┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓
CHAPTER ONE
i'm not okay
┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

━━━༻❁༺━━━

DAYS TURNED INTO weeks and eventually it turned into two months, nearly three. Now that Piper was no longer in school, she didn't know what to do with herself. Her unofficial job as the manager for 5 Seconds of Summer wasn't an option. That left her with only one reasonable choice: she had to figure out her whole future. Her mother had hoped that she would already know what the next step was, but Piper had to eventually decide on a gap year to get everything together.

At least for now she still has her job at Mr. Weissman's record shop. That was one of the few constants that Piper had these days. Mr. Weissman had curly grey hair and thick rimmed glasses that helped him see only two feet in front of himself, he was old but he was kind enough to hire Piper at 16. Getting this job was the beginning of many things in the past. It was Ashton who trained her when she was hired, forming a unique friendship. It was Piper gushing about his music to the boys who were in desperate need for a drummer for a gig that they needed to play. Piper was the one who convinced Ashton to sit in a rehearsal and give them a chance, even if they couldn't remember the words to their own songs because of how nervous they were.

Now, as she stared at the inky black sky through the window, she reclined in the chair by the register, finally relaxing after finishing up her closing chores. She had the next two days off which she was grateful for. Closing time was approaching and if it wasn't for Mr. Weissman coming downstairs to collect the register, Piper would have accidentally stayed a bit longer than she needed to.

"Piper!" Mr. Weissman greeted as he opened up the register, "Do you have any plans for your weekend?"

"Not really, just hanging around the house," Piper got up as she slung her jacket over her arm, it was December, just a few days past Christmas, but Mr. Weismann keeps it freezing in his shop.

"Alright then," Mr. Weismann balanced the cash drawer on his arm as he closed up, "Well get rested up, and don't forget that you're training the new guy on Monday, set up that new album display with him when he gets in, I want him to know the closing routine."

Piper nodded as she stepped around her boss, heading to the clock out machine, punching her card.

"Okay, Mr. Weissman, have a good weekend, I'll see you Monday," Piper waved the man goodbye before stepping outside.

Piper was lucky to get this job in more ways than one. The shop wasn't so far from her home that she had to take the bus or her mom's car when it was available, and it was fairly close to the city so Mr. Weismann is able to get enough customers to keep the place afloat. The air was slightly cooler than it was when Piper first walked in, but she knew she was still going to work a sweat by the time she was home.

One ear bud in and her jacket over her arm, Piper was immediately walking home. She had a specific playlist that was always queued up for her walks home from work. It kept a pep in her step even if her feet were already aching due to her being on them of most of the day. When Piper first got her job, her mother went and bought her a footbath complete with Epsom salts to help the soreness.

Piper took this time alone to check her messages, seeing that Luke, Calum, and Ashton had sent her different photos. Luke had been sending photos of the food in the hotel and at venues. When the boys had a free night, he would send photos of the food that he got in restaurants. Ashton had been sneaking photos of the crowds and taking photos of his drum, complete with the logo that she helped the boys with. Calum had been sending photos of the scenery in America, the sunsets were gorgeous and some of the cities were huge.

Piper had sent a few texts back to her boys, updating them on The Record Shop and the few classmates that they were friends with outside of the band. There wasn't much other than that for Piper to tell them. It was like life for her had stopped the second they stepped onto the plane.

She had been trying to convince herself for two months that this situation was for the best. That she should find herself a life outside of 5 Seconds of Summer. But how could she imagine a future without her 4 bestfriends? Why couldn't they be in the picture she imagined for her forever? Did it really have to be one or the other?

Muscle memory took Piper home as her thoughts devolved into only thinking of those questions. An exhausted sigh racked her lungs as she walked up the path to her front door.

"Piper!" A familiar voice called out, making the girl look to her left to see her neighbor, Gwen, walking up to her door. Gwen Connelly was one of her closest friends outside of the group that had formed from the band, "Hey, what are you doing for your birthday?"

Piper furrowed her eyebrows at the question. It was an odd way to start a conversation, and she wasn't even sure how her friend even remembered her birthday, they ever really discussed it before. Gwen and her never really got the chance to hang out after school hours, she always found herself too busy with her job, the band and few clubs she was a part of before graduating. Though, now that she only has the job left, it would be nice to be close with someone again.

"Uh, nothing really," Piper almost wanted to tell Gwen about the plans she used to have with the boys, but now that they're on a different continent, it looks like they can't make it, she bit her tongue in order to not make herself look even more like a complete loser.

"Okay, well, I was thinking, I know we never really got the chance to hang out before, but if you want, we can go out to a few pubs for your birthday, I know you're turning 18," Gwen suggested, she looked back at her house and gasped at the wide open front door, "You don't have to give me an answer right now, but let me know in the next couple of days!"

Piper didn't get the chance to say anything else before the brunette ran back for her house. Shaking her head at the odd interaction, she pulled out her keys and opened the door to see her mother halfway down the stairs.

"Hey, sweetheart, how was work?" Rebecca Alexander asked, completing her trip down and meeting her in the small area she liked to call a foyer.

"Boring without Ash," Piper shrugged as she hung her jacket up and took off her shoes, "I just had an odd conversation with Gwen outside, she was asking if I had plans for my birthday."

"I might have let slip to Mrs. Connelly that your trip to the desert with the boys kinda got cancelled by default due to the tour, I'm sure Gwen was just wanting to make sure you had a friend on your birthday."

Piper gave her mother a weak smile as she headed towards her kitchen, she may be turning 18 next week, but she needed a drink tonight. She pulled out two wine glasses and a bottle of red from the fridge, popping the cork and pouring two glasses as she knew her mother was probably on her way down to the kitchen to get one anyways when Piper came home.

"It would be nice to do something, pub hopping sounds fun," Piper shrugged, "when the boys come back, we can go to the desert then."

"Have they been keeping in touch?" Rebecca asked, picking up the glass that Piper didn't hold. She took a sip as she waited.

"Yeah," Piper answered, "Luke, Cal, and Ash have been sending random photos and complaining about annoying people on their flights."

"What about Michael?" Rebecca winked at Piper with the question, she was always convinced that the two had something going on even after Piper tried telling her a hundred times that they were just friends, it didn't matter that she got butterflies from the question.

"I actually don't remember getting a text from him today," Piper frowned, opening up her phone and going to their texts, that's when it hit her.

She had sent a couple "good mornings" and check in's, but Michael hasn't texted her back since before he left. Her heart sank a little when she looked at that. Maybe he was busy with something, but that didn't explain why the others were able to have conversations with her but he couldn't. Rebecca walked over to look at the screen and found that she was now wearing the same frown. Her mothers hand went to her shoulder rubbing it in a comforting manner.

"I'm sure there's a reason, maybe his phone doesn't have an international plan," Rebecca tried.

Piper wanted to tell her how Karen yelled at Michael to call her every night to make good use of the plan she signed him up for. Mrs. Clifford wanted to get her money's worth of the phone. She fought the tears that wanted to form and downed her glass of wine. She fought the wine bottle, recorking it victoriously and put it away.

"I'm tired," She mustered up the words for her mother, "Good night."

"Oh, okay," Rebecca nodded, looking up from her wine, sympathy seemed to ooze out of her, Piper could feel it from across the island in the middle of the room, "You working tomorrow?"

"No." Piper was already walking away, nearly halfway to the staircase.

"Can you take the car and go for groceries tomorrow?"

"Alright, goodnight."

"Goodnight!"

━━━༻❁༺━━━

1.7k words

Hey y'all!

My mind has been hyperfixating on the boys for a few weeks now, you can thank stilestastic for going to a 5sos concert and sending me pics and vids of it. and special shoutout to silentwishing   for doing the same like, a week later (honestly, i think i need to see them myself to complete the cycle but we'll see how my money goes)

I want to thank you all for coming back, I had this published years ago but I found that my writing wasn't where I wanted it to be yet and everything was moving just a tad too fast. Granted, this first half of the book is going to be a bit tough to pace properly bit I'm sure I can manage to do it and do it in a way that wont be boring and slow. thank you all for your patience and previous support for this book, I cant wait to tell Piper's story!

— greta!

(banner made by me!)