12 | HEROIN

Within a few days, the hospital released Nicole. And the only person that managed to pick up the phone to come pick her up was Tommy. They were riding over to Nikki's house in the car, when Nicole suddenly asked him about his ex-fiancée, Roxy. "What happened to Roxy, Tommy?" Nicole asked, nonchalantly.

The name infuriated him, he hated the bitch now. "She wouldn't stop calling me mom a cunt. So I kicked her out." Tommy smacked his lips in an annoyed way.

"Good." Nicole huffed.

"Why do you say that?" Tommy turned to look at Nicole.

Nicole knew that Tommy was still clueless as to the fact that Roxy had slept with Nikki and that's what ended her own relationship. Though Tommy had moved on, to a new girl named Heather, she didn't want to be the one to tell him about her infidelity. "No reason." She shrugged.

"You gone to see Vince yet?" Nicole asked him, suggesting that Vince was already locked up and due to go to court soon.

"Yeah, once. He's got a shit ton of stuff to take care of. Especially since his wife is pregnant, too." Tommy sighed, sad for his friend.

Just then, Tommy pulled into Nikki's driveway. He hopped out of the car and helped Nicole out of the car. She used the crutches she was given to head up to the front door with Tommy by her side to make sure she wouldn't fall. "I think I got it from here, Tom. Thank you." She reached for a hug and he gladly accepted it.

"Anytime, Nic. You take care of yourself, alright?" Tommy bobbed his head at her.

She smiled sweetly at him. "You, too, Tommy." She waved him off then entered Nikki's house.

It was utterly silent and the ambiance was very gloomy. All the lights had been dimmed down and she could barely see past a few feet in front of her. "Nikki?" She called out, then made her way down to his bedroom.

There, she found him laying asleep on his large bed. He looked paler than usual and looked as if he had lost at least a few pounds since she last saw him. But she didn't think much of it, she simply thought he was depressed and could recover quickly by returning to making music. She plopped herself on the bed and laid next to him, watching his chest peacefully rise and fall. She noticed a bandana tied to his bicep and a bit of bruising around his inner elbow. She lifted her head and grabbed his arm to analyze it.

She instantly recognized those markings to be needle markings. She knew partially because of the few times she had indulged in heavy drugs, and also because the junkies at the parties she attended, whilst away from Nikki, had the same bruises lining the fold of their arms. "Nikki!" She shouted at him, shaking him aggressively.

Nikki groaned and mumbled curse words under his breath, irritated that he had been awoken so abruptly. "What? What? What do you want, Nic?" Nikki smiled small at the sight of her, glad to see her home.

Her brows were furrowed and her mouth was twisted into a pout that expressed the fact that she was on the verge of crying. "You see me trying to get clean all this fucking time and you go and do this?!" She grabbed him by his collar and lifted him up so that she could yell in his face.

Nikki flinched. She began to feel like she couldn't breathe, anxiety was beginning to take over her body and her eyes tracked all of the corners of the room until they returned to Nikki's eyes. Nikki noticed her worried state, but couldn't react very well due to the fact that he was immensely high. "If you wanted me back, this isn't the way to do it, Nikki." She told, letting go of his shirt collar.

Not even an I'm sorry croaked out of Nikki's mouth. He was on an entirely different planet. And Nicole knew that no one could take him off of it but himself, just as she did when she was scared to die because of the drug. Yet, at the same time, she knew she couldn't just leave him to figure it all out by himself. He'd end up overdosing and nearly dying, or worse... actually dying. She truly felt entirely helpless. She looked down at Nikki who had reclaimed his previous position of laying all sprawled out onto his bed, nearly falling asleep again.

* * *

Four months later, Vince had been out of jail for three months and Nikki's addiction to, what Nicole found out to be, heroin was growing day by day. She'd be home, answering his calls and signing papers for him because he'd disappear after rehearsal at the studio with the boys to who knew where. Nicole never knew exactly where Nikki went, but she could tell, by the state he returned home in, that he had been taking more heroin.

Her leg had healed and she was back to her normal self again, physically. But mentally, Nikki was fucking with her head. He'd come home so fucked up he could barely talk or move. Sometimes, she'd have to carry him home. She wanted to bad to send him to rehab, but she feared that it would drive him away from her. She did love him, and she did forgive him for his faults, but she couldn't just tell him she'd get back with him while he was in such a state.

The few times in those four months that Nikki could talk, even while high, he'd tell her how much he loved her. He'd lay in his bed, as Nicole watched him until he'd fall asleep, recalling all of the memories they shared, how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. "I love you, Nic. You're my home. I'll always come back to you." That was the only thing Nicole was holding onto, his occasional confessions to her. It reminded her that he was still in there, that he wasn't lost to the heroin completely. It was corny, she knew it, but just like drunk folk, high folk were so up in the clouds they only spoke about the positives in their lives.

It was another day at the studio and Tom Zutaut entered the sound booth, where Doc and Nicole were sitting watching the boys wander about in the room, all high on whatever drug of their choice was. "Hey, whats taking so long? Vince got out of jail, like, three months ago. They should be on tour by now." Tom complained.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? Look at them." Doc pointed to the boys, all just shells sitting there to satisfy the record label's desire for them to put in studio hours.

"They're a fucking mess."
"No shit."

"Look, man. My boss is killing me. We need to get them to finish that record and get back on the road." Tom Zutaut muttered to Doc.

"Yeah. I'll get em on tour, but you guys, you think you own them because you own their music, right? Well, then, it's on you and your fucking label if one of those idiots comes back in a body bag." Doc growled back at him.

"Just.. just get them back on the road, alright?" Tom told before leaving the room.

"They're over." Nicole breathed out her words to Doc.

"They just need to get fucking clean." Doc sighed.

Nicole sighed and got up to enter the recording booth, where all the boys were just moping about. They didn't pay her much mind, so she took her time to make it over to the piano. She didn't know much except for what she learned from lessons as a little girl. She began to play a simple, melancholy tune, hoping it'd make the boys inspired. But it did nothing. Vince walked into the room, late as usual, and looked around at his drunken and high band mates. He and Nicole were the only ones sober in that room because they needed to be, not because they wanted to. "Hey, Nic." Vince nodded at her.

"Hey, Vinny. How's Sharise?" Nicole plastered on a faux smile to make it seem she was fine and happy inside. But, her dark under eyes and growing appearance of wrinkles told him otherwise.

"She's fine.. and, uh.." Vince nodded over at Nikki.

Nicole's face dropped. She sighed and turned back to the piano to continue playing. "I got, um, the lyrics. I made a couple of adjustments, but I think you may like them." Nikki walked over and handed Vince some papers. His eyes wandered every where else other than Vince's eyes, the drugs made him skittish and unwanting to make eye contact.

"Home Sweet Home?" Vince asked. Nicole perked her head up. She knew that song. She had found it in a random pile in Nikki's room and thought he had scrapped the song. She knew it was about her, he had been beginning to call her his home after she returned home from the car crash.

"It's been too long, buddy. Here," Nikki turned around to grab a plate of white dust off of the table, "have a bump with me." He chuckled.

"I just got out of fucking jail." Vince seemed like he was about to scream at Nikki, but kept his cool and took decided to take a hit of the drug anyway.

He instantly felt the effect of the drug and hurried over to the nearest trash can to vomit. "The fuck was that?" Vince asked between gags.

"That was smack." Nikki shrugged and chuckled.

Nicole stopped playing the piano, suddenly. She hadn't even seen him take the heroin with him to the studio. "You guys slip me smack, and I'm the fucking problem?!" Vince shouted.

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I'm a monster. I killed Razzle and I hurt Nicole. Could've happened to any one of you!" Vince screamed and stormed out of the room.

"Nice job, Nikki." Mick huffed.