I stand staring at the blood Phil left behind. The blood that stained those Captain America cards was also all over that wall. I can't keep switching thoughts over and over. My heart must stay the same. My heart has always told me so many times that S.H.I.E.L.D was a shit hole I never wanted to come back to. Years ago I was an agent here. Ever since I can remember my parents and I kicked ass. I found out they died because of S.H.I.E.L.D. Then I fell in love with myths and history and science because of S.H.I.E.L.D. It got obsessive after my parents died though. I needed to gather everything I was able to accept their deaths. When I couldn't get so much as a cause I blamed S.H.I.E.L.D for it all. So yes, I knew Agent Hill and Nick Fury well, Phil I met once at their funeral but sadly never knew more. My heart stung at the thought. The anger I had for S.H.I.E.L.D created a hatred for Phil I didn't realize would be regretful. Phil wanted to help people, he truly was a good man. Steve walked in in a rush, he was gathering Natasha and Clint and whomever was left.

"Ma'am, we're all suiting up now for war-"

"Go have the time of your life solider," I avoid looking at his confident and proud stature that I know he's holding, "I want no part of a war I only will be the sacrifice S.H.I.E.L.D needs."

"Izzy we need you. Nick recruited you for a reason. That's not what a team does." Steve tried to convince me, his words gentle but carried his honor with them. He's naive and I think he knows it at least a tiny bit.

"We aren't a team or soldiers. Surprisingly I agree with Tony for once." I tell straightly. Steve grabs me by the arm, his strength coming through efficiently. I wish to pull back but he is really strong.

"Why is it you won't ever let us in, Izzy? You push us away and build up a wall. We see the glimpse of yourself we can get and admire it. Until you cover it with a barrier, unbreakable and untouchable." His voice is quiet but hauntingly honest.

"I can't trust anyone, especially anyone with S.H.I.E.L.D or working with them." I tell, "it's called trust issues."

Steve ignores my snarky explanation, "If you push away the world you'll be left behind. Take it from a Capsicle."

I crack a smile, "you're insanely pushy."

"Well, I'm trying to convince you to trust me." Steve smiles purely, "Can you for at least your Captain?"

I roll my eyes and tilt my head slightly, "Hold on, solider. You're no captain of mine."

"Well ma'am as long as we can trust one another I don't have any complaints." Steve grins as if he's gotten somewhere.

I respond with annoyance, "Ma'am stays in the 40's, call me Izzy."