its been about five days and i have not come out of my room. ive barley eaten, havent really slept even though thats all ive been doing. i cant get him off my mind. hes all i think about. i deleted every single picture of him and i last night. i took him out of my bio on instagram. i feel.... empty. i always check his profile. he still hasnt taken anything off. it hurts me. it kills me. i havent talked to him since he broke up with me.  my mind keeps racing with all the things that could or may have been the thing that caused him to dump me so sudden. maybe i shouldnt have kept trying to hang out with him.. but who could blame me i never saw him that often. maybe 3 times a month if that. it was rare i saw him besides at school. even then we had different schedules so it was hard. he barley came to youth group because of his mom.

Speaking of his mom, she never liked me. Not even when him and I were friends. I was so nice to her and her kids and her step kids even when I didn't like one of her step daughters sammy because she used to be a friend of mine back in middle school and she was and is a bitch and a back stabber.

Although one of my friends corena is his cousin actually. I called corena the night he broke up with me while I was smoking and drinking. I told her I wouldn't do anything stupid but I lied. I couldn't stop my self from doing the only thing I could think of when I'm In pain like this.

"Jamie are you okay?" My mom said with her heavy Spanish accent.

"Si mama." I sniffeled and turned my head away so she wouldn't see my face.

She walked slowly over to me and sat on my bed.

" tell me what's wrong."

"No."

"I wasnt asking I'm telling you to tell me now."

" I said no."

"Jamie tell me what's wrong now."

"No stop asking or telling me to tell you because I won't!' She only got angrier because I wouldn't let her in my business.

"I did not come to america with you for you to go through this for us to fight all the damn time!"

" no asked you to come to america! If we had stayed in Spain maybe I wouldn't have been dumped by the one person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with!"

" jamie he's only a boy he's younger than you are you can't expect him to be on the same mentality level as you."

"He's a year younger! He's just a tiny bit more childish than me because I didn't get to have a childhood I had to grow up quickly he didn't! and besides all of that we are in college for Christ sakes!" I scoffed and yelled. They always want to pull the age card and always protect him.

" you're more mature than him maybe he couldn't handle it."

" he would talk about things more than I would when it came to kids and marriage!"

She shook her hands in front of her sighing indicating she didn't want to deal with this. She walked out and I followed behind her slamming my door behind her and locked it.

Nothing can ever be blamed on someone else its always my fault somehow.

Running my fingers through my blonde and brown,layered hair and let out a deep breathe I didn't know I was holding.

I went to blow my stuffy nose and readjusted my septum piercing.

My phone buzzed and I saw corena had snapchatted me many times.

She was as worried about me because I hadn't answered and she said Jesse told her I kept posting depressing things on Instagram.

I took a picture of myself and I tries to smile but it wasn't that noticeable. I typed I'm fine and sent it. I then noticed in the camera that my cheeks are a bit sunken in and my face
paler than normal. Probably cause I haven't been eating or been out in almost a week...

A/N TJANK YOU pi-rfect for making me an awesome cover💕