do. And I'm trying to do my best about your proposal too....I just wanted you to know that." Wei Ying told him firmly.

"The word marriage...or something else?" Lan Zhan asked him, as ever going straight to the root of the matter.

"I don't know how to explain because I'm worried that you're going to take the blame...when that is not my intention. At all." Wei Ying emphasised firmly. "I need you to understand that all of what's up here..." He tapped the side of his own head, "it's to do with me, not you."

Lan Zhan nodded solemnly.

"I promise that I will not take it upon myself." He vowed.

"Okay...so hear me out ...please?"

Lan Zhan nodded again. He was determined to make Wei Ying feel better about whatever it was that caused him to have a panic attack.

"My parents loved each other...and that was great because it worked, you know? But it didn't last long....and I was the collateral damage, kind of. And then there was the Jiangs...I'm sure you know about their marriage. I...I was wondering what they were like when they were first introduced to each other...obviously, it was early days for them too and they must have liked each other the teeniest bit to say yes...right?" Wei Ying's fingers played with the black lapel on Lan Zhan’s overalls.

"Maybe...but affection is not necessarily a requirement in an arranged marriage." Lan Zhan offered quietly.

"I suppose you're right. I knew it was an arrangement but...maybe neither had a choice?" Wei Ying reflected. "But my point was...what if their feelings changed? To the point of no return? And then...what about us? You're so sure that you're always going to love me...but what if my feelings changed? What then?"

"Perhaps there are no guarantees. Not in love and not in life." Lan Zhan held him tighter. "And I can assure you, that my feelings are only getting stronger...but in the event that Wei Ying wanted to leave...I would not stop him."

"But see...Lan Zhan, my love, that's exactly my point. What about the children?" Wei Ying suddenly felt exhausted.

"I have a better idea." Lan Zhan said, suddenly.

"What?" Wei Ying mumbled, having already closed his eyes.

"What if we do the opposite of thinking about this problem? What if we do nothing at all?" Lan Zhan was becoming more and more excited.

The usually calm man was changing right before his eyes and Wei Ying was giddy with it.

"I don't get it." Wei Ying muttered. "It's not going to go away if we ignore it, you know."

"Problems are fickle things..." Lan Zhan was saying, refuting his claim. "I'm saying that the more Wei Ying thinks about it, the worse it becomes, right? So how about we forget I proposed entirely and concentrate on being together...that's it. No pressure, no worries. When the time is right ... Wei Ying will know." He said that last part with a deep conviction. "We are worrying about the future and that is not set in stone. Worrying about something that has not happened, may never happen, is tiring and unproductive. We should put it aside."

His voice was firm, stern and full of solid certainty.

It soothed and calmed Wei Ying’s mind, and he realized that that's what he needed the most.

"I think my own inexperience is making me lose confidence in myself. I want to move forward...but I don't know how to do it." He confessed, now bashful.

"We don't have to do anything at all. Wei Ying is putting unnecessary pressure on himself. Why can't we just enjoy this?" Lan Zhan argued.

"But Lan Zhan...I want to give you something...emotionally." He smiled.

Lan Zhan felt the curve of his lips against his own neck and smiled back.

"All I need is Wei Ying. Just by being with me...it is everything I could ever want. I do not like the idea of any kind of pressure...it is abhorrent to me."

After a while, Wei Ying sat up.

"Thank you...for coming to find me, for staying with me, and for telling me that." He leaned forward and kissed Lan Zhan’s lips, just a small thing, smiling when he pouted at the shortness of it.

"We should put thank you with the sorry and not say it for silly stuff." Lan Zhan replied.

"Then how should I thank you?"

"Like this." Lan Zhan tenderly took his face with gentle fingers, and slanted their lips together.

This kiss promised patience and love, excruciatingly slow and soft. The passion was there hidden under a wealth of understanding and compassion, because it was the twin to love and one could not exist without the other. A gentle slide of hot eager lips that vowed to wait, as long as they would share everything, every worry and every good thing, because life was about balance.

Wei Ying kissed him back with mutual adoration, a flower being allowed to bloom at its own pace. A serenity lifted his heart from the depths of feeling inadequate...not enough and the doubts that pestered any relationship. A feeling of wellbeing emerged like a butterfly from the cocoon of love, and his lips began to smile into this tender kiss.

He had finally thought of a way to show Lan Zhan how much he cared.

*************

"So...are you guys coming tonight?" JingYi whispered to Wei Ying, shivering when he glanced up to find icy amber eyes glaring questioningly at him. He moved away at once.

"I don't know." Wei Ying answered, beaming at Lan Zhan suddenly.

They had returned from the swimming pool building and resumed working until five in the late afternoon. Lan Zhan had insisted, arguing that since the bathroom and kitchen plumbing would be completed on Monday, they were ahead of schedule and could afford to leave early. Plus it was only a couple of hours.

Then, just as now, Lan Zhan saw the eagerness in Wei Ying's eyes and knew that he done a good thing by insisting.

Now, Wei Ying bounced over to him, rejuvenated by whatever that annoying driver had said to him.

Lan Zhan glared back at JingYi tenfold, because his gut told him that he wasn't going to like whatever came out next from Wei Ying’s mouth.

Which was a shame because...Wei Ying....

He was sure he loved everything about this wonderful man.

"Can we go singing?" Chirped Wei Ying excitedly, dashing his hopes for a quiet evening in.

And Lan Zhan had to correct himself: he loved everything about Wei Ying...except that.

Now he was openly scowling at JingYi...the little tur-

"So can we?" Wei Ying was looking up at him with such guileless open joy, how could Lan Zhan disappoint him?

"Mn." He replied, not trusting himself to actually give an affirmative, and he patted down his pockets for the reliable if not priceless by now, earplugs.

Two pairs? No problem...he was set for the evening.

"That's fantastic!" JingYi was saying, handing over a card to Wei Ying and pointedly not looking at Lan Zhan. "We're all going to dress up. Meet us here at eight. See you later!" He called, effectively throwing a verbal grenade as he left.

Scurrying away like a cockroach...Lan Zhan thought, thinking about the way his ideal evening had suddenly turned nightmarish.

"Oooh....dressing up..." and then Wei Ying’s face had fallen as they climbed up the steps to the mansion.

"What's wrong?" Lan Zhan asked, mystified at the sudden drop in his mood.

"I don't think I have anything dressy...but that's okay...he'll understand." Wei Ying brightened but it was forced.

"Come with me." Lan Zhan marched them straight upstairs to Wei Ying’s room. He still called it that in his head, even though he spent more time there than his own room, and he smiled satisfactorily at that thought.

He would be happy and content anywhere, so long as Wei Ying was with him.

Wei Ying’s room had wall to ceiling wardrobes and now, Lan Zhan opened all the doors so Wei Ying could see everything properly.

Wei Ying’s mouth dropped open.

One section, the one he blearily opened every day and blindly tugged a garment from was familiar because it contained a few extra overalls and ordinary clothes such as jeans and hoodies and t-shirts. Plus the smaller items like socks and underwear.

He hadn’t even known or thought about the sections on either side...which were overflowing with sparkle and glam. All in his colours too, red and black, sprinkled with a navy so deep, it reminded him of the night sky.

There were velvets, luxurious and soft in rich scarlets and blood red, darker than charcoal and more mysterious than a black hole in space.

There were sheer shirts - did Lan Zhan really expect him to wear those in public?? - made from pleated chiffons and crispy organza. There were lace shirts that were amazingly masculine to look at...

Wei Ying reached in to touch the softest silk shirt, vibrantly crimson and as soft as a butterfly's wing.

He turned to look at a now red-eared Lan Zhan who was probably taking mental notes on what he touched first.

"Where did these come from?" Wei Ying asked in wonder, clearing his throat.

"I like shopping." Lan Zhan looked down, readying himself for whatever Wei Ying’s reaction was going to be.

"You do?" Wei Ying sauntered over to him and looped his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck, smiling at his embarrassment over this hidden addiction. "For how long? Is it a  recently acquired skill? Or do you always go overboard?" But he was smiling broadly.

"Recent."

That was all Lan Zhan was going to say about it.

And it wasn’t his fault...it was Wei Ying.

Whenever Lan Zhan had googled anything, his phone started showing him interesting clothes and he couldn’t help imagining what Wei Ying would look like wearing them. In fact...maybe he had overdone it? Since there was a section that Wei Ying hadn't noticed yet and Lan Zhan was relieved about. Maybe later...

Right now, he was staring into silver eyes full of amusement. That was good. He could work with positive emotions like that. But he pouted anyway.

Wei Ying delighted and laughing, kissed those gorgeous lips eagerly.

"You're so cute, my Lan Zhan..." He sighed into another kiss, this one slower and infinitely sweeter.

"It's our money...I can spend it on whatever I like." Lan Zhan defended himself stubbornly.

"You can...absolutely...but..." Wei Ying kissed his nose, still smiling broadly. "There's too many in there. What were you hoping for, a fashion show?" He laughed when Lan Zhan’s eyes lit up with a golden fire. "Damn...I'm putting notions into your head!"

"When?" Lan Zhan asked eagerly. "Now?" His hands tugged Wei Ying’s shirt out of his trousers.

Wei Ying was about to nod when there was a squeal of excitement and something warm and cuddly attached themselves to his thigh.

"My darling little Radish!" Wei Ying exclaimed, picking A-Yuan up and enthusiastically kissing his chubby cheeks and making him giggle uncontrollably. "A-Yu! Get over here...gosh I've missed you both!" He exclaimed, pulling the teenager into a hug.

"I have news!" Mo XuanYu was saying.

Lan Zhan wrapped an arm around the nervous kid and kissed the top of his head.

Wei Ying marvelled at how much he visibly relaxed after Lan Zhan did that.

"What's up?" Wei Ying asked, smiling encouragingly at him.

"We got this in the post today." He thrust an important looking paper into Lan Zhan’s hands.

Wei Ying shuffled closer so he could read it too.

There was a crest on the letterhead and a very formally written message.

"Oh my god...congratulations!" Wei Ying crowed. "I didn't even know you wanted to go there!"

It was an acceptance letter for an esteemed high school.

"Uncle Qiren said we should wait and not get anyone's hopes up in case they said no. But we completed their tests last week." Mo XuanYu looked so excited.

Wei Ying blinked back happy tears and hugged him with A-Yuan.

"We're so happy for you!! This is really the best news."

"I want to make you proud of me..." the boy said, eyes shining more than normal. "Thank you for taking me in and-"

Lan Zhan enveloped him into a tight hug, not letting him speak.

Even Wei Ying found that for once, his throat felt too thick for him to form words.

They just stood there, all four of them hugging quietly.

Then Lan Zhan, as soon as he was able to, spoke.

"No need. We love you."

And Wei Ying got it, that really, simplicity was best.

***********

A/N

Dear Lovely (Patient) Readers,

This chapter was supposed to be much longer...in fact I promise you, none of this was planned. It was supposed to be karaoke night with JingYi but the characters gagged me and steamrollered me into writing this instead...

I did not want to leave you guys without an update and hopefully we're back on schedule...touch wood...

Have a fabulous day, restful and peaceful sleep if it's nighttime, and I'll see you guys soon.

Charlie.