We don't have any more incidents with Creatures in the following week, but Constance doesn't seem to be getting any better. The interesting this is, she doesn't have a fever. I think Mike and Elf know exactly what's going on, but they're reluctant to tell me.

So when I see Mike in the hallway a week after the attack, I don't hesitate to grab him and slam him against the wall.

"You know what's wrong with Constance, don't you," I snarl.

Mike grins apologetically and looks down to where I've pinned him against the wall. "I...we have an idea as to what's going on, but as it isn't certain, I can't let you know."

I glare at him for a few seconds, then release his shirt. "The second you find out, I want to know," I growl.

"Will do," Mike says, rubbing his chest. "Because I don't want to find out what happens if you find out I kept it from you. Holy crap. I'm...I'm going to just leave you alone, 'cause I don't think you want to be bothered."

I watch him leave before heading upstairs to Constance's room. She's lying on her bed with the blankets pulled up to her waist, reading a book. I wonder where she got it, then decide it isn't my business. So I sit down next her. "Hey," she says, laying the book down on her lap.

"Hey. How're you feeling?" I ask, smoothing the blankets.

"Fine, but he's not letting me do anything," she glowers. "I hate being bedridden. I hate not doing anything!"

"I understand," I say, which is only partly true. I understand that Constance's dislike for being cooped up. But I can't relate to why she hates not doing anything.

She takes a deep breath. "Have you talked to Mike? Because he won't tell me anything."

"I have, and he won't tell me anything until he's sure he's right," I tell her. I decide not to tell her the exact circumstances of our "talk."

"Yeah, he told me the same thing. Elf too. I'm gonna hurt Mike if he doesn't figure things out soon."

"That's a bit harsh," I comment, though at this point, I wouldn't put it past Constance.

"Yeah, well, he'd only have himself to blame for keeping me in the dark," Constance says. "I can't just sit around and not know anything much longer. I want to know what's going on."

"I don't want to be in the dark either, Constance," I say quietly. "But there's nothing we can know. When or if the Creatures will reach us, when the architecture will fail..."

"Stop it!" Constance cries. There's tears slowly leaking down her face now. "I don't want to think about that. Not now, not ever! Because if there's one I don't want to know, it's when we'll die. And we will die, Nate, any day, and that's so terrifying, I can't handle it."

She begins to sob quietly, and I sit down on her bed and wrap an arm around her. She leans against my chest and continues to cry. "I don't want to think about it, either, Constance," I murmur into her hair, "but we all have to face it. Constance, just a minute ago you were going on and on about how you want to know what's going on. What happens when the truth is more terrifying?" 

"Then I'll know what's going on," Constance says. "I'd rather not know that I'm being kept in the dark than know that there's something nobody's telling me."

I don't know what to make of this, so I leave Constance alone. I need to figure out rations. We've made up a new group-defense-in case Creatures do get up here, and not only do I get all of Constance's duties, I also managed to get roped into this new group. Even worse, the guy who has no fighting experience whatsoever (aka me) is the leader of this group. Every one looks up to me as knowing all. I can get us out of here. I can fight off the Creatures. Even needing help putting together a gun has not deterred them from looking up to me. I guess it's nice to know that they have a symbol of hope, but it's depressing that it's me, because a) I can't do anything to get out of this mess and b) I have no one to look up to. And Elf has kind of ruined my view on religion, so I feel pretty hopeless, and if I feel hopeless, we all feel hopeless.

"I don't understand why they look up to me so much," I admit to Elf one day as we wander the halls.

"They're desperate to find hope," Elf says.

"That I get. But why me?"

"Because you, me, and Constance-well, now that Constance is bed-ridden, not so much her-have, in their eyes, taken up the role of leader. You told them about the Creatures. You set up the groups. Constance and I helped. You were the first to get sick, and you survived. I was almost crushed, and guess what? I survived. Constance shot that Creature. That's a hell of a lot more than what the others have done."

"Others have gotten sick and survived. People were also hurt by the ceiling caving in," I point out.

"You were the first to get sick. I was hurt the most. And we survived. And we take charge whenever we have to," Elf explains. "And it's not just us three, it's Mike too, since he has all the medical knowledge and stuff."

I sigh. "I find it ironic that I'm looked up to as a symbol as hope, and it makes me feel helpless."

Elf grins and pats me on the back. "You're not the only one. I need to go back to the med ward. See you around.

"In all of two floors? I daresay you will," I mutter as she almost hits me with her long blonde hair as she turns around as heads back to the stairs.