Dawn Evans

∞

Christmas Day

"Yeah, that's the address," Antonio said, waking me from my sleep. I assumed he was talking on the phone.

When he hung up, I laid in bed, in the same position before he greeted me. "Good morning, bellisima."

I turned around on my back before I sighed, "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"I don't know," I paused. "It's like you always know when I'm listening... or watching."

He shrugged his shoulders before he walked over to me leaving a kiss on my forehead, "Go get ready and meet me downstairs."

I nodded my head and I got up from his bed before walking into his bathroom. I checked his cabinets for spare toothbrushes but found nothing but loads of pills. I figured they were for his PTSD before I finally found a pack of toothbrushes in a drawer under his sink.

I brushed my teeth for about five minutes, just scrubbing back and forth not even realizing how long I've been doing it. Afterward, I rinsed my face before drying it and adding moisturizer.

I took a steaming hot shower, that began feeling warm when it touched my skin for what felt like thirty minutes before getting out. Then I wrapped a towel around my body.

When I realized that I didn't have any clothes here, I opened the bathroom door, headed toward Antonio's closet before I found him sitting on his bed, shirtless. His back facing me. I stood there not sure if I should walk past him with only a towel. Then I began admiring all of the tattoos that ran along his back and all over his arms.

"Done eye raping me?" He asked, not even looking at me.

"See! How did you know I was watching?" I shouted, creeped out that he'd done it once again.

He threw his shirt over his torso before he said, "Chill, Dawn. I heard the door open."

"I didn't hear any door."

"This is my house, I hear every door." He explained before turning to face me. He stood there just looking at me, with nothing but a towel wrapped around my body.

"Done eye raping me?" I mocked him.

He rolled his eyes before walking toward me. His lips were met with mine as he kissed me on the lips cravingly. I felt his lips trailing down my jaw and then toward my neck. I felt like I knew where this was gonna go before I pulled away, "Antonio, I can't-"

He cut me off, "I know, I know."

There was no possible way that he could've known that I didn't want to do anything further with him because it was something that I didn't even tell him. I didn't tell him because I didn't want to tell him why. "When you're ready," he said to me. I had a feeling that he would think that I didn't want to have sex because I wasn't ready and trust me- I was beyond ready, but I just didn't want it to change anything.

He nodded his head and turned around, headed for his bedroom door before closing it behind him. I let out a breath before walking into his closet.

When I got inside, I was amazed by what I'd seen. It was a section of his closet filled with hoodies and shirts everywhere, leggings, jeans, and sweatpants that were actually my size, and sneakers. Most of them were sneakers that I'd already had, but I was still grateful. I wondered how he had enough time to put an entire section of clothes for me in his closet. More importantly, where did he get the money.

I know, he's wealthy and all. I didn't need another reminder. But how? He seemed like he never worked a day in his life. And if his family was rich, why did he seem to hate them so much?

Then I thought about it...

Rich kids always hate their banks.

I immediately pulled out some faded black ripped jeans. I didn't even look for a hoodie in my section. Instead, I grabbed one of his hoodies before throwing on a pair of all-black huaraches.

I walked back outside into his bedroom before I looked in the mirror. I left my hair all over the top of my head like it was before I walked out of his bedroom and down the stairs.

"I know!" I heard Clover yell before everybody burst out into laughter.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs I turned my head to the living room, where everybody sat before my jaw dropped. There was a huge white Christmas tree with decorations and about twenty gift boxes sitting beside the mantle.

"Hey, Dawn." I heard Clover say. She sounded like she was in a good mood.

I forced a smile before I walked over to where everyone else sat.

"We was about to give gifts," Royal told me.

I sighed, "My gifts are at home-"

Antonio passed me a gift box that looked oddly familiar. It was wrapped exactly how I wrapped my gifts- black wrapping paper with white bows. The tag wrote:

To: Royal
From: Dawn

"How- how did you get this?" I asked Antonio.

"I sent Ms. Gulgar to get all of your stuff." He explained.

I squinted my eyes, still not understanding exactly how he got the gifts. "Where is Ms. Gulgar anyway?"

"She'll be back in a minute," Antonio said.

I nodded my head before Clover yelled, "I'll go first!"

She grabbed a gift box wrapped in red glittery wrapping paper before passing it to Royal. He smiled before ripping it open and pulling out a stuffed animal.

He looked confused before Clover clarified, "It's a Build-A-Bear." His confusion hadn't disappeared until she continued, "For your baby."

Everyone's mouths formed an O-shape before Royal said sincerely, "Thank you, Vera." He stood up, hugging her before grabbing a box of his own. A tiny gift box wrapped in plain blue wrapping paper. He passed it to Aleeah and she smiled brightly before ripping it open.

In the box was a small jewelry box and I looked at Antonio before he looked back at me. We both looked shocked. In Virginia, it was legal to get married at the age of seventeen. We were all thinking that this was a proposal ring. However, I'm sure we were all thinking that this was a lousy way of proposing too. When I looked over at Clover, her face dropped. I could tell she was trying to be happy, but since she obviously had feelings for Royal, her misery was noticeable.

Aleeah opened the box before she pulled out a locket necklace. Inside the locket was an ultrasound picture. A photo of their unborn child. Aleeah stretched her arms, giving Royal a tight hug before Antonio started clapping. We all looked over at him at the unnecessariness of actions before he mouthed, "What? I know y'all was thinking what I was thinking." He was referring to our happiness that they weren't getting engaged. I think we all shipped, 'Cloyal.'

Everyone else laughed before I grabbed my gift box and handed it to Royal.

About twenty minutes passed and mostly everyone had gotten and given their gifts. Royal bought me a pair of black sneakers that I wanted but just hadn't had the time to get. I could've gotten them myself.

Clover's present was a bit more...

Clover.

When I opened my gift I was met with a box of sex toys. Immediately, I gave them back. Honestly, she needed them much more than me. Ever since she's been hung up on Royal, she's barely been to a party.

Which meant that she hadn't had any di-

The doorbell rang and Antonio got up to go open the door.

About three different footsteps were clicking toward the living room before I heard a familiar voice, "This is a beautiful home!"

Instantly, a smile was formed on my face as I got up. "Mom!" I said before running toward her and hugging her tightly. Ms. Gulgar had brought her.

I hadn't seen her outside in a while. Maybe that was my fault. But I was always hesitant about letting her go out because of all the horrible things that could happen.

While hugging her, I saw Antonio in front of me. I gave him melancholy smile before I let go of my mom and walked her into the living room.

Royal got up before hugging her, "What's up, Ms. Evans."

"It's good to see you again, sweetheart." She said to Royal while patting his back. She smiled before taking a seat on the sofa next to me. She had a gift bag in her hand before she passed it to me. I didn't really want to take any more gifts considering how the other gifts that I've gotten from everyone were mediocre. I was grateful for everyone and their presents, of course, but I didn't feel comfortable accepting gifts that I could've gotten myself or didn't want. Especially because some of these gifts they simply just couldn't afford. They could have spent their money on themselves.

But finally, I decided that I would open my mom's gift.

It can't be worse than Clover's.

When I opened the gift bag, there was a single envelope sitting inside at the bottom. I looked over at my mom, confused about why she put such a tiny piece of paper in a huge bag.

I reached for the envelope before ripping it open. I shut my eyes right after unfolding the paper and reading the first two lines. I needed to process the things that I've read.

"Mom, why would you give this to me?" I asked her, very confused.

"He sent me one in the mail a week ago and told me to give you yours on Christmas Day." She told me, assuming that that would be the only explanation I needed for this being my Christmas gift.

My deadbeat dad is sending Christmas cards now?

How sweet of him.

"Did you even read it, Mom?" I paused, "He left us. We haven't seen him in years! What makes you think that it's just some cute daddy-daughter present?" I put up finger quotes while saying, 'cute daddy-daughter.'

She looked at me like I was going crazy, "Sweetheart, I'm sure he had a good reason for leaving."

Yeah, I'm sure he had a good reason for giving me to the Millers too.

"It was years ago, you have to forgive him."

Forgive him??? Forgive the man that turned me into a psychopath? The man who took my normalcy? The man who stole my childhood?

I looked over at the others, staring at me with their devilish pity eyes before getting up from the couch and storming upstairs into Antonio's bedroom.

I paced around Antonio's room for about five minutes, convincing myself that I'd stop being emotionally affected by things like this before I heard a knock on the door. "I don't wanna talk," I shouted.

The door slammed open before Royal came waltzing in, "Too bad."

I rolled my eyes before plopping onto the bed. "You cool?" He asked me.

I looked up at him, my face answering his question before he kept going, "That was from your dad?"

"He isn't my dad," I told Royal.

"He was," He stated the obvious.

"What kind of dad leaves his kid for the wolves?" The Millers being the wolves in my situation. "Oh here, you're a killer. Let me just hand you my daughter." I said in a manly tone.

"Dawn, you can't keep holding onto this. What if he just wants to make amends?"

I rolled my eyes. Royal was a sucker for apologies and all of that amends shit. I found peace in knowing that my friends were able to see the best in people and that they were able to show forgiveness, but I was the complete opposite.

"I don't need him to make amends. I've been doing great without him."

Royal huffed before he continued, "Did you at least read the whole letter?"

"No, I don't want to."

Before Royal could say anything else the door opened and Antonio was standing outside it. "D, can I talk to you outside?" He asked me.

I got up from the bed before pushing past Royal, leaving him in Antonio's room as I walked out of the door. When we got into the hallway he grabbed my hand before pulling me into a different room, an empty room- no bed, no tv- nothing.

As soon as we got into the room, Antonio didn't hesitate, "Is this your father?" He showed me a photo of my dad and me from when I was about five years old.

I looked up at him, "Yeah, where did you get that?" I asked him.

"The envelope." Antonio looked surprised like he couldn't believe that this man was my biological dad.

"Why? Do you know him?" I asked.

He shook his head before swallowing, "No. No, I don't." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself that what he was saying to me was true. "He just looks familiar," he added.

"Antonio, what are you hiding from me?" I asked him.

He may have been telling the truth. He most likely didn't know my dad, but he has been sketchy lately.

He shook his head, "Nothing, D."

"You've been keeping secrets from everyone- especially me, since the day I met you. It's like the only person you talk to is your precious fucking girlfriend."

His eyebrows shot up, "What are you even talking about?" He sounded confused as he scrunched up his face.

Drea. Don't play dumb.

Once he finally understood what I meant by 'his girlfriend' he assured me, "Drea?? How many times do I have to tell you-"

I deepened my voice, trying to mock him as I said the words that he's said to me a thousand times, "I know, 'y'all are over.' Okay." I rolled my eyes before I turned around and walked over by the window and rested my arms on the window sill.

He sighed before he followed behind me. He leaned backward on the window before he turned his head, so now he was looking at me.

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

I scoffed at the ridiculousness of his question, "I don't trust anyone, but myself."

"You're lying," he said seriously. "I see the way you are around your friends. You trust them. Now, D. I need you to trust me."

At this point, I didn't even know what he was talking about. Was it about that bitch Drea? Or all the secrets that he's been keeping?

"What are you hiding from me?" I repeated.

He sighed, "Nothing." I gave him a side-eye, which told him that I didn't believe a word that came out of his mouth. "D... don't worry about it." He said.

I scoffed. "If you can't tell me, how am I supposed to trust you?" I shouted.

"Dawn, you kill people for a living. I'm not saying shit about it- that's just what you do." His eyes filled with instant regret as he said what he said without hesitation, "And I would trust you with my life."

I sort of smiled on the inside. Until he continued, "So, why can't you do the same for me?"

"Antonio... I don't trust," I told him once again.

His eyes softened above me before he said, "This is about your dad, right?"

I just stood there, not confirming nor denying, but maybe he was right. It was hard for me to trust anyone because one of the few people I trusted hurt me more than anyone ever could. Antonio continued, "D, maybe you should read the letter."

"No. I made up my mind."

"Look- I heard the shit Royal was saying and maybe he's right. If this is an apology letter, maybe you can finally be cool with him. You don't have to talk to him ever again if that's what you want, but if he's the one thing that's keeping you from trusting anyone- you should give this shit a chance."

He was right. They were all right- even my mom. I needed to let this go. I needed to let my dad go. I needed to let all of my anger go because it wasn't doing anything, but causing me more pain than it was worth.

I looked up at the ceiling before sighing. "Come here," Antonio muttered as he held his hand out, waiting to pull me into his embrace.

I got up from the window sill before standing on my tippy-toes, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as his arms went around my waist. I rested my head on his chest, feeling safe and comfortable in his arms before he kissed my forehead and whispered, "If you can't trust me, at least believe what I told you yesterday... I'll always be here. Okay?"

I nodded my head and without hesitation, I said, "I believe you." Of course, I still wanted to know what he was hiding from me, but I did think that he would never do anything to hurt me again. So, I put off the conversation for a while. But no matter what, I would find out what he was keeping from me and I didn't care what I had to do to get to the truth.

Five minutes passed before Antonio let go of me, "Come on," he said grabbing my hand and walking with me out of the room. He stopped me before he said, "And don't be so hard on your mom, she don't know about what your dad did to you."

Once he said that it dawned on me that I was being a complete asshole earlier and she didn't even know what was going on.

When we got into the hallway, we saw Royal coming out of Antonio's room. I immediately let go of Antonio's grasp before I looked up at him, catching him smirking devilishly at the fact that I almost got caught holding his hand.

I looked back over at Royal and his hands were behind his back and he looked nervous. I wondered if he'd seen us. "You been in my room for a minute," Antonio said to Royal.

"My bad bro. I- I wasn't ready to come downstairs yet."

Antonio nodded his head before he said to me, "You can go downstairs. I'm just gonna talk to Royal real quick."

I nodded my head before I went downstairs into the living room. Clover was sitting alone while Aleeah and my mom were laughing and talking about baby stuff.

I came and sat next to Clover, "You okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She lied.

"You're not." I corrected her. "But you will be," I said before taking her hand in mine.

Soon after, Antonio and Royal came rushing downstairs. "One more gift and then we out!" Antonio shouted.

"Ou.. where we going?" Clover and Aleeah said almost in sync.

"It's a surprise," Antonio said before looking over at me and winking.

Everything's always a secret with him, isn't it?

A small smile lit up my face before Antonio pulled out three small bags and a box. The box wasn't wrapped. Instead, it was just naturally all black with a big black bow tied to the front.

"It's yours." He told me.

I sighed at the fact that I'd gotten more gifts. I took them before I opened the bags. They were filled with sketchbooks, pens, tiny canvases, paint, and other artsy things. I looked at Antonio before I smiled brightly. "How did you know?"

"Detention."

I thought back to the day in detention when I was sketching in front of Antonio.

𝗳𝗹𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸:

I sighed before I took out a piece of paper and a pencil.

"What's that?" Antonio whispered as he looked at the sketch on my paper.

I ignored him and continued doing what I was doing. He sighed as his attempt to make small talk was failing.

He raised his hand, putting his index and middle fingers up, asking to use the bathroom.

About ten minutes later, he came back and sat next to me. This time he looked upset. He didn't even attempt to talk to me.

I looked over at him as he kept his eyes on his desktop. "Dawn," He said, silently asking why I was looking at him.

"Nothing," I said as I turned my head and looked back down at my paper.

𝗻𝗼𝘄:

I didn't realize the long way that Antonio and I had come.

"Thank you so much." I got up before giving him an excited hug.

I sat back down and looked over at Clover and Royal. I found them staring at each other before Royal commented, "Damn, why didn't we think of that."

"Because you're idiots." Antonio joked before everyone started laughing.

"I liked your gifts." I lied to Royal and Clover, I think they knew I was lying because they began side-eyeing me.

"But not as much as this gift. I remember when you were just a baby." My mom butted in.

I feel an embarrassing childhood story brewing.

"You used to take your pampers off and draw stick figures and rainbows all over the walls using your own poop-"

Here we go.

"Mom!" I shouted looking at her with no expression, praying that she wouldn't tell any more embarrassing stories. Everyone began laughing at either my reaction or the disgusting story my mom had just told. "Just let me open the other gifts, mom," I said

She giggled before I grabbed the perfectly shaped gift box and took the lid off. "This is a joke right?" I asked.

Clover looked down into the box before she began laughing uncontrollably. "My gift is so much better than this," She hollered.

"No, Vera. It can't be that bad, nothing can lose to your gift." Royal said jokingly, but serious all at once.

Clover rolled her eyes before she said, "Come look. At least mine could give her pleasure. This will just make her fat!"

Royal looked inside the box before sitting back down, not saying a word.

Inside the box were little takeout cartons from, 'Mary Anne's Diner', where Antonio and I had our first date.

"Open the boxes," Antonio said. There were only two boxes in there, but I had a feeling that inside the boxes were those burgers- basically the only thing they had on the menu.

I opened the first box and inside it was a stack of black index cards with white writing on it.

'For when you need to talk:' was written on the first card. I looked up at Antonio and he explained, "We all know how you can get... you bottle things up and sometimes you don't want to talk. So, I wrote different things that you may feel sometimes on each card and I wrote down some shit that I would say to you to make you feel better."

I smiled, "Thank you." I said sincerely.

I heard Royal scoff before he said to Clover, "Tuh... Yeah, you lost."

"Shut up," She responded.

I opened the second box and there was nothing in it, but a tiny card that wrote, 'You are worth so much more than this.'

"Ight, let's go," Antonio said, not even explaining to me what this card meant- what the gift meant.

Everyone else got up, following behind Antonio toward the door like the third gift inside the takeout box didn't even matter. "You still never told us where we are going," Clover said to Antonio.

He didn't respond to her instead he said, "Follow me."

Everyone, including me, walked out of the door and got in Royal's car. Me, Clover, and Aleeah sat in the backseat, while my mom took the passenger's seat.

We drove for about twenty minutes, following Antonio on his motorcycle before we ended up in a parking lot. We were at some building. It had no logos or signs- it looked vacant.

We all got out of the car before I walked up to Antonio, "Where are we?" I asked.

He held his hand out for me to take. I looked behind me to find Clover staring. She widened her eyes as she mouthed "DO IT!" before giving me the thumbs up.

I laughed at the fact that I've been trying to hide my feelings toward Antonio from my friends and they couldn't give two fucks.

I grabbed Antonio's hand before we walked across the parking lot and into the building.

When we were inside, the sight of something familiar struck me. There was a huge ice skating rink in the middle of the floor. I looked back at my mom before looking up at Antonio. He didn't look down at me, instead, he walked up to an employee.

He came back with ice skates for us all, but Aleeah and my mom decided that they didn't want to skate. Considering that one was pregnant and the other had life-threatening cancer.

They sat on benches outside of the rink before Antonio, Clover, Royal, and I zoomed off onto the ice.

It was apparent that Clover and Antonio didn't know how to skate. Both of them stuck to the wall as Royal and I raced each other around the rink.

"Come on! It's fun." I told Clover and Antonio, trying to convince them to stop wall-hugging.

I held Clover's hand before yanking her off the wall. Royal came on the other side of her before taking her other hand. "You good?" He asked her. When she nodded her head, Royal guided her as they began skating off in the middle of the rink.

I looked at Antonio. He had his arms crossed as he leaned on the wall. He was trying to be cool while he hugged the wall, which was quite funny. "How are you gonna take us here and not know how to skate?" I asked him.

"I do know how." He lied, attempting to get off of the wall and falling, hitting the ground hard.

I laughed before helping him up. I held his hand before teaching him the basics.

Ten minutes passed and Antonio was getting better. He wasn't 'Dawn Evans', but he was good. He was a fast learner too, considering that he was already gliding around the whole rink on his own instead of using those things that look like crutches that help babies skate.

When Clover finally got the hang of it, we all had a race around the rink and of course, I won. "I don't wanna race with you anymore," Clover said, wanting easier competition.

"Fine, you and Antonio can race," I said to her about to get out of the rink to take a break.

"Wait," Antonio stopped me before I turned around, facing him. It felt almost impossible trying to balance myself at that moment, so I fell back on my butt.

Antonio chuckled before he tried helping me up. Instead, of actually getting up, I pulled him down with me and his fall sounded much harder than mine. I laughed uncontrollably and he looked over at me as if he wanted to kill me before he began laughing with me.

Finally, we skated out of the rink before we took the skates off. "Dawn." He said, looking into my eyes.

I didn't respond, so he continued, "Dawn, you are worth so much more than this." This was the phrase that was inside of the takeout box that he got me for Christmas. He pulled out a diamond ring with the word, 'Always' and today's date engraved inside it.

I looked up at him before touching the ring with just a finger. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

Marriage is not what I planned on at seventeen. I don't even want to get married.

He's gonna hate me. What if he wants to kill me after I say 'no.'

Then I'll just kill him first.

No-

Then he'll kill you.

But I want my life-

"Dawn, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked me.

Oh.

I exhaled before sitting down on a bench beside us. I put my hand on my chest, warning myself that I needed to breathe. I don't know why I've always associated rings with marriage.

But he couldn't have gotten me a necklace? Or those basic ass burgers that he loves so much?

At least the burger wouldn't have given me a panic attack.

I laughed at myself internally before I looked up at Antonio and started to think about what I wanted to do- what I wanted to say. I thought about the secrets that he'd been keeping from me and I almost thought about saying 'no' before I thought about what it was like when I was with him. A subtle smile lit up my face as I thought back to yesterday when he took me to see the lights. Or to earlier when I realized that he was the only one to notice my tiny passion for art.

I didn't need a therapist to tell me that things were hard with Antonio, but it felt like it was worth it. Everything about being with him was worth it. Especially the little moments like making him laugh and seeing his beautiful smile that I could tell he didn't like to show, his passionate kisses that I just couldn't get enough of, and the way he looked at me- like he wanted me.

Being with him gave me a feeling that I've never felt before and as much as I tried to ignore it or wish that it wasn't there- I couldn't. I didn't know what the feeling was, but now that I had it, I knew that I needed it.

Be cool. Don't be overdramatic. Just say 'yes' and walk away.

I stood up and instantly, my lips crashed against his before I said into his mouth, "Yes."

Very subtle, Dawn.

I felt his lip turn upward before he began kissing me back roughly.

"Damn," I heard Royal from behind us.

I put up my middle finger as Antonio and I continued. Then I heard Clover's voice, "Y'all look like y'all suffocating, maybe you guys need some air."

Antonio began chuckling in my mouth, causing Royal and Clover to laugh uncontrollably.

~

𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫'𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞

"Please no more parties," I said to Clover before sitting down on my bed.

Clover rolled her eyes, "Then what are we gonna do? We can't just stay home on New Years'."

"We can invite everyone over, just us," I told her, referring to Royal, Aleeah, and Antonio.

"But we always do that."

I shrugged my shoulders before I said, "Okay, but this time it'll be different!"

"Why? Because for once you'll have someone's tongue shoved down your throat?" She asked jokingly.

"Clo..."

"Fine. 'Just us' it is." She said boringly before pulling out the new phone that I got her for Christmas.

"Hello?" Clover said, on the phone with someone. "Royal, can you come over later?" I assumed he agreed because when she hung up, she began smiling. "Okay, now all you have to do is call Ant," she told me.

"Okay," I said before taking out my phone and finding Antonio's contact in iMessages. Clover left the room before I began typing.

———————————————-——————————

𝗠𝗲: "anttt!"

I may have exaggerated a bit.

𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗼🤍: "Call Me"

𝗠𝗲: "why?"

𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗼🤍: "Just call Me"

———————————————-——————————

I sighed before calling his phone. After one ring, he answered before he said immediately, "I wanna see you." We hadn't seen each other in person since Christmas. That day, I went home with everyone else.

"Good," I said to him. "Everyone's coming over to my house later."

"Everybody?" He asked.

"Yeah?" I said, confused.

"Nothing, never mind." The line went silent for a few seconds before he spoke again, "I'll be there," he told me.

"Okay, see you," I said before hanging up the phone.

I walked out of my bedroom before I was met by Clover downstairs in the living room. I was about to go sit down next to her on the couch, but I heard the doorbell ring.

I went over to the front door before checking the peephole, staring down Malik. I opened the door and without invitation, he walked inside.

"Hey?"

"What have you been doing? I been texting you all week. We need to train." He told me seriously.

"I have been training." I wasn't lying, I trained today and yesterday in the bathtub.

"Really?" he asked me like he didn't believe me.

No. Not really.

I nodded my head and he continued, "Dawn, it don't matter. We have to train with each other. Did you forget that this is a group mission? If I don't know how you do things how are we supposed to work together?"

Speaking of a group mission, I completely forgot to tell him that I invited Antonio, Clover, and Royal. I walked toward the living room, leaving him room to follow behind me before I said, "My friends are coming."

His jaw dropped and his eyebrows closed inwardly, he looked furious, "Dawn, you know we can't do that."

"There are no rules against taking people on missions."

"Yeah, but there are rules about confidentiality!" He shouted, loud enough that my mom and Enzo could probably hear over all of their moaning and bed rocking.

"They won't know if we all keep our mouths shut."

"They're always watching us on missions, Dawn. They have pilots, drivers- everybody is always watching us!"

"Boo-fucking-hoo. Dawn, don't listen to him. He just wants you two to go alone so he can flirt his way into getting that promise ring off your finger," Clover interrupted. Malik huffed before rubbing his temple in frustration.

"It's not a promise ring," I told her for the millionth time.

"Seems like one to me."

I rolled my eyes before turning back to Malik. He was right. The Millers were always watching us. But I didn't want this to ruin a good time with Antonio, Clover, and Royal.

"We can pay them off," I told Malik.

"We can't offer them any more than the Millers already are. Shit, they are the ones paying us."

"Together-" I started. "Together we can pay for our own expenses!"

"No, you can pay. You want me to waste money just so you can have a good time with your useless friends? You can do that here!" He explained.

"But Malik..." I paused.

"It's Paris!"

~

Later that day, Royal showed up and Malik decided that he would stay over after he agreed to go half on paying for our travel fees.

"Yo, where's Aleeah?" Malik asked Royal.

"At home, she wasn't feeling good," he answered.

"Damn, I hope she ight."

Royal nodded his head before the doorbell rang. The only person that it could have been was Antonio.

When I opened the door, I sighed.

I'm tired of this bitch showing up at my house.

"What do you want, Drea?" I asked.

"Do y-" I cut her off. She wasn't even able to start her sentence.

"No, Toni isn't here. Bye." I said, waving before trying to shut the door, but she held it open with her hand.

"I'll just wait here for him then." She offered as if she wasn't taking no for an answer.

"No, you won't. I'm sure you have a phone." I looked down at her, considering that I was a bit taller than her. "Do you need his number?" I asked sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes before crossing her arms, "He isn't taking any of my phone calls."

"And that's my problem... Why?"

"It will be if you get smart with me one more time. You're gonna be wishing Toni was here to save you." She threatened me.

I laughed before I slapped her coldly, causing her head to turn. "I'm not like you, Drea. I don't need him at my every beck and call..."

Drea put her hands on her face, where I'd slapped her. Then she shouted, "I'm gonna make you wish you never did that."

I shrugged my shoulders, grinning derisively, "We'll see."

She stood there looking at me like she wanted to hurt me, but something was stopping her. Maybe it was her inability to handle things on her own without Toni present.

Just in time, before I had to forcefully remove this bitch off of my doorstep, Antonio showed.

He got off his motorcycle before walking up to us, "What's happening right now?"

"Ask your girlfriend. That is what she is now, right?" Drea said.

"Jealous that he only wanted to fuck you?" I asked her.

"I mean, at least he did. Jealous that he doesn't wanna fuck you-"

If only I could carve this bitch's lungs out.

I balled my hands into a fist about to lunge at her before Antonio interrupted, "Ight. That's enough." He stepped in the middle of both of us, facing me. Anger exploding through all of my cells before his hazel eyes stared down at me. "D, that's enough." He said softly. "Calm down," he repeated until finally, I took my hands out of its fist. I wasn't calm, but I was less angry.

That's a good start, right?

When he saw that I wouldn't hurt her- or anyone for that matter, he turned around to face Drea. "How sweet, you put your dog on a leash," She taunted me.

I balled up my fists again before I felt Antonio put his hand over mine, intertwining them, trying to calm me down for the second time. He didn't even have to look at me to know that my hands were in fists again.

"What do you want, Drea?" He asked her.

The million-dollar question.

"I need to talk to you," she said.

"No," he told her, "I don't want to talk to you."

"It's about your father." She continued.

"Then it can wait." He said before pulling me inside my house, leaving Drea outside, all alone and bitter.

We love to see it.

When we reached the living room, Antonio's eyes widened before he snapped, "What the fuck is he doing here?"

~

All night, Antonio and Malik had been exchanging dirty looks. I wasn't sure if their beef was because of me or what, but there was only two minutes until New Years'' and the two of them needed to get their shit together.

Royal and Malik talked and Clover and I did the same while Antonio sat on the sofa by himself. I got up before I sat next to him, "So, what's your New Years resolution?" I asked.

"I don't believe in those," he said with his eyes steadily on me. "There's nothing that I can do in the new year that I can't do now." He explained.

I nodded my head before I challenged him, "What if you're just not emotionally ready now. So, you need the new year?"

"That's just a bunch of bullshit excuses. Who's to say that you'll be ready then if you aren't ready now?" He took his eyes off of me. "If you want something, you'll do whatever it takes to have it." When he looked back up at me, his eyes were warmer than before. Filled with passion and emotion before we heard the countdown.

5!

4!

3!

2!

"Siempre," he said to me in Italian and somehow I just knew what it meant.

"Always," I assured him.

1!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone shouted.

Antonio pushed his lips against mine and I breathed heavily at the suddenness of his kiss.

"Always," I thought again to myself.

~

About four hours later, everyone was passed out on the floor in the living room. Antonio had made dinner before we all played a drinking game. A drinking game that required us to tell truths and do dares and if we couldn't we would have to take however many shots that were told of us. Of course, we all had our secrets and we all had our limitations. So, we ended up drinking more than we expected.

There was a loud banging on the door. Surely, no one else heard it. So, I got up from the floor trying to get to the door, staggering before I turned the doorknob, not even checking the peephole.

When I opened the door, a woman in all black stood there. "Number 117?" She asked me.

I nodded my pounding head before she continued, "This is for you." She shoved an envelope into my hands before walking off.

"Damn, who's suing me?" I whispered to myself.

I trudged back into the living room and sat down on the couch, my hands on my head before I tore open the envelope.

I'm actually getting kinda tired of letters and envelopes.

Inside the envelope was a letter that wrote:

"You mustn't underestimate them. The Black Dragons are cold-hearted and will put an end to anyone who stands in their way.

You, # 117 have been paired with # 88 (Malik) to take these individuals out. You are two of our most valuable candidates for the job. Do not make us regret our decision of sending you to handle one of our most important cases.

We've got an anonymous tip. We know where some of the Black Dragon's guards will be.

Contact 1-(843)(645)(5377)

- M"

I put the letter down, my head still throbbing before I smothered my face in my hands. I knew that the Black Dragons were dangerous, but not this dangerous. Not to the point where they'd be a threat to Malik and me. I began contemplating on whether or not the others should tag along on the mission.

"Well, Happy New Year to me," I sighed.

New year, same shit right?

authors note:

(jan 24. 2022)

i don't think i'm finishing this book. the only way i'll finish is if i edit and/or rewrite the whole thing because i hate this book. ngl.😭